Between Love and Lies (18 page)

“I need you to return her to the Star.”

Noah spun from the train to face John standing opposite him on the other side of the tracks.

His muscles coiled, preparing for a fight. But he couldn’t slug or shoot his way clear of John. Not with Sadie in his arms. He’d have to set her down. His arms refused to release her. He strode toward Pepper who patiently waited a short distance away.

John set a parallel course beside him. “She ain’t in no shape to travel.”

Noah kept walking. “I’m not leaving her alone with you and Gertie.”

“There’s a room waiting for you at the Star. For you and Sadie. Or have you forgotten that you paid for a night with her?”

Noah halted beside Pepper. “And in the morning?”

“Sadie will have had time to rest, and the madam will have time to cool off.”

“I need to go back.” Sadie’s words held a quiet certainty.

“Like hell you do,” he bit out.

“If Wardell wasn’t coming for me,” she continued in the same tone, “then I’ve no reason to run.”

She had no reason to stay either. At least not one she’d shared with him. And she had yet to pay Gertie’s price for running away. Anger whipped him around to face John. “You didn’t hear Madam Garrett telling him—” he thrust his chin at the man, “—to punish you as soon as he found you.”

“She knows the madam’s rules.” John widened his stance with one foot behind the other, braced and ready.

Damnation. He’d have to set Sadie down after all.

“I knew,” she said, “and I still climbed out that window.” The warmth of her palm on the back of his neck, made his pulse jump. With the barest of pressure, she pulled his head down until her lips brushed his ear. “I don’t want to return to the saloon, but…” Her halting, soft-spoken words made his heart race even faster. “I must finish what I started.”

If he hadn’t seen the clearness in her eyes a moment before, he might’ve thought that she was so exhausted she was letting her secrets slip. This was no accident. This secret was for him, and him alone.

He turned his back to John and lowered his voice to match hers. “What’s so important it’s worth risking a beating or worse?”

“A promise made to a friend. Someone who helped me when no one else would. Will you…help me fulfill that promise?”

Finally, she’d asked for his assistance. Without hesitation he said, “Yes.”

* * *

Sadie forced herself
to say the words. “Then take me back to the Star.”

As soon as they left her mouth, Noah stiffened in rejection while at the same time his arms tightened around her. He gave a whistle and his horse, and John, followed them toward town.

She tried to relax in his arms, wanting to stay there forever and dreading the moment when he must put her down…when she’d be alone again. All too soon, they reached the alley behind the Star. As soon as they did, the back door burst open. Gertie stood in the doorway, hands fisted on her hips, her glare sharp as a blade.

Sadie’s anxiety doubled. She concentrated on remaining still, on not showing her fear. A hefty challenge that kept her well occupied.

“I’m sorry you’ve been inconvenienced, Mr. Ballantyne.” Gertie’s voice was tight with repressed anger. “Rest assured she’ll be disciplined for wasting your time.”

Noah’s embrace couldn’t stop the cold from reaching her. Icy tendrils streaked down her back, reminding her of what was to come—the lash of John’s strap.

She tamped down her shivers. She’d chosen this path.
Too late to head down another,
she reminded herself.
Pain is temporary. Fear is fleeting.
Making sure Gertie couldn’t savor her triumph over Edward would strengthen her forever. But to get to forever she had to survive today.

Noah’s fingers squeezed her arm with a gentle reassurance. She hadn’t hidden her fears after all. He’d felt them. How could he not, when he held her this close?

“My time with Sadie has been well spent, Madam Garrett,” he said. “I look forward to enjoying my entire night with her.”

She’d forgotten his purpose for coming to the saloon an hour earlier: an entire night alone together. She felt her jaw sag along with Gertie’s.

The madam recovered first. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, however, and the lines around her mouth remained hard. “Room’s where you left it. That much hasn’t changed. It hasn’t sprouted wings and flown the nest like the ingrate in your arms did when she ran us all ragged in search of her.”

Sadie swallowed the urge to comment that Gertie hadn’t run anywhere and didn’t look in the least bit ragged.

Gertie’s gaze cut to John hovering behind them. “You’re needed at the bar. Have one of the girls stable your horses.” She stepped back to let John pass. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

Noah blocked John from entering the saloon. “I’d hate to hear of Sadie being punished for this or anything else. When I come to the Star, I bring only my money. I want to leave my duties as a lawman outside.”

John looked to Gertie for confirmation.

The madam’s lips compressed into a thin line. Finally, she nodded. Then she gave Sadie a crafty-eyed once over. “I reckon you’ll want me to add a tub of water to your bill, Mr. Ballantyne.”

“And clean clothing for Sadie,” he replied.

Gertie nodded again, this time with approval. “I’ll send something appropriate, something to match your room.”

Noah cleared his throat. “I’ll probably need a bottle of whiskey as well.” A muscle jumped in his jaw as he carried her through the door and into the chaos of the saloon.

A never-ending volley of voices fought to be heard over the strident notes of the piano. Noah scowled the men out of his way as he headed for the fancy room. He kicked the door closed behind them. The noise on the other side faded to a distant thunder as he strode to the bed.

The ache inside her returned, coiled tight. She went still around it. Waiting. Wanting.

With infinite care, he set her down on the mattress and sat beside her. His hands moved to her waist. His grip tightened and eased, drawing her back to his warmth. She held her breath, anticipating what he’d do next.

He released her and went to stand by the window.

The loss of him, sturdy as a house of bricks around her, left her shaking. She needed to put an even greater distance between them, so she could rebuild the wall around her heart. She needed to stop lying to herself. From day one, she’d never had a hope of maintaining that wall.

“Where did you go, this time, when you left me?” She regretted her question immediately, the weakness in it and in her. Her hands clutched in her lap seemed the safest place to look.

“Sadie,” his voice was gruff, “after we kissed, you had me tied up six ways till Sunday. It’s not wise for me to be near you when I’m in such a state.”

She nodded. In this way they were similar. She stole a look at him from under her lashes.

He leaned heavily against the window frame while he surveyed their surroundings. “This room is…astonishing. It’s so colorful it hurts my eyes.”

She’d been so wrapped up in Noah that she hadn’t given the room a second of her attention as he carried her in. The setting sun made the jewel tones even more vibrant. She fidgeted with the sleeve of her jacket then stopped, realizing how filthy she was from her fall in the coal car and her tumble from the train. She was covered in dirt and coal dust, but her wretched appearance hadn’t seemed to bother Noah.

“You know this is only temporary,” he said.

She clenched her teeth.
Pain is temporary. Fear is fleeting.
Don’t let him distract you.

He heaved a sigh. “I can’t protect you if Madam Garrett believes no further payments can be gained from the arrangement.”

“You’re in this room because of Gertie?” She sealed her lips, mortified that she’d almost blurted her hope he was here for a whole lot more.

“And because—” He pushed away from the window. When he reached the bed, he leaned down until his lips hovered over hers. “I want—” his voice was low, urgent, “—you.” He breathed the last word into her mouth.

She opened to him wholeheartedly. Her pulse raced to an ancient tune. A primal need devoured all coherent thought. All except one: it wasn’t enough. She must, somehow, get even closer. She pressed against him, and gasped when the pain from her fall reminded her not to move so quickly.

With a muffled curse, Noah stepped out of reach…out of hers and his. “I shouldn’t have—” He scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “You need to rest and heal. Most of all we need to talk.”

“About what?” She brushed her fingertips over the tingling warmth he’d awakened in her lips before he retreated. Words couldn’t describe what she felt, what he made her feel.

“I’m not leaving you again.” Despite his reply, he paced the room like a caged wolf.

Another truth fell into her grasp. They were the same in this as well. “Dodge’s oppression is eating at you. You crave the open country.” Her now fisted hand lowered from her lips to her lap. “You’ll leave.”

“I won’t.”

“Yesterday you went…”
Far enough for me to fear you’d never come back.

He stopped in the middle of the room, halfway between the window and the door. “I went to your farm.”

Disbelief made her gasp. “My farm?”

“You could go there as well.”

“I can’t. I have to—” Her gaze ricocheted around the room, her mind searching beyond the walls for where she might look for Edward’s possession. She’d run out of places.

He spun to face her. “Tell me,” he urged, “about your friend, the one you promised.”

She wanted to tell him. She desperately wanted to share this burden with someone else. But how much could she say about Edward before Noah unraveled all of her lies? After that, how long before Gertie knew as well?

A knock shattered the brittle silence between them.

He crossed to the door and held it wide. “I’ll take that.” He lifted a copper bathtub from the straining hands of two of Gertie’s girls. He carried it across the room as if it weighed nothing. The women’s gazes followed him, frank and admiring.

“I assume there’s water coming as well?” He asked over his shoulder.

The women’s steps dragged as they left but picked up when they returned with buckets filled to the brim. Each time he met them in the doorway and bid them to bring more. When he declared the tub held sufficient water, they brought a whiskey bottle, two glasses and a chiffon peignoir—red as a sunset before a storm, thin as the steam rising above the tub. The harlot’s dress she’d stuffed in the livery loft seemed like the garb of school-matron in comparison.

Noah urged the women out and shut the door behind them, leaving her alone with him and her longing.

She stared at the peignoir clutched in her hand. Why did her body crave only him? And her mind as well? The thought of wearing the sheer garment in front of him filled her with excitement but also an impulse to run again. A fine strumpet she was. She could learn a lot tonight.

“Are you thinking about climbing out that window again?” The closeness of his voice made her start.

Her gaze darted up to meet his. When had he moved to stand opposite her?

He sank down on his heels, so he was the one looking up at her, and she down at him. His amber eyes glowed with a warmth that heated her straight through. Her desire to run went up in smoke.

“Neither of us can leave this room tonight,” he said. “We have a role to play. One that will convince the madam there’s no need to punish you.”

Her heart was willing to cooperate. More than willing. But where was her common sense? Yesterday she’d decided the wisest option was to have nothing to do with him. Today her nerves were jumping like fish in a stream, pulled by an unfamiliar but irresistible force.

He removed his hat and clenched it in both hands, staring at it as if he fought something inside him as well. “There’s one thing I need from you.”

Only one? That didn’t sound right. Not when she craved a hundred things from him. She shook her head.

“Promise me—” his voice deepened with urgency, “—you’ll come get me next time you need to leave Dodge.”

She continued shaking her head. She was done making promises she couldn’t keep. His gaze lifted to meet hers. The worry in his eyes made her shake her head all the harder. She wanted so much more than his concern.

“How long before someone comes along demanding the privileges Madam Garrett believes I’m taking tonight?”

The space between them felt charged as the second before a lightning strike. She dared not move for fear that a misplaced gesture or expression might reveal her secrets. “You said you’re the only one the doctor told I wasn’t contagious.”

“And nevertheless those men were forcing you onto their train.”

“I misjudged what others might do despite the risks.” A stupid thing to do considering how she gambled so recklessly with her own life.

His grip on his hat eased. “I can think of several things I’d like to do with you that aren’t too risky.” He played the brim through his fingers, softly, reverently.