Read Betwixt, Before, Beyond Online
Authors: Melissa Pearl
I go to start texting him back, trying to figure out a good excuse.
"You should just call him." Adam nudges me with his elbow.
"What am I supposed to say?"
"Tell him the truth."
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because he'll...he'll know what I've been up to."
"And you don't want to tell him, because..."
"He's really protective of me. He'll be annoyed that I've put myself in this position."
"Since when have you ever been afraid of someone getting annoyed with you?"
I can't help a smile. "Dale's different, Adam. I don't want to lose him."
Adam's chuckle is soft. "Bravery's a choice, remember?"
I flick the guy a very droll look before pushing myself out of the chair and limping into the corridor. My finger hovers over the screen as I take in a quick breath. My phone beeps again with a second message.
Where are you?
He picks up after one ring. "Hey, are you okay? I've been looking for you everywhere?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
"We were supposed to be at the gym 20 minutes ago. Where are you right now?"
"I'm..." I glance around me and take in the walls of city hall, then press my lips together. "I'm at home."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got a really bad headache and needed to come home."
"You should have told me. I would have driven you. I knew something was up when you didn't join me for lunch."
"Sor
ry, I didn't want to bother you."
"Seriously?" Dale sounds surprised. "Babe, that's so not your style."
"Haha."
He chuckles at my sarcastic
reply, completely oblivious to the fact I'm lying to him. Guilt singes my center, but I push it away.
"Do you want me to come over?"
"Actually, I just really want to go to sleep. Mom's given me some meds and I'll probably be out in a few minutes anyway."
"Okay, have you called the physical therapist?"
"Oh shoot! I forgot."
"Don't worry. I'll do it." I can hear the smile in his voice. "I might just head down there and work out anyway."
"Okay." I try not to sound miffed that I'm going to miss out on seeing that. I need to sound poorly, not pissed.
"Call me later if you need anything, okay. I can come over whenever. Even if it's to help you study or read you a book or...kiss your forehead better."
Melt my heart! "Thanks babe." I love you! Man, I want to say it so bad. Instead, I suffice with, "Have a good workout."
I walk back to an empty reception area.
"Where's Adam?"
Janine looks up at my question. "He and his father just left."
My heart feels ready to explode. I'm about to hobble down the corridor to make sure the Sheriff isn't trying to slay his son in the bathrooms or something.
"Miss Tepper, you got a minute?" The mayor is standing
at his office door, smiling at me.
"I um..." I look down the hallway. "I..."
"Don't you worry about Adam. He's going to be fine."
The mayor's expression is so full of confidence that I can't help believing him. I reach for my bag and slowly make my way into his office.
"Is everything..." I swallow. "How did everything go?"
The mayor doesn't say anything.
Just points to the box of tissues on the low table by the couches. I think that's a good sign...maybe.
Pulling up his pant legs a little, the mayor takes a seat on the couch and points to the armchair adjacent to his.
I slip into it, placing my bag at my feet.
"I know everything now. Everything Adam told me, the sheriff verified...albeit reluctantly."
"Is he...what's going to happen to them?"
"I'm not at liberty to disclose the whole conversation, but according to Adam, you're refusing to press charges. Is that right?"
I nod.
"Well then, I think the sheriff and I have come to an agreement that will work for everybody." I want to ask what it is, but the mayor keeps talking, stealing my chance. "It's sad really." The mayor scratches his eyebrow. "Sheriff Hutton loves his son. All he was trying to do was protect him, but in a really stupid way."
"People do stupid things for the ones they love."
"So it seems." The mayor's gaze is so
piercing, I shrink back into my seat.
"You really threatened the town sheriff?"
I swallow, bite the edge of my lip and with a wince, whisper, "Yes."
Mayor Stanford shakes his head then starts to snicker. "You must really love that boy."
"He's pretty hard not to."
The mayor gives me a smile. "Dale's a lucky guy, Nicole."
"Not if his police record stops him from getting what he wants."
"Sometimes we have to live with the consequences of our choices." The mayor shrugs.
"But what about redemption! Second chances. Dale is such an amazing guy. He's changed so much, and he won't revert back to who he was. He's proved that. I'm just so sad that his past is hindering his future and there's nothing he can do about it." My face crumples. "And there's nothing I can do about it now either. The sheriff's going to call his brother tonight and tell him not to bother with the whole Columbia thing. I just know it. And that reference letter may as well be dust."
The sting of tears burns my eyes. I blink at them fiercely.
The mayor lifts the Kleenex box towards me. "Why don't you tell me the whole story. Maybe there's something I can do to help."
It's been eight days since my little jaunt to city hall. Six days since rumors tore through Big Bear about Sheriff Hutton resigning from his position. Five days since it was all confirmed. Three days since I bumped into a sullen looking Adam. He wouldn't talk to me, and that's why today, when I spotted him in the library, I left my table and crept down the aisle after him. I had something I wanted to give him. It's been sitting in my bag all week.
"Hey." Adam turns at my quiet call.
He looks tempted to run away, but then stops and lets me approach him.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing?"
"I'm good." He nods.
"Really? Cause you don't look great."
A grin flits across his face. "I'm doing okay."
I nod, still unconvinced. My fingers feel twitchy and nervous as I hold out the folded
pages in my hand.
"What's this?" His brows bunch with confusion as he slowly takes them.
I chew my lip as he unfolds them. His expression doesn't flinch for what seems an age.
"I hope you don't mind, I just thought I'd check into it for you."
He folds the pages back up and taps them against his leg, his face finally breaking with a small smile. "I knew you'd get my ass into gear, Nicky Tepper."
I grin. "Those are just a few pages of information on what you need to do to become a S
EAL. It's going to take you a while, but I know you can do it." I point to the papers. "I'm pretty sure you can apply online, but you might want to call and ask about it all first. The contact info's on the last page."
He nods, his grateful grin morphing to a frown.
"I told Dad what I wanted to do last night."
I lose my breath for a second "What'd he say?"
Adam shrugged. "He wasn't happy about it, but he hasn't tried to stop me either." He grips the papers. "They're looking to sell the house. Once I'm gone there'll be no one left at home, so..."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Dad's not really talking to me anymore."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"Maybe." Adam clears his throat, opening the pages and scanning the information I found for him. "He'll always be my dad though, you know? He loved being Sheriff and I basically ruined it for him."
"He didn't have to take the fall for you, you know?"
"Yeah, I guess."
I look down at my freshly painted nails, now a chocolate brown, and think about what my mom said. "I know this might be hard to understand, but there's more than one way to say,
I love you
. When your dad resigned to cover your ass, I think that's what he was trying to tell you. Even when he wanted to bury me so that you wouldn't get in trouble. No matter how strict or scary he's been to live with, deep down, beneath all his bullshit, I think he really loves you, Adam."
Where the hell is this coming from?
I don't even know how I manage to keep my voice so calm and sincere. The Sheriff is such a jerk. But no matter how much of a jerk he has been, I still can't deny the fact that I really think he did all this for Adam. He wants his son to have the best...because he loves him.
"Thanks, Nicky," Adam mumbles, lightly slapping me on the head with the papers.
I chuckle. "Now go become the best damn Navy SEAL there is, and prove to your dad how much you love him back."
I think he likes that I said that, because his blue eyes sparkle and the side of his mouth jerks with a little smile. "Get out of here, Tepper. Stop bossing me around."
With a cheeky grin, I turn and walk to the end of the aisle. Just before I duck out of sight, I turn one last time. I can't help myself. Clearing my throat, I stand to attention and give him a salute. Before he can throw anything at me, I nip back to my desk, but I'm sure I hear him chuckle.
Dale's at the table, looking at my stuff and scanning the library, no doubt wondering why I'd left all my stuff sprawled across the table.
"Where'd you go?"
"Oh," I glance over my shoulder. "I was just looking for a book."
He looks at my empty hands with a frown.
I rub my fingers together and smile at him.
His frown takes a while to dissipate. Things haven't been the same between us since I lied to him at city hall. I can't put my finger on what it is. Dale's been edgy, I've been nervous and neither of us can talk about it. He was away all weekend which didn't help and the times we've been spending together recently have been of the silent type.
This worries me. I'm scared he wants to break up with me before he heads off to college, but doesn't want to hurt me. The thought is like a butcher's knife through my stomach, so I block it out and continue smiling. "What are you doing here?"
"Mr. Attley let us out early, so I thought I'd come find you...walk you to lunch." He would usually grab my hand at this point, or give me a kiss. Today he does neither. His hands are in his pockets, which tarnishes his sweet sentiment. I wish he'd tell me why this silent distance seems to be growing between us. I know I could ask, but I'm not sure I want to hear the answer. It's not like I'm doing much to fill the silence with anything.
My hands are shaking as I pack away my stuff. I'm sure my cheeks are flushed from lying to him. I keep my eyes down, feeling his steady gaze on the back of my head.
Adam walks past us as I lift my bag onto my shoulder. Our eyes connect for a brief moment, but he quickly glances away. Dale's frown is marked as we silently follow him. I thread my fingers through his and give them a squeeze. He kind of squeezes back, but then his hand goes limp in mine. It's the longest walk out of the library ever.
As soon as we're in the corridor, Dale pulls me into a quiet classroom.
"I can't do this anymore," he mutters.
"What?" My voice is breathy and pathetic. He's breaking up with me now?
"Nicky, what's going on?" Dale's scar looks red as his cheeks go taut. "I know something's up. You're lying to me."
"I
—"
"Don't say you're not." He sighs and runs a hand over his short hair. "Is
—is something going on with you and Adam? I heard someone say they saw you getting into his car last week...the day you bailed on me." He grips the back of his neck, looking pained and frustrated. "Are you...are you guys..." He's struggling to form the words because I think he's about to accuse me of cheating.
I blanch and grip the strap of my bag. "No. What are you talking about? No!"
He raises his hands, his usual attempt at stopping a verbal onslaught from me. I wasn't actually about to get mad with him, but whatever. If anything he's probably entitled to assume those things. I lied to him. I did sneak off with Adam, and my reputation is hardly sparkling. But I would never...on Dale? He has no idea how lucky I feel just being with him.
I cross my arms, unable to look at him. I need to nip this conversation in the bud. I can't let Dale know what I've been up to...even if he is thinking the worst of me right now.
"Dale," I force a gentle tone. "I know I've been callous with relationships in the past, but I would never cheat on you...I couldn't do that. Not to you."
He looks sad for a second and won't look at me. "I know. I'm sorry for even thinking it." He kicks the desk leg lightly. "I just hate the thought that you're hiding something from me. I...I like it that we can talk about everything."
My insides go all soft and mushy when he uses that voice. He's going to try and get the truth out of me. Damn it! I can feel myself folding already.
"This past week you've been really...I don't know. Like you're trying to pull away from me or something."
I'm trying to pull away? I'm not the one begging for a spot on the east coast? Hello!
His words bug me though. Have I been? Was getting wrapped up in the
Get Dale into Columbia
mission an attempt to pull away so that when he does leave it won't hurt so much? It was a damn good distraction. I have to admit, that now just waiting around to hear news of his acceptance is like a whole new level of torture.
I try not to let any of this show as I walk towards him, placing my hand on his neck. My thumb rubs over his smooth scar. "I'm not trying to hide from you." Well, not anymore anyway. I've done my part. Now I just have to wait for D-Day to arrive. Speaking of D-Day. "Have you...heard from any more colleges yet?"
He eyes me skeptically, not missing my swift topic change. His face masks over and he gazes down at our feet. "Still waiting." He shrugs.
There he goes again. Now who's hiding?
His silence is really getting to me. He was pretty closed off about his weekend. What was he doing?
I'm trying to figure out how to ask him when the door swings open and a flustered teacher with an arm full of paperwork walks in. She's new this year. What's her name again?
"Kids, you shouldn't be in here during lunch. Please, this is my only free time today. Get out." In spite of the firm order, her words are said with a sweet smile.
Snatching up our bags, we make a beeline for the door
, and both decide to drop the inquisition. We're both hiding something. We both know it. If I don't tell him what I've been up to then maybe he shouldn't have to tell me what he's been doing. I try not to let this bug me as we make our way to lunch.
All I have to do now is trust that the wheels I set in motion will give Dale the thing he craves most. My heart quivers, wondering if I can take it.