Betwixt, Before, Beyond (32 page)

Chapter Thirteen

My heart can't take it!

It's the next day and there it is again.
Another Columbia University letter. I can see it on the counter. Part of me wants to run to it and rip it open for Dale. Did it work? Did all my scheming pay off?

Another part of me, the big quivery heart part, makes me back towards the door.

"I just remembered." My shoulder hits the doorframe. "I have to... My mom wants me home a little earlier this afternoon." I can't take my eyes off that damn letter. I don't want to know. Either way, I don't want to know what is in that freaking envelope.

Dale's watching me with a worried frown.
He follows my line of sight. As soon as his eyes hit the envelope, I can't take it anymore.

"See ya!" I dash out the door before he can stop me, ignoring him when he half-heartedly calls my name. I know he won't follow me. He's seen the letter. He's
gonna be opening it right now.

I stumble into the house, not even noticing if anyone's home. I don't care. I just need my room...my bed...a full box of Kleenex. My eyes are already dripping tears by the time I make it. I dump my bag on the floor and fling myself onto the bed, clutch my pillow and sob like a toddler.

I know, totally over dramatic, but I feel like I've kind of earned this.

I haven't kicked up a serious fuss since this whole college debacle started, which is so unlike me. I think I'm entitled to a tear-fest.

My stomach starts to hurt from all the jerking, and my pillow is soon sodden. The tears have all dried up and I've got nothing left, but I still can't move. I just want to lie here. I feel exhausted, spent, and now I have to face like the bleakest future ever.

Tears are just setting in once more when there's a soft knock on my door.

"Go away, Mom."

"She's not here."

Dale's soft voice makes me gasp. I spin around to face him. Crap, I probably look terrible...blotchy face, puffy eyes, snotty nose. I grab for a Kleenex and quickly mop up.

"Where
…where is she?" I scrunch up my tissue and throw it towards the trash can. For once it actually gets in. I'm too depressed to celebrate or even look surprised.

Dale's eyes are dancing with amusement as he leans against the doorframe. "I'm not sure. The house is empty...except for us."

Usually this news thrills me. An uninterrupted make-out session! Yes!

But I can't muster it today. Instead
, I just stare at him, from his peaked eyebrow to the letter in his hand.

Crap. The letter.

I recognize the white envelope, my breath catching in my throat. He taps it twice against his leg and steps further into the room.

"Nicky." He holds the letter up. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

Giving me a droll look, he unfolds the letter, reading, "Due to a reassessment of your application, Columbia University is pleased to inform you that you have been accepted."

My heart trips. I don't know whether to feel elation or deflation. I kind of feel both. My lips twitch with a grin in spite of the deflation factor. "Why do you think I had anything to do with it?"

"Nicky, I know it was you." He perches on the edge of my bed, facing the wall, his elbows propped on his knees. He glances at me over his shoulder then shakes his head. "I know your powers of persuasion are nearly unbeatable, but seriously what did you do?"

I roll towards him and run my finger down his back. "I maybe...had a chat to the Sheriff."

"A chat?" He swivels to face me, his knee touching my stomach.

"Or maybe I blackmailed him a little bit." I wince.

"What? Nicky!"

"I just asked him if he'd make a call and give you a really good reference, that's all. It worked, didn't it? With some help from the mayor as well," I mumble.

Dale's eyes bulge wide, but then they scrunch with confusion and finally settle on understanding. "The mayor." He shakes his head with a smile I don't understand. I'm about to ask him when he keeps talking, "Nicky, what the hell have you been up to? Is
…is this why the sheriff resigned?"

"No, well, I mean yes." I grab Dale's fingers
, trying to take that shocked look off his face. "I had no choice. I had to get Adam involved and then he got all noble and went and confessed everything to the mayor. I didn't intend for it to go that far. I just...I know how much you wanted Columbia and how you didn't want to disappoint your dad and stuff."

Dale's voice is soft, laced with a touch of fear, "Nicky, that could have been really bad."

I didn't want to tell him that it nearly was bad...very bad. I swallow and prop myself up on my elbow. I let go of Dale's hand and run my fingers up his arm, loving the curve of his bicep. I wriggle my fingers beneath the fabric of his T-shirt, trying to memorize it.

A breath puffs out his nose as he looks at the letter, slightly perplexed. "Why would you go to all this effort for me?"

"Because!" I drop back on my pillow and stare at the ceiling, unable to look at him. "You...you're amazing and talented and good, and you deserve the world, Dale." I turn to him, my voice trembling. "I want you to have everything your heart desires."

His expression goes all mushy, his eyes dancing with
a tenderness beyond anything I've seen before. His lips stretch with a gentle smile as he drops the letter to the floor and gets on the bed, lying down beside me. The length of his body presses against mine. I love the way we fit next to each other, like a jigsaw puzzle.

His head is propped on his hand so he can look down at me. Running his fingers over my face, he leans towards me. His lips are exquisite as they touch mine for a brief kiss. "You know what I want most in this world?"

Columbia? New York City?

Both thoughts make me want to cry, and I hate myself. I can't believe I gave him his dream. I'm such a fool!

I shrug and look away from him.

Gripping my chin, he gently nudges me back to face him. His eyes lock onto mine
, and I can't let go. "You, Nicky. I want you."

"What?" I can't help sounding stupid. What is he saying to me right now?

With a soft chuckle, he runs his thumb over my open mouth. "I want to be near you." He kisses my lips then my cheek, and then rests his lips against my ear. "Which is why I finally told my dad about Columbia."

"What'd he say?" Worry surges through me.

Dale's face crests with a very small frown and he shrugs. "He was disappointed at first, but then we talked it through, and he saw where I was coming from. He understood that my dreams have changed."

"
What do you mean?" I whisper, a fleeting hope stealing the strength from my voice.

"
I mean that I've decided to attend UCLA."

I'm sure I look like a psycho killer from a horror movie with my big puffy eyes and my dumb struck expression. "You got into UCLA?"

He grins. "I found out yesterday."

And then I slap him on the chest. "Why didn't you tell me you were applying there? I thought you wanted an east coast school!"

I love the way he always laughs when I'm mad...well, sort of love it. He's chuckling as he grabs my wrist so I can't hit him again. "It was a last-minute decision." He rubs his thumb into the palm of my hand. "I…I was trying to avoid LA, because of my past. I know it's a massive city, but I just didn't want to bump into anyone I once knew." Shaking his head, he grimaces then looks at me. "I've been tortured ever since not getting into Columbia. I felt like it was a sign, but I didn't know what to do. Every east coast school I applied for rejected me, but UCLA took me straight away."

"So all my stress was for nothing?"

"Don't blame me. You didn't tell me what you were up to." He sounds just a touch annoyed.

"Neither did you," I mutter, slumping back down on my bed.

"I didn't want to say anything in case it didn't come through. Even when I got the interview, I still didn't want to pin my hopes on anything."

"The interview?"

"Yeah, that's where I went this weekend. It's funny, just before I left, I got a call from the mayor offering to be a referee for me, for whatever school I wanted. I was too happy to figure out why he just randomly called me." His grin is delicious as he traces my jawline with his index finger. “I guess I now know why."

I don't know what to say. I can't even think straight. UCLA - University of Cali-frickin-fornia, LOS ANGELES!
As in just down the hill. I'm speechless. My mouth opens and closes for a minute, and then I blink like I'm in some kind of trance and say, "So, no Columbia then?"

Dale blushes. "No Columbia." He brushes my bangs across my forehead and tucks them behind my ear. "Nicky the thought of being that far from you wa
s killing me. UCLA's like a two-hour drive away. I can come home for weekends or you can come visit. We'll be in the same time zone. It'll be—"

I grab his face and kiss him. It's all I can do. He probably feels like I'm mauling him, but saying
thank you
just won't cut it. He's not leaving me! He's chosen a school that's close by. He wants to stay with me. He wants to be near me!

I can feel his shoulders shaking with mirth as I hold his face and kiss him senseless. His muffled humor soon changes to a pleasant moan. His hand slides up my leg and over my butt, his fingers finding their way beneath my shirt. They glide over my belly, cupping my breast softly before threading around my back. I wrap my good leg around him, pulling him on top of me. I love the weight of his body, protecting me, loving me. I can feel his excitement and can't help wondering if this is it. Are we finally sealing the deal?

My heart spasms at the idea.

And then the freaking phone rings!
It's not mine, it's his. It makes his butt buzz. I reach for his back pocket and pull it out, tempted to throw it on the floor. He grabs it before I do, finally pulling himself off me, to look at the number.

He looks a little disappointed as he touches the screen.

"Hey Mom." I can tell it's an effort for him not to sound out of breath. His arm is still pinned beneath my back, his touch sending me to distraction.

"Uh-huh," he says, trying to wriggle away as my fingers inch along the
waist band of his jeans. He throws me a look that's supposed to be stern, but ends up just being adorable.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll be home in a minute."

As soon as he hangs up, I let out a groan. With a soft chuckle, he kisses my chin, then runs his lips down my neck. My skin is just starting to zing again when he whispers in my ear. "Another time. I promise."

I glance into his eyes. He's never said anything like that to me before. Those four little words mean so much. Is he serious? They're dancing with a truth that is delicious.

I prop myself on my elbows so he can slide his arm free. He sits on the edge of the bed, facing me. His hand slides up my thigh. I love how reluctant he is to leave. I give him a sexy grin. He kind of whines in his throat and I can see what an effort it is for him to stand up and move off the bed.

"You want to come back later?"

He picks the Columbia letter off the floor. "I better not. My sister's just arrived with the kids. You want to come over?"

I shake my head. "I'm too blotchy."

He grins, leaning down to kiss my puffy eyes. "They'll like you blotchy."

"Forget it." I push his shoulder so he'll stand up. I've only met Rachel once and there's no way I'm hanging out with his gorgeous sister looking like this.

"Okay," he says with a sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

I watch him walk to the door, my insides flying with that giddy floaty feeling. The one where you're so happy you might pass out.

Dale pauses at the door, tapping the letter against the frame. Digging the edge into the join, he glances at me with a soft smile. "By the way..." he licks his bottom lip. "I love you too."

I think my heart just stopped beating.

What did he say?

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and grip the edge, trying for a casual laugh. It comes out like this weird cackle. I swallow it down and look at him. "I...I never said I love you."

Pulling the letter free, he waves it in the air. "Yeah, you did."

I'm going to drown in the expression on his face right now. I match it with one of my own and he eases out the door with this goofy grin that will stay in my brain all night. I slump back onto my pillow feeling euphoric. If I float to the ceiling right now, I won't even be surprised.

I hear the front door open and wait for it to close behind Dale, but there's a pause.

"I love you, Nicole Tepper!"

A giggle rushes between my lips. My voice is quivering as I shout back, "I love you, Dale Finnigan!"

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