Authors: Christine Michels
Oh, God, what had she done? Her heart constricted with pain and she stifled another sob, this one for Samson.
"Ashes to ashes," the reverend intoned. "Dust to dust.” The hollow sound of a clump of dirt hitting the coffin drew Delilah's eyes and thoughts back where they ought to be at a time like this. Reverend Duncan said another prayer and then the mourners began to slowly move away. She refused to watch, refused to watch Samson walk away from her. It would be too painful, symbolic though it might be.
The church ladies had organized a supper at the town hall on behalf of those mourners who'd come from greater distances, and this was where everyone would head now. Delilah dreaded attending with Eve, though she knew it was obligatory. The thought of making polite conversation and the possibility of running into Samson were both extremely frightening prospects in her current state of mind. Nevertheless, she looked at Eve. "Are you ready to go?" she queried softly.
Eve shook her head. "Just a few more minutes please.” She looked at the Devil's Fork hands who waited uncertainly for her. "You go on to the hall and have something to eat if you like. I'll be along shortly."
"Yes, ma'am," Wright and Stone murmured simultaneously.
As soon as they'd moved off, she turned her attention to the two men in denim overalls and chambray shirts who'd stood back from the mourners while they waited to complete their job of filling in the grave. "Before you. . . fill it in, could I have a few moments of privacy please?"
They nodded, uncomfortable as men always are when faced with a grieving woman. "Sure thing, ma'am," the older one murmured before backing off to a discreet distance. "You take yer time."
"Would you like me to stay Mrs. Cameron?" Reverend Duncan asked.
Eve shook her head. "No. It's all right.” And then as though afraid she may have offended him, she offered him her hand. "But I do want to thank you, Reverend. It was a beautiful service."
Reverend Duncan accepted her hand and nodded, though a slight frown settled between his brows. He glanced questioningly at Delilah but since she didn't understand the precise nature of his concern, she could offer him no assurances. "You're quite welcome, ma'am," he said to Eve. Worn bible in hand, he began to walk away, trailing after the other mourners, and then abruptly he stopped and turned to face Eve once more. "You're sure you'll be all right, ma'am?"
Eve nodded. "I'll be fine," she said softly. "If I need anything, my sister will be with me."
Reverend Duncan looked at Delilah and she received the impression that he wasn't all that certain that she could offer Eve what she needed. Delilah's spine stiffened as she stared back at him, meeting his gaze boldly. Then finally, his expression softened. He nodded and turned away.
Delilah gripped Eve's elbow to support her and moved with her sister nearer to the grave-side. For the longest time, Eve simply stared down at the pine coffin, her face as expressionless as though it had been carved from stone. And then, with an abruptness that startled Delilah, Eve's legs crumpled and she fell to her knees. The first sob convulsed her entire body. Delilah dropped to her side to cradle her against her shoulder as the pain Eve had been holding inside suddenly erupted, breaching the walls of her defenses to free a deluge of healing tears. Eve crumbled against her as great choking sobs gripped her body in a paroxysm of grief.
When the storm was over, Eve dried her eyes and said good-bye to her husband for the last time. "I won't cry for you again Tom," she murmured. "I have to run our ranch alone now, and there's no more time for grieving. I still don't understand the decision you made, though I know you said that you didn't regret it. I suppose though that I've finally accepted it. Perhaps it will stop hurting some day. Good-bye darling. I'll visit you when I'm in town.” Pulling a daisy from a batch of wildflowers that someone had left at the grave-site, she dropped it down onto the coffin.
Rising then, she looked at Delilah, at the tears brimming in her eyes and hugged her. "Don't cry for me, Delilah. I'm all right now. I don't want you to worry about me. All right?"
"I'll always worry about you Evie. You're my sister and I love you.” She sniffed. "But I think you've grown into a strong woman and I won't worry about you nearly as much as I used to."
Eve released her, nodded and almost smiled. "I guess I can accept that."
* * *
Eve, being the perceptive person that she was, had sensed by noon the next day that something was bothering Delilah other than Tom's demise. Upon returning to Delilah's room after lunch, she'd wanted to know what it was. Delilah stared at her and couldn't bring herself to tell her. To tell Eve about the situation she now found herself in, she would have to tell her why she'd acted as she had. And nothing about her reasoning had been admirable. Fear of the sheriff's determined pursuit of her had been only part of the reason—and, perhaps, it had been the most understandable. But Eve would not thank Delilah for saving her ranch at the possible expense of a man's life. Especially a man whom she liked and respected.
"It's nothing Evie. I won't burden you with my problems at a time when you have so many of your own."
"You're sure?"
Delilah nodded. She would bear this horrible guilt alone, and pray that when she finally found the opportunity to finish the letter to Samson he would still have time to evade Telford's men. It was Thursday now. She had sent the telegram on Monday. If they rode hard, or came part of the way by train, Telford's men could be almost here. The thought terrified her.
"Well I have to get back to the ranch," Eve was saying. "I might as well go back with the hands. I think the ranch is the best place for me right now. I miss it."
Her words suddenly penetrated Delilah's numbed mind. "Already?" she asked. "But. . . would you like me to come with you until you're feeling more yourself?"
Eve shook her head. "I'm going to be working most of the time anyway. And Fong is there to run the household. I want you to worry about yourself for a change, Delilah. I want you to find someplace you can be happy, and with any luck
someone
with whom to share that happiness. I want you to try to forget the past and Sterne and everything that happened to us back then, and start to live again. Will you do that?"
Delilah stared at her. "I didn't know you. . . ” She trailed off, uncertain as to how to finish. Never before had Eve adopted the role of the caretaker. Never had Eve given her advice or told her what her opinion was of Delilah's personal life. Never had Eve shown she understood quite so much as that simple statement revealed. It brought tears to Delilah's eyes.
"You didn't know I what?"
"Understood," Delilah breathed. "I didn't know how much you understood."
"I've always understood, Delilah. And I've always felt guilty for not fighting harder to help you."
Delilah was stricken to learn that her younger sister had been suffering on her behalf. "Oh, Evie. Why should you feel guilty? You tried to help. It wasn't your fault. He knocked you unconscious. There was nothing you could have done."
Eve shrugged. "I could have fetched some kind of a weapon before I tried to help. I could have done something besides simply jumping on his back and pounding his shoulders with my fists."
Delilah hugged her. "You were only fifteen, Eve. Fifteen! You have nothing to feel guilty for. Please don't blame yourself."
Avoiding Delilah's gaze, Eve released her and turned to look out the window. "I'll try not to, if you'll promise me you'll think about what I've said. It's time to put the past behind you and start to live again, Delilah. Please?"
"I promise I'll think about it," Delilah said.
"Good!” With a forced smile, Eve turned back to her. "And now, it's time for me to go. Write to me?"
"You know I will."
"You'll be leaving Red Rock right away?” Delilah nodded and Eve asked, "Where will you go this time?"
Delilah shrugged. She hadn't really thought about anything except getting away. "Colorado perhaps. I hear the scenery there is almost as beautiful as it is here."
Minutes later, Delilah stood on the boardwalk watching as Eve mounted a tough old buckskin mare that Rattlesnake Joe had brought to town, and took her leave of Red Rock to return to the Devil's Fork ranch.
Her
ranch. Rattlesnake drove the buckboard wagon that Eve had driven into town carrying Tom, and the other hands trailed out behind them. They made a strange and solemn procession as they left Red Rock: a lady rancher, an old man, an Indian, a Chinaman, a drunk, and. . . the solitary man who called himself Stone, whoever he might be. And yet, as Delilah stood outside the hotel and watched her sister ride away, for the first time in memory she was not worried about her, for something told her that Eve would be fine.
"I've been trying to get a chance to talk to you for days," a deep voice said from behind her, making her jump. "Will you join me for supper tonight? I hear Freda's making cabbage rolls."
Samson! Delilah closed her eyes and swallowed. "I. . . uh. . ."
"Come on. It's just a meal, and you have to eat."
Yes, she did. And perhaps she could simply tell him about what she'd done. She didn't want to, but she had to admit that the letter was a coward's way out. And she'd never before considered herself a coward. "All right," she murmured turning to face him. At sight of his handsome face her heart gave a peculiar lurch and the bottom fell out of her stomach.
He smiled, and her pulse began a double-time cadence. "Good," he said. "I'll pick you up at seven."
Delilah nodded. "All right."
He hesitated a moment as though there was something more he wanted to say, and then he shook his head. "Well, I guess I'd best be going. Judge Niven's in town and we have some business to take care of."
Delilah nodded again. "Later then."
She watched him walk away knowing that the next time he did so it would be for good, and her heart ached for what might have been. "Afternoon, Mrs. Sterne," a loud voice called from the street.
Startled, Delilah turned to heed the greeting and realized that it had been delivered by Mr. Didsworth who was driving his freight wagon, loaded high with merchandise, through town. "Good afternoon, sir," Delilah returned. "Are you just arriving or just leaving?"
"Arriving, ma'am. I'll be headin' out agin in the mornin'."
Providence! Delilah decided. She'd go see Mrs. Francis at the telegraph office and see if she could book a seat on a train out of Butte late tomorrow. Then she'd book a seat on Mr. Didsworth's freight wagon, returning to Butte. He would be leaving bright and early in the morning she knew, for that was his routine. Oh, and in the morning, she'd have to see Mr. Metter regarding Jackpot. The funds she received for selling the horse back to him would aid with travel expenses.
Thus it was, that Delilah had a busy afternoon. Her final stop was the Lucky Strike. She couldn't very well leave town without saying farewell to the only woman, other than Freda Schmidt, who had befriended her during her stay. Delilah waved to Mitch on her way past the bar and asked, "Is Miss Cora in her office?"
"Yes, ma'am."
A second later, Delilah knocked on the office door. "Come in," Cora said in her low-pitched musical voice. Then as Delilah opened the door, a genuine smile. "Delilah! Come in. I've been thinking about you. How are you?"
"I'm fine," Delilah said, returning her smile albeit a bit less widely.
"Please sit," Cora said, indicating one of the chairs before her desk. "Eve headed back to the Devil's Fork already, I hear."
"Yes. Actually that's why I'm here. I've come to say good-bye and to apologize to you for the fact that the gaming table was less prosperous for you than I had hoped it would be."
Cora waved her apology aside. "No need to apologize. An honest dealer can't make guarantees, and you
were
honest. Besides, I made more on that table than I would have if you hadn't come at all, now didn't I? But I'm really sorry to hear you're leaving. Are you certain I can't talk you into staying a while? Red Rock's not a bad place to live you know."
Delilah shook her head. "No. I can't stay. I have to get away."
Cora considered her with a grave expression. "That sounds like man trouble. Anything I can help with?"
"No. But thank you."
Cora grimaced. "Darn that Matt Chambers! I knew the way he was chasing you he was just going to break your heart."
Delilah's gaze flew up to meet Cora's. "Oh, no. It's not Matt's fault. It's mine.” After what she'd done, she couldn't bear to have anyone think badly of him.
"Yours," Cora repeated incredulously. "What did you do?” Her tone suggested complete disbelief. "Except try to avoid him, that is?"
"Yes, well. . . in trying to avoid him I did something. . . unforgivable. I betrayed . . ." but she couldn't bring herself to voice the extent of her perfidy so she changed tack. "I betrayed his trust and the trust of everyone who befriended me.” And then, to her horror, tears of self-pity welled in her eyes again. Oh, Lord! She didn't want to cry in front of Cora.
But it was too late.
Cora quickly rose and moved around the desk to sit beside Delilah. Placing an arm around her shoulders, she handed her a clean handkerchief and murmured, "You just let it out love, and then we'll talk. There's always a way to fix things. We just have to find it."