Beyond Chance (20 page)

“Would it be bad if I never left this room?”
I asked, sliding my bag off my shoulder.

He growled a little and brought me into his
arms.

“I think that would be a dream come true,”
he laughed. “The chef should be here any minute to begin dinner or
you’d be mine right now.”

“Is that so?” I giggled, feeling his
whiskers tickle my neck as he nuzzled me.

“It is so.” He stepped back and let out a
deep breath. “I can never get enough of you.”

I smiled and reveled in this moment that
seemed so unlike anything I’d ever experienced or even dared to
dream about. Looking around the room, seeing the plaster walls and
exposed timbers above, I truly felt like I’d been dropped into a
fantasy world. Any instant, I thought I should run to the window
and Rapunzel myself to the world.

“You always know what I need,” I whispered,
shaking my head. “This is incredible and so thoughtful. I can see
how easy it will be to forget about the trial.”

“I’ll confess that I’ve been a little
nervous with everything working out as far as timing. I thought it
would be nice if we were disconnected a little during the trial
because it’s truly out of our hands.”

I nodded as relief spread through me. He was
absolutely right. Everything was out of my control. There was no
sense in spending time worrying.

“So you want to tell me what that was about
in the car earlier? You don’t usually have a physical reaction to
someone’s name.”

“I had no idea I did until you mentioned
it.” I smiled and walked over to the bed.

I scooted onto the mattress and patted the
comforter.

Aaron’s expression lit up, and he shook his
head, his lip curling up. “Boy, we really are wearing off on each
other. No matter how much I want to, I’m not falling for your
traps, Ms. Rhodes. Answer the question, and we’ll see where that
leads us.”

“You know…” I pressed my lips together and
chose my words carefully. “It takes all kinds of people to make the
world go around.”

“That it does.” Aaron pulled a chair away
from the wall and sat down. He flashed a dubious grin and waited
for me to continue.

“I’ve got thick skin, and I honestly don’t
want to give her or the situation the time of day. I’m in a
wonderful chateau in the middle of France with the man I love. My
best friends are coming to Paris next week and that’s really all
that matters. Life is good, and I don’t want to waste a second
longer on something or someone who’s just not for me.”

Aaron leaned back in the chair and stretched
his legs out in front of him, making the chair look even tinier
compared to his long, lean body. I couldn’t help but imagine the
things I wanted to do to that body, but the doorbell rang.

“Must be the chef. I’ll grab the door and
get him settled before I bring our bags up. But seriously, I want
to know what made your skin crawl. I feel like you’re not telling
me something quite important.”

“Who me?” I grinned. “Everything’s totally
fine.”

“Sure it is.” He walked out of the room, and
my body fell into the comforter as I thought about what to tell
Aaron. I didn’t want to bring up anything that happened with Tracy,
and I was totally disappointed in myself for having an involuntary
reaction to her name. I’d have to work on that, especially before
Aaron’s show opened.

I got back up and dug in my purse for my
phone. I saw a couple texts from Gabby and my mom. The messages
must have come over while we were parking downstairs. It didn’t
look like I’d be able to answer them because we had no cell
service. My mother had decided—against my father’s wishes—to attend
the trial. She gave me a rundown of the initial arguments for both
sides, and her thoughts on how long the trial was going to run. Her
guess was five or six days. Though surprised by the interviews I
gave, she thought they showed sincerity versus the pure
sensationalist garbage that Derek had been striving for. Whenever
it was that my mom wrote the text, they were on a recess. I really
wanted to text my mom back to thank her for the heads up, but I’d
have to wait for Aaron for that. I was glad we were somewhat
disconnected, but I hoped we had wireless.

I heard the chef in the kitchen banging pots
and pans around as the sounds of Aaron’s footsteps bounced off the
wooden steps.

“So have you given more thought about
telling me what’s making you so uncomfortable with Tracy?” Aaron
asked, as he walked back into the bedroom.

I hadn’t actually, but I did see this as a
perfect opportunity to bring up last night’s phone call and
text.

“How about if you tell me whose call you had
to take last night at dinner, I’ll tell you a little bit about my
thoughts on Tracy.”

Aaron grunted and sat back down on the
chair. “You play dirty.”

“I’m not playing dirty, but I certainly
could. Come on give it to me.”

His mouth pulled up slightly on the corner
and he shook his head. “It was a call from my father.”

“Your dad?”

He nodded and let out a sigh, knowing what
was coming next.

“What made you rush out of the
restaurant?”

Aaron began tapping his fingertips on his
knee and narrowed his eyes, studying me closely. “Brandy, I love
you more than life itself. You make me want to be the best I can be
for us and for our future…” his voice trailed off.

“But?” I prompted.

“But I’m not happy. I haven’t been for quite
a long time.”

It felt like I’d had a knife right to my
heart. What did he mean he wasn’t happy? From the moment I touched
down in France, my life had felt completely out of step. As I
looked at Aaron, I saw the same look I noticed the night before. It
was the same expression I’d brushed off over the last couple
months, thinking he was just nervous about his exhibition. If only
I’d stopped obsessing about my issues and paused to hear about his,
maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation where the world was coming
down around us.

My shoulders slumped as our eyes connected.
All the oxygen in the room vanished as I attempted my next breath.
Nothing was right about this moment. We were supposed to be happy.
I was happy. I thought he was happy. And then a question tumbled
out of my mouth before I even had a chance to stop it, but my heart
ached too much to keep it in.

“Did Elizabeth know you were unhappy?” I
whispered.

Aaron’s expression fell. “She knew I was
feeling unsettled, but I didn’t talk to her about anything in great
detail, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

I felt gutted as I sat on the bed. Details
or not, she knew more than I did, and that wasn’t how things were
supposed to work. That wasn’t how we were supposed to work.

“I don’t know what I’m wondering. I’m torn.
I’m hurt. I want to make things better. I want you to be happy. I
thought I made you happy,” I said, not wavering on one
syllable.

Heightened sensitivity hovered in the air
between us, and I dropped my gaze to the hardwood floors. One false
move on his part and I’d break down. One wrong word from me and
he’d probably wish he’d never said a word. Speaking with Elizabeth
rather than me was unsettling, but what concerned me more was why
he wasn’t happy. At least Elizabeth and I had something in common.
We both thought his behavior was because of nerves. As I took deep,
steady breaths, I prayed I’d find the right words because only the
wrong ones were flooding my mind. I needed to stay in control of my
emotions.

“You do make me happy,” he said, his voice
low and full of trepidation.

I steadied my gaze on his and felt the tears
begin to prick my eyelids as he stood up quickly from the chair and
bolted toward me. Bending on one knee, he slipped his arms around
my waist and drew me next to his body, but it was too late. The
tears were already streaming down my face. How had I been so
blind?

Aaron’s hands cradled the back of my head as
the tears continued to fall. The wetness soaked his shirt, but I
couldn’t move. I stayed in his arms, hoping this nightmare would be
over.

“I don’t understand. I thought we were
happy. I thought being here was what you wanted,” I sniffed.

“So did I.”

I slowly raised my head, and he used his
thumbs to wipe away the dampness on my cheeks as I tried to
comprehend what was going so desperately wrong in my world.

“So where do we go from here?” I asked. It
felt as if my voice was disconnected from my mind and heart.

He continued kneeling in front of me and
took both of my hands as I tried to imagine my life without Aaron
in it. Did he need time to explore and find happiness or was it
more complicated?

He let out a deep breath and held my hands
tightly. “I think for now we should take it one step at a
time.”

I shook my head. “I can’t take something
like this one step at a time. I need to know what to expect. The
thought of you not in my life is more—”

“Wait. What?” Aaron asked, his voice filled
with urgency. He stood up quickly and scooted me over on the bed.
“I’m not going anywhere. That’s not what I meant.”

“But if you’re not happy, I don’t want to
hold you back.”

Aaron let out a groan and slid his hands
over his face as he blew air out of his mouth. “This was not how I
imagined tonight going,” he said, dropping his hands to his
side.

“I’ve felt that way pretty much from the
moment I arrived in France.”

Aaron nodded as his eyes fastened on mine.
“Brandy, if you weren’t in my life, I’d be miserable. I’m in love
with you, all of you, everything about you...Every single thing I
do in my life is for you and because of you. Waking up without you
these last few weeks was horrid. I’d turn over and the sheets were
cold and there wasn’t your beautiful face waiting there, giving me
that gorgeous morning smile like you do. I wouldn’t want to imagine
my life without you in it. I think it would be a wretched, lonely
life.”

I shook my head as his hands locked with
mine. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m a pretty simple guy. I know precisely
what’s making me unhappy. But I didn’t want to let you down. I’ve
realized if I don’t tell you the worse it will get. I had planned
on waiting until after the show to explain things, but as usual,
things have a habit of spiraling out of control in our lives.”

“Don’t they,” I said.

He nodded. “I’ve been in contact with my
father because I miss my old job. I miss the challenge and solving
problems every day. I miss being in the business world.”

“What about your sculptures?” I asked.

“It used to be a way for me to cope with
life. I’d take out my pain and anger on the metal. When the weight
of my history was crushing, I’d channel the frustration into my
metalworking. It was therapeutic. What I realized recently was that
it was a hobby. Once it changed to something more, it lost the
appeal for me. You’re the person I go to when I’m feeling down.
You’re the one there for me to pick me up when I’m frustrated or
sad. I don’t have that same connection to my art. I don’t need my
art like I need you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. You
were so proud of my work and all the acclaim I started receiving, I
didn’t want to disappoint you. Brandy, I mean it when I say you’re
my everything. I want to make you happy, but I realized that in
order to do so, I need to make sure I’m content with where my life
is at.”

“I can’t believe it,” I whispered, shaking
my head.

“Are you disappointed?” he asked.

“Not in the slightest. I can’t believe you
didn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t really realize it until recently.
It seemed like a great idea. I wasn’t doing it for money, and I
hadn’t planned on things taking off the way they did.”

“Your work is gorgeous. You’re talented.
There’s no question about it, but if it isn’t satisfying any
longer, I completely understand.”

“You’ll get over not dating an artist?” he
teased.

“I might make you put on the welders’ mask
every once in a while, but I’ll get over it.”

His laughter boomed through the air and I
smiled. I wasn’t kidding, but that was for him to find out at
another time.

Feeling like the weight of the world had
been lifted, I sat back on my hands and stretched my body. In the
last hour, my world went from one extreme to the other and now all
I wanted was to spend the rest of our time in Paris without drama.
Something about this trip had to change.

“So what have you and your father been
talking about?” I asked. “Are we going to China?”

Aaron grinned. “Not with law school
starting. Thankfully, my father noticed how good I am at what I do,
and he is willing to work with me anyway I need just to get me back
to the company.”