Beyond Clueless (13 page)

Then everyone lumbered over to grab metal folding chairs from a rolling rack by the far wall. The door opened, and Mrs. Murray backed into the room, pulling a rickety, old-school TV stand into the room. Sister Mary Alice emerged from behind it, and she helped guide the television toward the front of the room. “Oh, heavens, this is heavy. Thank you, Nancy.”

Jenny ushered Jimmy and Oliver to the back of the room with her usual officiousness. Felix was seated in the row just in front of me, and we exchanged a few shy glances before he finally turned to face forward.

I leaned back in my chair and looked around the room at the other actors. Maria Kilkenny was whispering away with this tall girl named Penelope, who was cast as the Baker’s Wife, so Derek would be having lots of scenes with her. (Actually, the Baker’s Wife is probably the biggest role in the whole musical, but people always seem to forget about it, because she’s not a famous fairy-tale character.) Then there was a clump of three guys—Jason, Kirk, and Foster—who would be playing the Narrator, Rapunzel’s Prince, and Jack. They were all from a town not too far from Our Lady of the Oaks, and so far they were pretty shy around all us girls. Glamorous Kate O’Day, who was Cinderella, was sitting right in the front, notebook and pen ready. Short and friendly Mr. Gonzalez, one of the cooks from the cafeteria, had been recruited by Sister Mary Alice to play
Cinderella’s Father, since he only had a couple of lines in the whole play and it wasn’t worth bringing in some guy from another school for the role. This would be the last time we saw him, though, until dress rehearsals. He hovered near the back of the room, just in front of the gaggle of three girls—Jenna, Madison, and Emma—who would be playing Cinderella’s Stepmother and Stepsisters. They were also with Chloe, who would be playing Jack’s Mother. I was sitting next to Daisy, who was playing Cinderella’s Mother and the King’s Guard. (Normally the guard is a male role, but, well, it’s a girls’ school, and there’s not much to either role.) I smiled at her as people settled in, and she beamed back at me. “This is so exciting!” she whispered.

“I know, right?”

This play was going to
rock
.

More likely, I was feeling all dreamy because my lips were numb with prickly pleasure. In fact, I could swear they were actually swelling—is that a thing? Does that happen to everyone, every time they kiss? Are people walking around in a constant state of lip puffiness? And I couldn’t help staring at the back of Felix’s head. Who knew the back of someone’s head could be so interesting?

Sister Mary Alice popped a DVD into the player on the TV stand and finally turned to address us. “Ah, my intrepid crew of thespians!”

Meanwhile, Mrs. Murray double-fisted the remote controls, trying to get the screen to work. I looked back at Jimmy, who made a funny, bewildered face at me. In response, I covered my eyes with one hand, in mock shame.

OK, so things weren’t
that
weird between us because of the kiss.

“This will be your easiest rehearsal,” Sister continued, heading over to the light switch. “You don’t have to do a thing. Today we’re just going to watch the original Broadway production from 1987 so we know exactly what we’ve gotten ourselves into.” She chuckled. “On second thought, this might be the most difficult rehearsal. I assure you, I will
not
accept any resignations after the screening.”

The lights dimmed, the show began, and I sat there, watching the blue light of the television caress the silhouette of the head in front of me.

Lights, camera,
action
.

S
o then, after the movie/rehearsal ended, Felix and I went into an empty classroom and had hot monkey sex.

*snort*

Yeah, not quite. Sister Mary Alice turned off the TV once the credits came up, then started going through the different roles, explaining what she saw to be the main challenges for each actor.

“Martha,” she eventually said, turning to me, “I think the role of Little Red Riding Hood is one of the hardest.”

Oh, crap.

She continued, “True, she does seem pretty simple and straightforward, and she gets to deliver some of the funniest lines. But unlike all the other roles, Little Red doesn’t have a clear trajectory that makes sense to me. Normally, a character wants something, so they go and get it. Along the way they make choices, have regrets, learn something about themselves and the world. But in your case, you’re stuck between being a child and an adult.”

I swallowed. The way she kept saying
you
made it all sound weirdly personal.

“I’m not sure what you want, other than the occasional
sweet,” Sister continued, shaking her head. “After your encounter with the wolf, you learn about naïveté and protection, so you do seem to grow up. But in the second act you become orphaned, and you’re still very vulnerable. The trick for you will be to make that believable. I want the audience to understand that even when you seem most sophisticated and most confident, you’re actually totally outside of your comfort zone, that it’s all just bluster. That’s the only way you’ll have our sympathy later on, when you really need help. No easy feat for any actor.”

Then, after what seemed like an unusually long moment of me nodding back at her, Sister turned to Maria Kilkenny. “Now, the Witch is a whole other story . . .”

OK, I thought to myself, I can do this.

And, actually, I was eager for the real rehearsals to start. Acting is fun! I mean, I think it’s really weird that as kids we’re constantly pretending to be someone or something else, and then suddenly we all grow up, and the only place we can keep playing is onstage. Doesn’t that seem . . . wrong? I feel like everyone should be in theater.

Sister continued with her character breakdowns, and when she got to Derek, he tensed up and flushed.

“The Baker, in my view, is the hero of this show,” she said, clasping and reclasping her hands. “Yes, he ends up protecting the children and defeating the Giant’s Wife. But really it’s his struggle with right and wrong that makes him heroic to me. And, like all of us, he doesn’t always get it right.”

Sister paused and took a deep breath. “Now, Derek.”
Derek swallowed audibly. “I know you’re not used to being onstage. But you have a great talent, and I don’t want you to hide your light under a bushel.”

(I think Sister may have forgotten that people at secular schools don’t necessarily get Bible references, but if Derek was confused, he didn’t let on.)

She continued. “Your challenge will be to
use
your insecurity about being onstage. I want you to embrace it and channel it into your character. The Baker is insecure about everything, from the second scene onward. Everything he thought was right and good and proper is turned upside down. His whole world becomes upended with disappointment and betrayal and grief. And he, like us, comes out stronger at the end. He learns, and we as an audience learn along with him. So, in many ways the play rests on your shoulders.”

Derek couldn’t have looked more pained. Sister chuckled at the sight of him and walked over to pat him on the shoulder. “Don’t you worry, you’ll be fine. We’ll make sure of it.”

When “rehearsal” was over, and everyone was busy folding their chairs and returning them to the racks along the back wall, Felix pulled me aside, far from the others.

“About before, I’m sorry if I—”

“What? No, don’t be sorry!” I said quickly. “I mean, there’s really nothing to be sorry about. It was all good.”
All good?
“You know, it was, well, a moment. Or whatever.”

Oh, Marty, shut up, just shut up. But I couldn’t stop: “Really, it’s no biggie.”

You know, like I make out with cute boys
all the time
. Make-out Marty, that’s my name!

Felix looked up at the ceiling with a pained expression, then said, “It’s just that maybe it wasn’t a good idea.”

WHAT?

Oh, God. My scalp tensed up, preparing for The Worst Thing Ever Imaginable.

He must have seen my terrified expression, because he stepped closer and put a hand on my arm. “No, no, no, no, no, don’t get me wrong! It was a
great
idea! I just . . . I think we should try to keep this between us. Under wraps.”

“I wasn’t going to . . . I mean . . . ,” I stammered.

“Plays like this one, they can be really intense. And I don’t want people to be weirded out that we’re, like,
you know
, and to be talking about us all the time.”

I opened my mouth to say something—honestly, I had no idea what it would be—but he rushed in again. “Don’t get me wrong! I want us to,
you know
. But maybe not, like, in everyone’s faces. I’m just worried that it’ll make things strange and complicated. I’ve seen that happen before, and the whole fishbowl thing can really screw it up. You know?”

He looked at me searchingly, almost desperately, and I felt my whole body unclench. After the awkwardness of seeing Jimmy see us kiss, it wasn’t like I was looking forward to more PDA. “No worries,” I said, relaxing into an easy smile.

“I just think we’ve got something here, and I don’t want to mess it up.” He didn’t seem convinced that I understood him, and it was touching to see how worried he looked.

“Felix. It’s OK,” I said. Now it was my turn to reach out and rub his arm (the muscle!). “What we do together, well, it’s nobody’s business.”

Now, how cool was I?
Finally
, for once I had said the exact right thing to him. And it was true: This was nobody’s sweet business but
ours
.

Then we just sort of grinned at each other for another lingering second before Felix turned and walked off.

Moments later, Jimmy materialized in front of me. “You,” he exclaimed, wild-eyed. “And . . .
that guy
!” Jimmy flailed his other arm toward the door.

I snapped my fingers in a sassy arc. “Damn straight.”

He was giving me an appraising look, clearly impressed. “I can
not
believe this. Seriously. Well played, Sullivan. Ten points for Gryffindor!”

“But, Jimmy, you can’t tell anyone. Swear.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I really don’t want people talking about it. Trust me, it’ll make the whole play weird if everyone knows we’re together. So keep it to yourself. Got it?”

Jimmy huffed and rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious. Not even Derek.”

I could see the wheels turning in Jimmy’s head. Could he and I still have secrets, or would he run to tell Derek any little thing I told him? I was testing how he would handle
this, and he knew it. And he knew I knew it. And I knew he knew I—yeah, well, you get the picture.

“Fine,” he finally said, waving the issue away with his hand. “Whatever. But I am still in
total shock
over this.”

“I know,” I said—OK, squealed.

Jimmy put his arm around my shoulders as we walked out of Rehearsal Room A.

“Aww, my little Marty. They grow up so fast, don’t they!”

“Ugh, finally, it’s Friday!” Xiang’s peach-colored plastic lunch tray clattered onto the table across from me.

“I know. It’s been such a long, crazy week, hasn’t it?” I asked. I mean, it really had been, what with the callbacks on Monday, the anxiety over getting cast in the musical, Xiang going practically nympho, then the Big Kiss last night—how much more could happen?

Xiang eyed me, noting the chipper tone in my voice. Suddenly her hand slammed down onto the table, rattling the tableware. “You didn’t!” she exclaimed.

I snapped a celery stick in two. “Did. Too.”

Xiang made a high-pitched “eep” sound.

Yes, it’s true: This was turning out to be the worst-kept secret ever. But I figured, what’s one more person? I mean, Xiang had totally overshared her own romance, and she totally knew that Felix was into me anyway, so it was only fair to reciprocate.

“Oh. My. God.” She shook her head. “Wow.”

“Hey, now—don’t be getting the wrong idea,” I said, suddenly
unnerved by the smirk she was giving me. “We kissed. That’s all.”

Her smirk stayed firmly in place. “Well, well, well. You wanton slut.”

“Thank you,” I said regally, waving a half celery stick at her in a twirling, bowing motion. “But it’s very hush-hush, since we don’t want to freak out the rest of the cast. So
no telling anyone
.”

“Ooooooh, a
secret
romance! The plot thickens!”

I let myself do a little bouncy dance in my chair. “Can you
believe
it?
Felix friggin’ Peroni!
Mall Guy! Things like this aren’t supposed to happen in real life!”

“So he’ll make an honest woman out of you after the play closes? You’ll make it official and announce it to the world?”

“Yeah, I guess. Although, honestly, I don’t think this secret is one we’ll be able to keep for long.”

Xiang snorted. “No, apparently not.”

“You shut up. But I can’t stop thinking about him! I think I totally failed the algebra quiz this morning. I can’t focus.”

Xiang nodded in sympathy. “Yeah, you probably shouldn’t operate heavy machinery, either.”

“Right. Noted.” I sighed, still swaying happily in my seat. “So. You comin’ tonight?”