Beyond Clueless (21 page)

“They look really good,” I said, smiling.

“Yeah, you make a great cover girl,” he said with a wink.

“Oh, stop.”

“They kept delaying the article because the administration
didn’t want to publish the results, but they managed to do it in the end.”

“That’s awesome,” I said. Maybe it was the golden light of dusk, but I felt that the whole world was vibrating with goodness, with promise, somehow.

We soon parked by the bluffs with a view of the lake. The sun was just over the horizon to our left, so I couldn’t see his shadowed expression in the glare.

“So. Lake Erie,” he said.

“Yup.” I nodded. “Lake Erie.” The moment hung there to be savored.

“Come on, let’s feel it,” I said, breaking the spell and launching us out of the car.

We stood in the bracing autumn wind and looked out over the dark expanse of water before us. It seemed as if the whole lake was slowly rocking back and forth with every wave.

Oliver placed his hand over mine, and I leaned against his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said. Our fingers intertwined.

“Me, too,” I said. “Me, too.”

A
t home, I had an e-mail from Jimmy waiting for me in my inbox:
Call me!!

Dutiful as always, I dialed his number. It rang four or five times before a girl’s voice answered, “
Klausau!
”

I was flabbergasted. “Uh, is this—did I dial—uh, Jimmy?”

“
Aišku, aš nesu Jimmy
.”

Wait a minute. I knew that voice. “Jeanie? Is that you?”

Silence.

“Jeanie, please give Jimmy back his phone.”

I heard fumbling, then Jimmy’s voice in the background. “Give it! Now get out!”

“Sorry,” he said, breathing heavily. “Jeanie got to my phone before I did.”

“Was she speaking some kind of . . .?”

“Yeah, she’s teaching herself Lithuanian. Don’t ask,” he said irritably. “So what’s up?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one who summoned me,” I reminded him.

“Oh! Right!” he said, surprisingly chipper. “We need to talk. I was talking to Derek earlier, and he told me the most
interesting
thing.”

Oh, Lord. More about Derek? Really? Was he just going to act like things hadn’t been weird between us?

“And where were you, by the way?” he continued. “I called before, and your parents said you were at rehearsal. But you and I both know
that’s
not true.”

“Oliver got his license today, and we went for an inaugural drive to Lake Erie.”

There was a long pause. “Lake Erie?”

“Yeah. Lake Erie,” I said, smiling at the memory. “Oliver is a really interesting guy. Did you know that his mom ran out on his family when he was little? And that he actually started the gay club they’re in at Weeksburg High?”

There was another long pause.

“What? Jimmy, are you still there?”

“Look, I’m just gonna say it. Why didn’t you tell me you were going?”

Oh, man.
Was Jimmy jealous of Oliver?

Ugh, it all made sense: Jimmy thought Oliver was becoming my new GBF! That explained Jimmy’s extra-frostiness when he’d walked in on me and Oliver at the snack machine. He thought I was replacing him with a cuter model. One with a driver’s license, no less.

“The drive was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. It wasn’t, like, planned.”

“Right. But planned enough to lie to your parents about it.”

“That was because I was
supposed
to go out with Felix.”

“Oh, really! Well! That’s news. And then you decided to go out with Oliver instead. And telling me about any of these things didn’t even cross your mind.”

“It wasn’t like that. Felix—”

“Look,” he said. “If this is how you want things to be, fine. I just thought we were better friends than that. Stupid me.”

I sighed, and thought, OH, MY GOD, HE IS SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN.

“You’re blowing things way out of proportion,” I said, annoyed that I had to humor his need for affirmation. “We
are
good friends. We’re
best
friends.”

“It’s not feeling like it.”

Oh, Lord. “Well, it should. Now. Tell me what interesting thing Derek told you earlier.”

Jimmy snorted. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. It’s fine.”

Click
.

There was that word again—
fine
. Clearly, it was anything but.

Something strange had happened tonight: I wasn’t sure where my loyalties were anymore. I mean, despite this stupid fight, Jimmy would always be my oldest friend. But already I felt that Oliver was perhaps becoming . . . a closer friend? Somehow I acted different when I was alone with Oliver, in a way that felt deeper, more genuine. Maybe I was growing up, and my relationship with Jimmy remained stuck in who we both used to be.

Well, whatever. I sighed heavily and flopped onto my bed.

Enough of the gay-boy dramas. I had my first real date tomorrow! Felix and I were grabbing dinner after rehearsal.

Finally
.

Y
owza! My first date ever!

Here’s how it went down.

Well, first of all, the dress rehearsal went on and on. Everyone (including me) was getting nervous about the upcoming opening, so we were all hyper and distracted. That, of course, meant that we kept wasting time, missing cues, and screwing up lines.

But the biggest distraction was the costumes. Calliope had done an amazing job, not surprisingly—we all looked phenomenal. I realized she had been asking about my head movement because she had added a wire armature inside the hood to lift it above my hair, like some kind of astronaut’s helmet. It looked cool, but it totally restricted my peripheral view, leaving me like a horse with blinders, so I managed to convince her to take the wire out and leave it as a normal hood. I mean, this play was going to be complicated enough without my being visually impaired.

Felix’s Wolf outfit was the most impressive. Just like in the Broadway show, he had a fake muscle-y chest—not that Felix needed that kind of enhancement, in my opinion. But he did look a lot older and hairier, with Wolverine-like
claws, so it was a bit unnerving to have him advance toward me, snarling, in our big number together.

Look at that flesh
,

Pink and plump
.

Hello, little girl . . .

His Cinderella’s Prince costume, on the other hand, made him look like something out of a Disney cartoon. Swoon!

But as I said, the performance was a mess. Even reliably sunny Sister Mary Alice was reaching her limits, which in her case meant stony silences and long looks that only made you wish she would scream at you or throw things instead.

“I’m not going to raise my voice,” she’d say, all low and warbly, “but you should remember that at seven thirty on Friday evening there will be a reckoning. Will it be a triumph? Or a painful, regrettable disaster? It’s up to you.”

Her surgically precise guilt trips were in sharp contrast to Jenny’s broad reign of bossiness backstage. Poor Oliver and Jimmy bore the heaviest onslaught of commands as they scurried back and forth, putting out fires—ripped costumes here, off-kilter spotlights there, dead microphones everywhere. Jenny was running around, too, issuing endless reprimands to the cast, which inspired a staggering range of curses in response. Everyone was on edge.

Except for Kate O’Day, that is, who was an island of tranquil professionalism. She paid attention and never missed
her cues, and she blatantly ignored anyone who tried whispering when we were supposed to be silent. It seemed a bit stuck-up at first, but by the end of the rehearsal she had pretty much shamed us all into some semblance of sober focus.

After sitting through Sister Mary Alice’s and Mrs. Murray’s scathing notes, we were finally released. It was late, about ten o’clock, so everyone left right away. Luckily, my parents understood that the rehearsal was bound to run really late, so I didn’t have to worry about curfew. Oliver had offered me a ride with him and Derek earlier, but, without thinking, I’d told him I was going to grab a late dinner with Felix.

“Oh?” he replied, clearly taken aback.

“It’s not . . . like . . . ,” I said, flailing for words. I should have told him about Felix by now, I realized.

“It’s OK. You don’t have to—I mean, it’s fine,” he said, giving me a quick smile before walking off to meet Derek.

Felix had texted Matt (remember him? The spiky-blond jock from the audition?) to pick us up, so we ended up standing in the parking lot to wait. It was getting cold already, so there were no fireflies or droning crickets to give any indications of life in the landscape. Only one fluorescent lamp fixture unsteadily pooled light on the asphalt around us, with just the inky void beyond. Watching the tiny red dots of car taillights recede into the darkness, I momentarily regretted having not taken Oliver up on the offer of a ride. I was tired, and it would have been nice just to get into his
cozy car with him, like yesterday. With him and Derek, I mean.

Felix sat down on the ground and patted the curb.

OK, this was a pretty attractive option, too.

I plopped down. His arm snaked over my shoulders, and I worried that he could feel my heart banging against my rib cage. I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, opening my eyes to gaze at the starlit sky above.

“Pretty intense day, huh?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I answered, searching for something more to say but coming up short.

“Sorry about last night. My grandmother wasn’t doing so great, so I couldn’t really get away.”

I thought about the old woman at the mall and how she clearly had health issues. And to think I was being such a jerk about not hearing from him all day yesterday, while he had something way more important to focus on.

“No need to explain,” I said, chastened. “It’s OK.”

So, instead, we kissed. And kissed. Eventually a black Camaro roared into the parking lot and swerved to a screeching halt, its tires drawing parentheses on the asphalt.

Felix whooped and sprang up. The doors on either side of the car opened, and Matt and a girl with frizzy black hair and a glitzy miniskirt stepped out.

“Hi, I’m Brianna,” she said, giving me a once-over. “You must be Mary.”

“Martha,” I corrected her.

“Oh, right, sorry,” she said, in no way apologetically.

“Dude, let’s roll. I’m starvin’,” Matt said. I climbed into the back with Felix, where the seats were apparently designed for small monkeys, not humans. An empty soda cup crushed against my foot as Brianna ratcheted her seat into me.

“You got enough room back there?” she asked.

“Yep, all set,” I said, wondering whether the fact that I couldn’t move an inch in any direction would actually help me in an accident or mean certain death.

Felix didn’t have it any better, but it was nice to be able to just
hold hands
for once—a welcome distraction from Matt’s NASCAR-inspired driving style. Eventually he pulled into the Friendly’s off I-71, just north of Weeksburg. We went inside, grabbed a booth, and ordered some properly greasy food. Actually, I ordered greasy food first, and Matt joined me, and then Felix and Brianna ordered sensible salads. (Dating lesson learned.)

So it turned out that Brianna didn’t really know the guys that well; she was going out with Matt for the first time.

“So what school do you go to?” I asked.

“Holy Name,” she replied, delicately spearing a cucumber slice with her fork.

“Oh, so do you know Felix’s sister? What’s her name again?” I asked, turning to Felix.

“Jill. Jill Peroni,” he said. “She’s a senior. Do you know her?”

Brianna thought for a moment but then shook her head and shrugged. “Peroni? I know some Jills but no Peronis. I
don’t know that many seniors, really, but I’ve probably met her at some point.”

“So how did you meet Matt?” Felix asked her.

Brianna went into this long, complicated story involving mixed-up movie tickets at the mall, with Matt grunting his agreement occasionally as he ate. Felix’s eyelids fluttered and started to droop, and he yawned widely, arching his back and stretching his elbows up in the air. His shirt lifted, and I caught a glimpse of his stomach, lean and toned. Damn, he was good-looking.