Beyond Control (32 page)

I had thrown myself into transitioning the espresso shop into my ownership. Rather than the time payments and a gradual takeover that I had planned on, I decided to deplete my nest egg and pay Jason outright for it. He refused at first, but I eventually won out through countless emails and finally a check that arrived at his doorstep. It was better that way for both of us.

I had done a mighty fine job of lying to myself and to him that night I broke everything off, but every day had gotten slightly better than the one prior. Maybe that was another lie. I had lost track, but Brandy did a great job of reminding me that I was full of it.

I had included a tiny note in the envelope that had the payment for Jason to stop by and that pastries were always on the house, but he hadn’t taken me up on the offer. Or if he had, it wasn’t when I was around.

I was busy staring at cheese reports in the day and jetting off at night to take care of the espresso shop, and that’s where I was right now. I decided that I wanted to freshen up the interior and was painting the walls a nice sage green. Actually, that, too, was lie. The old décor reminded me of Jason, and that wasn’t a good thing so I recruited Carla to help, which also meant I needed to tell my father about my side business. He wasn’t happy about it. At all. He was still under the impression that it was a transaction that could be stopped, and I was expecting him here any minute. My hope was with a roller in hand, he’d get the message.

I went over to the window and flipped the sign to closed and locked the door. I took off my sweatshirt and threw it on the counter. The beautiful summer that was bestowed upon Seattle was now being paid for with a vengeance. The moment September arrived Seattle had experienced torrential downpours, flooding and cold temperatures.

I knelt down by the paint can and flipped the lid off and poured some into the tray just as a pair of headlights turned into the parking lot. Perfect timing! Roller in hand, I unlocked the door and waited for Carla and my father to come inside. My dad looked really good. No one would ever have known that anything had happened.

My dad had said that I was too young to understand, and I was throwing everything away by getting involved in this business. I hoped tonight he would understand that this was where my heart was.

My father walked into the coffee shop, with Carla by his side. He didn’t say a word. Instead he just looked around the café, analyzing and picking everything apart. I could tell. It was what he did with anything I’d ever presented to him in life. Whether it was a My Little Pony or my first car, he would stare at the objects long and hard, dissecting potential issues. And that was exactly what he was doing as he stood in the espresso shop now.

“We saw Jason at the diner tonight,” my dad said, and I caught Carla smacking him.

My heart fell.

“You came for dinner on the island?”

Carla nodded.

“And you saw him?”

This time my dad nodded and began taking in the space, walking around, knocking on walls, and tapping on the floor.

“It’s a great location,” my dad confirmed. “I can see why this was tempting.”

Instead of being ecstatic over my dad’s proclamations, I couldn’t stop wondering about Jason.

“Was he alone?” I asked, glancing at Carla. Her gaze fell to the floor.

“No,” my father said, turning to me. “I know it’s none of my business…”

“You’re right,” I said interrupting him. “It’s none of your business.”

He pressed his lips together and looked at my stepmom.

“Your history of avoidance won’t get you far,” my father said. “Look at what happened with me. I will never forgive myself for keeping your brother and you apart because of my own personal…”

“Dad, it’s not the same. There is no avoidance. I’m a walking reminder for Jason that his fiancé died. That’s not something that can be shoved under a rug and be forgotten,” I argued, more with myself than with my father. “Believe me, he wouldn’t be avoiding it. I saw the hurt in his eyes when we figured it out.”

“I wasn’t talking about Jason,” my father said. “But I’m sure you know that.”

“What are you talking about then?” I crossed my arms, still unable to shake the thought of Jason already moving on.

“I want to see you have the same amount of courage that you’re putting into this espresso shop applied to your relationships. You never have done that, and with Jason I saw that there was something there,” my father said softly.

“I was never brave when it came to your mother,” my father whispered. “When her needs weren’t being met, I ran. I didn’t try to stay and fight it out with her. I knew she was seeing other people and instead of being angry, I was relieved.”

“Is that why you were never angry with Bernie?” I asked.

Carla walked over to my father and slipped her hand into his, and I saw the love between them like I’d never seen it before.

My father nodded.

“I don’t want to see that happen to you. I know there are things I can’t ever expect you to forgive me for, but I’m hoping I can convince you not to make the same mistakes as me.”

I felt the lump forming in the back of my throat as I thought about the words that were spilling out of my father. This was an entirely different man standing in front of me.

“I don’t understand,” I whispered.

“Yes. You. Do,” my father said, smiling. “You’re a smart woman who knows exactly what she wants in life. And I want to see you go after everything that you want, not just professionally.”

“It might be too late,” I said, already feeling defeated. “You saw him with someone…”

“Your mother was worth fighting for and so is Jason. Don’t do what I did,” his voice went hoarse. “Before it’s too late.”

I glanced at Carla and couldn’t believe what an incredibly confident and wonderful woman she was. Standing there by my father’s side, listening to the words that were falling out of his mouth about my mother, another woman. But she understood. It was a past life and she was part of his new one.

“It’s true, my dear,” Carla whispered. “We all make mistakes in life. We’ve all been there. But if there’s a chance to stop it before it’s too late, we would both be terrible parents for not saying something.”

“And, Gabby?” my father asked, placing his arm around my stepmom. “Your brother told us that you drained your savings account to buy this place. I respect your reasons for doing so, but we want to replenish your savings.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I can’t let you do that. It was my decision.”

“Don’t be silly,” Carla said. “We have it to share and what good is it if it just sits in our brokerage account. There’s no arguing about it. Consider it done.”

“Do I have your word that you’ll at least go talk to Jason?” my father asked.

I smiled at my dad and nodded. “Yes. I promise. You have my word.”

This was a conversation I never expected to have with my father in a million years.

“Good. And Gabby?” my father asked.

“Yes?”

“You’re fired,” he said, a twinkle in his eyes. “A hefty severance will see you out the door, but this is where you belong.”

Carla was squeezing his arm, busting at the seams.

“Dad…”

“No arguing. It’s crazy to do what you’re doing. I’m not saying it can’t be done, but there’s no need. There’s no medal to win, trying to kill yourself.”

“What about Brandy?” I asked.

“I think she’d enjoy working with my legal team far more as she enters law school,” he said, his voice completely full of joy. He’d obviously thought of everything.

I ran over to my dad, hugging him and Carla until my arms hurt.

“Thank you, dad,” I whispered. “Thank you so much.”

“Now make us proud and go show Jason what he needs to be shown,” my father whispered. “We’re going to hit the ferry line. Don’t wait too long.”

I shook my head and smiled as my father and stepmom walked outside.

Don’t wait too long… Whatever Carla and my dad saw must not have been good. I locked the door and slid down the wall, allowing myself to finally cry the tears I had been holding back since the day I walked out on him.

I called Jason’s cell phone and left a message. I also tried his home and work numbers and didn’t get an answer at either one of those either. I’d let several hours pass since my first set of attempts and took a deep breath in, as I thought about dialing his number again.

I didn’t want to be one of those crazy stalker chicks, but I’d made a promise to my dad and finding out that he had dinner with someone wasn’t comforting, to say the least. I had stayed at the espresso shop all night and finished painting all the walls. I liked how it looked but was exhausted. I’d gone straight home and slept for five hours. My body wanted to sleep for longer, but my heart wouldn’t allow it, so here I was staring at my cell, wondering if I should call him again.

I wandered onto the patio and walked over to the hot tub. I folded the cover back and stuck my fingers into the warm water. Brandy had gone out and didn’t plan on getting back until tonight, so I was alone. I didn’t actually have to go get a suit… It might have been the lack of sleep talking but I quickly stripped off my clothes and tossed my phone on the chair and hopped into the warm water. I sat on the bench and leaned my head against the wall.

I heard a light tap on the glass door and my eyes sprung open. What was it about me and this hot tub? I looked down at my white cotton bra, which was completely see through and swam to the far side of the Jacuzzi, hoping to see who in the world was tapping on the glass.

Squinting my eyes and trying to see through the glare, I realized it must be Lily or someone who looked an awful lot like her. I waved for her to come out on the patio and she quickly waved back.

“Hey,” she squealed, sliding the door open. “Surprise!”

Lily was gorgeous. Her auburn hair was piled loosely in a bun and she was wearing a pair of black yoga pants and a tight, pink tunic. Her green eyes sparkled as the light hit them, but the truth was she always had a certain twinkle in them.

I smiled and tried to compute what she said.

“Does Brandy know?” I asked, smiling.

“She’s the one who planned it.” She was beaming.

“It is so awesome to see you,” I said, shaking my head. “I had no idea how much I needed my friends right now.”

I moved to the side of the tub, my chest still submerged.

“I’m so happy to see you,” she chirped, walking quickly to the hot tub.

“Okay, so I kind of just popped into the tub in my bra and undies so no laughing,” I warned.

“Haven’t you learned your lesson?” she teased.

“You heard about that?” I laughed as I stood up from the water, covering my chest with my arm.

“I may be in Portland, but I will not be missing monumental moments in my best friends’ lives.” She helped me out of the tub and gave me a huge hug, drenching herself in the process.

“Thank you,” I told her, starting to freeze.

“So how do we get this Jason guy to understand he’s being an idiot,” she said, taking a step back.

I twisted my lips into a frown and laughed. “The more I think about it, I’m not sure he was the idiot. But I’m freezing. So I’ll have to fill you in on the details inside.”

Her brow furrowed as she followed me inside. “How so? Brandy said he found out about the transplant and that was it.”

Aw. Thank God for heat. Autumn was definitely settling in over Seattle.

I glanced at her as I closed the door behind her.

I took a deep breath in.

“Yes and No,” I muttered. “We never talked about it.”

“Whoa.” She held up her hand. “That sounds like a signature Lily move. What do you mean you never talked about it? I wouldn’t imagine that’s something you could just dance around as he’s breaking up with you.”

We were walking down the hall and I stopped in front of my bedroom door and spun around to face her.

“He didn’t break up with me,” I confessed.

“What do you mean, Gabby?” Her brow arched slightly.

“I saw the hurt in his eyes and broke it off with him. I knew it would be best. Or at least I thought it would be best.” I turned back around and walked into my bedroom with Lily right behind me. I braced myself for a lecture, but there wasn’t one.