Beyond Control (33 page)

I opened the drawer and searched for my comfies, also known as the world’s best sweat pants, and found them under the sweatshirt I planned on pulling on as well.

“You still have those?” Lily asked in disgust as she pursed her lips together.

“Yeah. And look,” I said waving them both in my hands. “The situation has presented itself to wear them again. What are the odds?”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her.

“Brandy didn’t mention that you broke it off with him.”

“I don’t think I mentioned it to her.”

“I see.”

“You see what?” I pulled on sweats and sat on my bed, ready for the lecture.

“You didn’t break it off with him because you saw the hurt in his eyes. You broke it off with him because he mirrored the hurt you were feeling. And it was easier to break it off with him, then stick around and deal with it.”

“Is that so Dr. Peterson?” I quirked a brow, annoyed at how right she really was.

“It’s a lot easier to run then stick around and fight for something worth having. Take it from me,” she whispered, her gaze dropping.

“You mean…”

“Oh, no…
you
… don’t!” she interrupted. “This session is revolving around you, not me.”

“Well, my dad came by the bakery last night, and besides the fact that I was pretty sure an alien had taken over his mind, he said a lot of things that made sense.”

“Yeah?” Lily asked, sitting next to me.

“Uh-huh. And I actually called Jason this morning…”

“What? You’re just now telling me this?”

“He didn’t pick up at any of his numbers so I had to leave messages.”

She puckered her lips as she looked up at the ceiling, debating what ‘our’ next move was going to be. “It’s Saturday. Do you think he’s at his house or where he works or…”

The knot grew in my stomach as I thought about the mystery woman he was with.

“I don’t know. Probably at his house. My dad and stepmom ran into him at the diner in Bainbridge.”

“No shit?”

I nodded. “I know. Small world.”

“And?”

“He was with someone.”

“Hmm. Well, then my guess is he’s at the house,” she said, not missing a beat. “Time for a ferry ride.”

Great. Lily was thinking what I’d already beat myself up about. I just wondered who she was. I guess there was only one way to find out.

“You know what kind of burns me up?” I asked, sliding off my bed.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“That he’s already found someone else.”

“First of all you can’t be sure of that and second.” She bit her lip. “He’s a man.”

I started laughing as I secretly wished whoever this woman was far out of his life. I walked over to the door, and Lily ran toward me.

“Oh no you don’t,” she grabbed my oversized sweatshirt, pulling me to a complete stop. “You, my friend, are NOT going out in this, especially if I have to be anywhere near you.”

I gave her my grumpy face but had to agree. I looked down at my sweatshirt and noticed a couple of bleach stains and the worn sleeves seemed to have gotten worse while it sat in the drawer. Well, maybe not because it sat in the drawer.

“Alright,” I conceded. “This outfit may have seen better days.”

“Doll, this outfit has never seen better days,” she laughed.

I glared at her, and my gaze dropped to her yoga pants.

“These still show off my shape,” she laughed, wiggling her rear, as she walked to the closet.

“How about these?” she asked, narrowing right in on the tightest jeans in my closet.

“Probably don’t button,” I confessed, although, I hadn’t really been eating all that much since I’d left Jason. I held out my hands. “I’ll give them a try.”

Lying down on my bed, I pulled off my sweatpants and wiggled the jeans up my legs and over my hips. So far so good. I sucked in my breath on the final stretch and felt the zipper move with ease.

“Eek. They weren’t supposed to fit quite so easily.”

“Looks like someone went on the relationship diet,” she said, shaking her head. “How about this top?”

She dangled a blue, sequin top that Carla had bought for me last year.

“Um, no,” I said, raising my brow. “It’s a Saturday afternoon and I’m headed for a sleepy island town, not a night club.”

She rolled her eyes, clearly exasperated as she turned back toward the closet.

“This?” she asked, holding out an oversized white button down.

“Perfect,” I said, grabbing it away from her. This would conceal anything that the jeans let escape.

I pulled my hair into a quick ponytail and grabbed my keys and the purse.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready,” I confirmed.

We got into the elevator, and I pressed the parking garage button.

“I can’t wait to see what this guy looks like,” she said.

I whipped out my phone and clicked it on, revealing a picture of Jason and me as the wallpaper.

She let out a whistle and laughed. “Let’s hope it’s not too late.”

“Thanks a lot,” I said, scowling as the elevator let us out into the garage.

We hopped into the Jeep, and I took a deep breath as I started the engine. This was going to be okay. Driving out of the parking garage, I felt a bit of hope beginning to build. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe there was still a chance.

I pulled right onto the ferry and parked the car when my phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my purse, seeing a text from Jason.

Got your messages. Not at the island home. There’s a showing today. Maybe we can grab lunch sometime next week. Gotta run

A twinge of desperation resulted in sucking all of the air out of the car.

“What? What happened?” Lily asked, concerned by the look on my face.

“He put his home up for sale,” I said, shaking my head slowly. “And he’s not there.”

The ferry started its journey over to the island, and I watched as we slowly chugged our way to a place I no longer wanted to be.

“Not a problem,” she exclaimed. “We can just turn right around on the other side and meet him wherever he’s at.”

“He mentioned lunch next week,” I said, frowning.

“Lunch?” she snapped “Not on my watch. Do you have any idea where else he might be?”

“Lily, maybe it’s fate stepping in once again,” I said, glancing out the window. “It’s kind of done a number on the both of us so far. I mean how many times do I need to be punched in the gut before—”

“Before what? You find someone you’re madly in love with and let him slip away, again?” She shook her head. “No. Where do you think he might be? His work? What was it he did?”

“He’s a bike builder.” I sighed.

“Let’s try his shop.”

“He also has a townhome somewhere in the city.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so?” she asked, grabbing the phone from me.

“What are you doing?”

“What you should have done weeks ago.”

I watched her type at full speed and did nothing to stop it. She hit send and handed me the phone. I looked down at the message and started laughing. It kind of sounded exactly like me.

No! Lunch won’t do. But thanks for the offer. If you’re not at the house, mind sharing where you might be and I’ll come meet you?

I started laughing. “Boy. I sound bossy.”

“Sometimes,” she laughed.

My phone buzzed and I looked down to see Jason’s text.

I do mind sharing and lunch next week or no lunch at all

“What?” she asked.

“He’s being a complete dick,” I said.

“Under the circumstances I’m not so sure,” she whispered.

I texted quickly back. This was war. I wasn’t going to be pushed away like I was nothing, like we were nothing.

No lunch at all, huh? Seems a bit stingy and inflexible… Is your schedule this tight because your dinner dates are already filled with bimbos?

He buzzed back immediately.

I don’t think my real estate agent would enjoy being called a bimbo, and it’s nice to see that you’re sending spies around the island. A little too late, don’t ya think?

“He’s really pissed,” I said, looking at Lily. But feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted, knowing the woman was only a real estate agent.

“Wouldn’t you be? He fell in love with you and found out something absolutely heart wrenching. No pun intended. And from what I gather you just took a bow and did a quick exit.”

I nodded. She was right.

I texted back just as our ferry docked.

I’m sorry I ran. But I’d rather tell you in person why and ask for your forgiveness… Regardless of what comes of it. And lunch seems a bit far off. And believe me, I didn’t send spies after you because I never would’ve wanted to know. My parents just happened to be there before they visited me at the coffee shop

He texted me an address along with the words, “My flight leaves in three hours.”

I felt his walls slightly starting to crumble or maybe it was wishful thinking, but it was quickly replaced with spasms of panic. Where was he going and did he plan on coming back?

Jason opened the front door of the townhome, and Sunny and Tomato came bounding toward me. I guess this was
his
townhome. However, not seeing a For Sale sign at this place, too, did little to relieve my worries, especially when his eyes locked on mine.

“Come in,” he motioned for me to step inside.

“Thanks,” I said, petting both Tomato and Sunny.

I entered directly into a great room that opened into the kitchen. I heard a few dishes clank and glanced over to the dining room and saw the Betty Paige look-alike. What was she doing here?

The space didn’t feel like Jason at all. There was a leopard throw over the red leather couch. Yes, red leather. And three huge zebra rugs separated each space. All of the furniture, besides the red leather, was iron and glass.

Jason caught my look, and I saw a slight tug at his lips.

“Let’s go to the study,” he said, pointing to the closed double doors. I spotted two suitcases and my heart plummeted.

We walked over to the room and he opened the door, allowing me inside first. This space was decorated just as ferociously as the other room. And yes, I mean ferociously, like these animals were going to come back from the dead to haunt me. The cheetah wallpaper was cringe worthy, and I had to scratch my nose to hide my smile even though I was in a very serious situation. Not because the situation was funny because it was far from funny, but because I was going to be having one of the most important discussions of my life in a room that was going to leave me with nightmares, more than what we spoke about.

“It’s a nice place,” I said, glancing at Sunny and Tomato. I didn’t need to be caught in a lie right off the bat.

“You like it?” he asked.

“Uh-huh. Great place,” I said, keeping my eyes on the pooches.

“I never would have figured,” he said, his voice almost edging on playfulness.

I shook my head and brought my gaze to meet his.

“You can’t lie for shit,” he said.

Instead of smiling, I glanced around the room.

“I’m really sorry about how I left. I guess that kind of shows where my maturity level is,” I confessed.

“I don’t know that I gave you much choice. I didn’t handle things well, either. I was just in shock. I think it came out as anger,” he replied, taking a seat in front of me on the ottoman. He leaned his elbows on his knees, and it was hard not to notice the definition of his arms. “I didn’t expect you to leave.” He let out a sigh.

I saw the hurt in his eyes and looked away quickly.

“I think it’s a family trait. One that I’m really trying to correct,” I muttered, feeling the lump in my throat. Now was not the time. This wasn’t going to turn into the console Gabby hour. “Not that it will help with us.”

“We’ve all got our things,” he said, his voice kind.

I looked up at him, his eyes locking on mine.

“I never expected things to end this way,” I said.

“I never expected things to end.” His eyes not leaving mine.

My belly twisted into knots with his confession, and I began feeling sick.

“There are some things in life that can be overlooked, but this isn’t one of them. When I saw the hurt in your eyes, the confusion…it killed me. I knew I’d be seeing that every time you looked at me, and I didn’t want to do that to you. I didn’t want to cause pain.”

“And you think by leaving, you didn’t cause pain?” he asked, bewildered, an edge creeping into his voice.

“Not as much pain. If I stuck around a few more months, and then we finally dealt with it, our emotions would be stronger so we’d be hurt more when we moved on,” I told him, watching his eyes darken.

“When we moved on?” he asked, his eyes blazing. “You’re certain we would’ve moved on?”

I watched his jaw tense, his muscles tightening as he stared at me.

I nodded, feeling the heat of his fury reach from where he was sitting.

“Incredible,” his voice hoarse. “I forgot at your age how all the answers come so easily.”

A twinge of hurt dug into me and I dropped my gaze. I saw him move the ottoman closer to me, and my pulse quickened.

“I wanted to tell you how sorry I was. You deserved better,” I said, pushing aside his last comment. “You deserve better. I was wrong to leave without even talking to you about it.”