Beyond Reason (12 page)

“This is so awesome,” Brandy gushed, popping her head over the back of the leather seat. “Do you realize how big these seats are? And we get special food?”

I had to laugh. Leave it to Brandy to be excited about airplane food. We had just boarded our plane, and Aaron surprised Brandy with First Class seats for all of us. She was so cute about it. I wanted to squeeze her cheeks.

“Seriously? They serve a choice of salmon or steak salad for lunch?” Brandy continued. “This is way better than peanuts or pretzels.” Aaron slid his arms around her waist and flipped her back in the seat to a fit of giggles.

We were lucky to have her in our lives.

Gabby rolled her eyes and laughed as she removed a blanket from the sanitized package and spread it over her lap. She leaned her head against Jason, and I glanced quickly out the window as I watched the food cart get loaded inside. First Class had already been called and now all of the regular seats were loading. Mason and Ayden weren’t here yet. Somehow, someone’s alarm clock didn’t go off, or I didn’t quite hear the whole story about who was picking up who, but they’d just gotten through security so they’d be here soon.

Once I told Brandy and Gabby the entire story about Austin and me, they were completely beside themselves for setting this trip up, but I promised them it needed to be done. If I didn’t want to go, I would have put a stop to it. I think they only felt slightly better about the whole thing. The truth of it was that I wanted to quit speculating about a boy from high school. If I just get it out of my system, I should be able to move on. Or at least that was the plan.

I leaned my head against the seat and then that little pesky voice in my head couldn’t leave well enough alone and chirped. “And maybe you’ll fall madly in love all over again.”

Right, on a ski trip where neither of us have spoken for years.

“You look like you’re deep in thought,” Ayden’s voice brought me back to reality.

I turned to face him and my cheeks warmed. I was certain he knew what I was busy daydreaming about, which only made it worse. His hair looked like he jumped in and out of the shower within a two-minute time period and he’d forgot to comb it. I suspected he was the culprit of tardiness. It was hard not to grin as I watched him secure his carry-on in the compartment above; his body stretching and my eyes wandering.

Gabby started laughing, bringing me out of my daze, and I watched her raise a brow from across the aisle. Was it obvious? I rolled my eyes and grabbed one of the magazines I’d bought at the gate.

Flipping the pages, I pretended to be completely enthralled in the fashion hit-and-miss section when Ayden sank into the seat next to me. A light scent of soap and something Ayden drifted over, and I couldn’t help but think back to that weekend he came over. The very thing that he came to relay turned out to be the very thing making my emotions bounce all over the place.

Ayden’s body began to pulse forward, and I started laughing as Mason sat behind us, thumping his brother’s seat with his feet.

“This is why I don’t do family vacations any longer,” Ayden said, loud enough for his brother to hear.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Mason laughed. “Mr. Bigshot, huh.”

As Ayden sat in the chair, his body kept bumping forward as he tried to look at the magazine I was scanning. His smile was so infectious—I couldn’t imagine sitting anywhere else. If nothing else, I’d be in a good mood by the time we landed in Salt Lake City. I loved how Brandy’s family was so close. She and her brothers were the exact opposite of mine.

“Completely hideous,” Ayden said, shaking his head.

“Come on. Your brother’s not that bad,” I said, laughing as our eyes connected.

“I wasn’t talking about my brother.” He pointed at the page in front of me where some actress was dressed in a sheer pink jumpsuit with a corset visible underneath.

“You better start getting used to high fashion, you know,” I teased. “Dating a model and all.”

His smile fell slightly, and he moved forward to grab something out of his bag that he’d slid under the seat in front of him. He pulled out two books and handed me one. He ignored my comment and focused on the book he’d just given me.

“This one’s for you. I haven’t read it, but I saw it at the bookstore, and it sounded like something you’d like. It’s a mystery. I saw a lot of those on your shelves at home. Hope you haven’t read it yet.”

My heart literally melted on the spot. And I realized how very difficult it was to keep him in the friend zone.

“This was so sweet of you,” I said, admiring the cover. “And no, I haven’t read this one, but I love the author. I can’t wait to start it. Thanks. What do you have?”

I reached over and picked up his novel.

“I’m on a historical kick right now. This guy writes with incredible detail. By the end of each book, I felt like I lived through whatever time period he wrote about.”

“I never took you for a reader. Like a
real
reader,” I said, grinning.

“Are there fake readers out there?” he joked.

“You’d be surprised. To get people into bed, there are a lot of fake talents floating around out there.”

“I didn’t know reading was a talent, but I’ll take it.” His laugh was cut short as the flight attendant began her demonstration on how to survive a plane crash, and I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched her gaze move back and forth between Mason and Ayden. It was like her brain was participating in some sort of high stakes ping-pong match of hotness. I glanced at Ayden who didn’t even seem to notice her fascination, which resulted in a pulse of satisfaction racing through me.

“So when’s…”

“She’s getting in tomorrow,” he replied, cutting off my question.

How’d he know who or what I was talking about?

“That’s cool.” I was the one who picked out that particular model and didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t for the life of me remember her name. “So does model chick know how to ski or snowboard?”

Real mature.

“She skis. Sammie skis.” He opened his book and held it in his left hand.

Samantha! That was it. Shouldn’t have a problem remembering it now that it rolled off his lips.

I didn’t like how it rolled off his lips.

My mind drifted off to the rooming situation, and I tried to remember how many bedrooms this place had…was it four or five?

“I wonder since Mason and I are the singles of the group, if we’ll have to bunk up,” I joked.

“That would be fine with me, doll,” Mason’s voice sounded from behind.

I started laughing. “Is that how you start out your moves? With doll?”

“Only on the special ones,” he joked.

“I’m honored.” The plane began moving down the runway, and I wrapped my fingers around the armrests. Even though I wasn’t scared of flying in the traditional sense, I hated taking off and landing. Everything else was fine, and I didn’t require meds before boarding like my mother so I’d say I was doing pretty well.

Ayden caught my reaction and smiled. Lowering his hand over mine, I felt the tension of the moment slip away as quickly as it came. Once we were in the sky, we both began reading. Everyone else was plugged into the movie players, which kind of made it like our own little soundproof box. I found myself reading the same sentence over and over again as my mind kept drifting to Austin.

In less than eight hours I would be meeting him for drinks, and I’d know the course of our relationship. Would we be merely acquaintances or would a friendship resurface? Would I go back home with more understanding or resolution? The thought of seeing him was suddenly terrifying as my mind wandered to all of the “what if” scenarios surrounding our history. Had he forgiven me for leaving? Would he be able to forgive me? Did he care? Did I screw him up as much as I did myself?

“That must be an intense page,” Ayden said softly.

I looked over at him and laughed. “Lots of big words.”

He closed his book and placed it on the tray. “You’re going to be okay. When he sees you, all will be forgiven. No one could possibly stay mad at that face.”

I turned in my seat and my eyes narrowed as I studied him. “How do you always know what’s bothering me?”

“Just lucky, I guess.”

“What if I meet him and nothing changes? I go back to Portland and am still as screwed up as I’ve always been. All these years, I’ve been able to blame my choices on my past, and what if the problem is really just me?” I laughed, but it didn’t sound very funny.

Ayden turned slightly in the chair and lifted up the armrest between us.

“You’re not anymore screwed up than the rest of us, Lily.”

“Oh, but I am,” I assured him.

“I’m not exactly sure what you’re referring to, but the Lily I know is a passionate free-spirit who embraces friendship fiercely.”

“I’ll give you that. I’m an awesome friend, but I suck at romantic relationships. That’s what I was referring to.” I smiled, and I knew he knew it too.

“You don’t see a ring on my finger either,” he laughed, wiggling his ring finger.

“Doesn’t mean you suck. You just haven’t found that special someone.”

“So why can’t you apply that same line of thinking to yourself. You put so much pressure on yourself,” he whispered, as one of the flight attendants walked down the aisle.

I couldn’t explain it to him, what it was like to feel numb time and again. And how I so desperately wanted the numbness to fade. Besides we were on our way to a ski vacation, where he would eventually meet up with Sammie, and I would do who knows what with what I was about to discover.

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right person. Or maybe you did and he’s in Utah.”

“Now onto the most important question of all,” I said, grinning

“And what is that?”

“Are you a member of the mile-high club?”

He wriggled his brows, and I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “I’ll never tell.”

Without the armrest separating us, I leaned against him and began reading again, this time flipping the page and allowing myself to bury my mind into someone else’s world.

“Can we just stay here forever?” Brandy asked, as we all piled into the grand foyer of the condo.

Besides the fact that the snow began falling once we reached Deer Valley, the lodge was stunning and our condo was spectacular. This was turning into a perfect getaway.

The foyer was two stories high and exposed beams jetted from above in a sunburst pattern. The wall to my left was covered in built-ins for snow gear and straight in front of us was the great room. This would be a wonderful refuge if things headed south on me this week.

“Kudos to whoever picked this place out,” I replied, following Jason and Gabby down the hall.

Gabby stopped and took a bow just as I looked around the great room. A large leather sectional framed the room along with several overstuffed chairs, and a huge flat screen was anchored above the fireplace. The room opened to the kitchen, which was just as grand as the rest of the condo. Dark granite countertops covered the rustic, lower cabinets, and the breakfast bar was large enough to fit six chairs.