Big Easy Temptation (20 page)

What would his father want? If he’d been half a man he would want his family safe.
He would want them to heal and go on living, even if it meant he never got justice.

Maybe it was time for Dax to start thinking about moving on, too. He would cancel
his appointments at the prison. He would walk away and maybe this wouldn’t touch his
family again. Maybe.

He glanced down at his watch. Mad’s plane was picking him up in an hour. Not that
he had any reason to go to Vegas now.

Or should he? Maybe he should head to Vegas and fuck as many pretty girls as he could
handle before he reported back to base and his ship.

He would be out to sea for six months. It might be enough time to forget how she smelled,
how her arms had felt around him.

“Hey, you.” A feminine voice pulled him from his reverie. Courtney. She was wearing
a short skirt and a too-tight blouse, her raven hair flowing around her shoulders.
She was about as far from Holland
Kirk as a woman could get in every way. Courtney didn’t give a real shit about her
career. It was a way station between college and getting married. She certainly wasn’t
calculating enough to set him up for a payday.

Courtney liked him. She’d made no qualms about it. The moment he’d met her he’d known
he could have her if he wanted. She was sweet and had always looked at him like he
was ten feet tall. And she was Holland’s best friend.

He looked over at her as she eased onto the barstool next to him. Yeah, maybe she
was exactly what he needed.

“Hi.” He poured the rest of the whiskey down his throat. Nothing mattered now, and
a really bad idea took root in his brain. Well, his dick really. “Hey, how do you
feel about Vegas, baby?”

When her eyes went wide, he knew he had
her.

NOW

H
olland watched the video in utter dismay. How could one computer bring such terrible
memories? It unfolded a bit like a horror movie. It started out with a lovely day
and ended in someone’s heart getting ripped out of his body.

In the footage, the sun was shining on the Quarter. The camera was perfectly placed
to capture every single moment. Then the flash mob took shape and started dancing
as one. A man on a mission emerged at the front. He was a stunningly gorgeous male,
could have made a fortune with those piercing blue eyes and sharp cheekbones.

All of his friends—and they were numerous—danced along to a song about love and commitment
and he strode up with a black velvet box in his hand. He wore a tux and was so beautiful
it hurt to look at him. Then he dropped to one knee.

It was every woman’s dream proposal, but the woman in the video stepped back and shook
her head, the denial on her face making it clear that she wanted to be doing anything
but listening to him ask for her hand in marriage.

Unfortunately, that woman was Holland Kirk and the title of the
viral video was “Nasty Woman Turns Down Amazing Man.” And it had traveled the globe
in less than two weeks.

Yep. She was the nasty woman and she’d turned down the most amazing man because he
hadn’t been Dax Spencer. Captain Awesome.

She hit the pause button on the video and cursed under her breath. More like Captain
Asshole.

How long had it taken him to get over her? Maybe fifteen minutes. It couldn’t have
been much more since he’d been married to her so-called best friend the day after
he’d walked away from her.

Holland took a deep breath and tried to relax the fists she’d clenched at her sides.
She had to forget Dax Spencer. He didn’t mean anything to her anymore. Since she’d
severed their relationship, he’d moved up in rank again and gotten a bigger boat with
more staff and responsibility. At least he was alive and she’d made that happen. Not
that he’d thank her.

Asshole
. Apparently, his “love” had meant next to nothing. She’d sacrificed her future and
her heart for him, and he’d married her best friend at the time not twenty-fours later
just to stab her in the back.

Three years later, her thoughts still circled right back to Dax. She should be focused
on what the hell to do about this video and the man whose feelings she’d hurt. But
no.

It had taken Holland a good year, but she’d finally started dating again. When Detective
Chad Michaels had asked her out at her uncle’s yearly crawfish boil, she’d agreed
since she’d had nothing better to do. She’d kind of fallen into the relationship because
it had been easy. They’d been friends, and he was nice. Then one night she’d been
so desperate to wipe Dax from her mind that she’d found herself in bed with Chad.
She’d cried afterward but marched forward because she needed to move on. Fourteen
months later, she’d had to deal with the consequences.

“You’re watching that thing again?” Her new partner’s hazel eyes went wide. Gemma
White was a tall woman with icy blond hair and a ready smile who could kick more ass
than Holland had ever dreamed
of. Gemma was the real shit—a former Naval officer who had spent a little time with
the FBI before coming home. “You come off like a total bitch, you know.”

She was also opinionated and so honest it hurt sometimes.

Holland felt that way when she saw the video. “Thanks for pointing that out.”

Gemma shrugged. “I do what I can.” She leaned over and pressed the button that started
the whole thing over again. “This is my favorite part. Look at that. Everyone looks
all shiny and happy. Oh, there. He brought his grandma out of the nursing home for
the occasion.”

Holland felt her whole body flush. “Yes. And then she had to go to the ER because
she complained of heart palpitations.”

Holland wasn’t entirely sure the woman hadn’t done it so she could sue.

“I have a screenshot of that moment when you say no.” Gemma’s lips curved up as the
camera centered on Chad’s handsome face and a light seemed to die in his eyes. “Yeah,
right there. I made it my screen saver.”

Mortification rolled over her. “You have to take that down.”

“No can do, partner. I want it to serve as a sign for you. I was right. He’s a dick.
Yo, Johnson. What did you think of Kirk’s old boyfriend?”

A younger agent popped up, a smile on his face. He was dressed casually, having just
come from a nasty crime scene. “He was amazing. He was only around for a few weeks,
but he’s a damn legend around here. He sent us all barbecue one day. I guess that’s
why they call him Captain Awesome.”

Gemma shook her head. “No. The more recent old one.”

Johnson’s face fell and the kid practically snarled. “He’s a total dick. You were
right to dump his ass. Me and some of the guys have a drinking game based on that
video. We take a shot every time the douche bag checks himself in a mirror. I got
trashed on Tuesday. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have done that right before I had to
process a multiple homicide.” He shrugged. “Live and learn.”

All around her she could hear her colleagues agreeing that Chad Michaels was an asswipe
of the highest order.

“There was a reason he didn’t invite any of us to his little proposal, and it wasn’t
all because Jim can’t dance to save his life,” Gemma explained.

“Hey,” Jim yelled over his cubicle wall. “I’m a fine dancer. Ask anyone who saw me
last Christmas.” He stood up and got serious. “And you were right to turn that kid
down. I’m not as fond of Captain Awesome as nitwit Johnson, but that man was madly
in love with you. Officer Michaels is looking to move up and thought you would be
the perfect wife.”

She frowned. She’d never once felt as if Chad was using her. Quite the opposite, in
fact. And Holland had always felt guilty. “Chad was fun to date. And might I point
out that Captain Spencer couldn’t have been too madly in love since he got married
the day after he dumped me.”

“He dumped you? That’s not how I heard it, Kirk. The story circulating was that you’d
devastated the man and the idiot got shitfaced, then found himself in a bad situation,”
Jim shot back. “Since I’ve been married four times, I sympathize with the guy. Never
got the one woman I loved so I kept trying to make it work with someone else. Like
I said, you were right to turn down Detective Michaels, for more than one reason.”

“Are we having some kind of therapy session here?” Her boss, Bill Edmonds, was a fit
man, having spent over twenty years in the Army. Now, at sixty, he headed her unit.
“Because if we are, I’m running the other way.”

“We’re discussing Kirk’s love life,” Jim pointed out to his former partner.

Bill nodded. “Yeah, that’s been a fucked-up mess since she dumped Captain Awesome.
You don’t come back from that, Kirk. Give it up. Be a nun. Or find a boy toy like
White here and pump out a couple of babies.”

Gemma shot their boss the finger. It was that kind of workplace.
“My Frasier is a beautiful man and he gave me three gorgeous babies. Kirk would be
so lucky.”

Frasier White was a skinny little academic teaching comparative literature at Tulane.
He weighed at least twenty pounds less than his wife and had about a quarter of her
muscle tone, but she lit up every time she saw him.

Yeah, she could be so lucky. Only one man had ever made her light up, and he was lost
to her forever.

“I need reports in thirty minutes on all open cases, people. Sort out your love life
later, Kirk.” Bill stopped at her desk. “Though if you give a damn about my opinion,
you did the right thing. Michaels wasn’t good enough for you.”

Bill nodded and moved on.

Holland flipped her laptop closed, unable to look at the screen a second more. “Well,
at least we have a consensus.”

Gemma leaned on the desk. “You have to let him go.”

Holland gestured to her laptop. “Oh, I think I did that already.”

“Nope. I wasn’t talking about the replacement. I was talking about the real thing.
Spencer. You know, when I transferred here two years ago and got assigned to you,
Jim and Bill told me that you’d gotten involved in a little side research that meant
something to someone you loved and it went bad. They said you’d never gotten over
it. You still haven’t, honey. It’s time.”

She’d moved on . . . mostly. She’d known three years ago that she was giving up Dax
and his warm, loving family. She hadn’t realized how much it would hurt the first
time she’d seen Judith Spencer and the woman had turned away from her, her aristocratic
head held high and tears in her eyes.

She’d kept up with Gus. Her crazy friend was doing so well in D.C. Every now and then
she caught sight of Gus following after Roman and Zack and her direct boss, Liz Matthews,
as they all got out of Marine One or Air Force One or whatever amazing transportation
they happened to be taking.

Not that she answered Gus’s phone calls. They had been numerous that first year. Gus
had left message after message complaining about a lack of information from Holland’s
side. She’d told Holland she wanted the truth. Holland couldn’t give it to her so
she’d ignored her friend.

It had worked. After about a year, Gus had stopped calling.

She didn’t have Courtney anymore, either. It was funny. She hated the woman and missed
her at the same time. Once Courtney had eloped with Dax, Holland hadn’t had a friend
to talk to. Maybe it hadn’t mattered. After her split with Dax, she’d gone into her
shell and hadn’t come out. Not even for Chad. Oh, she’d gone through the motions,
tried to wear a brave face, but she’d held herself back from everyone and everything
that happened around her. She’d done her job, gotten through the days, and tried hard
to convince herself she was falling in love.

Why hadn’t she simply said yes to Chad? She wasn’t going to get a better offer. At
least she could have had a life with him. Now she was a walking cliché—well over thirty,
sad, and never been married. Maybe she ought to get a passel of cats and start hoarding.

“I’ve got to go get ready for that meeting. I’ll present for both of us. Why don’t
you take an early lunch,” Gemma said with a pat on her back. “No one will mind. And
hey, come out to the house this weekend. We’ll barbecue and relax with my monsters
by the pool.”

Gemma winked, then strode to her desk to gather her files.

One by one, all of her coworkers left the room to join the meeting. Every single agent
who walked by sent her a sympathetic glance or smile. Within moments, she was all
alone and everything seemed far too quiet.

This was the way her life would be from now on. Quiet. Uneventful. She could see it
so clearly. Despite what the others had said, Chad had been a nice guy. Maybe he had
been looking to further his career. Who wasn’t? But she couldn’t believe the man would
have married her simply to gain favor with her uncle. No one attached themselves for
life to another person for the sake of a few rungs on the career ladder.

She flipped open her laptop again and the video began to play. Everyone looked so
happy—except her. God, was this clawing emptiness all she could expect in life? She’d
thought it would fade over time but no. Would she live the rest of her days unable
to accept love or joy because it hadn’t come from one man?

“You know, I think I should start a support group for men who’ve been turned down
by Holland Kirk. It’s getting to be a sizeable group, so we could have meetings and
form our own twelve-step program.”

Holland froze in her chair, her stomach knotting. She’d know that sexy, gravelly voice
anywhere. Had she hallucinated that voice in a desperate attempt to maintain some
connection to the man she’d loved and lost?

Please let that be it. Because she was going to be mortified if Captain Dax Spencer
was actually standing behind her, watching her complete and utter humiliation play
out on the web.

“This is my favorite part,” his voice whispered. “Right there. That’s when that guy’s
soul kind of died. You can see it. Hey, at least I didn’t get all dressed up for my
big moment. You look nice, though. Somehow you manage to look gorgeous even when you’re
breaking a man’s heart.”

She thought about not turning around. All she had to do was stand up and walk away.
She never had to look at his face. She would go to the meeting room. Her boss would
deal with him. Hell, she could send Gemma out and see how Dax dealt with Xena: Warrior
Princess.

Or she could be an adult.

She sucked in a bracing breath, then turned to him. Dax lounged against her desk with
a smirk, looking like a decadent god. He wasn’t dressed in his normal neat khakis,
but well-fitting jeans and a white T-shirt that hugged his muscular torso. He held
a helmet in one powerful hand and his hair was longer than it had been before. He
looked slightly older, a little harder, and so beautiful it hurt to look at him.

“Maybe you can recommend eloping with my best friend to all my sad-sack men?” Okay,
maybe she wasn’t capable of acting like an adult in front of him.