Authors: Michelle Love
JUDE
I don’t know how I thought that would go, but I didn’t ever picture it going the way it went!
I jump up and hurry after Mercy as she hauls ass out of the building. Not saying a word to her, I stay just behind her as she takes the kids to her car. Then I step up as she unlocks the doors and offer my help. “Let me help you get them into their car seats.”
Mercy spins around and I can see the tears rolling down her red cheeks. “Don’t!”
“What’s wrong with you, Aunt Mercy?” Carter asks.
“Nothing, just climb into your seat, Carter,” she says with tear-filled words. “Get away from us, Jude.”
I can’t just get away from her, but I do back up and let her get the kids put in their seats, remaining quiet as I have no idea what I should say. This is not going well at all!
After she gets Carter in, she slams his door and takes the little girl to the other side. I follow and wait quietly. When she’s done she slams that door too and reaches for her door.
I reach out and take her by the arm. “Mercy, stop.”
Her body is shaking as she turns back to look at me with eyes filled with anger. “You get your fucking hand off of me right now.”
“Mercy, we have to talk,” I tell her.
“You need to get the fuck away from me. We’re done! I’m going to tell the Cofield’s that you’re some kind of a fucking stalker and to forget about doing any kind of business with you. Now leave me alone, forever, Jude Hurst.”
I have to let her go as I think she’s on the verge of having a stroke and there are also people looking at us now with their mouths hanging open. Taking a step back, I let her go and let her drive away then go get into my brother’s car and follow her at a safe distance.
I know this is just more stalking on my part but I can’t let her shut me out. Not now that I know why she’s been so closed off this whole time. The woman really does need me.
But I do stay back so she doesn’t figure me out. I’m not about to approach her right now. I just want to know her address so I can approach her later tonight. Much later when she’s had time to calm down.
After fifteen minutes, I see her pull into a driveway. The home is brick and in a nice neighborhood. A garage door opens on a four car garage and she drives in then closes it behind her as I stop a little ways down the street.
The garage is attached to the house so I know I won’t be seeing her again. So I make a note of the address and leave the area. I feel like a huge asshole and can’t really figure out how to fix this damage.
My father and mother keep coming to mind so I head home to talk to them about what it is I’ve done and how bad it really is. I didn’t mean to hurt her and it’s clear that I’ve done just that.
I call Mercy to see if she’ll talk to me at all and nearly faint when she answers the phone, “Jude.”
“Mercy,” I say.
“The thing you have done is unforgivable. I meant it when I told you I never want to see you again. I’m blocking your number.” Then she ends the call.
My body is shaking with fear. She can’t really mean it. So I call back and it tells me she has blocked my number.
I can’t believe she can cut me out this quickly!
Pulling up to our house, I see Dad out on his little Gator, riding around with his Longhorns. I stop and get out of the car and wave him down. Then climb over the fence when he heads my way.
“Dad, I think I’ve really fucked up.”
“Aw, come on,” he says as I get into the vehicle with him. “What could you have done so bad, son?”
“Dad, I thought Mercy was hiding something from me. I followed her this morning.”
“You did what?” he asks as he stops and looks at me.
“Not intentionally. I saw her at a stop light and I followed her. I found out she was dropping a couple of little kids off at daycare. Then I called the daycare.”
Dad stops me again as he holds up his hand. “You called the daycare? Son, why would you do that?”
Putting my head in my hands, I press my fingertips into my skull and whine, “I don’t know, Dad! But it gets worse.”
“What else did you do?” he asks, sounding very worried.
“I bought some children’s books and donated them to the daycare then stayed there all day reading to the kids. And getting to know her nephew, Carter.” I raise my head and look at my father. “Dad, he’s such a sweet kid. And he told me his parents had died in a car accident along with his grandparents, Mercy’s parents. She’s taken them on as her own and she doesn’t tell anyone about any of it. Only the daycare workers know the story.”
“Oh, son,” Dad says as he shakes his head. “How did Mercy take it when you told her what you had found out?”
“I didn’t get to tell her that. I guess I should’ve handled it like that. I suppose I should’ve left the daycare after I found that out and went to her and confessed everything but I didn’t do that, Dad.”
“What did you do?” he asks me as he puts his hand on my shoulder.
“She came to the daycare and I was still there. I had her nephew on my lap and was reading him a book. I just smiled at her as I watched her face fall and her spirit right along with it.” I am as close to crying as I have ever been. I look at my father and all I see is that I may have fucked up too bad to get her back.
“My, Lord, boy,” he says then starts heading toward the house. “You need professional help with this one. Your momma may be the only person who can help you. But I wouldn’t hold out much hope. You really have gone kind of crazy, stalker man on the poor girl.”
Dad’s words make me feel even worse. I know I’ve overstepped my bounds this time. I’ve really messed up.
“What if I told you that I really, really love her, Dad?” I look at him to see what his reaction is and see a frown cover his face.
“Boy, I’m afraid me and your momma always gave you kids what you wanted the moment you asked for it and it might have spoiled you kids a little. You don’t know how to wait for things. And people take time and patience. I’m not saying that you don’t love this girl, but you needed to wait to let her catch up to you with that.”
“I know,” I moan as we pull into the garage. “I wish I had realized that before I went and pulled such a dumbass stunt. But now I know.”
Dragging my ass into the house, I pray that Mom has some idea of what I can do to fix things.
MERCY
I’m throwing things around as I try to make dinner for the kids but find myself so fucking mad at myself for letting anyone into my life at all. Mia goes and picks up a small pan I threw on the floor and brings it back to me. “Oops! You dropped this.” She comes back and hands it to me and I stop.
“Thank you,” I tell her then put it on the counter and go to the fridge and pull out a bottle of wine that’s been in there since I came to live here. I have no idea if wine has an expiration date, but I have to calm myself down so fuck it!
My hands are shaking as I take the corkscrew out of the drawer as the kids climb to their places at the dinner table and watch me like I’m some kind of a television show.
I stop what I’m doing and walk to the living room and turn the television on. “You guys come watch this instead of me, okay?”
They trot into the living room and I see Carter has a book in his hand. He tosses it on the sofa and I see a puppy on the cover. He sees me looking at the book then says, “Mr. Hurts gave me that book cause I like dogs and he has one like that. He told me that one day he’d like me to come see his puppy.”
“Hurst,” I correct him. “His name is Mr. Hurst. And we are never going to go see his stupid dog.” I walk away to get my damn wine I need more than any crack head has ever needed their fix.
“His dog isn’t stupid,” Carter shouts after me. “And why are you acting crazy? He’s a nice man!”
Little footsteps come up behind me as I grab the corkscrew again and a second set follows them. I turn back to see Carter looking at me with a frown and Mia is mimicking him, with her hands on her little hips.
“I thought I told you two to go watch television,” I say as I turn back to grab the wine from the fridge now that I have what I need to get it open.
“Well, I want to know why you are so mad and why you were so mean to him,” Carter says as he wags his little finger at me. “He has horses too. And even some ducks on a pond. He said he would love us to come over. He has a swimming pool and a big yard to play in and some cows too.”
Pressing the corkscrew into the cork, I feel it push in way too easily then the cork splits into dry pieces and a terrible smell comes from the bottle.
“Crap!” I hold my nose as I pour the sour stuff down the drain in the kitchen sink and feel like throwing a real tantrum. That was all the alcohol I had in the house. And it’s no good and now I have to figure out how to calm down all on my own and I’ve never been so mad in my entire life.
“Um!” Mia says as she shakes her little head. “You not posed to say that word, Aunt Mercy.”
I look at her sweet face with a big old frown on it and the one on Carter’s too and decide I have to do something about myself. “Who wants pizza?”
The frowns turn upside down and they start to cheer. I’ll call a cab to take us because I’m going to have a few beers while they play. I know it’s not a very motherly thing to do but it’s either that or tear the house apart as I throw things around until I feel like I’ve dealt with my anger and frustration.
Just as I pick my phone up it rings with a number I don’t recognize. I put on the professional voice I can bring up any time, any place as I answer it, “Mercy Noland.”
“Hey, sweetheart, this is Loretta Hurst.”
My heart stops and I know I can’t hang up on this nice lady but damn it I want to. “Look, I know what you want to talk about but it won’t do any good.”
“My son is a mess right now and I feel like I have a hell of a lot to do with that. So could you spare me a moment? Mother to mother, dear?” she asks.
So he’s told them everything I can see. I look at the kids and point them to the living room. “You guys go watch television while we wait. I have to talk to someone about business, okay?”
They nod and walk away as I plop into a chair at the dining room table and prepare myself to hear some shit about how her son is great and I’m an idiot.
“Can you talk now?” she asks me.
“Yes, mam,” I say as I sit back, kick off my heels, and put my feet up on the table.
“Look, my son has done something inexcusable,” she says.
“Great start,” I say as I’m impressed she can see his faults. “So you understand why I can’t see him anymore.”
“Well, I didn’t say that.” She pauses then says, “He told me about your family and darling I want to tell you how very sorry I am to hear about that. It’s a terrible tragedy. I know there are no words to help you, I do know that. But I also know that you’ve shut yourself off from people. That’s not good for those kids. And I know you know that deep down.”
“He isn’t the answer either,” I say as I look up at the ceiling and wish this was all a dream and that I had never really met Jude Hurst.
“I’m not saying he is. All I’m saying is being alone with all this isn’t helping any of you all. Those kids need you, but they need more than just you. What would happen to them if something happened to you?” she asks me making me take my feet down and sit up straight.
“Please don’t say that. You have no idea how much I’m afraid of that happening.” I can feel the anxiety welling up inside of me.
“I’m sorry if I’m upsetting you. But you need to realize that it’s hurting those kids to keep this up. I’d like to come visit with you and the kids. I’d like to invite you out to our place for Sunday dinner this week. Please tell me you’ll come.”
“It’s not you, Mrs. Hurst,” I say.
She quickly says, “Call me, Loretta.”
“Okay, it’s not you, Loretta. It’s Jude. He went too far.”
“He did. I’m not going to make any excuses for him. What he did was wrong. He’d like to apologize to you and the kids,” she says.
“No!” I say quickly. “I don’t want that and I don’t want to see him. You can tell him that you told me and that I said, thanks for the apology. I forgive him. I knew he was spoiled rotten and it’s all my fault for seeing him in the first place. This is all on me. You can tell him that. I have no hard feelings against him.”
“He’ll be glad to hear some of that,” she says. “But I’d like to say that I doubt you’ll find another man who cares so much for you.”
Her words hurt me to my core. I probably won’t ever find a man who tries so damn hard to get to know me than Jude has. But then again, I never wanted any man to get into my life, anyway.
JUDE
“She’s going to need time, son,” Momma tells me.
I shake my head and have to disagree. “Mom, that’s all she’s had is time. It’s been a little over two years since they all died. She’s been alone with this for that long. She needs someone now. Not a month from now. Right now.”
“Well, she doesn’t want to see you. She did say she forgives you if that makes you feel any better.” Mom runs her hand over the back of mine as I sit at the kitchen table and look at the glass of Scotch Dad poured for me.
I can’t touch it, though. Mercy is over there all alone with the kids. Mad as hell at me. And I don’t deserve to be able to get drunk and forget that fact.
“I wonder what she would do if I just showed up over there,” I say as I look at the way the dark liquid makes swirls all on its own.
“She’ll most likely call the cops on you, Jude,” Dad says. “So don’t do that. Give the girl some time. Then maybe go see her at work or something like that.”
My cell phone rings and I see it’s Lester Cofield. “Shit!” I get up and walk away. “I have to take this call.”
Walking out to the back patio, I answer the phone, “Mr. Cofield, how are you doing?”
“I’m kind of confused, Jude. That’s how I’m doing. I called Mercy to see how things went today and she told me you had pulled out of the deal,” he says.
“Oh, she did. I see,” I say as I have no idea what the hell to tell the man.
“That doesn’t tell me a whole hell of a lot, Jude,” he says and waits for more of an explanation.
Only I don’t have one. “Lester, did you know that Mercy is taking care of her dead sister’s kids?”
“What?” he asks with a very high voice. “Since when?”
“For the last two years,” I tell him.
I know she’s going to be pissed at me, but let’s face it, she already is!
“No!” he says then sighs. “How did you find this out?”
“I saw her on her way to work this morning and fell in behind her. When she stopped at a daycare, I saw her drop off a couple of little kids.” I decide to embellish my story a bit so the man doesn’t find out I’m a complete stalker. “It just so happened that I had a box of children’s books my company had given us all to donate to various children’s daycares. You know a little good PR. So I made a quick decision to give my box to that particular daycare.”
“And you found out all of that about our Mercy?” he asks.
“Yes, sir. It seems her sister and brother-in-law were going out on a double date with Mercy’s parents while Mercy watched her then two and a half-year-old nephew and six-month-old niece. They were in a wreck and all four of them died. She took the kids as her own after that,” I tell him.
“My gosh, that’s terrible. I can’t believe she never told us that,” he says.
“When she came to the daycare to pick the kids up, I was still there. I was reading to her nephew. He’s four now. And she kind of lost her shit. She also doesn’t live at the address she has on file at work. That’s her parents’ home. I’m afraid she’s been hiding the kids to hide the tragedy so no one asks her about it.” I wait to see what he has to say and hope he has some kind of a great answer for me.
“Damn it. I guess we have no choice in the matter do we?” he asks. “I guess we have to fire her.”
“What?” I ask as that was not what I intended at all. “No! No, you can’t do that, Lester! I didn’t mean you to take it like she’s some type of a crazy woman or anything like that. I just wanted you to know she has a lot on her plate, that’s all! God, please don’t fire her!”
I pace around and don’t know what the hell to do. Every fucking thing I’m doing is fucking her world up even more.
“Jude, it’s just good business. Poor Mercy has been lying to us for two years. We can’t have that,” he says.
Then I hear his wife asking him what’s going on and pray she can talk some sense into him. I hold on as he relays all I’ve said then hear her terrible words, “Oh no, we have to let her go.”
Fuck me!
“No!” I shout again. “Lester, please!”
“Sorry, son. But we can still do our deal,” he says.
“No!” I tell him. “If that’s the way you do business, I want no part in your company. Please rethink things. Please. If you keep her on and never say a word about this, I’ll keep the deal.”
I cross my fingers and hope he takes the offer. But when I hear him clearing his throat I get prepared for the age-old speech about it all being just business, nothing personal.
“Jude, this isn’t personal, son.”
I let it all go and end the call as I fall to my knees on the ground and look up at the darkening sky. “Why, God?”
In some kind of answer to my desperate cry, I hear thunder off in the distance and then the weather alert goes off on my phone. As I look at it, I find there’s a tornado warning for the Dallas area.
Wouldn’t you know it? The suburban areas highlighted in red include the one she lives in.
I put my phone into my pocket and head through the house to the cars. I stop in the living room where Mom and Dad are watching the news. “Oh, son, look at this. There’s a tornado warning,” Mom says as she points at the television that’s hanging on the wall.
“I know,” I say as I make quick strides across the room toward the garage. “Dad, I’m taking your four-wheel drive to get Mercy and the kids and bring them out here.”
“Oh, that’s a bad idea, boy!” he calls out after me. “You’re gonna get yourself thrown into the jail for sure!”
“I hope not. Even if I do, I deserve it. I just managed to get Mercy fired from her job too.”
Mom shrieks, “How the hell did you accomplish that, Jude Hurst!”
I shrug and shout back. “I have no idea.”
As I get to the truck and hop in, I push the button to open the garage door and can already hear the sounds of sirens going off far away in town. I back out and head out as fast as I can to get to them.
The woman may not want me but I sure as hell won’t be leaving her alone with two little kids during a time like this. I may have completely fucked her world up, but damn it, I’m not leaving them alone to deal with a natural disaster too.