Bit Players, Has-Been Actors and Other Posers: A Must-Read for Fans of Glee, High School Musical and Twilight (15 page)

A
S MR. LORD REQUESTED, the songs kept coming. Motivated by the script, the casting or – most likely – the chance to create singing parts for themselves, the CDC cast churned out songs.

Nigel surprised us with an Irving Berlin show tune, confirming my suspicion that he was a closet musical theatre buff, despite his claims to the contrary when I’d helped him prepare for auditions. Seriously, who would come up with “Anything You Can Do” from
Annie Get Your Gun
except someone who knows their theatre? It’s not like he got the idea from his housemate Ben. Even though Ben was an original CDC member, he knew nothing about musical theatre, except for the shows we’d done.

However, Ben’s contribution to the song list was very cool. I admit we were wary at first.

“You wrote a song called ‘That Smell’? You’re joking, right mate?” Nigel asked.

“I didn’t write it. That’s what it’s really called. I heard it on my father’s classic rock radio station the other day. When I heard the line ‘ooh that smell’, I thought of the scene in the biology lab when Edward can’t stand Bella’s smell,” Ben explained.

“He
loves
her smell. He can’t stand it because it’s so good, not because it’s so bad,” Lucey clarified, sounding offended.

“Whatever. I was going to write words as a joke, but the more I listened to the song, the more I realized it could be a great piece for the show. It’s hard-edged, and we need some fast songs. And it’s got great back-up vocals.”

We pulled up the song on YouTube in Mr. Lord’s room and had to agree. He’d found a winner.

After that, we pulled up “Anything You Can Do” for those who didn’t know it – basically everyone but me. It sounded corny after “That Smell” but I made a case for keeping the song on the maybe list, not to support Nigel but because we needed at least ten songs to fill out the show. And the refrain “anything you can do, I can do better” did have the potential to be pretty funny, sung by a family of vampires with super-human capabilities

14: Only Divas Need Apply

(SADIE YAWNS, STRETCHES AND TUMBLES OUT OF BED. SUN STREAMS IN THE WINDOW. SHE PATTERS TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS BUT STOPS, HER HAND GRASPING THE RAILING. HER PARENTS ARE DOWNSTAIRS TALKING IN HUSHED TONES. SADIE FREEZES AND LISTENS.)

WENDY

THIS IS GETTING REALLY BAD.

JOHN

I KNOW. LISTEN, IT’S TIME TO TELL SADIE.

WENDY

ABSOLUTELY NOT. SHE’S HAVING A TOUGH TIME THIS YEAR. I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S THE WHOLE ALEX THING OR WHAT. BUT SHE’S NOT HERSELF. WHEN’S THE LAST TIME WE HEARD HER SINGING IN THE SHOWER, OR MAKING A VIDEO OF A SKIT SHE WROTE?

JOHN

I KNOW, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULD KEEP THIS FROM HER.

WENDY

I JUST DON’T WANT TO ADD ANY STRESS TO HER LIFE RIGHT NOW. LOOK WHAT IT’S DOING TO US.

JOHN

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? (SIGHS) ALL RIGHT, I’LL HUMOR YOU A FEW MORE DAYS ON THIS, BUT THIS CONVERSATION ISN’T OVER.

WENDY

(IRRITATED) FINE.

(SADIE TIP-TOES BACK TO HER BEDROOM, CLIMBS UNDER THE COVERS AND PUTS A PILLOW OVER HER HEAD TO BLOCK THE SUN.)

*

M
Y GUT SEIZED UP like I’d been kicked. What was going on in my own house under my own nose? My parents’ strange behavior of the past few weeks -- the quiet dinners, the hushed conversations -- hadn’t stopped; I had just stopped paying attention.

They had my attention now. Apparently, there was an entirely different side to them than good ol’ mom and dad. A secret side. Which sounded like it had existed for a while. While I’d been caught up in the CDC, Alex and Nigel sagas, they’d evidently been having their own issues.

I wish I’d heard more of their conversation. Were they unhappy? In financial trouble? Maybe one of them was having an affair. What if they were getting divorced? I’d heard of couples who stayed together for the sake of their kids, but then divorced the second the youngest left home for college. I still had two more years, but maybe they couldn’t take it any longer. Maybe that’s why Mom had been hugging me more than usual, because she knew our happy family wasn’t so happy after all, and would soon be split up.

If they were on the brink of divorce and simply waiting for me to graduate to do the deed, maybe I could delay the inevitable by failing enough classes and staying back a year. A pathetic idea, but I couldn’t take the thought of them breaking up. I needed their solidity. I needed them there to bug me about where I was going and who I was with, and to listen to my problems when I wanted them to.

Whatever was going on, for once I couldn’t blame my fears on my dramatic nature. I’d heard what they said. They were hiding something from me.

*

L
INDSAY WAS GATHERING A CROWD around Mr. Lord’s bulletin board when I walked into school Monday morning.

“Check this out, you guys. I wrote it over the weekend.” He must have posted the song himself, since Mr. Lord was nowhere in sight. People flowed toward him like he offered eternal youth in a bottle.

“You all know the song ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game’, right?” Nods of assent from the crowd. “It’s perfect for our show. The baseball scene. Get it?”

The crowd murmured discontent.

“Kind of schmaltzy, don’t you think, Lindsay?” Foster asked.

“Maybe,” Lindsay shrugged, undeterred, “but wait until you hear my killer ending. Ready? Drum roll, please.”

Ben obliged, trilling the requested sound effect with his tongue. Lindsay sang loudly and slightly off-key.

Foster and I stared at Lindsay for a second, then at each other for another second, and then cracked up, our snickers growing into all-out belly laughs. I didn’t even point out that Lindsay should have said “We hit the ball with a crack”. Everyone in the small crowd laughed hysterically while Lindsay grinned. 

I went to first period pleased with the progress on our show. We had a good mixture of song styles so far – pop, rock, a folk ballad, and one or two funny songs. We might just pull this off.

In rehearsal that afternoon, we practiced the vocals for “Don’t Stop Believing” which Mr. Lord and Mr. Ellison, amazingly, agreed would start the show. We played the
Glee
version off YouTube again and again in Mr. Lord’s room until everyone had the vocals down, since we didn’t have an actual score to work from.

After that, Mr. Ellison blocked the first few scenes on the stage. Rather than watch Lucey perform the lead, I strolled the hallways during Scene 1 with “Bella” and “Charlie”. But I was in Scene 2, when Alice and the other vampires enter the cafeteria. And I would be in Scene 3 when Alice and the vampires sing “That Smell” in the biology lab, once I wrote new lines to segue the dialogue into the song.

Some people didn’t like the blocking part of rehearsal, because we repeated the same lines over and over while adjusting our movements and entrances and exits until they fit together seamlessly. I loved it. It was like breathing life into the paper script. The first time through, I think we all compared our blocking to what happens in the movie. But by the third or fourth run-through, our adaptation for our stage and our script became
the
Twilight
in our minds.

After rehearsal, Adrienne insisted I go to her house for dinner. I didn’t understand why since she seemed preoccupied during the meal and barely spoke, leaving me to entertain her family with CDC stories. After apple pie and ice cream, she sat me down in her bedroom. Her somber expression made me look up to see if a guillotine hung overhead. What could it possibly be? Was Nigel spreading rumors about me? Maybe she was ditching me because I was such a lousy friend. Or maybe Alex and Jocelyn were more serious than before. Even though I rarely discussed Alex with Adrienne or anyone these days, she knew I followed his every move.

“I heard something pretty horrible today,” she started. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but I think I’d want to know if I were you.” She inhaled and released the words in a torrent with her exhale. “You know Shawna Peterson? She told me that Mr. Lord promised Lucey the role of Bella before auditions were even held. You never had a chance of getting it.”

“Legit?” I stared at her, willing her to take it back, but Adrienne nodded and kept going.

“She doesn’t know why he did it, but she thinks maybe they slept together. Or maybe he’s trying to get in bed with her, I don’t know. Hard to believe she could have simply charmed him, but then again maybe his standards aren’t that high. Anyway, I thought you should know.” I stared at her in disbelief. “Sucks, doesn’t it?” she added weakly.

I didn’t want to believe that my show had been tainted with foul play, or that I never even had a chance of winning the lead. Somehow that was worse than losing it fair and square.

“How does Shawna know this?”

“She heard them talking about it – Mr. Lord told Lucey the show would only work with her in the lead. Shawna couldn’t believe it, but then later that day she saw Mr. Lord put his arm around Lucey and whisper something to her. Then the cast list came out and, well, you know the rest. Shawna thinks it’s true.”