Authors: S. Stevens
Tags: #General, #Fiction
Her eyebrows drew together. “A divorce? But why?”
My chest heaved as a fresh batch of tears slid onto my cheeks. “Because you and Dad were fighting more than usual. And having all these secret conversations. And then you snuck off to Aunt Karen’s that time.” I couldn’t stop talking. Three months of worry tumbled out, rational or not. “And I thought it was my fault that you were miserable. I thought you were like those couples who stay together just for the kids, but now that Jesse was gone you still had to deal with me, so you were pretending to be happy until I went away to college, but really you were miserable together. And Dad was distracted at school, even the other kids noticed it, and they never notice stuff with the teachers.”
My mother slowly but emphatically shook her head back and forth.
“Oh, Sadie, no. No, none of that was happening. It was all about me being sick. Most of our arguing, frankly, was about what to tell you, and when.” She laughed without humor. “Apparently, we were letting on more than we realized without saying anything directly.”
Anger gathered in my chest again. “So all this time, you were covering up what could have been cancer, and I was sitting here thinking you and Dad were on the verge of a divorce. Nice.”
She sighed in surrender. “I wasn’t covering up cancer. I was hoping to be healthy. But it was scary, to be honest, Sade, and I guess I was afraid that telling you would have made it more real.” I started to object but she stopped me. “And I was wrong. Very wrong. You’re strong enough to deal with this, if it had been cancer.”
“How long did you think it was—you know.”
“A while. First there was the mammogram, which showed something suspicious, then an ultrasound and finally a biopsy. In between were a lot of consultations and a lot of waiting to find out more.”
I shivered at the realization of what she’d been going through.
“That’s one reason I haven’t been around much – all those appointments got time-consuming. Regardless, I shouldn’t have kept you guessing. Of course, I didn’t know you were making these wild guesses. You might have said something.”
I scoffed. “Like what? ‘Hey, Mom, what’s for dinner and, by the way, are you and Dad getting divorced or something?’”
She nodded and handed me a tissue from the box on my nightstand. “Point taken.”
I blew my nose and made a decision. “Mom, while we’re covering mistakes, can I say that I’m really disappointed that you suggested I ask for the part of Alice back?” She cocked her head at the shift in topic. “I did it, you know. I asked Aimee, and it was the most humiliating thing I’ve ever done. I did the right thing when I quit, and then let you convince me to do the wrong thing.” I stopped, wondering if I’d gone too far.
“Mom? Say something?”
She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, buying time. “I’m trying to figure out why I did that. Your father and I were proud of you for taking a stand against something you thought was wrong – something that was wrong,” she corrected.
“I’m going to blame it on the cancer scare, okay, but don’t be mad because I do think that’s what clouded my judgment.” She rubbed her palm over her forehead, eyes down. “I didn’t know what was coming down the pike for me, and I had the crazy thought that this year’s show might be the last I would see. And I hated seeing you so depressed at not being involved. So I guess I thought if we could get you back into the cast, everything would be better.” She looked up at me. “Pretty stupid, huh? Do you forgive me?”
I blew my nose again, letting her suffer while she waited for an answer, before giving in.
“Yeah, I do. And you don’t have cancer. So now you can go back to giving good advice.”
She laughed. “And I’m not getting divorced either. So life is good, right?” It was a weak joke, but I smiled and put my arms around her for a good, long hug.
*
A
T CRUDUP HIGH, secrets were also being divulged.
Nigel’s parents stayed in Massachusetts the whole week before Christmas, to enjoy New England and, to their surprise I’m sure, deal with the consequences of their wayward son’s actions. Nigel’s punk attire was replaced by regular clothes. He told the other kids that he liked dressing like Edward and was sticking with that style for a while. I didn’t feel the need to expose that he was actually dressing for his parents.
Of course, the girls liked him just as much without the spiky hair and black clothes. Kristina researched English celebrities online and decided Nigel was cuter when he resembled Prince William than Johnny Rotten.
I don’t know what Nigel, Lucey and their parents decided to do about the baby. I’m sure that will become known after school vacation. But Nigel did come clean about his role in Lucey’s condition, letting Alex off the hook. The basketball coach nearly fainted with relief.
Mr. Lord was arrested, as expected. Bonnie wasn’t, as her only crime was dating a poser like Mr. Lord who pretended to be a big-time theatre star when really he was just a two-bit teacher in Smalltown, Massachusetts.
Mr. Ellison showed no ill effects from being kidnapped, and agreed that CDC should put on a spring show so he could end his run as director with a play that he liked, and that would be put together with, well, a little less drama.
*
T
HE LOOSE ENDS OF THE FALL semester were all tied up – if you can categorize teen pregnancy, a kidnapped teacher, interrupted friendships, and a show that almost wasn’t, as loose ends.
And then there was Alex. Opening night, after the show, when all the students hung around backstage congratulating the cast, he pretended everything was normal -- meaning like it had been the past few months. He basically ignored me, and our kiss in the wings.
In the back seat of my parents’ car as we rode home, his hand kept twitching and he wouldn’t look at me. I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or regretted his actions backstage. But then, when we were almost home, he pointed at my old blue-and-green friendship bracelet and smiled briefly. And after we got out of the car, he hugged me and said, “You were great,” before walking to his house.
On a double natural high from the show and getting Alex back, I floated into the house and up to my bedroom. Unable to sleep, I floated around my room for an hour or so, occasionally sneaking peaks at Alex’s window, which was dark, and singing snatches of songs from the show. Eventually, I floated onto my bed and off to deep, dreamless sleep.
The weekend after the show, Alex and I got some real time together and officially began dating. Sitting like boyfriend and girlfriend, holding hands on my living room couch, was really awkward the first time. To help, I jumped up and retrieved the box of our old videos. We watched every single one, reminiscing about the stories behind them, and laughing until we cried. That gave us back our history.
Then, we went out to his driveway to play basketball. He insisted on one-on-one, instead of Spot like we usually played. Me playing actual basketball was a joke and he knew it, but I soon realized one-on-one gave us the chance to make contact. We started elbowing each other and he pushed and pulled me where he wanted so he could make his shots.
As I watched his winning jumper swish through the net, he grabbed me around the waist from behind. “I really like you, Sadie Perkins,” he said near my ear. I squiggled around in his tight grasp to face him. “And I really missed your sarcasm all these months.”
I wrinkled my nose. “My sarcasm? Of all the things you could miss about me, that’s what you missed the most?”
“Well, what did you miss about me?” He pulled me tight against him. The hardness of his chest distracted me. I tried to concentrate.
Pulling his head down so I could get my mouth next to his ear, I said softly, “Everything.”
He slid his head back a few inches and turned to kiss me.
*
S
O NOW WE HAD OUR HISTORY and our future. It was the best of both worlds, dating your best friend. We talked about everything and nothing. We played basketball and walked Kato, like we used to. And he was goofy old Alex again. Plus, we perfected new pastimes like holding hands and making out.
I learned pretty quickly the difference between kissing Nigel and kissing Alex. With Alex, I still experienced warm squiggles coursing through me when we made out. But kissing Alex meant something more. In addition to feeling weak in the knees, I felt weak in my chest, like my heart was fainting with pleasure. A very tolerable weakness.
At school, to my amazement and consternation, I quickly became very popular – not because I starred in the school play and not even because I rescued Mr. Ellison. Personal growth and heroics apparently didn’t push you up the popularity scale. No, I became popular by default, from dating Alex. I didn’t know how I felt about my new status, but Adrienne and Alex advised me to just go with it. To be safe, Alex and I signed a secret pact:
“I, Sadie Perkins, and I, Alex Holman, sign this blood oath that no matter how popular we become, for good reasons or bad, we will not let our popularity go to our heads. Furthermore, we vow to each other and to the black, furry god Kato, that we will not change our essential personalities (unless agreed upon by both parties) even if, on some days, we have problems identifying what exactly those essential personalities are.”
As I signed my name with a proud, dramatic flourish, the last piece of my life slid into place. The stars were back in alignment and I was, definitely, back on kilter.
(BLACKOUT. CURTAINS CLOSE. END OF SADIE’S JUNIOR YEAR, ACT I.)
The End
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Theatre-loving S.M. Stevens has been involved in numerous high school, college and community theatre productions -- performing, and working stage crew and in the front of the house. She hopes
Bit Players
will introduce newcomers to the special world of theatre, and feel like an old friend to seasoned teen performers.
Share your thoughts on
Bit Players
, and musical theatre in general, at www.BitPlayers.me.