Authors: S. Stevens
Tags: #General, #Fiction
At the end of class, the teacher tapped on my shoulder, waking me up. “Your father’s going to take you home. The principal is excusing you for the rest of the day.”
Everyone stared as I left the classroom, dropped my books at my locker and left the school with my father.
He dropped me at home, asking ten times on the way if I would be okay alone, and returned to school. Mrs. Holman’s car was in their driveway so Alex must have been excused too.
I collapsed in bed, but couldn’t sleep. Mr. Ellison’s rescue, Alex and
Twilight: The Musical
spun together in my head like distorted kaleidoscope images. More and more, though, it was just Alex. How weird that I’d spent so many years being with him but hardly thinking about him, and now all I could do was think about him even though I hardly ever got to be with him.
I was so irritated with myself for liking him. It wasn’t right, taking him for granted all this time and then suddenly crushing on him because he got gorgeous.
I re-played in my head the shows we’d created over the years, from skits to full-length plays. We started by acting out
Peter Pan
and
Cinderella
, then moved on to
Harry Potter
and Nickelodeon and Disney Channel shows. We’d re-enact entire episodes of
Drake & Josh
, or
Hannah Montana
.
More often though, instead of re-creating someone else’s show, we’d write our own, alternating princess themes with superhero ones. We saved the planet from egotistical maniacs seeking world domination, and maidens from fiery dragons. We befriended other dragons and numerous misunderstood misfits who performed evil deeds only because people had been cruel to them. We played space rangers, power rangers and forest rangers. We played the roles of good guys, bad guys, animals and inanimate objects, often in the same skit.
I jumped up from my bed and dug into the back of my closet. Stuffed in the back under shoes I hardly wore was a box of the first videos we’d made when we moved into the digital age. At first, we’d con one of my parents into recording our shows. As we got older, we set up the camera ourselves, or used the webcam.
I flipped through the DVDs with the videos we’d made on the computer, laughing as I remembered each one…our spoof of “Potter Pals” from YouTube, which was already a spoof in itself…the famous last scene of
Casablanca
. I had to convince Alex to watch the movie, but by the end he loved it because it included war and battles. We acted out the Rick and Ilsa good-bye at the airport, from “The names are Mr. and Mrs. Victor Laszlo” to “Here’s looking at you, kid.” When the scene got too romantic, we broke down into giggles.
I dug into the older videos, those made with a video-camera and stored on tiny tapes that we stuck into a VHS-size converter and played on the old VCR. The first one I grabbed was labeled “Alex’s Birthday Card”. We’d made that one in sixth grade. It was a video birthday card for Mrs. Holman. We thought we were so cutting edge at the time. Alex gave me back the original after his mother watched it, because of course I kept everything. You never knew what might be helpful when applying for drama school.
I closed my eyes to press in the tears forming as nostalgia overwhelmed me. I remembered the day Alex asked me to help him make the card. His older brother had just been hauled off to jail for dealing drugs, a few years after Alex’s alcoholic and delinquent father left them high and dry, and Mrs. Holman was distraught. Alex wanted to do something special to cheer her up. I think he also wanted to remind her she still had a son who needed love, because he called the video, “Top 10 Reasons to Love Alex”. We were big into Top 10 lists at the time.
I went into Dad’s office, the only place in the house with a VCR, and popped the cassette into the machine. As I remembered, the video alternated text slides with snippets of Alex acting out the words.
Graphic slide: “Top 10 Reasons to Love Alex”
Graphic: #10 Because he’s fun
Cut to visual of Alex walking on his hands
Graphic: #9 He cleans him room (sometimes)
Visual of Alex, arms stretched wide, in a clean bedroom
Graphic: #8 He’s sweet
Visual of Alex eating candy
Graphic: #7 He brings you breakfast in bed
Visual of Alex carrying a tray of burned toast
Graphic: #6 He’s nice to animals.
Visual of Alex hugging Kato
Graphic: #5 He rides his bike everywhere so you don’t have to drive him.
Visual of Alex on his bicycle
Graphic: #4 When he breaks things, he always cleans up the mess.
Visual of Alex sweeping up broken bits of something
Graphic: #3 He’s strong and can move furniture now.
Visual of Alex carrying a kitchen chair
Graphic: #2 He’s going to be a famous basketball player someday so you can stop working.
Visual of Alex shooting hoops
Graphic: #1 He loves you more than anything in the world.
Visual of Alex kissing a photo of Mrs. Holman
Graphic: Happy Birthday, Mom!
It took us hours to clean his room for the video, but it was worth it to see the smile on his face when we shot that scene. I wanted a slide saying he was loyal, but we couldn’t think of a visual to go with it. And we debated for ages whether or not to actually break a dish or a glass for #4. Alex wanted the real thing. I thought Mrs. Holman might get mad and suggested we cut up pieces of paper to look like a broken plate. In the end, we poked around the park until we found a discarded bottle. We took it home and smashed it on the sidewalk in front of Alex’s house, scooped up the pieces and scattered them on his kitchen floor.
I watched the video a second time, pausing it on the picture of Alex with his Mom’s photo. That look on his face. It was the same look I’d seen on his face in the car that morning, when he gave me a high-five.
I realized something with a slow but intense jolt, as if someone were pressing knowledge into my unwilling brain. Since Alex came back from California, I’d been trying to find the old Alex in the new one -- to connect my friend of the past eight years to the new and improved Alex. But I had it backwards. I should have been looking for the new Alex in the old one – the one I knew better. Because there he was -- the new Alex -- right here in the video frame.
His smile in the picture, even with crooked teeth, was the same knee-weakening smile he’d given me in the car. His eyes were the same penetrating green, and as kind as always. The shape of his eleven-year-old face was even the same – minus the razor stubble. The new Alex was there all along, in the old Alex – my old Alex. I just didn’t see it.
I took the video out of the machine and hugged it to my chest. I wasn’t a horrible person after all. I didn’t decide to be his friend only when he grew six inches and gained twenty-five pounds. Idiotically, that’s when I stopped being his friend. More important, the Alex I’d always loved, as a friend, was the same Alex that I now had a major crush on. And I didn’t love him
because
he was hot. It just took him being hot for me to realize how I felt.
I could never tell him this. It might ruin everything. Suddenly, I didn’t want a boyfriend any more. I just wanted my best friend back, for good. That was enough. My gut unclenched for the first time in weeks, soothed by a warm peace I recognized – it was my general state-of-being when Alex was around.
Feeling re-born, I went to my computer and pulled up the songs I’d collected in my iTunes library for
Twilight: The Musical
. Putting the script next to the computer on the desk, I ran through the show three times, until satisfied I knew it inside and out. Thanking my lucky stars I’d been let out of school early, I set my alarm clock for two hours later and lay down to nap.
*
I
GOT TO THE SCHOOL three hours before curtain. Costumes and make-up were easy for this show – street clothes and a little make-up so I didn’t look washed-out under the stage lights. The vampires, on the other hand, were using a thin coat of white pancake make-up. Still, I didn’t want to rush. I wanted to check Lucey’s costumes and take my time with my make-up. Plus, I needed to get into the zone. I’d wanted this moment so badly, but I could have used more mental preparation time. Much like the adventure with Mr. Ellison at Burning Barn, this felt surreal. I wanted to wake up and be present so I could enjoy it all.
My wake-up call came soon, in the form of Nigel, who caught me alone in the hallway between the classrooms used for costumes and make-up. His brown hair was less spiky than usual, but still swept up and messy, with bronze powder dusted over it. Gone were the leather jacket and Doc Marten boots, replaced with a simple V-neck jersey and more subdued boots. His black jeans survived the transition to Edward Cullen. Altogether, he made a handsome vampire, if completely different than Robert Pattinson. To my surprise, I didn’t feel the usual twinge of longing in my chest when he approached me.
“Hey, my Sadie, or should I say, my Bella? Ready to get it on with your Edward?” he asked, giving me an air kiss so his make-up wouldn’t smudge. “We can step outside and practice our kiss for real, if you’d like.”
“Ugh, Nigel, do you ever stop?” His expectant face fell.
“Why are your knickers in a twist? It’s you and me, like old times. Troy and Gabriella.”
I rolled my eyes. “Nigel, you dumped me. What’s good about our ‘old times’?” He had no answer. “Besides, what about Lucey? Don’t you think you’re being a little unfair to her?”
Normally smooth Nigel stammered. “Lucey— I-- we broke up a while ago, you know that. So she’s got nothing to do with anything.”
“Doesn’t she?” I asked, hoping my suspicion was correct so I didn’t sound like the world’s biggest tosser with my next comment. I stepped closer to Nigel and lowered my voice. “Come on, Nigel, tell me the truth. You got Lucey pregnant, didn’t you?”
His color drained, making him even whiter than Edward. “She told you that?”
“She didn’t have to. Nigel, why would you lie, and let Alex take the blame? He might get kicked off the basketball team because of you.”
“You don’t know it was me. Anyway, she’s already denied it so nobody will believe you.” He stormed down the hallway, muttering “See you on stage, Bella,” in a shaky voice.
The whole exchange made my mouth dry and my hands clammy. How was I going to be Bella to Nigel’s Edward when he was such a lying weasel? I tried to assume the cool persona of a professional actor, but the sixteen-year-old high school student kept sneaking through the cracks of that façade. My acting skills would be severely tested when I had to look lovingly at Edward, and sing longingly for Edward, and – of course – kiss Edward.
Because I was still stewing on this when I went to collect my first costume, I didn’t notice the pretty, dark-haired girl flipping through the clothing rack on the other side from me. We reached for the hanger holding Bella’s jeans, jersey and hoodie at the same time.
I squeezed out one word.
“Bonnie?”
25: The Difference Between Real Life and Make-Believe
SADIE
UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
BONNIE
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I’VE GOT A SHOW TO DO, RIGHT? I’M BELLA, AND THIS IS A GOOD ROLE FOR ME. I’M A THEATRE MAJOR AT THE UNIVERSITY, YOU KNOW. HEY, THERE WILL BE A DVD OF THIS OR SOMETHING, RIGHT?
(BONNIE SMILES, APPARENTLY CLUELESS WHO SADIE IS. SADIE GAWKS. A FEW CAST MEMBERS GATHER AROUND.)
FOSTER
(WITH MOCK POLITENESS)
EXCUSE ME, MR. LORD’S WENCH?
(SWITCHING TO AN ANGRY VOICE)
BACK OFF! THIS IS SADIE’S SHOW, AND SADIE IS BELLA, NOT YOU!
(BONNIE FLICKS HER HAND AT HIM AS IF HE WERE A FLY.)
(BY NOW, ABOUT TEN PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THE DISCUSSION, SOME NODDING IN SUPPORT OF FOSTER. BEN OPENS HIS MOUTH BUT SADIE PUTS UP A HAND TO STOP HIM.)
SADIE
BONNIE? IT IS BONNIE, RIGHT?
(BONNIE NODS UNCERTAINLY.)
YOU’VE BEEN HERE SUCH A SHORT TIME, I WASN’T REALLY SURE. ANYWAY, YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS, BUT I WROTE THE SCRIPT FOR THIS SHOW. AND I BASICALLY ASSISTANT DIRECTED IT IN THE END, FIXING THINGS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND – THE SUPPOSED THEATRE STAR -- COULDN’T. AND TONIGHT, I’M GOING TO PLAY THE PART OF BELLA.