Bite Me (Devlin Haskell 3) (11 page)

At least with the
murder charge I was guaranteed a cell all to myself. Not that it improved my sleep. The following afternoon we were on the fifth floor, in my favorite interrogation room. Detectives Manning, Heller and LaZelle seated across from me and my estimable attorney, Louie Laufen, dutifully at my side. Louie had to be wondering what in the hell he’d gotten himself into.

We’d been in the
interrogation room for quite some time. Long enough for me to determine the city of St. Paul must have cornered the market on grey paint and the lowest bidder had won the contract for the air filtration system. The overhead fluorescent light flickered in perfect time to my throbbing headache.

“And you have no recollection of driving to Mister Barkwell’s hom
e?” Manning asked for the umpteenth time.

I looked a
t Louie, just like I’d done all morning and most of this afternoon, before I answered.

Louie gave a slight nod.

“Look, I’ve told you guys a thousand times before. I have no recollection of the night. I sort of remember, maybe, a third drink, then it’s pretty blank up until the time your goons tasered me in the bathroom.”

“I think my
client, Mister Haskell, has been fairly consistent on this point, he simply does not recall anything from the night in question,” Louie added.

“Pretty convenient,” Heller quipped, he’d been acting the
part of the bad cop for the past few hours.

“Look, if I could remember anything I’d tell you,” I pleaded.

They sat stone faced and stared back at me.

“I’ve no idea where Barkwell
even lives.”

“And yet we have a 911 call reporting a
red 1995, Cadillac DeVille, weaving across the center lane shortly after three in the morning, not four blocks from Thompson Barkwell’s home. Amazingly, you drive a red 1995, Cadillac DeVille, don’t you?” Heller asked.

“No.”

“No?”

“My car’s
more of a burgundy.”

“Oh.”

“Broken left tail light?”

“No, it just shorts out once in
a while.”

“So it might have at least appeared to be broken, even if it was only a short?” Heller asked.

Louie shook his head.

“Possibly,” I felt on pretty solid ground.

“Blue door on the passenger side?”

“Well, yeah, I guess so.”

“You guess so. Surprise, surprise, a vehicle very similar to yours is spotted in the vicinity at close to the approximate time of death. And, the following day we find Thompson Barkwell beaten to death in the basement of his home with your invoice stuffed in his mouth,” Heller said.

“I don’t know anything about that.”

“You’d expressed to me personally, the day we met in the K-R-A-Z offices that you were expecting some difficulty in getting paid, isn’t that correct?” Manning jumped in.

“
Oh, I don’t know.”

“I think you suggested
you weren’t happy about having some sort of board review your invoice, is that correct?”

“No, well
, what I meant was…”

“Don’t answer that,” Louie said.

“The board was going to review my invoice and I didn’t want to wait for a month before the board met, that’s all. I wasn’t worried about getting approved, just the time frame,” I thought my explanation sounded reasonable.

“So you thought you’d go over after a few drinks and get the check, right?”

“No.”

“You were pretty upset when Thompson Barkwell
gave you the check, weren’t you?” Heller again.

“No.
”

“Did you assault him?” Heller asked.

“No.”

“You didn’t assault anyone?”

“No.”

“Do you know a Matthias C. Hogue?” Manning jumped in.

“No.”

“He claims you assaulted him, during your meeting when Thompson Barkwell paid your invoice.”

“Don’t answer that,” Louie said.

“Bullshit. I didn’t assault… Wait, you don’t mean that fool in the camouflage?
The little fat guy? He had a gun for Christ sake, I just disarmed him is all.”

“And threatened Mister Hogue
and Mister Barkwell?”

“Don’t answer that?” Louie said.

“No.”

“You didn’t point your
hand like a pistol and shoot Mister Hogue and Mister Barkwell, in fact make to shoot Barkwell twice?”

“Don’t answer that,” Louie said.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t a threat, it was a warning.”

“A warning?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Gentlemen, might we take a brief moment, I’d like to confer with my client
,” Louie said, sounding frustrated.

Heller exhaled loudly then nodded, got up from the table and walked out. Manning and Aaron followed. Aaron looked at me on the way out and shook his head. As soon as they
were out of the room Louie glared at me and said, “What the hell are you doing?”

“I thought…”

“Don’t think. I didn’t think it was possible, but you’ve managed to find some even thinner ice and push us out onto it. Jesus Christ will you Shut. The. Hell. Up. Dev. You are not helping.”

“But I…”

“No, just shut up.” He glanced at his watch, “it’s almost five, I’m calling it quits for the day. Remember what I told you, someone asks you how you want your eggs done you don’t answer unless I tell you what to say, got it?”

I nodded.

“Good, now not another word, it’s only the rest of your life we’re dealing with here.”

Despite the
luxurious private
cell and paper thin pad for a mattress I didn’t sleep worth a damn. We were back at it by ten the following morning, in same room, with the same flickering light, only I think the place smelled a little worse.

Louie threatened to strangle me if I said one word without his express approval. I’d been responding to the same questions
for the past couple of hours, only this time with one word answers after the okay from Louie. Aaron wasn’t with us, but Heller seemed to have more than enough fire in his belly to pick up any slack.

“So, you know
, I was thinking last night. How do you guess a great looking woman like Kiki ended up with a fat load like Thompson Barkwell?” Heller sort of glanced around the room, today we were all just pals talking.

“No wonder she was attracted to you, right?” he said.

I didn’t respond.

“
So then I got to wondering, when you went over to Barkwell’s the other night it’s amazing you didn’t get stopped for speeding. I mean good looking woman like that, tied to the bed just waiting for you. Must have been tough to even leave, right?”

I stared straight faced.

“You drive over there on Snelling or did you take Hamline, you know and avoid the construction?”

“I don’t think my client was able to take either route actually, Detective Heller. While I understand you
’ve got some serious problems on your hands, the murder of Thompson Barkwell and the supposed rape of his estranged wife, I’m sure you received the same report I finally got this morning. Mister Haskell’s toxicology results? You did receive the report didn’t you?” Louie asked, and then pulled a manila folder out of his briefcase.

He lowered his head and
made a show of pulling his reading glasses down slightly, then peered over the top across the table at Heller and Manning.

Heller nodded
, but didn’t say anything.

“I
f I might bring your attention to page three, paragraph two, of the toxicology report gentlemen. This is the analytical report regarding Mister Haskell’s urinalysis and blood workup.”

Heller and Manning suddenly appeared crestfallen. Heller thumbed through his file until he brought out four or five pages stapled together in the upper left corner.

“Good,” Louie smiled coldly. “If you’d care to follow from the second sentence as I read.” He cleared his throat then began, “detection of sufficient quantity of flunitrazepam with the resulting effect of profound intoxication, an inability to remember events, possible amnesia, and excessive sedation. Other adverse effects include gastrointestinal disturbances lasting twelve hours or more. Gentlemen, someone fed my client Ecstasy and Roofies,” Louie said and casually tossed his copy of the toxicology report on the table.

“I’m afraid that sounds just a little too convenient,” Heller stammered.

“Look you’ve pounded on my client for almost three days here. Mister Haskell can’t remember a thing. Your own report indicates he was so severely drugged he was incapable of functioning. Let’s face it, he’s been set up. If I were you, I’d be out there looking to find out who and why?”

Amazingly
, Louie seemed to have taken the wind out of their sails and they never got it back. I was back in my private cell by three that afternoon. About three-thirty, Louie and a sheriff’s deputy escorted a young woman to my cell. Although I couldn’t see them I could hear their approach based on all the whistles and cat calls.

“Dev, Amanda Nguyen, Amanda, Dev Haskell,” Louie introduced her through the
window in the steel door. The sheriff’s deputy gave a nod back down the corridor to the central area so they would open my cell door. It was all computerized and the door opened electronically.

“Nice to meet you,” Amanda smiled, oblivious to her surroundings or the
cat calls and whistles that continued. She stepped into my cell as the door opened with an audible click.

She was a gorgeous A
sian woman just a little over five feet. I felt like I’d been locked up for years instead of a couple of days and couldn’t help but stare. I hoped I wasn’t too obvious as I attempted to suck in all her perfume.

“Doctor Nguyen is going
to take that dental impression,” Louie said.

I looked around for someone else and she picked up on my stupid look.

“I’m a forensic odontologist,” she said, snapping open the briefcase she set on my bed.

“What?
” I replied.

“A forensic odontologist, a dentist
, in plain English.”

“She’s going to analyze the bite mark on Misses Barkwell,” Louie offered.

“We’re going to do a couple of things. First,” she said, then opened a Tupperware sort of container and pulled out what looked like a mouth guard. “I’m going to take upper and lower impressions. Have a seat,” she indicated the bed with a nod of her beautiful head. I caught another hint of perfume. It sure as hell beat the normal smells in my cell.

She took two impressions,
and told me more than I wanted to know while she did so.

“
I’ll use a G-clamp and a semi-adjustable articulator on these casts. I’ll be able to articulate the maxillary and mandibular positions, relative to one another. I can adjust the condylar angle, incisal and cuspid guidance and the shape of the glenoid fossae and eminintiae. Normally, I’d have to use a face bow, but I think not for this application.”

I just sort of made a noise pretending I understood as I sat there with five pounds of plaster shoved in my
open mouth.

She turned to Louie and said,
“I’ll run the usual tests on porcine skin, compare it to a life size photo. I’ve got the thing downloaded and ready to be enhanced.” Then she turned toward me and yanked the plaster cast off my upper jaw, it made a loud sucking sound. She slapped the lid on her Tupperware and nodded to the deputy, then turned back to me.

“
With any luck, we’ll at least be able to prove it wasn’t you who bit the lady in the ass. It’s been real,” she said, reached in her briefcase and pulled out a sucker with a soft string handle.

“It
s okay, Ramsey County Jail approved,” she smiled at the deputy. He shrugged and they exited my cell, the sound of whistles and cat calls echoed down the hall following them as they departed.

I
lingered in the remnants of the good doctor’s perfume for as long as I could.

Eleven the following morning
I was escorted by a deputy to a wooden chair at the courtroom table where Louie sat reading notes. We were on the third floor of the Ramsey County Courthouse, my bail hearing. The room had some sort of polished, dark wood paneling on all four walls. At the front of the room stood an alter-like affair, heavily carved and rising about fifteen feet into air. I slid into the hard wooden chair next to Louie, but was interrupted before I could really say anything to him.

“All rise,” the court officer called
and everyone stood. Louie was on my left. We sat at one of two mahogany tables. He wore a pressed, dark blue suit with red silk pocket cloth. He was shaved, scrubbed and reeked of men’s cologne. The prosecutors, there were two of them at the other table, both square built butch-looking women, appeared frighteningly business-like in their matching grey suits. They seemed to be reveling in the task. I was sure they possessed a not so secret hate of all men and not so much as a hint of a sense of humor.

For this event I had changed from my county issued orange jump suit to a navy blue suit, starched white shirt, conservative tie and shined shoes. My entire ensemble was set off by a pair of nicely buffed steel handcuffs which the prosecuting attorneys insisted I wear. I didn’t know them well enough
, but it seemed to suggest they might be kinky.

“Look relax, it’s just a ploy, court room theatrics at your bail hearing. I’ve been up against these two
dykes before,” Louie whispered.

“Did you win?”

“Sometimes,” he replied, a little too off handedly for my tastes.

The judge e
ntered, and took her seat on the bench. It wasn’t my first time in court but I couldn’t recall ever seeing her before. She seemed to sit a lot higher than other judges I recalled.

“Oh shit,” Louie hissed under his breath
just as she looked down on us.

I was about to ask him what was wrong when the judge spoke.

“Thank you, I’m Judge Helen Slaughter, filling in for Judge Spofford this morning. It seems his honor had a minor traffic accident on the way in and is unable to sit at this proceeding. Therefore without further delay, let us begin in the matter of …” she glanced down at something in front of her.

“
Ramsey County, versus one Devlin Haskell, bail hearing. Miss Metry, prosecuting for the city. Nice to see you this morning and are you ready, Miss Metry?”

“We are your honor.”

“And representing Mister Haskell, Mister Laufen, wouldn’t you know. Are you ready, sir?”

“We are yo
ur honor,” Louie said, standing and then continued. “Your honor, if it would please the court. We would like…”

“It does not please this court, as you undoubtedly know, Mister Laufen.”

“Your honor, I was merely about…”

“That will be enough, Mister Laufen.”

Louie, sat down and fought to appear in control while one of the prosecuting dykes read out the laundry list of charges against me. She stopped a couple of times to glance over at me as if she couldn’t believe the crimes I was being charged with.

Kidnapping, false imprisonment, rape, assault, sexual assault,
and resisting arrest for warm ups. Then the kicker, she paused a half beat, glanced at me again and read the charge.

“M
urder.”

She went on to suggest I was a danger to society and a flight risk. Frankly
, listening to the charges, even I wouldn’t grant me bail.

Louie argued I had a business and a home and constituted no risk what-so-ever.

In just under eight minutes the thing was done, bail set at five hundred thousand dollars, half a million bucks. And, if and when I did get out, I would be wearing an ankle bracelet and required to check in with authorities, daily.

We were in a holding cell, Louie and I.
He had replaced the plastic dry cleaning bag over my suit, straightened my coat on the hanger. I was stepping back into my orange jump suit as we talked.

“That seemed to go okay.” Louie said, undoing his tie and then unbuttoning the top two buttons on his shirt.
The open area of his collar immediately filled with a couple of chins.

“Okay? A half million bucks for
bail? I gotta wear an ankle bracelet if and when I even do get out, that’s your idea of okay? No offense, Louie, but could things have gone much worse?”

“You kidding, this judge, you’re lucky you’re not in some dark hole doing solitary confinement. She has no problem denying someone bail. I’d say we got lucky wi
th all the news reports of overcrowding and that bullshit due to state budget cuts. Otherwise, well like I said…”

“So how soon can I get out?”

“Just as soon as you can get someone to post for you. Any ideas who might have that kind of dough stuffed in a mattress?”

“
No, not really, ten percent of a half million, five grand, hell,” I said.

“Actually, that would be fifty grand, Dev.”

“Oh shit.”

“Any ideas?”

“Yeah, well there is one person, Heidi Bauer, a friend. She’s posted bail for me before, I just don’t know about the number, I mean fifty grand.”

“You better go for the gold her
e, Dev, otherwise you’re gonna just have to get comfortable with your cell.”

“I’m not sure she’s exactly talking to me, just now.”

“Why, what happened?”

“Nothing, don’t worry. I didn’t assault her or anything, we just sort of agreed to disagree.”

“And she can make your bail?”

“Yeah, I think so
, but the question is would she?”

“So call her, the worst she can do is say no.
You’ll be no further behind than you are now.”

“Y
ou think?” I half hesitated, Heidi was gonna freak with another bail call from me.

“What, you can’t seriously enjoy being locked up, can you?”

“No, it’s just if I call her to post bail for me, again. This might be the safest place for me, locked up with armed guards to keep her away.”

“Deal with it. Look, you call her, give me her number
, I’ll do a follow up. She the mother of a child, or one of your ex-wives, or anything like that?”

I shook my head no as I zipped up the orange
Ramsey County jump suit and then held out my wrists so the deputy could handcuff me. “No, not an ex wife, I don’t have any children.”

“Like I say, unless you like
being locked up, I mean it’s your choice. I’ll check in with you at the end of the day. I want to give old Doc Nguyen a call in the meantime.”

“Who?”

“Stands about this tall,” he held a fat hand about chest high. “Gorgeous, Asian, sexy, gave you the oral treatment yesterday and then something to suck on.”

The deputy kept his face expressionless
, but his eyes moved from Louie to me, then back to Louie.

“Oh, yeah, Doctor Drop Dead Gorgeous
.”

“Just c
hecking to see if you were breathing. I’ll be in touch, take care,” he said.

“Thanks, Louie.”

He took a few steps, then turned at the doorway.

“And remember
, not a word about anything to anyone, got it?”

“Yeah, got it.”