Black Girls and Bad Boys: Changing his Tune (6 page)

He hesitated, afraid of what he was thinking of doing. Her full,
plump lips drew his eye. He was lost. Kissing her was inevitable, no matter how
bad an idea it was. He moved closer, lowering his face to hers.

“Noah! What the hell is going on?”

Almost jumping away from her, he looked up and saw John striding
across the grass towards them.

Folding her arms around herself like a shield, Angelique watched
John come closer and lost all ability to speak.

“I only came over here because I was restless. Thank god I did.” He
blustered over to Noah. “I’ve thrown all those wasters out. Please tell me you
haven’t been drinking.” He took him by the shoulders and looked him in the eye.

She dared to hope he hadn’t noticed what he’d interrupted.

“I haven’t had a drink. Or anything else.”

“Tell me the truth. I need to know what sort of damage control is on
the cards.”

“John, I swear I haven’t touched anything.”

Finally, he looked over at Angelique. “You. You’re fired.”

“Wait a minute, John. She didn’t—”

“No. She let that lot throw some wild party and bring a load of
alcohol in the house.”

“But she—”

“Forget it.” He turned his attention back to her. “It’s late, so you
can stay tonight. But I want you gone in the morning.” Pointing his finger in
Noah’s face he added “And don’t think I didn’t see what you two were up to out
here. That’s not what I hired her for.” He turned on his heel and marched inside.

No room for argument. John had spoken.

She headed for the door.

“Angie, wait.”

She stopped. “You heard what he said. I’m fired.” It was her own
fault. She should have followed her instincts and got rid of Dave at lunchtime.
“Just... Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t let anyone drag you into
anything.” John would get him a new assistant. Noah was already doing better – he’d
improved in the short length of time she’d been there. If he’d managed to stay
in that party without taking anything – even after that taste of lager – he’d
be fine. Twenty-four hours ago he would have been glad to see the back of her.

“I’ll talk to him. He’ll have calmed down by tomorrow. I’ll explain
what happened.”

“What, that I let you have a booze-fuelled party even though I knew
it was a bad idea? That I turned down his offer of help out of stubbornness?”

“You spoke to him?”

She nodded. “I didn’t tell him about the party. I said I had
everything under control.” That was laughable. She hadn’t been in control of
anything since she set foot in Noah’s house.

“You were just looking out for me. Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk
to him in the morning. You’ll see.” He looked so sure. So hopeful.

Her eyes roamed his face, taking everything in – the slightly drawn
cheeks, the light dusting of stubble, the square jaw. His brown eyes looked
black in the low light outside. Then she looked at the lips she’d come so close
to kissing. What had she been thinking? What had either of them been thinking?

She fixed every bit of his face in her memory and then she went
inside. If she was right, she might never see him in the flesh again.

––––––––

W
hen Noah’s alarm went off, he almost flicked it to a stop and went
back to sleep, but then he remembered why he’d set it in the first place.

Angie.

He jumped out of bed, pulled on his dressing gown and burst out of
his room. She wasn’t next door. In fact, none of her lotions and potions were
out on the dressing table either. His heart sped up. She couldn’t have gone
already. It wasn’t even eight o’clock yet.

He raced downstairs and started searching the rooms. No one in the
kitchen. No one in the conservatory. When he reached the first sitting room, he
found John drinking a cup of coffee.

“You’re up early, aren’t you?”

“Where is she?”

“If you mean Angelique, I expect she’s gone home.”

“Home? When?”

“I don’t know. Late last night. Early this morning. The door to her
room was open when I checked first thing and all her stuff was gone.”

Clutching at his dressing gown, he sank into a chair. “Then get her
back. Call her up and ask her to come back.”

“Noah, she fucked up. She was supposed to keep your nose clean and
she let that bunch of losers in here.”

“It wasn’t her fault.”

“No? Whose was it then?”

He wrapped his robe tighter around himself and lowered his head,
speaking almost into his chest. “Mine. It was my fault.” He should have
listened to her and sent them packing.

“That’s all very noble and everything, but if she couldn’t control
you she shouldn’t have taken the job. No, I’ll find someone more capable to look
after you.”

“But she needs this job.” He thought of her little boy and to his
shame he couldn’t even remember his name.

“Not my problem. We can’t afford to have you giving in to
temptation.”

“Please, John. Give her another chance. It was working.”

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I’ll start looking today and
hopefully have someone by the end of the week.”

He could picture it already – some hulking great orderly type with a
shaved head who’d manhandle him if he got too close to the pub. Why hadn’t he
got rid of Dave when she’d asked him to?

“Look, I know you liked her, but it was a bad idea getting a woman
in the first place.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

John smiled like he was humouring him. “Why don’t you get yourself
some breakfast?”

“I’m not hungry.” He knew he sounded like a petulant teenager, but
he couldn’t stop himself.

“How about doing some more work on the new tracks then? It’ll take
your mind off things.”

That wasn’t such a bad idea. He’d noodle on the guitar and try to
figure out what to do next. There was no way he’d let John find a replacement
for Angie. She’d helped him. He needed her.

And the kiss? Well, that hadn’t even happened, had it? They’d just
got caught up in the moment. It was only to be expected when they spent so much
time together.

He’d find a way for her to come back and they’d forget all about it.

***

T
hree weeks later and Angelique had just about stopped beating
herself up over the fiasco with Noah Trent. As long as she didn’t think about
lawyers or custody hearings, she could almost bear to look at herself in the
mirror.

She’d been lucky really – John had made The Cloister sign an
agreement to take her back when her stint with Noah was over, so at least she
had a job to go back to.

It wasn’t much of a consolation when she thought about the money
she’d lost out on and what it could have done for her. Which is why she did her
best not to think about those things.

Slipping back into her old routine proved frighteningly easy. After
the first few days, it was like she’d never been away. She went through the
motions on autopilot. Every day at work was the same.

Until the day she got a message that someone was asking for her on
the phone.

She had no idea who it could be – no one ever called her at The
Cloister. And then she started to worry. It was bound to be bad news. There was
no other reason for anyone to phone her.
Please don’t let it be Lewis.

There was only one telephone in the place – in the manager’s office.
She made her way through the corridors and knocked on the door. Andy called her
in and nodded to the phone.

Taking the call off hold, she put the receiver to her ear. “Hello?”

“Hello, Angelique. It’s John.”

“John?” She glanced at Andy, he was busy on his computer.

“Yes, John Lawson. Noah Trent’s manager.”

She froze. What was he going to accuse her of now? Unless she was
wrong and something had happened to Noah. “What is it? What’s happened?”

“Nothing to be alarmed about. I’d like to offer you your job back.”

She stood in silence, staring off into space. That couldn’t be
right. She must have misheard. “My job back?”

“Yes, if you’re willing to take it.”

“Why? I don’t understand.”

“Noah’s off on tour soon and we thought you’d be the best person to
go along with him.” He oozed oily diplomacy down the line. Something didn’t
smell right.

“Is he there?”

He paused. “Not at the moment I’m afraid. He’s busy in rehearsals.”

That did sound plausible. After her initial disappointment, she
found she was relieved she didn’t have to talk to him. She’d run off without
saying goodbye – without saying anything. It would be too awkward to have to
explain herself to him. “I’m sorry, John, I can’t take the job. I’m settled
where I am.” She hung up the phone before he tried to talk her into it. There
was no point looking back.

But the money...

She pushed the thought aside. All the money in the world wouldn’t be
enough to argue away what she’d done. She’d let her son down – got drunk day
after day when he’d needed her to look after him. She didn’t deserve to get him
back.

Straightening her uniform, she went back out to do her penance.

***

“S
he said no?”

John nodded. “She said she couldn’t take the job and hung up on me.”

Noah couldn’t believe it. After all those weeks showing John he
could be trusted and begging him to get her back, she’d turned around and said
no. “It must have been the way you asked her. What did you say?”

“Nothing. I asked her if she wanted her job back and she said no.”

It hadn’t even crossed his mind that she might not want to come
back. “But what about her son?”

“What?”

“Nothing.” He hadn’t shared that information with him. It felt like
betraying her to say anything to John. “What am I going to do now?”

“Go on tour and make shedloads of money.” This all suited John
perfectly – he’d made it clear he still thought Noah was thinking with his trousers.

He shook his head. “I’m not ready.”

“Course you are. You’ve managed without her up until now.”

“No. I’m not.” The only thing that had got him this far was the idea
that she’d come on tour with him and keep him steady. What would happen when
the first gig was over and someone brought out a celebratory bottle? John said
they’d make it a dry tour – no drink or drugs for anyone involved – but how the
hell was that going to work?

“I need to talk to her.”

“Here.” John held out the phone. “It’s the last number I dialled.”

“No.” Noah got up. “In person.”

“You’re kidding me, right? There’s no time. You said you wanted to
oversee the digital release of the album and you’ve still got to pack for the
tour. You’ve got rehearsal time booked in the studio with the band.”

“I’ll be back for rehearsals.” He went to the door. “You deal with
the other stuff.”

“Noah!”

He slipped out of the front door before John came up with another
five reasons why he couldn’t go.

––––––––

A
ngelique reached the bottom of the drive, waved her fob at the
Cloister gates and stepped out onto the street. The weather was good enough for
her to forget the bus and walk home. Rooting around in her bag for her
cigarettes, she turned the corner without looking.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

She almost walked straight into Noah. He moved neatly out of the
way.

After stopping for a moment, she marched past him.

“Hey!” He jogged to catch up with her and they walked together for a
while.

Eventually, she couldn’t take the silence any more. “I already told
John I’m not coming.”

“Why?” He came to a stop and she did too. “Why won’t you come? I
need you.”

She looked into his big, brown eyes. It had been so much easier to
turn John down over the phone. “You seem fine to me. I can tell you’re clean.”
He’d even put a little weight on. Not too much. Just enough to make him fill
out his t-shirt in a way that he hadn’t before.

“Tour’s different.” His easy manner slipped and she saw how worried
he was.

“I’m sure your new assistant will look after you.” Her mind skimmed
over the idea of someone else in her place, sleeping in the room next door to
his, sitting across from him at the dinner table. After what had almost
happened in the garden that night, John was bound to have hired a man, but in
her imagination it was always a woman.

“There is no new assistant. I didn’t want anyone else.” He looked
away, his silence leaving so much unsaid. “Please, Angie. You know what it’s
like.”

“Which is why I can’t get mixed up in something like that. You’re
nervous about going on tour – how do you think it would be for me?” Ten times
worse – at least he was a part of that world. She had no experience of touring
with a band. She’d be on the back foot right from the start.

“Please. Hear me out. Let me buy you a coffee.”

She wanted to. That’s why she didn’t say no straight away. Her
hesitation brought a smile to his lips.

“Come on. My car’s round the corner.” He took off with that boyish
exuberance she remembered.

One coffee. And then she’d politely turn him down and go on with her
life.

***

N
oah had no idea where to go for coffee, but Angie said she knew a
place not too far away so he followed her directions and found a parking spot
across the road.

It was a bit twee for his liking – more afternoon tea than skinny
latte – but they hadn’t gone there for the ambience. He had to find a way to
make her come on tour with him. It wasn’t until he set eyes on her again that
he realised how much he’d missed her. Whether she felt the same or not, he
considered her a friend. And he had too few of those left to lose her too.

He ordered the coffees and a matronly woman in glasses brought them
over. “So, you didn’t have any trouble with The Cloister taking you back?”

“No. I think they see me as a marketing gimmick now – ‘Noah Trent’s
personal assistant’.”

“And you’re happy there?”

She nodded. “I like the work.”

Leaning over the table, he raised his eyebrows. “And you get to meet
interesting people.”

She gave him the kind of smile he used to get from aunties when he
was a little boy.

“But you can’t be earning enough to take your ex back to court.”

Her smile vanished. She took her mug in her hands, turning it on the
table top.

“Isn’t that enough reason to come back?”

She said nothing, retreating further inside herself.

“Angie?”

She kissed her teeth at him. “I hate it when people call me that.”

“I’m sorry.” He’d got so used to calling her Angie, he’d pretty much
forgotten why he’d started doing it. “Don’t you want to see your son? Have him
spend time with you?”

“He’s better off without me.” She ran a finger up and down the
outside of the mug, refusing to meet his eye.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do. I was being selfish. He probably doesn’t even remember me.”

“Jesus, Angie-Angelique. You’re just scared.”

She finally looked up at him. “So what if I am? I’ve missed out on
over two years of his life. He’ll be a different person now.”

“So get to know him. You’re his mother.”

She shook her head. “I can’t.”

He reached across the table for her hand, but didn’t take it. “Can
I?”

When she looked at him, her eyes were bright with tears that she
blinked away. She nodded and he took hold of her. Despite the heat from her
coffee, the backs of her fingers were cool. He held her hand lightly, not
wanting to push his luck.

“You want to see him, don’t you?”

Clamping her lips in a tight line, she nodded.

“Then let me help you. You’ve helped me. Let me do the same.”

“What if he hates me?”

He ran his thumb over the back of her hand. What must it be like to
spend two years without your child? To know that he’s out there growing up without
you when he used to be a part of your flesh? “He doesn’t hate you. You’re his
mum.”

“But Wesley must have told him all sorts of awful things about me.”

“Where do they live?”

“About twenty minutes from here.”

He got his phone out and looked at the time. Twenty minutes there,
twenty minutes back. Who knew how long to talk things through. They wouldn’t be
done in time for rehearsals.

But this was more important. He switched off his phone. John was
bound to call when he didn’t show up. “Do you know the postcode? For the
Satnav.”

“No. But I know how to get there.”

He got up and beckoned for her to do the same. “You can direct me
then.”

“No. We can’t go over there.”

“Why not? You’re dry. You’ve got a responsible job. You lead a
respectable life and you want to see your son. Let’s go and talk to your ex.
The worst that can happen is he tells us to go away.”

Her eyes darted over his face, searching for answers he wasn’t sure
he had. “Okay.”

He nodded. “Okay.” He’d come looking for her to change her mind
about the tour, but now he found he wasn’t so concerned about that any more.
She needed to do what was right for her. If that meant staying put at The
Cloister, then he’d just have to manage on his own.

***

N
oah tried to make conversation on the way over to Wesley’s, but
Angelique felt too sick to speak. Could she really be about to see her baby boy
after so long? It seemed like too much to hope for.

And then they were there – deep in the heart of suburbia, surrounded
by privet hedges and well-oiled gates. Wesley’s house hadn’t changed since
she’d last been there. It may have had a few new layers of paint over the past
two years, but it still had the same dark blue front door and the same lace
curtains in the windows.

She paused outside on the pavement. Would Wesley have a woman living
there now? A step-mother to help him push out all the memories of her Lewis had
left?

“Are you ready?” Noah stood behind her, not quite close enough to
make her nervous.

It felt good to have him with her. She wouldn’t have dared to come
on her own. “Not really.” Pushing open the gate, she held her breath as she
walked the short distance to the door. Perhaps she should have called first.
His number was still there in her phone. Unless he’d changed it.

She took hold of the knocker and banged hard against the wood. The
noise echoed inside the house, but there were no other sounds of movement.
There was no one home. She didn’t know whether she was relieved or
disappointed.

But then she heard a distant door thump closed and muffled footsteps
heading towards them. Her heart beat so hard it hurt her chest. The door swung
open and there was Wes. He was a little rounder in the face, and his hair had
more grey in it, but he looked essentially the same.

His eyes widened when he saw her. He took a step back, his lips
opening just a touch. Then he set his mouth in a tight line and drew his brows
into a frown. He didn’t need to say anything – his expression asked the
question all by itself.

“Hello Wesley. I wanted to talk to you about Lewis.”

He looked her up and down, then turned his attention to Noah.
Disapproval lifted the corner of his mouth in a sneer that passed as quickly as
it came. “He’s not here.”

She didn’t know why, but she felt in her heart he was lying. “That’s
okay. I just want to talk.” Inside, she was screaming. Inside, she was tearing
herself apart with the effort it took not to run into the house and shout out
her baby’s name. But she had to do things on Wesley’s terms.

“Aren’t you going to invite us in?” Noah asked.

“Who’s this?”

“He’s a friend. Noah Trent. Noah, this is Wesley.”

Neither of them made any attempt to shake hands.

“Lewis isn’t here. You don’t have any right to see him anyway.”

“That’s why I’m here. I haven’t touched a drink in two years, Wes.
I’ve got a good job. I want to see him.”

“Out of the question.”

“Please. Doesn’t he ever ask about me?” She’d promised herself she
wouldn’t let him get to her, but the more time she spent on his doorstep, the
smaller she felt.

“You need to leave now.”

Noah stepped up from behind her and put his foot in the door just
before Wesley moved to close it. “She made a mistake. She knows that. She just
wants to see her kid.”

Wesley bunched his hands into fists and made a very visible effort
not to lose his temper. “Move your foot.”

Noah tensed beside her. She put a hand on his arm, willing him not
to start any trouble. Wes didn’t need much of an excuse to lose his temper.

“Your son deserves to see his mother.”

Wesley’s face clouded over. “Get your foot out of my doorway.”

Noah looked over at Angelique. She shook her head and he moved his
foot out of the way.

Wesley shut the door hard enough to rattle the knocker.

“Don’t worry.” He moved to put his arm around her. She flinched and
hated herself for it when he backed away. “We’ll sort it. You’ll see him.”

“I’ll go on tour with you.” She blurted out the words, afraid that
she’d lose her nerve.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll go.” She wasn’t sure if The Cloister would hold her job
open a second time, but she had to do whatever was necessary to see Lewis
again. She couldn’t give up. Not after getting so close. He was in that house.
She could feel him.

Noah headed back to the car. After one last look behind her, she
went too. She could feel eyes watching her. But was it Wesley looking out from
behind the curtains, or someone else?