Black Girls and Bad Boys: Changing his Tune (13 page)

And that was partly down to Noah.

Every time she thought of him she got a twisting sensation in her
gut. She’d only wanted to put things on hold for a while, but his reaction had
totally changed the way she saw him. It was for the best. Better to find out
now than when she was head over heels in love with him.

She let herself in and threw her jacket over a chair before
slouching on the sofa. What did she mean,
before she was in love with him
?
She was more than halfway there already. But it would pass. All she needed was
time.

She thought about getting something to eat, maybe turning on the
television, but it wasn’t enough to get her up off the sofa. Her mind drifted
back to Noah. She didn’t understand how he could have been so strong, so
supportive and then suddenly behave like a spoilt child. It didn’t matter.
That’s what had happened and now she had to deal with it.

A loud droning sound started up outside and she went over to look
out of the window. Probably a police helicopter. They didn’t pass over as often
as they did where she lived before, but the noise was hard to confuse with
something else. There was nothing to see out the front, so she went to the
bedroom and looked out the back.

There it was, big and white and a lot lower than she’d seen one come
before. But the ones she’d seen in the past had been black. And it didn’t have
the usual writing on the bottom.

As she watched, it dropped lower still. It was coming in to land on
the big open stretch of grass between the blocks of flats. She stared out of
the window, completely baffled.

The helicopter came down to the ground, the wind from its blades
whipping the surrounding trees and shrubs into some sort of wild dance. Then
the rotors stopped. One of the doors opened and a figure stepped out. He had
long, dark hair and wore tight black jeans and a white t-shirt.

Angelique’s heart froze in her chest. It was Noah. There was no one
else it could be. She thought of going downstairs, but she stayed glued to the
window, watching him stride towards her building.

What should she do? Pretend to be out?

He walked up to the flats and out of sight. He didn’t have the money
to hire a helicopter. What the hell was going on?

She went to the door and her hands went to her hair without her even
thinking about it. Then she caught herself and angrily dropped her hands to her
sides. Who cared what she looked like? Okay, he’d made a very dramatic
entrance, but the way he’d spoken to her that night wasn’t something she could
just shrug and forget about.

All her intentions of playing it cool fizzled into nothing the
moment she heard his footsteps on the stairs outside. She opened the front door
and watched him walk towards her.

“Angie.” He bounded up the last few steps, beaming at her.

She wanted to hold onto her anger, but it melted through her
fingers. He looked the best she’d ever seen him – a healthy weight, with clear
skin and bright brown eyes. His hair was dark and glossy. He didn’t look like a
hard-living rocker any more. He looked amazing.

“What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

The flat was pretty tidy, but it felt weird to have him come inside
and see all her personal things. She wondered how it had been for him when
she’d started working at his house. After a pause, she nodded and stood aside.

He met her eye and his smile shrank. “I wanted to apologise in
person.”

She gestured for him to sit in the armchair. Everything suddenly
seemed so cheap and small – not like his house.

“And explain things.”

“Okay.” She took a seat.

“I’m sorry for overreacting when you wanted to slow things down.”

Her pulse quickened at the memory of the conversation. “It was
really hard for me to tell you I wasn’t going back to Scotland. When you said
those things to me...”

“I know. I’m so, so sorry. You started pushing some buttons that
didn’t have anything to do with us and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
He looked genuinely distraught.

She wanted to go to him, put her arms around him and tell him it
didn’t matter. But on another level, she thought he deserved every moment of
distress. “What buttons?”

“Before the drinking got really bad and I went to rehab, I was in
therapy. I thought I’d worked through everything I needed to. But obviously I
was wrong.”

Why didn’t he just come out with it? She itched to say something,
but it was plain he was finding it hard to put his thoughts into words.

“You know I grew up in care?”

“Yes.” She remembered reading something about it in an interview
once. His parents had died when he was small and he didn’t have any other
family. He was one of the success stories – the boy who went through the system
and ended up rich and famous. And an addict.

“Everyone thinks it’s because I was an orphan, but my mum was still
alive. She gave me and my brother away.”

Angelique put her hand to her mouth. Jesus. “What happened?”

“She couldn’t cope after my father died. Social services stepped in
and tried to support her, but she put us in care.”

How awful. “I’m so sorry, Noah. I didn’t know. How old were you?”

“Eight. Caleb was six.” He hunched forward in his chair, folding his
arms around himself. “I don’t remember much of it. Sort of explains why I don’t
handle rejection very well.”

She tried to put herself in his place. The child who lost his father,
then found out his mother didn’t want him any more. “You should have said
something.”

He shook his head. “She died when I was ten. I don’t even think
about it most of the time. John pulled me up on it after I hung up on you. I’m
sorry. You said you wanted some time, but all I heard was you didn’t want me. I
thought you were dumping me—”

“I never said—”

“I know, I know. To be honest, I’m not used to the whole
relationship thing. I shouldn’t have been like that with you and I apologise.”

And she’d ignored all his other attempts to say sorry. “Apology
accepted.” He looked so wretched she couldn’t say anything else. They sat in
her living room, looking at each other while the silence grew deeper and more
awkward by the second.

“Where did the helicopter come from? You can’t afford that.” And it
was her fault. If she’d taken his calls, he wouldn’t have gone to such
extremes.

“I know a guy who knows a guy.” His smile triggered a rush of
memories that almost drove her into his arms. “And I pawned my acoustic guitar.”

“You did what?” It may have been old and battered, but she
remembered the reverent way he held it. His first guitar. The one he wrote all
his songs on. “You sold it?”

“It’s okay, I’ll get it back. This was more important.”

She didn’t know what to say. He’d pawned his precious guitar just so
he could come and see her. He hadn’t even known if she would forgive him.

He stood up. “Well, I’d better go.” But he didn’t go anywhere.

Was he waiting for her to make the first move? She’d been thinking
about kissing his lips ever since she opened the door and saw him on the
stairs. Now she knew the lengths he’d gone to just to see her, she wanted to do
it even more. But something was holding her back. Things had changed between
them. She couldn’t just go to him and make everything alright – it wasn’t as
simple as that.

“Come back with me. Come and see the last show tonight.” He grinned
at her, his enthusiasm threatening to sweep her away. “It’ll be like the start
of the tour – I’ll sing just for you.”

“I, I can’t. I’m still sorting things out with Wesley. He said I can
see Lewis tomorrow.”

“I’ll get you back in time.”

It was more than tempting, but what if she got delayed? She couldn’t
afford to give Wes any reason to complain. “I’ll see you when you’re back at
home.” But she’d still be in the middle of custody arrangements and John was
bound to have things lined up to keep Noah busy.

He looked at her with his huge brown eyes and she felt like a bitch.
They both wanted the same thing. It wasn’t fair that she had to keep saying no.

“Okay.” He looked so disappointed. “Perhaps you could take a few
days off. Come away with me.”

Memories of being with him – the way he’d held her in front of the
mirror, the sheer force of his will – tumbled over her and she wanted to say yes.
But there were too many things in the way. “I don’t know. Things are still
rocky with Wesley. If I go off on holiday he might stop the visits.” She could
hear him inside her head –
If you wanted to see him you wouldn’t be running
off with your new boyfriend.

“Then when?” His frustration broke through the cautious way he’d
been handling her. It was almost a relief to hear him get a little angry.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you that. Maybe in a couple of months—”

“A couple of months?” He turned away to the door, stopped and faced
her again. He held himself back, visibly fighting the pull of his temper.
“Okay. A couple of months. But we can meet up before then. I’ll come to you if
it makes things easier.”

And stay in her tiny flat? “I’d like that.” She couldn’t quite
picture it, but the idea of him spending the night in her one-bedroom flat was
comforting.

He looked more like himself when he smiled. She smiled back and the
awkwardness melted away for a moment or two. That was when she should have gone
to him. But the moment passed.

“Call me when you get back. And good luck with tonight.” She had one
final pang of regret – it would have been amazing to share the last gig with
him.

“Thanks. I’ll see you soon.” He waited with his hand on the door,
then shook his head and strode back towards her.

His hands went to her face and he brought his lips down to hers,
pushing every thought from her head with a kiss that brought everything they’d
shared rushing back to the fore.

She’d been such a fool. He was there in her arms. He’d apologised.
He’d even let go of his guitar just to be with her. There was no reason for her
to keep her distance. The custody case was in hand and Noah had said he’d get
her home in time for her next visit. She kissed him back with everything she
had.

He took his lips from hers and put them close to her ear. “Come back
with me. Just for tonight. Then we can both see Lewis tomorrow.”

She hadn’t thought she would ever feel this happy again. Speaking
would only jinx things, so she just nodded and let him draw her further into
his arms.

He held her for a long few minutes. “I don’t want to move any more
than you do, but we’d better go.” When he let go of her, she took his hand – she
needed to keep him close.

“I’ll pack a bag.” Reluctantly, she dropped his hand so she could
gather up her things. He followed her into the bedroom and sat on the bed.

“I’d better go and talk to Wesley.” She didn’t really want to see
him, but it would be better than doing it over the phone.

“Okay, I’ll come with you.”

“No. I should go on my own.” He’d only just stopped making snide
comments about her
employer
. If she turned up with Noah, Wesley would be
at his most combative. “It’ll be easier to handle him that way.”

He shook his head. “No. I don’t like it.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing since I’ve been back? I see him
all the time when I go to visit Lewis. He hasn’t caused any trouble.” In fact
he’d been a hell of a lot more civil than she’d ever imagined.

“At least let me wait in the car.”

He was worried about her. His concern sent flutters of excitement
through her chest. He cared enough to be worried. “Okay. I’ll call a taxi and
you can wait while I talk to him.”

Noah pulled her over and kissed her forehead. She stopped what she
was doing to kiss him properly and his hands went to her waist, tugging her
down to his lap.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he said.

She moaned as his lips moved down to her throat. His hands swept
their way over her clothes. She wished there was nothing between them. That
they were already lying together with skin on skin and his mouth claiming
ownership of her flesh.

Gently, he eased her off his legs to sit beside him on the bed. “I
really don’t want to say this, but as much as I want you, we don’t have time to
do this now.”

She gazed up at him with eyes that didn’t want to focus. Being so
close to him made it hard to breathe. He was right, but that didn’t help with
the aching lust he’d planted between her legs. Couldn’t they forget about being
sensible for an hour or so?

But she knew the answer to that question. Wiping her mouth, she
shuffled away from him and straightened her clothes. Things would be different
after that night’s concert. Then they’d have all the time in the world.

***

I
t didn’t hit Noah how deeply he’d missed Angelique until he got close
to her again. Once he felt her soft curves and smelled her rich perfume, he
knew he couldn’t leave without her. Not again.

But something about this visit to Wesley’s house didn’t sit right
with him. Something was brewing and he didn’t like it. The story Angie had told
him cast a shadow over everything and tainted the evening with foreboding. When
the taxi pulled up across the street from the house he tried to reason with
her. “Let me come with you. I won’t say anything. But I don’t trust him.”

But she shook her head and made him stay behind.

He watched her cross the road and walk through the gate. Concern
gnawed at his insides as the front door opened and she went into the house. The
minutes passed and he came up with all sorts of scenarios that might be playing
out behind that blue door.

He sat on the edge of the back seat, drumming his fingers against
the headrest in front of him. It was taking too long. All she had to do was
tell him she would be away overnight.