Black Number Four (24 page)

“Kip gave me a gift in that garden, you skank. You ruined my Valentine’s Day.”

Jess waves her hand. “Oh hush, I didn’t fuck on your precious glasses, you prude. Just on the bench where he gave them to you.”

I shove her playfully. “Bitch.”

“You love me.” She sticks out her tongue before her face falls completely serious. “I have to pee.” And with that, she’s stumbling to a stall.

“Speaking of Kip, how’s it going?” Ashlei asks, leaning against the wall to take pressure off her heels. I rub my palms against my dress and try to act cool.

“It’s fine. We’re having fun, everything is going according to plan.”

Liar.

Erin’s face has fallen, her lips narrowing into a thin line. “The dance is almost over. I think you should do it soon. Use Adam.”

“What?!” Cassie and I both say at the same time. I turn to look at her, but her mouth is open, jaw to the floor staring at her Grand Big.

“Why would I need to use Adam?” I ask, my eyes still on my Little as I speak sideways to Erin.

“It’s believable. It’s obvious Adam still has a thing for you, so tell Kip you have feelings for him, too. Tell him you were using him to make Adam jealous and it worked.”

I swallow hard, the sickening feeling returning to my stomach. After the garden, I felt amazing – Kip and I danced all night, snuck drinks from his flask and bought drinks when it was tapped out, fed each other chocolate dipped strawberries and practiced poker faces with my glasses. We were goofing off all night, people-watching and being us. And I liked us. I wanted there to be an us for just a little while longer.

But time is up.
Ding!
Dinner is served in the way of my heart on a silver platter.

Erin eyes me hard, not budging.

“Um, I need some fresh air. Good luck, Big. I love you.” Cassie bolts out of the bathroom before I have the chance to stop her.

What the fuck? Way to leave me hanging, Little!

“Who died?” Jess asks, drying her hands on a paper towel as she rejoins us, her eyes scanning our faces. Ashlei gives me a sad smile, shrugging her shoulders a little before answering.

“It’s time.”

My throat feels like sandpaper, each breath rubbing it raw as I try to swallow it down. Jess sobers slightly, her eyes finding mine. For a few moments, we just stand there, everyone’s eyes on me as I grip my purse tight, my knuckles whitening. Finally, Jess reaches out for my hand.

“Well, I guess there’s no better time for shots than now.”

She pulls me from the bathroom, Ashlei and Erin close behind. We head toward the bar and I scan the crowd until I find Kip. It’s like he was watching me the entire time, as if his eyes are trained to spot me like the missing puzzle piece he needs to complete his picture. He smiles, his teeth blazing against his tan skin as he watches me. My heart races, thumping against my ribs like an erratic bird in a cage. It hits hard against my bones, desperate to break free from me, the captor. I try to calm it down, to soothe it with words in my head, but the only words I have to offer are the ones I’ve recited. The ones I’m about to say to Kip.

My heart wants a divorce, and I don’t blame it.

I wish I could separate from me, too.

I am high. Not from marijuana, but from a different kind of drug – one that only Skyler Thorne can provide. After last night, I wasn’t sure what tonight would be like. I was apprehensive, afraid of the fake smiles and high walls. But after the garden, Skyler opened up to me again. That same amazing smile came out, that playfulness that is only her. We’ve danced and kissed and everything feels perfect. And for once, I don’t give a damn about poker. Tonight is just about us, about escaping from reality for a while and living in the world where we get to be together like any other normal college students.

Drunk on a flask full of whiskey and each other.

I’ve felt her moving in the sexy red dress she’s wearing all night and now all I can think about is getting her out of here. I want to make her feel wanted, desired, needed. I can still hear the sweet sounds that escaped between her lips when my hands were on her body and all I want is to amplify them. I want to make her feel like nothing she’s ever felt before.

Fuck. They need to install cold showers at these damn venues.

“Might want to take it easy there, Poker Princess. I don’t want to have to carry you back to the house.” I laugh, stealing a kiss and the shot glass from Skyler’s hand before she has the chance to down it. We’ve already killed my flask and a few drinks and I just watched her take two shots in a row with Jess. Skyler actually introduced me to her sisters tonight, the ones she’s always with. I knew her Little, but tonight I met Jess and Ashlei who are absolutely crazy as fuck – in a good way. They’re fun, but definitely trouble dressed in high heels. Erin has been a little too close for comfort all night, too, and right now I feel her eyes glaring a hole in my side as I hold up the shot to toast the girls.

Only I would get wrapped up into my crazy ex-girlfriend’s Little.

Skyler doesn’t fight me when I take the shot. She doesn’t spout off some feisty line or smile or punch me in the side. Instead, her immense blue eyes grow even larger as she watches me drink it and I notice a slight tremble in her lip. I finish the shot and grab her hand, tugging her away from the bar.

“Are you okay?”

She doesn’t say anything. For a moment, she stands there staring at where her hand is grasped in mine, almost like she’s studying the way our fingers lace together. Finally, she simply shakes her head no.

And I don’t know why, but for some reason my stomach sinks to the ground.

Something is wrong.

“Come on,” I say, tugging her toward the doors that lead out to the garden, but she stands firm, her eyes trained on the floor. I glance back at her, waiting. When she finally lifts her head, her face is pale, her hand shaking in mine. I want desperately to pull her into me, but the way she’s looking at me – like I’m a wounded animal and she’s the one who shot me – stops me from moving. I feel paralyzed by her gaze, immobilized by the words I haven’t even heard yet.

“Skyler?”

She sucks in a long breath before hardening her lips into a thin line. “It’s over, Kip.”

“What?” I ask, moving to grab her other hand. She pulls away, ripping the one I was still holding from my grip and crossing her arms. Her eyes shift to the side and I see her tongue working against the inside of her cheek. She’s trying to calm down, trying not to show emotion. I recognize the move from the cab ride to the tournament I watched her play in.

She’s putting on her poker face.

“Skyler, don’t do this. Come on.” I reach for her, but she steps even farther back, the distance growing colder between us. I leave my hands outstretched, waiting for her to stop whatever show she’s putting on and fall into my arms, but she stands unwavering. A hardness starts to spread over her features and I try to swallow, but my throat just constricts, tightening around the growing lump I feel suffocating me.

“It’s done, Kip. I don’t need you anymore. I just wanted to get back at Adam. I wanted to make him jealous. And it worked. And now I don’t need you.”

The words fly from her mouth in surprisingly convincing tones, but she still won’t look at me.

“Is this a joke?” I ask, almost laughing. This is not happening. There’s no way she can possibly be serious right now. It’s all an act. This is her poker face, this is her pretending.

Right?

“No, it’s not a fucking joke, Kip,” she says louder, this time her eyes finding mine. They’re cold, detached – complete fucking stone. Skyler rarely ever curses, and when she does it’s a “hell” or a “shit” or the occasional “damn”. Hearing “fuck” lash out from her beautiful mouth takes me by surprise, like admiring a beautiful spider web before witnessing it catching an unsuspecting prey.

The people around us start to notice the commotion and I feel the heat from their stares. I try again to swallow, but nothing comes. No relief.

“I don’t feel anything for you. I never have, okay? I’ve been in love with Adam since last year and that hasn’t changed. Now that I have his attention again, I don’t need you. It was fun, but it’s over. Here.” She pulls the black box with the glasses I bought her from her purse. “Take these back. I don’t want them.” With those last words, her lip quivers a bit and her eyes flick to mine before she turns and storms away, disappearing through the double doors.

Holding the box in my hand, I look around at the faces. Kade. Jess. Ashlei. Skyler’s Little seems sick, Erin looks at me like a sad puppy, and Adam stands right beside her. But his eyes aren’t on me.

They’re on the doors Skyler just walked through.

I clench my fists together, letting out a cross between a grunt and a scream before barreling toward the doors. Shoving through them, I quickly find Skyler standing near the carpool area and grab her arm, whipping her around with enough force to show her I mean business without hurting her.

“Bullshit,” I say, my breath escaping my lips in an erratic rhythm. I will my heart to calm down, to not pound so hard against my ribs but it won’t listen. “This is fucking bullshit and you know it. You may have every other person in there fooled, but I can see straight through you, Skyler Thorne. Why are you doing this? Is it Erin?”

I watch as tears quickly pool in her eyes before a single tear spills over. She wipes at it quickly. “Kip, please, just leave it alone. Just let me go.”

“No!” I yell, louder than I expected. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing right now. This wasn’t part of the plan, none of this was – but I can’t stop myself. I refuse to let her go. Not right now, not like this. “Fuck that, Skyler. You care about me, I know you do. This isn’t about Adam or Erin or anyone else. This is about us. You and me. Stop letting her control you. For once, ask yourself what you want and fuck what everyone else thinks.”

She squeezes her eyes shut tight and more tears escape. My heart aches, a sickening feeling lurching from deep in my gut. I reach out and run the pad of my thumb down her cheek, erasing a stream. She leans into my hand, her lips parting slightly, before shoving me away. We both stand there silently, my hands open at my sides and her eyes still shut off from the world. When she opens them, my stomach sinks further.

Ice.

“There is no you and me. There never was.”

The words slam hard against my chest and my lungs ache for air that won’t come. Reality is the lump in my throat, the jagged pill that I can’t swallow. She doesn’t want me, there is no me and her.

There is no us.

Suddenly, I feel hands come down hard on my shoulders. “Hey, man, I think you need to go back inside,” Adam says, pulling me toward the doors. I shrug him off forcefully and turn to meet his eyes.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

He puffs up his chest, meeting mine as our eyes level out. “You don’t want to do this, Kip. Don’t lose your head right now.”

“Fuck you.” I shove him hard and he stumbles back as Skyler lets out a cry.

“Stop! Kip please, stop!”

Adam quickly recovers and shoves me back before Kade and a few of the older brothers step between us, pushing us apart. They hold tight to my arms while Adam holds up his hands, letting them know he’s cool. He turns to Skyler and holds out his arm. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

I try to rush toward him again but my brothers hold me still, my force met with stiff resistance. Skyler’s eyes meet mine one last time and I try to reach her, try to use my own eyes to tell her not to do this, to
beg
her not to do this. Softly, she just barely whispers a “sorry” before turning away. Her eyes flutter closed and she brings her hand to cover her trembling lips as Adam shelters her under his arm and leads her to a waiting cab.