‘Does this feel good?’ he whispered against her ear. ‘Do you like the feel of me inside you? Is it liberating, Phia, having someone else take control.
Dare
to take control?’
And as he picked up pace, as he freed her neck to grab her hip, she could feel herself slipping away.
She was giving herself to him willingly and unrepentantly. It didn’t feel like her – not the her she had come to know. Instead, it felt like a part of herself that she had once known had now returned – the liberated part of her that had been free and unrestrained and untroubled, back when life seemed simple and there was nothing to worry about.
Because the very submissive position she had allowed him to get her into, her helplessness beneath his control, should have had her worried, should have had her panicked.
No less than as he tugged her back against him, forcing her onto his lap, her thighs spread wide either side of his as he continued to thrust into her.
But not even as he clasped her breast with one hand, wrapped the other possessively around her throat to keep her back against his shoulder, as he raked her neck with his canines, did she feel a moment of fear.
She should have been troubled at the lack of connection both positions could have evoked – a position void of eye contact and an inability to read each other’s expressions. But it felt even more intimate – a physical and emotional understanding where all the normal cues weren’t required; where he was listening to and watching for cues another way – a lycan’s way – whilst she relaxed into his consuming of her.
And consume her he did. Because never had she felt so much during sex. Not just physically. Far more than just physically.
So when he withdrew only to flip her onto her back, the resumed eye contact with him as he pushed back inside her only made the act even more powerful.
She couldn’t look anywhere but at him. The neon lights bounced on his skin, glimmering in his eyes, igniting them one moment and darkening them the next – like the civility versus the visceral that fought inside of him.
He slid her wrists together above her head, holding them there with one of his as he freed the other to cup her jaw, keeping her head tilted up towards him as he lowered his lips to hers.
A kiss would be a painfully intimate act to perform during sex and, at that realisation, her heart jolted.
‘Lust, Jask,’ she said, before his lips touched hers. ‘Nothing more. Just like before.’
‘Lust doesn’t make your heart beat that fast,’ he said. ‘Lust doesn’t make me feel the way I do about you.’
As he cupped her neck, as his thumbs rested beneath her jaw, as he claimed her with a tender but possessive kiss that made her lose contact with her body, something clenched deep inside.
She should have pulled away because she knew he was right – this was anything but a lust-fuelled kiss from the way she churned inside. Lust didn’t make her question what she was doing. How deep she was getting.
Instinctively, she lifted her thighs either side of his, wrapped hers legs around his back, allowing him deeper penetration as he pressed his hand against the small of her back to meet her halfway. This time his thrust was more urgent, his stubble brushing against her already sensitive skin as he buried his face in her neck.
Images of what she had done to him back in the alley flashed behind her eyes. But now, instead of embarrassment, she felt arousal. Because those images told her just how difficult he
had
found it to say no.
The sigh he’d let out as she’d taken him in her mouth still haunted her. As she’d looked up to see his head stretched back against that alley wall, eyes shut, his masculine neck exposed, it hadn’t just been about her own satiation – she’d wanted to please him too.
It had made taking him deep into her mouth as natural as it could be. As she worked his tip with her tongue, the base of his erection with her fingers, as he’d jerked and twitched in her mouth, she had revelled in her power over him. And never had it been more exciting.
Jask
was
attracted to her.
And the way he’d kissed her told her he
did
care.
The combination was more lethal than she’d ever imagined.
She struggled to take the full force of his next thrust, let alone his increased pace, but he held her firmly, keeping her in position.
She held onto his upper arm, her fingers barely spanning the extension of his biceps, her other arm wrapped tight around his neck as she held him close, felt the powerful onset of her own climax as she felt him not just come, but explode inside her.
And something inside her gave again.
She cried out, felt him shudder, heard him groan. But this time it was not a groan of anger or frustration, but of satisfaction. More so, with contentment. And as she shamelessly gasped with pleasure, she finally gave in to a connection that was never going to go away.
Chapter Thirty-Three
S
ophia lay on her side, facing the wall.
Jask lay silently curled in behind her, one arm above her head, the fingers on his other hand interlaced with hers as it lay on the covers, his thumb gently rubbing hers.
‘What’s your name?’ he asked. ‘Your real name?’
She hesitated for a moment. ‘Phia
is
my real name. Short for Sophia. Sophie to my family.’
‘Sophie,’ he repeated. ‘It suits you.’
Her heart leapt at it slipping so easily, so sensually, from his lips. ‘Phia suits me better.’
‘No,’ he said. ‘Phia makes you
feel
better. There’s a difference.’
She eased onto her back so she could look at him. ‘What changed it?’
‘What changed what?’
‘The downward spiral you were on. What changed it?’
‘Having someone who cared enough.’
There was a knot in her stomach. ‘You met someone after Ellen?’
‘Before. I’m talking about Corbin.’
She lifted her eyebrows slightly, playfully. ‘Something you need to tell me?’
His smile made her stomach churn all over again.
‘He’s a good friend,’ he said. ‘The best kind of friend. The kind who’s there when you need them. Who sees you at your worst and works hard to get you back to your best.’
‘He pulled you back?’
‘He more or less kicked my arse into pulling me back. He dragged me back to the compound one night. Locked me in one of the containment rooms. Gave me more home truths than I wanted to hear. And he wouldn’t let me out again until I started to see sense.’
‘How long did it take?’
‘A month.’
‘A
month
?’
‘I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. And he wasn’t going to let me out for as long as I continued to be a threat to our pack. Luckily, I’d kept my head beneath the LCU’s radar. Only because of my own covering my back.’
‘But you did listen eventually.’
‘Actually it was Solstice who got through to me in the end.’
‘What was her secret?’
‘Making me realise how much Corbin cared, how much she cared, how much the pack needed me. What a selfish bastard I was being. And how I was entitled to brood – but only for a little while. Apparently almost a decade was pushing it. I put my pack under a lot of risk in those early years – not being there for them.’
‘Corbin took the reins for you?’
‘When he needed to.’
‘But you’re together now. I mean, you’ve pulled yourself together?’
‘I still have my moments.’
‘Like with me.’
He smiled. ‘Darling, you’d push a pacifist to the limits.’
She smiled back. But she stared into his eyes, eyes that didn’t flinch. ‘Have I met him?’
He frowned. ‘Who?’
She eased herself up slightly, rested her head on her palm. ‘Your son.’
He glanced back at the ceiling. ‘You could say that.’ He looked back at her. ‘You could say he’s the one who brought us together.’
She knew she was gawping, but she could do nothing about it as only two possibilities came to mind. And there was only one who resembled Jask. ‘Rone? Rone’s your son?’
‘Not that I have any right to call him such.’
‘From what you’ve told me, something tells me he begs to differ. Jask,’ she said, gently catching the side of his face to force him to look at her. ‘If you need me somehow, and he’s helped you get me, then he’s been a part of far more than us meeting. This could be the breakthrough you both need. You need to tell him he’s done good, Jask. You need to tell your son you’re proud.’
And he could. She could see in his eyes how much he wanted to. And to make that happen, she needed to prove she could do whatever he wanted her to. More than that, she
wanted
to help him.
‘Tell me what you want me to do, Jask,’ she said. ‘Trust me enough to tell me.’
He averted his gaze for a few moments. Eventually he eased onto his stomach, looked into her eyes again. ‘You know how the lunar cycles work, right? Every two to three years there’s a thirteenth moon – a second full moon to appear in a single solar calendar month. Some call it a blue moon.’
Sophia nodded. She understood as much about lycan lore as anyone else. Though she wished she’d taken the time to learn more.
‘A thirteenth moon appears seven times in total in the Metonic cycle of nineteen years,’ he added. ‘That seventh thirteenth moon is make or break for lycans, our allergy to that moon particularly potent. We have to alter the ingredients we take, let alone the dosage. One of the herbs we take is aconite. We manage to grow it back at the compound under special conditions. It’s the base herb to all our concoctions. Not only does it contribute to suppressing the morphing, but it works like an anaesthetic – effective in paralysing the nerves to the sensation of pain, touch and temperature, acting on the circulation, respiration and nervous systems. The only problem is, if it’s not processed properly, it’s fatal. It needs to be steamed with a very specific dose of ginger first. A very distinct type of ginger – turmeric.’
‘But?’
‘We had someone in our pack – Nero. He’s always morphed before everyone else. We gave him a dosage that should have worked.’
‘
Should
have?’
‘Not only was the morphing barely suppressed, but he died in agony shortly after. Such an event is rare, but it’s always a risk when the concoction changes. We now know we need a stronger dose of aconite, but with more aconite, we need more turmeric. We have enough of the former. The problem is, we don’t have anywhere near enough turmeric that their calculations showed we need.’
‘How do I come into this?’
‘Next to us, the next best source for herbs and spices is the witches. Your kind. I’ve traced a source down where there could be enough turmeric for our needs. But, as you know, liaising with anyone in the exchange of herbs and spices is prohibited – so the authorities can manage the witches and make sure they don’t become too powerful. Just as they stopped importing particular herbs and spices into Blackthorn and Lowtown decades ago, knowing our supplies would run out one day.’
‘And they have the meds on standby. Meds you’d have no option but to take.’
‘Exactly.’
‘You want me to go and get it.’ She frowned. ‘That’s what all this was about? But why don’t you go in and take what you need? You could take down witches any day.’
‘Why do you think? Charge in there and we’re not only going to have some very angry witches baying for us, we would have broken one of the regulations. If word leaks out, the Lycan Control Unit will work out we don’t have what we need. They’ll close the compound down and they’ll incarcerate us.’
‘Which is why you want me to go in instead.’
‘A serryn is top of the witch chain. You can walk in there and ask for whatever you want from them, and they have to give it to you without question.’
‘But I could also expose what you’re doing. I could get away and send the authorities after you.’ Now it all made sense – not least why her impulsivity, her recklessness had caused him so much frustration. ‘That’s why you needed me on side. This is what this has been about – you needed my co-operation for it to work.’
‘I either get my hands on that turmeric or my pack turns in less than a week – and if that happens, one way or another, they’re not going to make it. Those that do, those strong enough to survive the morphing, will be too many for me to safely contain. And if they get out of here, they’ll be shot at the hands of the TSCD. The only alternative is the meds – and I trust the Global Council even less than I trust the TSCD. One ingredient, Phia, stands between my pack’s downfall or its survival.’
And the survival of countless others. She’d never seen a lycan morphed, but she knew what had happened to Arana Malloy in explicit detail – their thought processes and their conscience suppressed by their baser urges.
She’d seen just a glimmer of the potential of it in Jask back on the estate, and he hadn’t even been morphed.
Tens of them let loose on the streets of Blackthorn, free to roam across the border into Lowtown, didn’t bear thinking about.
And what would happen to Jask as a result didn’t bear thinking about either.
‘I can do this, Jask.’
She
would
do it.
‘But I have to send you in there alone or they’ll suspect. You need to walk in there like you own the place, like you’ve been a serryn for years. You don’t answer their questions, nothing.’
‘You want me to go in there arrogant, stroppy, defiant, confrontational and unrelenting?’ She smirked, despite her nerves. ‘I think I have this covered.’
‘It’s not that simple. Sending you in there brings with it another risk. Rone let it slip that we were looking for turmeric. Word could already be out. If you don’t play it right, they could know you’re involved with us. Worse, the witch you need to go to meet is called Tamara – she’s rumoured to be linked with Kane Malloy. She could expose you, Phia. Not only will Caleb know there’s a serryn in Blackthorn, but so too could Kane. And if he works out you’re involved with the pack, this could lead to vampire retaliation against us.’
She raised her eyebrows slightly. ‘No wonder you needed me tamed.’
‘I’m letting you know what this involves.’
She frowned. ‘You don’t believe I can do this, do you?’
‘I’m saying if this goes wrong, it’s all over for my pack.’ He hesitated for a moment before gently cupping her face. ‘It could be all over for you. And I don’t want to face either.’
Her heart soared. ‘It isn’t
going
to go wrong. I can do this. I swear. You said you trusted me; now’s your chance to prove it. Just give me your word that once I bring back what you need, you’ll help me get my sisters.’
After studying her gaze for a moment longer, he nodded. ‘I give you my word.’
‘Then it’s a deal,’ she said. ‘So what are we waiting for?’