“Did you know your daddy stole my heart with his first smile?” Elijah grinned at the memory of Ruben’s first smile and how intrigued he had been at the time. “And you have the same smile. Do you plan on stealing my heart, too?”
Alani cooed as if she knew exactly what Elijah was saying. Yep, he was sunk. There was no way he could resist that smile, not when it reminded him so much of Ruben. “You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you? No wonder you were born into the Blaecleah family. It’s going to take all of them just to keep the boys away.”
“Bite your tongue.”
Elijah looked up to see Ruben leaning against the archway to the dining room, his arms crossed over his chest. He had one eyebrow arched as if to question Elijah about something. Elijah just didn’t know what.
“Huh…”
“She’s not allowed to date,” Ruben said. “Ever.” Elijah grinned.
“You think I’m kidding?”
Elijah shook his head. “I own a shotgun. I’ll loan it to you.” Ruben chuckled as he walked across the room. Elijah couldn’t help but watch him, his eyes drawn to the sway of Ruben’s hips.
Damn, he couldn’t even watch the man walk across the room without being turned on.
Ruben stopped in front of him, looking down at the baby. Alani took that moment to notice her father and coo up at him, bringing a smile to Ruben’s lips. One that took Elijah’s breath away and grated on his already tense nerves. He wanted Ruben to look at him like that.
He was so fucked in the head. He was jealous of a damn baby.
Elijah almost growled when Ruben raised his head to meet his eyes and the smile slowly fell from the man’s lips. Even if the smile hadn’t been aimed at him, he didn’t want to see it go away. He wanted it back. At least he could bask in Ruben’s happiness even if it was aimed at someone else.
“What’s wrong?”
Ruben’s face flushed as he shook his head and looked away. “Do you want me to take her?”
“Ruben?” When the man refused to meet his eyes, Elijah hiked Alani further up in his arms and reached over to grab Ruben’s chin, bringing Ruben’s face around to him. “What’s wrong, Ruben?” Ruben’s eyes darted around, looking everywhere except at Elijah.
“Nothing is wrong. Brunch is ready. We should go in.”
“Ru, talk to me?”
Ruben’s hazel eyes were tumultuous when they finally met Elijah’s. “I used to fantasize about this, you know?” Elijah frowned. “Fantasize about what?”
“You.” Ruben glanced down at Alani. “And her.” Elijah’s confusion must have shown on his face because Ruben gave a little chuckle and turned to walk over to the window, staring out of it. His shoulders slumped a little as if the weight of the world sat on them.
“When I wasn’t following Mahra from place to place, I’d stay at camp with Alani. I helped out where I could. It really doesn’t take much to make someone who has nothing feel good—some clean water, a bowl of food, a safe place to sleep. Hell, even a kind smile works.”
Elijah stepped forward to stop Ruben from speaking when he saw Ruben start rubbing the back of his neck as if the tension there was tying him up in knots. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hear what Ruben said. He always wanted to hear what Ruben had to say, especially when it came to him. But Ruben seemed so sad.
“Ru—”
“Those times when I could just sit in my tent and play with Alani or hold her”—Ruben’s rough laugh was filled with stress—“as few and far between as they were, those times, I wondered what it would be like to see you holding Alani. I fantasized about it. What I would do. What I would say.”
Elijah inhaled sharply at the tears glistening in Ruben’s eyes when he turned back around to face him. “Ru, wha—”
“Nothing I ever fantasized about ever came close to seeing you actually hold her,” Ruben whispered. He swallowed hard and looked away as if he couldn’t keep on watching Elijah hold Alani.
Elijah was dumbfounded. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say. He didn’t want to ruin the moment by saying something really stupid or something that might drive Ruben away from him. So he said nothing.
Ruben abruptly sniffled and rubbed his arm across his eyes. Once he was done, he stood up straighter and stepped toward Elijah, reaching out for the baby as if nothing life altering had just happened.
Elijah twirled away, holding Alani closer to his chest. “I have her.”
Ruben stared for a moment, and then deep, rich laughter filled the room. “You’re holding my daughter hostage.” Elijah felt his face flame. “Am not.”
“You are, too.”
“I just—I just want to hold her a little longer.” He liked knowing that Ruben fantasized about him, and if it only involved him holding Alani, he’d keep on holding the baby until his arms gave out.
“Okay, Eli, you hold her a little longer,” Ruben said as he wrapped an arm around Elijah’s waist and leaned up to plant a small kiss on Elijah’s cheek. “It might give me a chance to actually eat an entire meal in one sitting.”
Elijah frowned as he followed Ruben into the dining room. He really didn’t like the way that sounded. Ruben already seemed a tad on the lean side, despite the muscles he had. “You don’t eat?”
“Oh, I eat. I just don’t usually get the chance to eat everything on my plate with the little princess making demands.” Ruben grinned over his shoulder. “Alani is not known for her patience.”
“You need to eat.” Elijah didn’t like the idea that Ruben might not be getting enough to eat. It didn’t sit well with him. Ruben needed to take better care of himself, or Elijah would have to take over and do it for him. Elijah nodded toward the two vacant chairs at the table. “Go sit down. I’ll hold her while you eat.”
“Elijah, you really don’t have to—”
“Sit.” His tone brooked no disobedience.
Ruben blinked at Elijah for a moment then walked over and sat down without a word. Elijah smiled and followed behind him, sitting in the vacant chair beside Ruben. He jostled Alani around in his arms, setting her on his lap, her back to his stomach, and then he wrapped an arm around her waist and held her firmly. It helped that she could hold her head up. Alani immediately grabbed his finger and stuck it in her mouth.
“So.” Elijah swallowed hard. He could feel every member of the Blaecleah clan watching him except the baby in his arms. He quickly scanned the food piled on the table. “Are there any finger foods?”
* * * *
Elijah leaned against the bedroom door and watched Ruben sitting on the bed, preparing Alani for bed. She had been fed, burped, bathed, and was now getting a clean set of pajamas. Her eyes were already starting to droop. Elijah took that as a good sign. She was an adorable child, but babies took a lot of attention.
Once Alani was laid down for the night, Elijah was hoping to spend a little one-on-one time with Ruben. The day had been interesting. Elijah had spent time at the Blaecleah ranch before on several occasions. He’d just never done it with knowing looks aimed in his direction. He was pretty sure every single Blaecleah knew exactly why he was out at the ranch.
And strangely enough, he wasn’t bothered by it. Elijah didn’t understand that. He had hidden his desires away from prying eyes for so very long that it had become second nature to him. He wasn’t sure how to act now that people knew. He also wasn’t sure how he felt about people knowing.
Ruben wrapped a blanket around Alani then stood, settling the baby against his shoulder. He flushed when he looked over and saw Elijah standing in the doorway. “You don’t have to stay, Elijah.”
“I’ll stay.”
Ruben started looking a little more flushed, a little flustered.
“Why don’t you go down and have coffee with Ma and Da? This may take awhile.”
“I’m good.”
“Well, at least sit down or something.” Elijah grinned as he walked across the room toward the chair situated by the window. He paused just briefly enough to plant a small kiss on Alani’s forehead and then Ruben’s before happily strolling to the chair and sitting down.
Ruben was standing still, staring at him. Shock made his hazel eyes darker. Elijah cocked an eyebrow then chuckled softly when Ruben’s face filled again. The man was just too cute for words. That he could still blush after all of the things he had seen and experienced was a miracle. Elijah hoped Ruben never lost that ability.
Elijah sat quietly in the chair by the window and watched Ruben slowly move around the room as he gently patted Alani on the back.
His movements were sure and fluid. It looked like Ruben was dancing with his daughter.
Elijah could have sat there and watched for hours. He felt a little guilty about the lust that started coursing through him as he watched Ruben move. The man had his daughter in his arms. Elijah knew he shouldn’t be turned on by the alluring sight, but he was.
He was so immersed in watching the slow sway of Ruben’s hips and wondering if they would move just the same if he was dancing with Ruben that he almost jumped when Ruben suddenly stopped and walked over to lay the baby down in her cradle.
He was up and standing beside Ruben when the man stood straight. Ruben’s eyes widened and a small puff of air shot out of his mouth when he turned and saw Elijah standing next to him.
Elijah just smiled and grabbed Ruben’s hand, drawing the sexy man into his arms. “My turn,” he said softly so not to wake the sleeping baby. He had plans for Ruben that didn’t involve any children—or anyone else for that matter.
“You want me to rock you to sleep?”
“I want you to dance with me.”
Ruben’s forehead wrinkled as he frowned. “There’s no music.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Elijah liked the look of astonishment on Ruben’s face as he began dancing the man slowly around the room. He enjoyed the feeling of the man in his arms even more. Slowly, almost hesitantly, Ruben’s arms worked around Elijah’s body, and the stiffness in his stature began to fade away.
Elijah grabbed Ruben’s head and pressed it into the crook of his neck then grabbed Ruben’s hand. He folded their fingers together and tucked their entwined hands against his chest. He wrapped his other arm firmly around Ruben’s back.
There might not have been music playing in the room, just the sounds of their uneven breathing, but Elijah couldn’t remember ever enjoying a dance like the one he was having. He wasn’t even sure he
had
ever danced like this.
Elijah let go of Ruben’s hand and grabbed his chin, tilting his head back just enough so that he could reach his lips. The kiss was soft and gentle, and just a bit hesitant. It wasn’t filled with desire or the overwhelming lust he usually felt when he was around Ruben.
Instead, it was colored with need and a deep longing Elijah didn’t even know he was feeling. By the time he lifted his head and stared down at Ruben, he felt just as dazed as Ruben seemed. And Ruben was staring up at him like he had hung the moon.
Elijah swallowed past the lump that built in his throat at the soft glint in Ruben’s hazel eyes. Had Thomas ever looked at him like that?
Had anyone ever looked at him like that? Elijah didn’t think so, and that made him wonder if what he had with Thomas had even been real. Whatever it was that passed between him and Ruben seemed so much stronger, and yet so much simpler.
Elijah leaned down again and claimed Ruben’s soft lips again. He couldn’t even begin to define the feelings that ran through him when Ruben groaned and leaned into the kiss. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to give name to them even if he tried. No one had ever made him feel the way Ruben Blaecleah did.
It wasn’t just desire or lust, even if the man was hot enough to burn paint off the walls at fifty paces. Elijah had a deep need to learn more about the man—his wants and desires, his deepest fantasies. He even wanted to know Ruben’s likes and dislikes. He wanted to know what the man thought on any given topic. Elijah wanted to know everything.
“Eli,” Ruben whispered as he pulled away and cast a quick glance at the cradle next to the wall. He swallowed hard, naked desire shining in his eyes when he looked back at Elijah. “I can’t. Not with—”
“Sshhh, baby,” Elijah whispered back as he rubbed his thumb along Ruben’s lips. “I know you can’t. We’re just dancing. That’s all.”
“Yeah, but—”
“As much as I want there to be more between us, I am not ruled by my libido, Ruben. I am perfectly happy just holding you in my arms.”
A soft flush filled Ruben’s face. Elijah could feel the man’s hard cock pressing against him and knew what he was feeling. Elijah was feeling the very same desire. He just didn’t feel an overwhelming need to act on it. Holding Ruben in his arms was enough.
“If this is all we have tonight, I’m fine with that. I understand that Alani’s needs have to come first.”
“Really?”
Elijah leaned down and kissed the tip of Ruben’s pert nose.
“Really.”
“And if I suggested we slip into the bathroom?” Elijah’s mouth dropped open as his brain took a dump. He suddenly felt overheated and achy and wanted more than to dance Ruben around the room and cuddle in the man’s arms. He dropped his eyes to where Ruben was nervously licking his lips. Those were what he wanted and preferably wrapped around his aching cock.
“Have you ever sucked someone’s cock?” Ruben’s face flushed again. His eyes dropped to Elijah’s chest.
“Sort of?”
“Sort of?” Elijah frowned in confusion. “Is that a question or a statement?”
“I don’t think it counts when you use a dildo.” Ruben’s words were whispered so low that Elijah almost didn’t hear them. When he finally figured out what Ruben was saying, he almost came in his jeans. He swallowed first before speaking, afraid that the desire coursing through his veins would make speech impossible.
“You gave a blow job to a dildo?”
Ruben shrugged, still refusing to meet Elijah’s eyes. “I was practicing.”
Elijah closed his eyes as burning-hot lust blasted through him like an explosion. He could feel his cock leaking, weeping. The image of Ruben practicing a blow job on a dildo was almost enough to bring Elijah to his knees.
“Bathroom,” Elijah growled as he shoved Ruben in that direction.
“Now.”
Ruben’s sudden intake of breath was a balm to Elijah’s soul. The eager rush of the man running for the bathroom inflamed him even more. Ruben wanted this just as much as he did. Elijah was just a step behind Ruben, fiddling with the buttons on his jeans as he shut the door behind them.