Bleak Devotion

bleak devotion

by

Gemma Drazin

Copyright © 2013 Gemma Drazin

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Cover Photo by
Aleshyn_Andrei
at shutterstock.com

Chapter One

Jessica stared at the electric sign strewn with bird's nests, wishing it would light up. But it remained dark. Just like the inside of the store it advertised. Just like the darkness that accompanied her since the invasion happened. Sunlight filtered through the brisk air making the unlit sign less noticeable, but she still noticed. It was easy getting used to things not working, but today she wished more than usual everything was normal again.

“We shouldn't be here,” Cindy whispered. “
They're
going to know something's wrong with us if we keep waiting here, and I really don't want to go in.”

“
We've talked about this. We're going, just give me a sec first.”

She just needed a little more time to prepare for the idiotic task they were about to undertake. Besides, no one seemed to have noticed them yet, and even if they had she didn't think they would do anything. She hoped they wouldn't do anything. A chill shivered across her skin.

It didn't matter. She and Cindy weren't easily visible anyway, hunkering between the abandoned cars. The closest had faded green paint, broken fender, flat passenger side tire, side door with— Jessica's gaze flashed away, but the image had already ripped the tiny bit of calm she'd managed. Her heart struck a frantic beat at the three, vertical cuts slashed through the metal doors. But the thing that had her stomach churning was the splatter of dried blood.

No sense in hovering longer. Jessica urged her friend closer to the store until the offending sight wasn't visible. Not that it helped. Many of the cars held similar scars; reminders that Jessica didn't need and Cindy couldn't handle. She shifted her empty backpack, recalling why they had to do this.

“All right,” Jessica said while eying the area around them, “you can do this. I'll be with you the entire time.”

Cindy's face paled. “What if we're caught? Or what if we were wrong? What if there really is some sort of payment we didn't notice? Or one of
them
is checking to make sure no one's human?”

Ignoring the urge to bite her fingernails, Jessica said what she hoped Cindy needed to hear. “We won't get caught. We've been careful. We've watched and waited. There's never been any sign that payment is necessary and
they
don't appear to have anything like security or police. We'll be fine. We're gonna be just fine.”

“
I don't know.”

“
We've been over this. We're almost out of supplies. We can try and wait longer, but we'll just end up here again. Might as well get it over with. Can you do that for me?”

Cindy closed her eyes and nodded her head.

“I knew you could. Remember, from here on out no talking. Stick to the plan. We'll be out before you know it. And no matter what happens, don't let any emotion show.” Right, she thought to herself, no emotion. “You can do this. We can do this. In and out.”

Her friend continued nodding and a long breath escaped through a slit between her lips. Knowing that was the only answer she was going to get, Jessica attempted to govern her features. Her face was already sculpted into its flat mask and had been since they left their hiding place earlier. She searched every muscle anyway, not trusting her usual control around so many of them. It had better be as neutral as it felt.

They took a few steps closer to the store when a male swung open the front door. Jessica's resolve crumbled. She bent forward, grabbing a hold of the hood of the car next to her. Her eyes burned, throat closing up, choking her. Even as the fear gripped her, she knew better than to give in to tears. A shudder ran through her as she suppressed the memories.

“
Jess?”

The panic in Cindy's voice whipped her metal exterior back into place. “Tripped.”

“Oh. You okay?”

“
Yeah.” But she really wasn't. She wanted to cling to Cindy. To starve rather than continue on, but it wouldn't be just her starving. Refraining from the urge, she straightened and resumed walking.

The store front loomed over them. She focused so completely on the front doors, she tensed when a female grabbed the handle before her. Quickly, Jessica relaxed. The female turned toward her, staring her in the eyes. Jessica carefully kept her features molded into a blank gaze, but knew any second the female would see through her facade and give them away.

The seconds swelled, drawing together like a dam about to burst. The female dropped her gaze and passed through the door. Jessica stared after her, expecting the move to be a feint. Any moment the female would come back, hissing at her.

A gentle nudge tapped her back. A scream clawed at her throat, but before the noise escaped she realized it was just Cindy urging her on. Swallowing the scream, she opened the door and stepped in. Cindy shuffled in after her and the door swung closed, stopping the wind. Without the breeze, the air was warmer, but still chilled Jessica's bare arms.

A slight rotting smell mingled with urine and feces welcomed them. Jessica grimaced, wishing she would have taken a deeper breath outside and held it. The two girls turned their flashlights on and headed toward the grocery section of the store. A scruffy-looking dog darted in front of them. A squeak escaped Cindy. Jessica surveyed the area around them, waiting for something to pounce. When nothing appeared, she wrapped her hand around her friend's thin arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Light from flashlights drew her attention to the others around them. They looked like any random collection of humans, but she knew better. There were only two humans left. Her and Cindy. Besides, people didn't constantly have such bland expressions on their faces. At least, she didn't think they did. It was hard to remember anything from before the invasion.

The invasion. A tremor spread across her arms and through her body. Her breathing deepened as a film of sweat moistened her forehead. She grappled with her fear, shoving it deep inside herself until she regained control. She berated herself for letting her emotions peek through. Forcing herself to keep focused, she took a moment to count the other flashlights. Twelve. That wasn't too bad. Not great either, especially if they were mostly males. Another tremor scampered across her body before she could stop it. Clamping her teeth down, she forced her muscles to still.

She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. The need to fit in better stung her survival instinct. She mimicked the movements of those around her in the store. Unhurried, yet precise. A murmur of chatter echoed through the dark building, adding to the eerie atmosphere. Attempts to understand the hisses and whistles proved useless. She kept silent, saving speech for when they had finished their chore.

As they approached the produce section the rotting stench increased, invading Jessica's nose. Fruits and vegetables were scattered throughout the area, covering much of the floor. On one of the tables sat what she thought were hunks of raw meat being gnawed on by a rat. Most of the food was unrecognizable, but two females still sifted through it. One of the females brought an item to its mouth and ate it. Jessica repressed the urge to heave. Maybe the female would at least get food poisoning. Forcing her gaze away, she struggled through the times tables to keep her thoughts somewhere else.

Once they were a few aisles away from the produce, Jessica took a breath. The air still stank, but was more bearable. Beside her, Cindy stood out against the darkness with her pale face. Jessica wondered if the lack of color in Cindy's face would be close enough to an emotion to give them away. Whether it was or not, there was nothing she could do about it, unless they turned around and left that instant. Retreat wasn't an option. They needed this.

She went back to counting the lights again to get away from thoughts that would not help. Fourteen. She sucked in a quick, quiet breath. Their numbers were growing. The gnawing fear about them being mostly males struggled to reach the forefront of her mind. She shoved the thought away as the air swirled and tickled her right arm.

She glanced over long enough to see her flashlight reflected in several rectangles of metal embedded in the back of a thick arm. Her heart quivered. The metal left her view. Pinching her eyes shut, she attempted to remain calm. She was close to a male. She had almost bumped into it. Nothing of the fray inside her could be let loose.

She lengthened her stride, increasing the distance between them. Then she realized the male hadn't been carrying a flashlight. Suddenly, twelve sounded like a much better number than the unknown creeping around her. She suppressed another shiver.

Chancing another peek at Cindy made her stomach clench. Her friend's eyes appeared huge, widened so much, that she was sure to give them away. Jessica tapped her on the elbow and gave several long blinks. Cindy's eyes somehow managed to grow even larger, fear leaking out them, but then they closed for a moment and opened again. Jessica gave a slight nod, though they were still larger than they should be, and her friend dropped her gaze to the floor.

When they reached the first canned food aisle, they both shone their lights down the row. Half-empty shelves and a raccoon playing with a bag met them. Jessica struggled not to give a sigh of relief. They walked down the aisle, each taking a different side. She tried to focus on what she stuffed in her bag, but her gaze kept drifting toward the ends of the aisle. Several times lights drifted past, but none turned their way. She gave silent thanks at the unexpected luck.

Her stomach growled. She wished she could shush it. There was no way to explain to her stomach it must do everything in its power not to draw attention to them. There had been so little to eat the past few weeks. She wanted to open the can and inhale the contents cold. It would have to wait. It would take time that she wasn't willing to spend. Besides, she didn't have a can opener with her; the other one had gotten lost with her old backpack. She made a mental note to grab a new one.

Her arm sagged as her bag grew heavier. She stopped loading and motioned to Cindy. Together they walked the rest of the way down the aisle and continued their journey deeper into the store. At each aisle they shone their lights down it. Twice, their lights landed on a female. When they finally found shelves with plastic packaged foods, she gave another silent thanks for the emptiness of the aisle. They turned down it and again headed to opposite sides of the aisle.

Jessica shoved the lighter food in, worrying if it would provide enough nutrition during the winter months ahead. She didn't know. It would help if they could head south. Was it a fight she wanted to have again? Halting her progress for a moment, she glanced at Cindy, who had gotten several feet ahead of her.

Her friend had been through a lot, they both had. Jessica knew why the girl wanted to stay, why it was the only thing they fought about, but it was something they needed to do. She shook her head and grabbed for another package of dried soup. Rehydrating it might be a problem, but they could eat it dry if they had too. She'd worry about it later. There were more than enough worries to keep her occupied.

Two lights at the end of the aisle caught her attention. She gave a silent grumble, but kept her face flat as they turned toward the girls instead of continuing on. As they got closer, she averted her eyes and took a deep breath. She forced herself to give no hints of the panic attack thrashing within her. Instead she continued looking for food. The task helped to nudge her mind away from the danger.

The lights drew closer. Jessica forced slow and steady breaths. She chanced a glance over at Cindy. A trill of worry snuck down her spine when she saw Cindy rummaging for supplies so far away from her. She stifled her reaction, grateful the building was dark and no lights shone directly on her face. Her slip up mostly likely would go unnoticed, but better control was imperative.

The pounding of her heart amplified. Inwardly she cringed, fearing the sound would give her away. She reached for another package. Her hands trembled. With a nonvocal chastisement, she hastened to grab the item and shove it in her backpack. Shining the light in her bag, she pretended to rummage around for something. If she hid her hands maybe the shakes wouldn't be as noticeable.

The light brushed over her, taking no longer than necessary. As the padding footsteps ambled past her, an inaudible thanks hovered on her lips. They had avoided detection. Perhaps they'd complete the whole trip without being noticed. The sooner they escaped, the better. Jessica didn't plan on coming back any time in the near future. There had to be a better way to find food. This wasn't worth it.

She grabbed another package of dried soup, eager to speed things along. A whimper sounded and the soup plummeted to the floor. A gruesome metallic slash clanged through the air. Slowly, she turned, dreading the familiar bloody sight she knew awaited her.