Blessed Fate (32 page)

"Rain, you coming?" I don't know why I asked this every day when I got ready to head over to Jon's. It had been almost two months since she started therapy, and she still hadn't made a decision about the band. I knew that if we could get her in the studio, show her how much she missed it, she would eventually be grateful for the push.

"No, you go on without me," she shouted from the balcony.

I snatched the bike keys off my kitchen counter and stormed out the front door, slamming it in hopes that she would realize how frustrating her stubborn streak was at times. Yes, we had all screwed up, and yes, she needed to get her life in order, but it seemed like she should be feeling well enough to decide whether she was in or out.

I knew I was being a little bitch about it, but with nine days left before we hit the road once again, time was running out. I had spent every single day since her court hearing trying to prove to her how much she meant to me. When her brother and his partner went home, I insisted that she move into my secure building and live with me rent-free while she was making her decision. I was just starting to feel like I had her back in my life, and now I was going to be getting on a bus and leaving her behind.

As much as it irritated the hell out of me that we couldn't get her to come back to the band yet, I was proud as hell of my girl. Twice a week, she was talking to a therapist, something she swore she would never do. For as long as I had known her, she had always seemed moody and had an air of sadness surrounding her, no doubt because of the issues with her family. Now, for the first time, she seemed truly happy. Not the perky, bubbly, want to smack the shit out of someone for being that way early in the morning happy, just content. It made coming home after practice my favorite part of the day. Now, if only that journey was with her arms wrapped around my waist on the bike, life would be about perfect.

Jon looked up from some guitar tabs he was tweaking when I walked into his basement. Seeing I was alone, once again, he went back to what he was working on. The mood between us was strained because we didn't agree on the Rain situation. He was perfectly content to head out on our seventeen day, ten-stop jaunt if it meant she was in a better place mentally. I thought that leaving her alone while we hit the road was a good way to make her feel abandoned.

"You guys have plans for Thanksgiving?" I asked as we sat around not doing much of anything. Sure, we had written some new songs and tweaked others to fit our new sound since adding Jared to the group, but there wasn't much we could do until we knew what our lineup was going to look like.

"Not me," Travis said, grabbing a round of beers out of the fridge.

"Jared, you heading home?"

"Nope. Not really time to fly out, spend time and fly back."

I knew better than to expect a response out of Jon. For nearly a decade, we had spent our holidays together. The only time he spent it with family was when I got together with mine and brought him with me. He and his old man didn't exactly get along, and his mom died when he was eleven.

"Okay, well I'm going to have dinner catered to the condo, and you asshats had better be there." In order for this to go the way I wanted, I
needed
them to be there.

"Dude, you really are growing a vag, aren't you?" Jon chuckled from behind the piano. If it was anyone other than my best bud, that would have gotten old a long time ago. From him, it was almost reassuring, as strained as things had been between us. "Martha-fucking-Stewart going to come and decorate too?" He threw a wadded piece of paper at me.

"Shut up, dickweed." I threw the paper back at him. "No, I'm going to invite Rain's family in for the week and thought it'd be nice to have a family dinner. You know, with her two families. And since their ma's gone, I figured they could stand to be together this year."

"I'm down," Travis hollered from inside the sound room. "You just better hope someone can do it on short notice, bud. A lot of those companies would have booked up months ago."

Little did he know that I had been planning this since shortly after Rain and I got together. I hadn't intended it to be strained between us, and my original plan was shot to hell thanks to my own stupidity, but she did need this. Maybe it would show her that life went on, and it was time for her to join the living. No way was I going to hit the road again without her. Once was already one more time than I wanted to deal with.

"Jon, mind if I use the office for a bit?" I couldn't do any of the final planning from my home office. There was too much of a chance Rain would walk in or get on my computer and see what I had been up to.

"Yeah, just no animal porn this time, 'kay?"

"Hey man, quit sending it to me if you don't want me looking. You should be ashamed of yourself," I laughed, flipping him off as I closed the door. It seemed like as long as we avoided the topic of Rain's future with the band, the balance in life was slowly being restored.

Rain said she was going to be fine the morning we loaded up the bus to hit the road. I'd gone so far as to pack a bag for her in hopes she'd change her mind at the last second and come with us, but she hadn't. I tried to hide the disappointment I felt that she couldn't see how strong she was, that she had made a ton of progress and this was a short trip. She swore she would be fine and keep herself so busy she wouldn't even know we were gone. Apparently, she was able to keep herself occupied for just over two hours. Then my cell phone started pinging non-stop with text messages.

Rain: I miss you. Kick ass out there tomorrow.

Me: We always do. Miss you.

Rain: Miss you too. And you kick ass naturally when I'm there. Now you have to work for it.

Me: IDK, the kid's getting pretty good. If he could fill out those corsets you used to wear, I think we could make them believe he's you.

Rain: Don't pick on him. He'll tell me, and I'll kick your ass.

Me: Promise?

Rain: You wish. Miss you.

Me: Love you, Maddie.

Rain: I know.

I hoped the day would come when she could say she loved me in return, but I was glad she wasn't saying it if she wasn't ready. That didn't make it hurt less, but I had hope we were getting closer.

With Rain back in Portland, there was no reason for me to monopolize the bedroom on the bus. Unfortunately, that meant Jon used it as often as possible, bringing back random women in each city. He really was a fucking pig when it came to women. Then again, I hadn't been a saint myself, and I might have been right there with him if I hadn't spent so many years hung up on Rain.

"Dude, you making up for lost time or some shit?" I asked after Jon ushered his latest conquest to the door. It really was disgusting, the way he would invite them in, bang them and send them packing.

"Livin' the life, buddy. With any luck, this is the only stag trip we'll have." He grabbed a beer and flopped onto the sofa, smelling like sex and cheap perfume. "Gotta enjoy it while I can."

"So, you can't have sex when Rain's on the bus?" The thought was beyond ridiculous to me.

"Well, I could, but she doesn't need to see that shit. Gotta keep her thinking I'm the good guy, especially with you being an ass half the time."

"Uh, Jon..." Jared looked up from his sketchpad. "I don't think anyone thinks you're the good guy when it comes to sex and women. Hell, you should see the scoreboard the crew has on the other bus keeping track of what you do. Swear to god, you're a role model to half those delinquents."

I was really starting to like Jared. At first, he seemed too quiet, clean cut and young to fit in, but once he realized he was one of us, he started to come out of his shell.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Jon asked, snatching away my iPad. I really didn't need him seeing that I was looking at rings. Yes, it was too soon, but the time would come when I asked Rain to marry me, and I wanted to be ready for it. "Man, she won't even let you sleep in the same room as her, and you're looking at diamonds? You really are a chick, you know that?" He tossed the tablet back to me.

"Fuck off. Just because you're content screwing randoms for the rest of your life doesn't mean some of us don't want to eventually settle down and have a family." I felt my cheeks flush in a combination of irritation at Jon for being a prick and embarrassment that he had a point. There was no guarantee that she would say yes when the time came. If she decided we would never be together again, I was wasting a big chunk of money.

After searching for hours trying to find the perfect diamond ring for Rain, I realized my mistake. Diamonds are typical, traditional and expected, none of which are words I would use to describe Rain. Within five minutes of figuring out where I had gone wrong, I was the proud owner of the perfect ring to show her how I felt about her.

The bus rolled back into town at the ass-crack of dawn, two days before Thanksgiving. It wasn't ideal, but we had to head home and get some sleep for a local show before having five days off and hitting it hard for the end of the year.

"Hey, I have to go meet Rain's family at the diner. You guys get my bag and meet me down there?" After they had their fair share of good-natured ribbing about me turning into a chick with my elaborate plans to not only get back together with Rain but to get her to agree to spending the rest of her life with my sorry ass, my band mates had all asked what they could do to help.

They were going to head over to the venue to get things in place there while I met with Rain's dad. For everything to turn out the way I needed it to, we needed to get her back on stage for this show. She needed to be on the bus with us Sunday night.

"Good luck, buddy. If her brothers kill you before we can get there, I'll take good care of your bike," Travis said, thumping me on the back. I had worried about telling him what I was planning to do. Out of the four of us, I knew he was actually the most protective over Rain, even when it didn't seem like it. He was the first person to know what all she had been through. He had promised his friend that he would keep an eye on her and keep her clean. He wound up being the most supportive, even though he's taking bets that I'll get my ass kicked at some point in the process.