Blind Faith (38 page)

“Sorry about that,” McKinley sounded completely composed.  “I must be coming down with something.  My throat is so dry I can barely swallow.”  She coughed again for affect.  “Maybe we should continue this another time so you don’t catch…whatever it is I’ve got.”

“Somehow, I doubt what you have is contagious,” Serena replied, “but I’m willing to take that risk.  You see, I started to remember things about the night I was attacked…things about what led up to it, things about you.  But there are still a few gaps I
would
like you to fill in.”

“Me?  I can’t imagine what you think I could tell you.”

“For starters, you can tell me why you lied to Will when he asked if you had seen me.”

“There’s no real mystery there,” McKinley’s laugh was forced.  “I
had
finally gotten Will alone in the woods.  I wasn’t about to tell him you were already there so he could race off to find you.  Sorry, little sister, but you can hardly blame me because I wanted him for myself.”

“No…I can’t blame you for
that
,” she said pointedly.

“But you think I’m to blame for other things, is that it?”

Serena took her time answering.  McKinley was on the defensive
;
hurtling accusations at her would only get her hackles up and cause an argument.  The last thing she wanted was to have Will and Rose come charging to the rescue or have McKinley storm out without hearing what she had to say
or answering her questions
.  It was imperative
to handle this calmly, to get it over and done with, and then maybe…maybe she could truly leave the past behind her.

“When we were driving to the party all you talked about was how popular you were, especially with the boys.  You said you felt sorry for me because I would never know how it felt to have someone want me so bad they
would
do anything for me.  Then you laughed and told me all you had to do was smile at a boy and he
would
follow you around like puppy dog.  Do you remember what I said to that, McKinley?”

“How should I know?  That was eons ago,” McKinley snapped. 

“Except Will,” Serena repeated the words that had triggered her memory.  “I could tell you were furious because you knew it was true.”

“I was not
furious
,” McKinley denied vehemently.  “As I recall, I said I knew Will had a thing for you and offered to help find him once we got there.”

“Is that what you were doing when you told Will I wouldn’t even be there for an hour and then conned him into taking a walk in the woods with you?”

“So I changed my mind, big deal.”

“
Big deal?
” Serena’s voice shook with anger.  “You didn’t just change your mind, McKinley.  You had it all worked out before we ever got there, didn’t you?  Once you admitted to yourself that Will really was interested in me, you were so jealous you couldn’t see straight.”

“You can’t be serious,” McKinley sounded highly amused.  “You are truly delusional if you think there was
ever
a time when I was jealous of you.”

“You
were
jealous,” she insisted.  “You were so green with it you would have done anything to keep Will and I apart.  I remember
everything
, McKinley.  I remember how you deceived me into going inside that cave alone.  You handed me a flashlight and told me to stop being such a coward.  You said all the kids did it, that it was a test of sorts. 
Wait in the cave
, you told me,
and
I’ll tell Will you’re here.  If he comes for you, then you’ll know for sure he
is
sweet on you
.  Except you had no intention of telling Will I was waiting for him, did you?”

“No,” McKinley replied simply.

Serena waited for her to elaborate, still foolishly hoping her sister would apologize, but of course she didn’t.  That’s when it hit her like a vicious punch to the stomach
because McKinley knew how heartbroken she would be when Will didn’t show.  But her sister
had done far worse than neglect to tell Will she was waiting for him. 
McKinley
sent those boys to the cave to make sure Serena stayed there until after
she
had coerced Will into the woods!

She squeezed her eyes shut, dragging air into her lungs and silently praying for the strength to see this through without crumbling.  The mounting flood of emotions washed over her in unrelenting waves and it took every ounce of will power to remain standing in the wake of what she
had
uncovered. Ice filled her veins and she started to tremble. 

McKinley’s selfish behavior had been the catalyst for everything that followed; that much, Serena had already discerned.  The responsibility for tucking her away in the cave so Will wouldn’t find her rested solely on McKinley’s shoulders and, until this moment, Serena had believed that was as far as her sister’s involvement went.  It hit her
hard
;
the
unshakeable and abysmal recognition of the unvarnished truth.  It was an ugly, vile creature that sank its teeth into her, slowly and methodically peeling back the layers of lies to expose McKinley for what she really was. 

It wasn’t just an unfortunate coincidence that Randy Porter and his friends had chosen to go inside that particular cave.  They’d known all along she was by herself and that no one would come looking for her because McKinley had told them.  And though McKinley hadn’t revealed anything to make her suspect it was fact and not simply a product of her imagination, Serena knew she was right. 

It chilled her to the bone to realize the depth of McKinley’s treachery, to know her sister had sent that pack of
hyenas
into the cave to…to do what?  Had McKinley merely asked them to keep her occupied and they acted on their own when they attacked her?  Or had she instructed them to keep Serena inside the cave at all costs, giving them free rein to do whatever it took to accomplish that goal?  As appalling as the idea was, Serena had
an unsettling
feeling it was the latter.  

“I need to ask you a question,” Serena said, the
pain
in her heart so oppressive it was a struggle to form the words.  “But…there’s something I want to say first.  This conversation, everything we’ve said and what we are about to discuss…will never leave this room.  I don’t want anyone’s pity and have no intension of making you out to be the villain.  I just want the truth, McKinley.  Plain and simple.  No embellishments, no omissions, and no excuses.  I think you owe me that much.”

“You’re not going to tell anyone,” McKinley said with obvious skepticism, “not even Will?”

Serena shuddered as a vivid image of Will strangling McKinley fluttered through her mind.  “Not a living soul, I swear.”

“All right, but if you breathe a word to
anyone
…”

“I am not a dishonest person, you know that.”

“Meaning, I am?”

Serena shrugged.  “I’m only concerned that you’re honest with me right now.”

“
Fine. 
Let’s not drag this on any longer than necessary,” McKinley said impatiently.

“Did you…” Serena stopped, silently chastising herself for sounding so feeble. 

It’s now or never
, she thought, convinced the opportunity would never present itself again.  Even so, there was a part of her that wished she could bury her head in the sand and pretend McKinley had nothing to do with it.  She wouldn’t, of course; it had gone too far for that.  Besides, she
had
braved it out this far, hadn’t she?  Serena lifted her chin and squared her shoulders, giving her confidence a little boost before starting again.      

“When you sent Randy and the others to the cave, did you know what they were planning to do to me?”

“No!  Look, all I did was tell them to make sure you didn’t leave the cave.  I didn’t ask how they intended to keep you there because…well, quite frankly, I didn’t care.  I assumed they
would
pressure into drinking a few beers and that you
would
be too timid to say no.”

“My God, McKinley, you had to have known they were half drunk already.  Didn’t it occur to you they might pressure me into doing other things as well?”

“I don’t know…maybe.”

“
Maybe?
”

“Come on, Randy was a good looking kid.  So were the other boys, as I recall.  I figured once you got a little tipsy, you
would
loosen up and enjoy the attention, maybe pick one of them to make out with.  I didn’t really care,” she said casually.  “As long as you and Will never hooked up, I was happy.”

Serena pressed a shaky hand to her stomach.  It didn’t help much.  She was perilously close to losing the breakfast she’d just eaten and could almost feel the color leeching from her face.  It took her a moment to fight off the nausea and it was only through sheer determination that she was able to regain any semblance of composure. 

“Did you even ask about me?”

“No, why would I?  When we got back to the party, I spotted Will with his arm draped around that little tart, Jennie Barkley.  Randy and his buddies were there too.  I figured there were two possible scenarios: Randy scared you off, or you’d seen Will with Jennie.  Either way, you would have hitched a ride home the first chance you got.”

It made sense, and Serena could easily believe McKinley hadn’t spared a single minute worrying about her.  She replayed it all in her mind; everything Will had told her, the gaps that McKinley had filled in so far, and her own memories of that night,
al
though she deliberately blocked out the actual attack.  There was no need to relive those
moments, no need to suffer the pain and humiliation, because somewhere deep inside Serena knew that wasn’t the
real
reason she
had
withdrawn into a world of darkness.

Emotional scars run far deeper and take longer to heal than physical ones, and Serena had taken a beating from both ends of that particular stick.  Her innocence had been shattered, her trusting heart ripped out and torn to shreds when those four boys
d
ragged her to the ground and sexually assaulted her.  They stripped away her dignity and sense of self-worth, but it was McKinley’s betrayal that had truly broken her.

Randy, Steven, the Morgan brothers; all of them played a part in crippling her spirit.  But McKinley had crushed it, utterly and completely, without thought, without
regret
.  She’d left Serena with a spirit that might never have recovered…if not for Will.

It was his love, his blind faith in Serena’s ability to overcome her fears
that had carried her back to the land of the living.  He’d lent her his strength when she had none of her own, taken her hand and walked with her when she was afraid to walk alone.  And he believed in her, made Serena believe in herself, made her see there was still a heart beating in her chest and that i
t
was not only capable of love, but bursting with it.

“I have one more question,” Serena said, her voice strong and unwavering.  “The police came to the hospital after Will
left
to find Randy and the other boys.  They questioned Anthony and Sawyer…and you.  But I distinctly remember Will saying that
he
was the one who gave them the names of the four boys involved.  You
sent
Randy and the others to the cave so you had to have known they were responsible, yet you said nothing to the police about it.  Why didn’t you tell them, McKinley?”

“Well, I…I couldn’t be
sure
it was them,” McKinley replied.  “I mean, they were at the bon fire when we returned from the woods
. 
I would have felt just awful if I accused them and then found out they were innocent.”