Authors: Heidi McLaughlin
I don’t give Gary an answer as I step away from him. If he wants this, he’s going to have to fight for it. The bell rings and he comes at me like a thundering bull. If we were cartoon characters, his face would be red and steam would be billowing out of his nostrils. My reaction time is slow, and he slams me into the ropes. I’m thankful that the sumo suit takes most of the brunt force and allows me to bounce toward him. We grapple in the middle of the ring and it dawns on me that I’ve never asked whether he played sports in high school.
Joey and Millie start the countdown from ten seconds. It’s now or never. I move toward him, tripping over my own feet. I put on my best Oscar face as I fall to the mat, letting my arms flail. When Gary jumps on me, I groan and struggle to push him off me. I even whine a little for effect. I could fight him off, but who am I to stand in way of true love, or whatever connection he has with Rebekah. Bronx, however, might have a different idea and I’m sure Amanda will lose her shit.
Gary whispers thank you before he stands, setting me free. As soon as I’m out, Joey is there to help me out of my suit.
“You can’t be serious,” Amanda yells as she rushes to the mat. “If you go on the date with her,” she points at Rebekah, “you and I are done.”
Gary’s head turns as if it’s on a swivel, looking from Amanda to Rebekah. “It’s just a game,” Gary remarks, but Amanda isn’t buying it. She must know something, or she’s insanely jealous. Although, with the way Rebekah is around the girls, I’m not sure what she’d be jealous of.
“I mean it, Gary,” Amanda says, storming off.
“What was that?” she asks as her cold hands cool my overheated skin.
“I’ll tell you during nap time,” I reply as I wink at her.
She stops, and looks me in the eyes. The smile is faint, but it’s there, creeping along her lips. Joey’s cheeks flush and I want to jump up and down with excitement that I finally said something that is tearing down the wall around her heart.
I follow Joey to the side of the ring and start chanting for Millie. Cole joins, encouraging his wife to beat Rebekah. I find it odd and elbow him, giving him a questioningly look.
“If she wins, I’m assuming the fans would still vote for us.”
I nod in agreement with his thinking. At least he’s looking at this from a positive viewpoint.
But the match is over before we know it, with Millie on her back and Rebekah sitting on top of her.
“That woman is deadly,” Joey says, earning a glare from Rebekah. “See what I’m saying!”
“Congratulations, Gary and Rebekah,” Patrick says enthusiastically through the loud speaker. We all clap, mostly thankful that this beast of a show is over.
“Get some rest, newlyweds. Master suite competition begins at midnight.”
Gary and Amanda start arguing before any of us can really comprehend that in a few short hours we’ll be back to competing. The thought of sleeping in the master suite tonight does excite me, though, and I start to mentally make plans for Joey and I in the tub.
I grab Joey’s hand and drag her through the house and into our room, pulling the sliding door behind us.
“Joey, I—”
She holds up her hand, stopping me before I can tell her how I feel. “I want to finish what I was telling you earlier. Last night I read for a little bit because I wasn’t feeling very well.”
“You slept with sweatpants on,” I blurt out, having lost my filter.
She starts to laugh, but covers her mouth. Joey looks at me with a straight face. “Because Rebekah gave this Holy Roller speech about the amount of skin she was seeing already so I put them on, hoping she’d shut up. When I came to bed, I was so tired I just lied down. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“So you’re not mad at me?” I need to know because all afternoon I’ve been worried that I’ve screwed up any chance of us being a couple outside the show.
“You’re cute, you know that?” she says, leaning up on her tippy toes to meet my lips.
“Wanna make out or sleep?”
“Shower?” she questions.
“They taken, we have to wait our turn, so back to my original question. Wanna make out or sleep?” Please say make out because making out can and will definitely lead to touching and I want to touch her.
“Oh, I’m all for a bit of tonsil hockey.”
I thank the heavens above when she jumps into my arms. I hold her for a moment before I let my lips do all the work. It’s only a matter of seconds before I’m aroused. I maneuver us under the comforter, cloaking in a little bit of dark. As I lay her down and her hair fans out over the comforter, I know that in this moment that yes, she’s definitely worth it.
I just have to find the words to tell her, and make her believe it’s me Joshua Michael Wilson who is falling for her and not Joshua Freaking Wilson, the guy on her hall pass list.
W
aking up in Josh’s arms, his legs tangled in mine, is the best feeling ever, except I need a shower. Waking up to the sound of Linda telling us we have ten minutes until competition is not my cup of tea, especially since we fell asleep and missed our chance to wash the grim off from earlier. It’s 11:50 p.m. and I feel like I can conquer anything. Hopefully, this holds true as we have the master suite competition in a few minutes. Why it has to start at midnight is beyond me. I’m tired, happy to be with Josh, and could sleep throughout the night without any problems.
Right now, I feel like we’ve turned a corner in our relationship. I want to be brave and sit him down—discuss what happens after the show—but I’m afraid. I’m so terrified to see the look in his eyes when he tells me nothing has changed and that he’ll still be pursuing the annulment. Only it won’t be because we hadn’t consummated our relationship. I don’t think that excuse can even hold up. Neither of us was intoxicated or mentally unstable. I could say I was coerced, but one look at my bedroom would prove me a fool. I think Josh is out of luck. If he wants out, it’ll be a divorce.
One I’d give him if he asked because I’ve known since day one it’d happen.
Josh stirs in my arms, pulling me closer to his naked body. After the sumo competition we came in here to talk, which lead to kissing, which lead to getting under the covers. From there fingers worked the strings of my bikini and somehow toes were able to shimmy down his shorts. Sadly, for the freaks watching the twenty-four feed we didn’t have sex on camera. We did, however, fool around. Josh and I are getting to know each other. We’re just doing it a bit backwards.
“We have about five minutes,” I say as I snuggle into his chest. Right here is where I want to be. I could die here in his arms and be happy.
“These producers are freaking evil. After the luxury comp from hell, why can’t they let us sleep?”
I shrug in his arms, knowing that he’s really not looking for an answer, he’s just complaining. On the inside, I’m complaining, too.
“Two minutes, newlyweds.”
“Linda’s so annoying,” I mumble as I sit up, careful to hold the sheets to my body. The last thing I want is for my tatas to be all over social media. Josh slips his T-shirt over my head before getting out of bed. As soon as his back is to me, I pull his shirt to my nose and breathe in deeply. His scent is something I’m never going to forget.
Getting out of bed, I rush to get dressed so we can meet everyone for the competition. With my hair piled in a messy bun and Josh sporting a ball cap we walk out together, ready for this midnight competition.
“I really hope this doesn’t involve water.”
Josh pulls the top of his shirt open and looks down. “Ah, you put a bra on. That means no wet T-shirt contest for you.”
I slap him and walk away to join Millie at the kitchen island. After pouring myself a cup of coffee, I join her in our zombiefied movements as we suck down the much needed caffeine jolt.
“Newlyweds, please go to the backyard.”
Screw off, Linda
.
There’s a loud audible sigh from each of us as the black curtain lifts and bright lights light up the backyard. We line up and wait for the doom that awaits us.
Bronx is the first one at the door, sliding it open for us to step out. Each of us mutters something unintelligible as we take in what’s before us. The backyard has been converted to a neighborhood. There are four houses, each a different style and each with our last names on.
“Good morning, this is your domestication challenge,” Patrick says over the loud speaker. It’s nice to know he has to be up for this as well. “For the past few months, you’ve had it easy and real life is anything but. For the next few days you’ll be competing in the most grueling competition
Married Blind
has ever done. This is where you’ll live and sleep until one last couple is left standing. Each couple has different scenarios and your only competition is yourself.
“You will follow each challenge until you give up. If you want to call defeat, you’ll both be required to press the red button in the center of the yard. Newlyweds, please go to your respective houses and get to know your home. Your challenges will be timed.”
Josh takes me by the hand and leads us to what’s going to be our home for this challenge. The outside is white with blue shutters and a white picket fence. Even the mailbox says Wilson. Josh opens the door, turns around, and scoops me into his arms.
“I have to carry you over the threshold.”
On the inside, I’m swooning and dying at little at how freaking sweet he is. On the outside, I’m rolling my eyes and enjoying being carried. I wish it were real though.
Josh sets me down, saying, “Whoa,” as he takes in the house. It’s small, but definitely a home. We enter in through a small foyer with a living room right in front of us. One of the loveseats from the main living room is in here, something I didn’t even notice was missing when I woke up. There’s a small staircase and a hallway that I’m assuming will lead to the kitchen and hopefully a bathroom.
“Well, we should get to know the house, right?” I say as I start to walk down the hall. There’s a kitchen with one small counter, a tiny fridge, and a two-burner oven. For seating, there are two barstools pushed under a small counter lip. Josh stands behind me as I open the cabinets. We have two of everything as far as dishes go, but only one frying and saucepan.
“I think when they did our house they forgot about your career.”
“You ain’t shitting. I’m almost afraid to see what’s upstairs.”
Hopefully a bathroom since there isn’t one downstairs
. I follow Josh as he climbs up, having to duck until the staircase opens up. The bathroom has a single shower with no tub and two bedrooms off the side. The “master” bedroom is small with a queen size mattress and box spring leaving barely enough room to get by.
“My apartment is bigger than this.”
My response wants to be, “Can’t wait to see it,” but I know that’s never going to happen so I just nod like I already know what it looks like. The apartment Tony and I had leased for after our wedding was bigger than this.
We move down the hall to the second bedroom, but find the door locked. “Great, our house is haunted,” I say, causing him to laugh.
The doorbell rings and even though this is a show, we’re both excited and go rushing down the steps. Josh opens the door as I peer over his shoulder. There’s a big box with a letter taped to the front. He pulls the letter off and reads it.
“Congratulations, Joshua and Joey. Inside, you’ll find your lifestyle and job details. Welcome to reality.”
Josh and I look at each other questioningly before he picks the box up and carries it inside. We tear it open like its Christmas until we see what’s inside.
“What the—”
“Fuck?” Josh says, finishing my sentence because in the box is not only a baby, but a fat suit … a pregnant fat suit.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Babe, I’m saying this now so you can never hold it against me. I’m sorry.”
I glare at him. This is worse than having a flour baby with Keith “the stink” Finkly in high school.
“Joshua and Joey, congratulations on the recent birth of your daughter. One of your first challenges is giving her name. Congratulations are also in order for the announcement that you’re expecting twins.”
My blood boils as he reads this letter out loud.