Blind (Senses Series Book 1) (3 page)

Chapter 5

Logan

I’ll never forget the first time I slept in the same bed with Maxx. She’d just moved into town and into her aunt’s place. She’d sat with Erin at lunch, and I remember wondering how long Erin was going to give to this new pet project. Baggy jeans. An old video game t-shirt, Mario Brothers. How can you not love Mario Brothers?

Oversized glasses with her hair all over her head. I knew what Erin saw, and that was a disaster project she could play with. She loved having life sized dolls to play with. And what did I see? A girl who probably had her own fucked up past to hide from. You know what they say, trouble recognizes trouble. Only difference was she was looking to find solid ground, which Erin and Luke were golden for. With parents like theirs who had a firm open door policy for their friends, it was a no brainer that Maxx ended up getting sucked in.

After school that day, Erin demanded I walk Maxx home because she had a dance lesson and Luke had soccer.

You’ve met Erin by now. When she says to do something you just kind of fucking do it. She’s like me. We don’t really do ‘no’ very well, if at all.

So I did. And when the old man stumbled in later that night after he had clearly been at the bar drinking, I snuck out my window and into hers. Without question, she invited me to sleep beside her and without question she kept her window unlocked for me from that night on. I didn’t always find myself in her bed, but over the years I can honestly say the chances were higher for me going to be beside her versus anywhere else. Even after I’d bang a girl’s brains out and she’d beg me to stay, I wouldn’t. I told them upfront it wasn’t in the deal.

Look. Get this now. I can’t give Maxx what she wants most. I just can’t. But I can give her that.

She wiggles beside me and stretches her mocha colored arm across my lower abs pulling me into her with a heavy sigh.

Fuck. You know, if I thought I could give her what she wanted I would. But I can’t. She wants me to be permanent. Do you have any idea what that fucking means? That means raising the ante. Chancing the possibility of taking a sharp shot to an open chest because you’ve stayed in one spot for too long. I’ll be straight with you. I didn’t learn much from my old man ‘cause he was a son of a bitch, but what I did learn, after numerous beatings, was it’s best to keep moving. Less chance at getting knocked out. Less pain. Less chance of getting hurt. Papa wasn’t a rolling stone. Papa was a raging fist.

Her nails grip my hip and I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from making any sound.

Fuck, it takes everything in me not to roll her over and bury myself balls deep. I thought fucking a sure thing like Liz last night would get the images of Maxx out of my head, but all it did was make me wish Maxx had been the girl under me last night. It got so bad I couldn’t fucking come. Had to jerk off after she fell asleep. Lied and told her too much adrenaline left over from the fight. She didn’t complain. After three orgasms they rarely do. You wouldn’t complain after three orgasms in a row either.

The feel of her soft breath against my skin causes my dick that was already at attention to flex.
We’ve been down this road before buddy. Ain’t gonna happen.
My cock doesn’t back down. Just stays standing like the proud bastard he is. I roll my eyes and squeeze them shut.

I’ve wanted to screw her for years without screwing her. But there’s no way. There’s no way to sleep with Maxx without fucking up years of a perfect friendship. She deserves better than that. She deserves better than me. Look, I may be an asshole, and you may hate me like I hate myself at times, but trust me. I’d rather give my left nut than hurt Maxx.

I stretch over to her bedside table for the remote and turn on her flat screen that’s mounted on the wall in hopes she’ll wake up and slightly untangle herself from me. With one arm propped behind the back of my head, I use the other to locate the movie channel.

James Bond. A man I can relate to. One that never stays with one woman too long, never gets too attached, drives fast cars and is amazing with his fists. And just like James Bond, all the ladies openly worship me. It’s okay that you do too. I won’t tell. Biggest differences between us? Other than him being British and working for his country, I don’t do suits and I don’t drink. It’s a proven fact that any time alcohol hits my bloodline it results in the beating of a spouse, and or children, and eventually an alcohol involved death. I already know I’m gonna die young. No need to tempt fate, ya feel me?

Maxx’s sweet voice rambles off a quote from the movie announcing her arrival back into the conscious world. I smirk and glance down at her. “Ah. Back to the living?”

She lets out a small grunt, rolls on her back, slides her glasses back onto her face, and repositions her head on my chest. I smile widely.

I wouldn’t give up these moments for anything.

Maxx shuffles around beside me again kicking the blanket so it just barely covers her smooth legs that I want to run my hands up.

“God she’s gorgeous,” she sighs at the T.V.

“You’re gorgeous too, Maximus.”

“Ugh. Please. Do you see her?”

I glance up at the actress on T.V. and back down. Sure she looks hot with all her makeup, her nice dress, and her heels that look amazing high in the air.

Seen many pairs of designer shoes over my shoulders. The ones with the red sole, aren’t they really fucking expensive?

However, there’s something truly beautiful about a girl who can rock a pair of workout shorts, a sweatshirt, and a messy bun. If you can look that fucking beautiful in the bare minimum, all dudes are fucked if you actually put forth effort. Just like I was last night when Maxx stepped on the stage.

“Did you see
you
last night?”

Her face twitches with a smile before she sighs, “I was so nervous.”

“Didn’t look it.” I watch as Maxx lets her gorgeous smile slip across her lips. “In fact, it looked like you were made to strut around like that.”

“Yeah, right.” Her lack of self confidence has always been  baffling to me, but the thing I’m secretly most thankful for.

She hasn’t had many boyfriends nor has she had many dates thanks to her inability to see how fucking hot she is. She alos has a hard time believing that guys want a chick who is willing to do guy shit with them. Do not ask me how many potentials I have run off. I will not answer that question without a lawyer present.

“Speaking of, I got the job as Events Coordinator.”

“Congrats, Maximus!”

“Thanks.” Her simple shrug is followed by her rolling on her side to face me. “I have to keep up with the Ring Side Girl stuff for a few more fights though. Until we find a new one. I have complete creative control, plus I get to work with the new tech guy Frank hired on all the social media site decisions.”

The idea of seeing Maxx in skin tight outfits prancing around in front of me slowly causes my cock to grow. I roll over on my side to face her.

Maybe he’ll take the hint that he is not welcomed to the party. Doubt it. As far as he knows, he’s always welcomed to the party.

“You’re gonna be great at this, you know? This is what you’ve always wanted.”

“Well not
exactly
what I always wanted, but it is definitely a start. And the money,” she lets out a whistle. “More than I’ve ever made before.”

“Any idea what you want the next theme to be? Please not another color based one.”

“Nah. I’m thinking Rumble in the Jungle.”

“Chicks in skin tight leopard print shit?” I stroke my chin. “I can enjoy it.”

Me Tarzan. You Jane baby.

She slugs me in the shoulder and I pretend to wince in pain. “You can enjoy anything.”

“Just about. What can I say I’m easy.”

She hums and bites her bottom lip.

She always does that when there’s something she wants to say but is holding back. I know better than to push her to talk. We don’t do that to each other. We talk when we’re ready. End of the story.

“Can I ask you something Logan?”

“Anything. Except if Liz’s tits are real. You’re a chick. You should already know the answer.”

That’s not a myth right? Girl’s really can always tell when another chick’s tits are fake, right?

Her cringe makes me chuckle. Side stepping my comment, she props her face up on her hand. “You can’t fight forever Logan, so what are you gonna do when it’s over? What are you gonna do with your future?”

My face shifts unhappy with the topic. “Come on Maximus. You know for guys like me there is no future. There’s only now. This moment. That’s it.”

Her brown eyes begin searching my blues.

She wants a better answer. She wants me to tell her something like she reads in her bullshit girly romance novels. That when it’s all over, I’ll give it all up for her. That we’ll run away into the sunset or something. But that’s not gonna fucking happen. I’m not that guy.

And ladies could you please, for the sake of men everywhere, realize what you read is fiction for a reason. Guys who spout off romantic bullshit lines like that aren’t doing it for women, they do it for other men. Proven fact. Ask Luke.

“People change.”

“I don’t.”

“But if you do—”

“I won’t.”

Frustrated, she rolls her eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh. “Goddamn it Logan. Fucking humor me.” The word fucking coming out of her mouth causes my cock to try to rise again.

Great. Just what this conversation needed. A third opinion.

“If you couldn’t fight another day and you had to pick something to do with your life, what would it be?”

My head flops back onto her pillow as I scratch the stubble on my face.

I don’t allow myself to daydream. Aside from the fact that it is a complete waste of time that accomplishes absolutely nothing, I hardly think I’m going to make it to the next fight, so why would I think that I could make it to the next year, fuck, let alone the next several?

“I don’t know. I guess I would wanna open up some kinda kid’s gym thing. You know, where kids could go after school to workout, learn to box or do other sports or something. Give them somewhere to runaway to. You know, like we never had.”

I learned to fight between getting wailed on when the old man was done using mom as a punching bag and by guys who either wanted back the money I’d hustled or guys who wanted to get even for their girlfriend’s inability to stay faithful. That started before I met Maxx, and it only ended when she encouraged me to step into a ring rather than into a prison cell. Yeah…You’re right. I owe Maxx my life.

Maxx’s face hovers over mine as her soft mocha finger strokes the side of it, barely grazing the scar that’s hidden right under my jaw bone line.

My old man got me with a beer bottle that night. She cleaned it up and bandaged it before playing an all nighter of video games that ended with the two of us crashed on a pallet on the floor, head to head.

I woke up before she did that morning. Was prepared to kiss her and everything. But I stopped. You wanna know why? Because my life is fucked up enough without ruining hers. Haven’t you gotten that yet? Keep up.

I wet my lips as I watch her finger trail itself in small circles around my chin. A small shiver comes across my body.

God, I know this feeling all too well. It’s the one that threatens the very existence of what we’ve become. It’s the one that longs for a lifestyle that’s just out of my fucking reach. The one that if I let myself feel it, I’d lose Maxx forever.

With a hard swallow, I raise my eyebrows as she slightly parts her lips taking in a long breath. “What?”

“I’m thinking…”

My heart rate speeds up for some unknown reason.

I know she’s not gonna tell me I can have her for just a moment. Fuck me for hoping right?

“Yeah?”

“That…you should probably order the pizza now.” She lets out a giggle as she grabs my chin and shakes it back and forth playfully.

Shaking my head I pull her onto my lap so she is straddling me. Playfully we start to fight and roll around in her bed, laughter leaking out of her and into me, filling up the holes inside me that no other can ever fill.

Chapter 6

Maxx

Staring over Tony’s shoulder, I admire his handiwork. He is a computer genius if I have ever met one. Between the social media promotions and the website overhauls, he’s taken TKO to an entirely new level.

And as far as eye candy goes, he’s up there in that department too. What? I’m allowed to look!

Slightly slender with dark brown hair, his light blue eyes are an amazing contrast. While his skin is pale, his features are dark reminding me of every smart, witty British guy ever.

Or maybe that’s because I was up watching the BBC version of Sherlock again last night while making some last minute changes. Hey, it’s popular!

“Satisfied?” the word sizzles off his tongue and suddenly I wish I were underneath him, legs spread open, his hands gripping my hips, out of breath from moaning, as he asked the question.

It can’t possibly be healthy to be this horny.

Folding my arms across my chest I take a step back in the tiny side office so that I am leaning against the counter that holds my laptop. “Absolutely.” He grins crooked and my face flushes. “Which is good because I need to get home for dinner.”

“Big plans?”

“Not exactly. I’ve just missed dinner with my best friends every night for the last couple of weeks,” I remind him.

When I took this job as Frank’s Event Coordinator I knew I was going to throw myself into my work because it’s what I love to do. Because I want to make an impression like no other. But most importantly, I want him to need me so that I get to keep this job. So far, so amazing, but my first planned Fight Night is tomorrow, and I have been so picky down to the last detail I’ve barely slept. Thankfully, I’ve got a good system and other ideas for upcoming fights after tomorrow so maybe they won’t be as much work. Can’t complain about spending this much time with Tony though. He’s quirky and sweet and I’m fairly certain he’s actually into me.

At least I think he is. It’s been so long since someone has hit on me there’s a chance I’m slightly delusional. Please tell me if I’m imagining it.

“You have dinner with your best friends every night?”

“Not every night, no. And we’re roommates too.”

“Oh.” He nods slowly. “That makes more sense. You and Erin are roommates?”

“And Logan and Luke.”

“The fighter and the guy who handles his on-site injuries?”

“Right.”

Tony’s eyebrows raise and there’s a flicker in his eyes. “Lucky men.”

“Luke is Erin’s brother and gay.”

“And Logan?”

Is a walking no, no, no…God I just sounded like I was parenting a toddler didn’t I?

His name alone causes me to shift my weight. “He’s just a friend.”

“Just a friend huh? So he wouldn’t put his fist in my face for asking you to come have a drink with me later tonight?”

Taken off guard, I fiddle with the sleeve of my light blue book nerd t-shirt. “Are you asking me out?”

Without hesitation he leans back in his black computer chair. “I am.” Before I even have the chance to respond he continues. “Look, my brother is coming into town with his fiancée and he invited me out to join him and some of their friends. For lack of a better phrasing, they suck.” I giggle. “They’re boring. Stuffy. And I would love to have someone I can actually have a conversation with.”

Ah. So there it is. It’s not a date. It’s about needing someone to lean on. Isn’t that always the case with me? Always the buddy never the booty. I can’t believe I just said that.

“Not my ideal first date, but I promise I’ll make it up to you on the second.”

Wait. Now I’m confused again. 

Tony’s eyes are pasted on me as much as the smirk on his face is.

Holy crap! He really wants to go out with me! This isn’t just some fill in favor. He’s…actually into me. Oh no. I’m gonna screw this up. I can recall the number of dates I’ve had in the past few years on one hand. I’m more than aware of how sad that is, thank you.

“So, what do you say?”

For a moment, Logan’s face pops in my head. His solid jaw, perfect cut, the prized male glory that should on the pages of model agencies everywhere.

He’s really never going to see me as more than the best friend is he? It’s been years, and I’m still coming in second to sluts in mini skirts. Barbies with fake boobs. Bimbos with no brains. He’s drawn the line in the sand and while I have spent years hoping he’ll revoke it, it’s clear he won’t. And for the first time, I’m alright with it. For the first time, someone is actually coming after me and I won’t have to play the runner up best friend. It would be stupid not to say yes huh?

“I’d love too.”