Blindness (16 page)

I rub my hand on my cheek, almost as if she
slapped me with her question. I nod
yes
before I speak,
giving myself time to form a response, not that it helps.

“Yes, we’ve been dating a little more than a
year,” I say, chewing on my tongue and forcing myself to stop.

She meets my eyes and squints a little. She
pushes her lips together to form a tight line and then nods.
“Right. Well, I’m glad you made friends with Cody. He’s a good
guy,” she says, letting the last words linger slowly on her lips,
to make sure I understand. And I do—probably more than I let on, or
admit.

“Yes. He is,” I say, looking at him as he
walks ahead of me now, his arm slung over his friend while he talks
in his ear, telling him some dirty joke, or talking about the short
skirt in front of them, I’m sure.

Jessie keeps her eyes on me, but she lets up
her grilling for the time being. “Hey, douchebags. How about you
spend some time with your dates?” she says, kicking at the back of
Gabe’s shoes just enough to make him trip.

He turns around in seconds and scoops her up,
racing with her to the line at the barn and swinging her around to
make her dizzy. Her giggle fills the air—it’s such a foreign sound,
her happiness. The way she laughs, so freely and honestly. Nothing
rehearsed—just genuine life happening, in the moment.

I turn to Cody, and he smiles with tight
lips, and holds his arm out once again, his hands stuffed in his
pockets. I can tell he’s a little cold. “Hey, do you need this?” I
ask, starting to pull my arms from the sleeves of his jacket. Cody
stops me instantly and just pats my hand as he pushes it against
his bicep and pulls me in close.

“I’m fine. I got that for you,” he says,
looking down at me with a wanting expression. I look away quickly,
knowing if I don’t, I’ll be lost.

The closer we get to the door, the more
nervous I am. I can hear people screaming, and the strobe lights
are giving me short glimpses of fake blood and gory faces inside,
making my legs want to run. My heart is pounding, and for once,
it’s not because Cody’s next to me. No, this is actual fear.

It’s our turn next, and Gabe and Jessie run
in through the dark hall, screaming with laughter. I squeeze onto
Cody’s arm tightly and reach up with my other hand to blot away the
tear that’s forming in my eye. I’m pretty sure I’m terrified. I’m
done trying to hide it—instincts have taken over, and when we push
through the first curtain and a zombie jumps out at me, I clutch
onto Cody’s chest with my nails digging in hard.

Jessie and Gabe are long gone, probably
joining in on the scaring fun, making others cry for help, no
doubt. I’m clinging to Cody like a frightened kitten, wishing I
could get closer to him and drown out the sounds. I feel his arm
shift, and I panic that he’s trying to push me from him. He
doesn’t; instead, he reaches around to the back of my head, pushing
my face into his chest, and pulling his jacket up to protect me and
hide my eyes.

I can feel his pace pick up, and I just let
him guide me the rest of the way through. He steps quickly to the
side, and I follow. I’m relieved when I hear a door squeak open and
once again recognize the softer sounds we were hearing outside.
Cody pulls me over to a bench and sits me down, then kneels in
front of me.

“Charlie, are you okay? God, I’m so sorry. I
didn’t know you’d get so scared,” he says, holding both of his
hands to my cheeks and tucking my hair behind my ears. I let go of
squeezing my eyes shut and open them to see Cody looking right back
at me. He isn’t laughing. He isn’t even smiling. He’s just focused
on me, and my fear—and making it better. I take a deep breath and
reach up to grab his hands.

“I’m okay. I’m okay,” I say, moving to stand.
He stands with me and puts his hand under my chin.

“Are you sure?” he’s so worried. And as much
as I
NEVER
want to set foot inside that barn again, I
wouldn’t trade the way Cody’s looking at me afterward for anything.
I just gulp and nod, unable to speak. He pulls me in for a hug and
holds my head to his chest for a full minute before he lets go, and
I’m pretty sure I could sleep standing up if it were in his
arms.

“We should find Gabe and Jessie,” he says,
sliding his hand down my arm and grabbing hold of my fingers. It’s
clear he isn’t letting go again.

We find Gabe and Jessie at a lemonade stand,
and it’s cute to watch them from a distance. They’re sharing a
drink, and even after knowing each other for so long, their love
seems so young and new.

“How long have they been dating?” I ask
Cody.

He smiles at first, then laughs softly to
himself. “Pretty much off and on since the sixth grade. She’s in
every school dance picture with Gabe, minus prom—she went to that
with me,” he says. I must not hide my jealous response well,
because he starts to laugh when he looks at me. “Not as my
girlfriend. They weren’t dating at the time, and my date had just
dumped me. She felt bad.”

“Oh,” I swallow hard, embarrassed that Cody
noticed my green streak. “That was nice of her, though…I can’t
really see you getting dumped. Are you sure it wasn’t the
other
way around?”

Cody’s face gets suddenly serious, and we
stop walking. “I’m sure. I was in the chair for six months after my
accident, and Kyla, my ex-girlfriend? She just wasn’t up for all
that.”

“Hey, man, that was awesome,” Cody leaves me
and starts talking to Gabe suddenly, clearly wanting to leave the
conversation we were having. I touched on something, and I can tell
it was uncomfortable for Cody, something he probably prefers to
keep buried, and I get that—probably more than most.

“You okay?” Jessie asks, sliding up next to
me, and offering me a drink of some frozen lemon thing.

“Oh, thanks. I’m good. Yeah, that was a
little intense,” I gesture to the barn. “I’m sort of a wimp.”

She laughs, and then throws an arm over my
shoulder, dragging me to a section filled with rides and carnival
games. “Girl, that shit’s scary as hell. I laugh the entire time so
I don’t pee myself. You’re not a wimp. You made it through,” she
says, slapping down a dollar for a set of three balls. She throws
them at a stack of jars and knocks down every single one. The guy
hands her a giant stuffed monkey, and she pushes it back at him,
scrunching her face. “Just give me the little one. I don’t have
room for that thing.”

Jessie tosses the tiny monkey holding a heart
to Gabe and blows a kiss in the air. He hugs it like a little boy
and rolls his eyes at her, laughing. “I’m gonna marry him someday,
you know,” she says, chewing on a stick of gum, and holding out her
hand with the pack for me. I take one, hoping it will calm my
nerves.

“Yeah? You two are pretty great together,” I
say. She looks right at me then, and nods.

“We are. It took awhile, growing up. But we
were always great,” she says, turning back to watch her man throw
darts—and miss everything, not just the balloons. I feel her arm
slip through mine and squeeze, and I can tell I just won a level of
approval—and maybe a new friend.

We spend an hour walking the game aisles, and
Jessie’s the only winner. She wins a stuffed monkey for each of us,
and it becomes our inside joke for the rest of the night—naming the
monkeys, stealing them and hiding them, then begging to give them
back.

We decide to try our hand at the corn maze
before we go home. The woman at the entrance gives us each a map
and a puzzle piece. If you find the other five pieces hidden in the
maze, you win a pie, an entire homemade apple pie. I look at Cody
with puppy dog eyes when I find this out.

“Will you win me and the monkey a pie? We
want pie, pweeeeese?” I say, holding the small stuffed monkey’s
hand and stroking Cody’s chest with it. He busts out laughing and
throws his arm around me.

“Sure, come on, Charlie—let’s go win you a
pie,” he says, waving the map over his head and pointing in the air
like he’s signaling to
Charge
!

Cody pulls me through the entry to the maze
at a quick pace, and he’s jogging at first, passing up a group of
junior high girls who giggle when he says, “Excuse me.”

I watch them huddle together and cover their
faces while they check Cody out, and I laugh at their exchange—both
because it’s adorable to see, and because I could easily join them
like we were at some slumber party, making goo-goo eyes at the cute
older boy next door.

“They are sooooooo crushing on you,” I joke,
elbowing him in the side. He pounds his fists on his chest at my
joke, like Tarzan, which only makes me laugh harder.

“I’m all man, of course they’re crushing on
me,” he says, almost on the verge of howling.

“Oh my god, you realize you’re bragging about
being the pin-up dream for 12-year-olds, don’t you? Don’t get all
carried away,” I say, trying to hold in the rest of my laugh.

Cody’s eyebrows lower as he turns his head to
look at me and slows our walking down. He’s twisting his lips
together, thinking, and then finally settles into a wide smile.

“Uh huh,” he says, and leaves it at that. He
walks ahead of me a little, his posture perfect, and his hands
dangling from his thumbs looped in his pockets.

“What does that mean?” I ask, brushing into
his arm and catching up to his pace.

“Ohhhhh, nothing,” he says, clearly tempting
me now. And of course, I set the trap.

“No, really…what does
that
mean,” I’m
actually a little irritated now at his smugness, even though I know
he’s only being playful. Cody takes a sharp turn while he’s looking
at the map, and I follow him. There’s a table at the end of the
passage, and we both look at each other.

“We found one!” we shout, running in the
direction of the table with the black cauldron on top. Once we get
there, Cody reaches in and pulls out a puzzle piece. I snap it in
place with the first one we were given, and I can already tell the
puzzle is going to be a pumpkin pie.

Cody holds up his hand to high-five me, but I
just look at it and scowl as I walk by. I’m getting my edge back, I
can tell, because Cody’s the one catching up with me now.

“Hey, don’t be mad. I was just teasing you,”
he says, reaching for my arm to turn me around. I’m not really
angry, and I want him to know—I don’t want him thinking I’m a drama
queen. I smile when I face him, and I can tell he’s relieved.

“I know, I just hate teasing like that—makes
me feel like you’re making fun of me,” I admit.

Cody’s smile falls a little at my words, and
he reaches around my body to pull me in for a side hug while we’re
walking. “I’m not teasing to be mean. I promise,” he says. “I was
just going to say that those girls aren’t the only ones crushing on
me…that’s all.”

He can’t look at me while he’s talking, and
I’m so glad, because my eyes are wide with guilt, and my breath has
stopped. It’s the most blatant admission he’s made about our
flirting, and I’m not going to deny it, because yes—I’m crushing on
Cody Carmichael. Hell, I’m doing more than that—
I’m freaking
falling for him!

I notice his smirk, and it matches my own. I
hear him almost start to speak more than once, and each time, my
heart thumps in anticipation.

“I have an idea—it’s a game we can play, you
know, while we trek through the rest of this farmland and spend an
hour looking for four puzzle pieces so you can get a pie,” he says,
taunting me.

“Hey, that’s
homemade
pie, thank you
very much!” I defend.

“Right, totally worth it then,” he says, a
sassy snarkiness to his tone. I roll my eyes in response.

“Okay, what’s this game you propose?” I say,
sighing a little for emphasis even though I can’t wait to hear the
rules.

“Okay, well, it’s called
tit for tat
,”
he says, and I laugh as soon as the words leave his mouth,
resulting in a disapproving glare.

“Sorry,” I say, slapping my hand over my
mouth to keep my reaction in check.

“Don’t make fun of the name. It’s just what
we’ve called it for years—no judging,” he says and I nod, crossing
my heart while I do. “Me and Gabe used to play with Jessie and a
few of our other friends in junior high and high school. It’s sort
of like
truth or dare
—with a twist.”

I’m intrigued. I’m not sure how much I’m
willing to share, but the desire of learning some of Cody’s secrets
has an undeniable pull on my heart. Cody continues to explain.

“I’ll start. Here’s how it works, I share
something with you, and you have to share something equal back with
me. It’s fair, because the person asking has to answer their own
question first, make sense?” he asks, biting at the inside of his
cheek, almost worried that I’ll pass on his idea.

I think about it, and decide there isn’t much
I have left to hide from Cody, and even those sheltered parts of me
are ones I’m more willing to share with him than others. My only
concern is the dare part of the game, but I feel pretty confident
that Cody won’t lead me into anything dangerous or humiliating, so
I go for it.

“I’m in,” I say, holding his stare, not
wanting him to see the mess of nerves I am underneath it all.

We’re barely walking, and Cody lowers his
brow before he speaks again. “I was 16 the first time I had sex,”
he says, and
whoooooooosh,
all color is gone from my face.
Holy hell!
I didn’t think he would hit so far below the belt
this early in the game. I’m not sure I want Cody to know
this
part, but I’m not chickening out this early. I turn
away from him before I answer.

“I was 20,” I swallow, knowing he knows what
this means, and who it was with. I clench my teeth while I think of
my next move; I wasn’t expecting this to stress me out so much.
There are so many things I want to know, so I decide to take a
small risk since he asked such a personal question to start.