Blindness (21 page)

“I’m so sorry. Please, you have to forgive
me. Charlotte, I was so wrong,” Trevor says. I know I should be
completely invested in his words, but I’m only half here. The rest
of me is trying to send my thoughts to Cody—tell him that I’m the
one that’s sorry. Sorry I shared part of his story with Trevor,
sorry I told
his
secrets.

“I forgive you,” I say, forcing my eyes to
look at Trevor when I speak, ignoring the sour feeling in the pit
of my stomach. My eyes are stinging with the want to cry, but I
fight it off. “I forgive you,” I say again, reaching back to him to
hug him and bury my face in his sweater.

Trevor holds me for minutes, until the music
in the garage is drowned out by my inner thoughts and turmoil. I’m
looking at Cody’s legs, and I know he’s just lying under the car,
not doing anything. He’s hiding. Just like I am.

“I followed him once,” Trevor says. I pull
back and lower my brow. “My dad? I followed him once—to Chicago. I
saw him. He has an entire family, Charlotte. Like, a wife and two
little kids. They must be two or three.”

What the hell
! I know Cody is
surprised by this, too, because he slowly wheels his way out from
under the car and sits up, rubbing his head and leaning forward to
put his elbows on his knees. I don’t know what to say, so I just
look at Trevor and shake my head in understanding. He’s looking at
the floor, his eyes a little red.

“It was last year. I had a feeling…I mean, I
kinda knew for a while. But I just wanted to make sure. So when he
left for a trip, I booked a flight right after him. I waited
outside his office all day, then I followed him home. I kept
wishing—
wishing like hell
—that he’d turn into an apartment
in the city, call out for some take out, and go home alone. But he
kept driving—
wayyyyy out to the suburbs.
It’s such a typical
goddamned house, too—white picket fence and all that shit. I parked
down the street, but I could see
everything
.”

Trevor’s trembling a little, and I reach for
his hand, but he backs up even more. He’s almost in a trance with
his memory. “I just sat there, Charlotte,” Trevor says, his head
hanging low, and his posture slumped and beaten. “I sat there, like
a fool, and watched them all sit down for dinner.”

He turns to Cody, and for the first time
since I’ve known about the two of them and their relationship, he’s
looking at him like a brother, like they have a common thread—and
they do. “He looked…happy. That bastard looked fucking happier than
he ever does when he’s here,” Trevor says, shaking his head. Cody
just grimaces in return and nods in understanding, dropping his
gaze down to the floor and folding up his legs.

“Trevor, oh my god. I’m so sorry,” I say,
reaching for his hand and squeezing it. I turn to Cody, and he’s
looking at our touch, his eyes pained. I want to desperately reach
out to him as well, but I can’t. “Cody, I’m so sorry,” I say, my
words full of double meaning.

Cody stands up and shrugs, tossing the wrench
he was holding in a toolbox and walking to the back of the garage
to the sink. I look back at Trevor, and he pulls my hand up to his
mouth to kiss it, squeezing it tightly. I think about it only a
millisecond before he speaks—
my ring is still in my
pocket
.

“You’re not wearing your ring? Are you…did
you…?” Trevor asks, his face suddenly flush. He can’t seem to find
a way to finish his thought, and not wanting him to say any more
out loud, I reach into my pocket quickly and slide it on my finger.
His smile shows his instant relief, and he reaches for both sides
of my face to pull me in for a kiss. I close my eyes, wishing time
would freeze to give me a moment to think—or escape. But the world
keeps moving, and then he says it.

“I thought I lost you, that you weren’t going
to marry me because of what I did, and what I said. Charlotte, I
can’t lose you,” Trevor says, and my stomach sinks. I hear clanking
in the back of the garage, tools slamming, and I see Cody’s back as
he’s walking away, heading for the back door for his escape. I
wasn’t ready for him to hear about our engagement yet—I wanted to
be the one to tell him. I’m terrified he’s leaving, but I’m also
grateful for a little time to think.

“Cody, wait up, man. You and I—we need to
talk,” Trevor says, his voice stern, that professional tone he gets
when he’s in a meeting. Just when I think I can’t feel worse, more
anxious, I do. Cody freezes at the door and turns around to face
him, his eyes not looking him straight on. It’s the same distance
he uses when he steps foot in the Appleton house—like he doesn’t
let himself truly
be there
. He takes a deep breath, and then
lets it out slowly.

“What
man
?” Cody says, clearly mocking
Trevor’s words. “What could
we
possibly have to talk
about?”

Trevor keeps walking up to him, undeterred.
That’s the thing about Trevor—he’s fearless in the face of
conflict. I don’t know how much about him Cody knows, but I feel
sorry for him if he thinks he’s going to be able to slide out of
here without having the exact conversation Trevor wants to have.
Trevor doesn’t lose.

As Trevor gets closer, he reaches his hand
out to Cody for a shake. Cody steps back at first, his brow
pinching together, completely unable to mask his surprise and
distrust. If this were a game of poker, Trevor would mop the floor
with him. Cody slides his gaze to me for a moment, and I nod to
reassure him. Trevor’s also not one to trick. This is genuine, and
if anything comes out of today, I hope it’s a real moment between
the two of them.

Cody chuckles a little to himself and finally
reaches forward to grasp Trevor’s hand. He gives it a short shake,
and Trevor reaches around to hold their clasped hands together. I
know what he’s doing—he’s forcing Cody to stop and listen by taking
control. He’s a master, but I just hope he doesn’t fan Cody’s
flames, because I get the feeling Cody’s not opposed to resorting
to throwing a punch or two if he starts to feel a power shift.

“Cody, I’m sorry. I have been nothing but a
dick to you. I blamed you—you and your mom. My dad went to Chicago
a lot, and I told myself it was because he was trying to get away
from
you
. I convinced myself it started when he married
Shelly—when he had to deal with you. I blamed your business, bought
into his lines about what a
fuck up
you were, and kept him
on that stupid pedestal,” Trevor says, his voice growing quieter
the more he confesses.

“I never let myself
really
think about
it. And I probably never would have if Charlotte hadn’t forced me
to. But I’m pretty sure he’s had that second life for a
while—probably before he married your mom. I wasn’t fair to you,
Cody, and I’m truly sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” Trevor says,
my heart almost warming at his reaching out despite this twisted
situation it seems to be caught in.

I study Cody, and his eyes actually flinch as
Trevor speaks. He’s chewing the inside of his cheek, and I can tell
he’s considering everything he’s just heard. Trevor waits him out,
as I knew he would, and finally Cody nods once. “Okay,” he says,
and he slides around Trevor, back to the car he was working on,
kneeling down in front of the hood, probably to meet Gabe’s eyes
and look for help from who he feels is his only friend.

Trevor comes back to stand by me, and he
leans into me softly with a kiss on the cheek. I think he was
probably hoping for a bigger reaction from Cody, but I also know
he’s not going to get one, and that he’s probably lucky he got what
he did.

“Hey, you do those?” Trevor says, leaning
over me now and reaching for my sketchbook. My heart speeds up,
like I was caught somehow, and through my drawings, Trevor knows
about everything that’s happened between Cody and me. I blink my
crazy thoughts away and turn to him and smile.

“Yeah, I was just waiting while Cody was
working and thought I’d mess around with the building. It looks
pretty cool like this, no?” I say, flipping through the book for
him now, showing off the detail drawings I did.

“It looks amazing,” Trevor says, honestly
looking at them and thinking hard. “Hey…Cody. Did you see these?”
Trevor says, startling Cody, who was still buried under the hood of
the car, hiding.

Cody gives in and walks over, grabbing the
rag at the end of the table to wipe the oil from his hands. He
smiles faintly as he gets closer and leans in from the other side
of the table. “Yeah, I told her they were good. That’s what my
dad’s shop used to look like, you know?” Cody says, and you can see
the pride in his eyes when he says it, the love he has for his
father’s shop and his memories.

“You know…this gives me an idea,” Trevor
says, laying the book down in the center of the table and pressing
his palms on either side. He flicks his gaze up to Cody in a
second, and Trevor has a big smile on his face—which must give Cody
the same worried feeling it does me, as we both turn sideways to
look at him, sucking in our lips.

“Geeze, relax you two,” Trevor chuckles, and
we both exhale, though I can tell Cody still has a guard up—an
enormous one. “How close are you to paying off the loan?”

Cody’s eyes shoot wide, and I look down to
avoid him. I don’t want him to know how much I shared with Trevor,
and I’m not sure where Trevor’s going with his questions.

“Come on, just tell me. I can dig through my
dad’s files and find out on my own, but I have an idea that could
help you, so how about you just tell me now?” Trevor says, a little
bit of his old attitude toward Cody slipping out.

Cody seems to brush it off, though, as he
pushes his lips tight in thought. “Sixty grand,” Cody says, and I
choke a little at the amount. I knew it had to be high, otherwise
Cody would be able to pull together enough cash to pay it off, but
I didn’t think it would be
that
impossible.

“Okay, okay,” Trevor says, tapping his finger
to his lip, thinking. “What’s your drop-dead date?”

Cody shoots his gaze to me, and I just shrug
and mouth “Sorry,” admitting my part in Trevor’s insight to his
personal finances.

“I’ve got this month, maybe a little more,”
Cody says, his voice sounding defeated.

“Perfect,” Trevor says, and both Cody and I
stare at him, not understanding. “Man, you two are so negative!”
Trevor laughs. He flips open to a blank page on my book and starts
to list out some bullet points. When he’s finally done, he tears
out the page and folds it in half, putting it in his pocket.

“Okay, here’s the deal. I need to get my eyes
on that contract, but I’m pretty sure we can fix this thing. We’ll
need Charlotte’s drafts, maybe a few more, and a business plan that
will show Jim how much more money he stands to gain by partnering
with your assets rather than buying you out completely. We’ll show
him a planned re-opening, market studies—which I can help with—and
renovation plans,” Trevor says, his words coming out so fast it’s
taking Cody and me both several seconds to catch up. I see the
reluctance in Cody’s eyes the moment I come to the same
conclusion.

“But…I don’t want to be Jim’s partner. No
offense, Trevor, but I don’t want
anything
to do with your
dad,” Cody says as he folds his arms in front of him, bracing
himself for Trevor’s disappointment. But it doesn’t come.

“Absolutely. That’s the catch; my dad always
puts a drop-dead date in his contracts. But if we can get him to
change that—either buy you more time, or void it completely—before
you sign the new agreement, then you can walk away and only have to
deal with the debt—no deadline,” Trevor says, waiting for us to
understand.

“But I’ll still owe him?” Cody asks, shaking
his head.

“Right, you will,” Trevor says. Both Cody and
I are waiting for him to continue, unsure of what the growing smile
on Trevor’s face means. “It’s brilliant, really, and I think it’s
going to work. He’ll have to submit a
new
timeline for your
payments as part of the investment, and, as long as we make the
payout more appealing our way, it will be a no-brainer for him to
sign.”

The garage is completely silent while we all
just look at Trevor. I’m nervously picking at the corners of my
fingernails, and Cody is rubbing the back of his neck trying to
work through the math in his head and make it match up with
Trevor’s legal loopholes. Our silence is stunted by the jarring
sound of a heavy hood thumping to a close, and we all turn to see
Gabe standing in front of us, engine oil smudging his hands and
face.

“Well, asshat, what are you waiting for?
Makes perfect sense to me,” he says to Cody, who just throws a
towel at him in response.

“Asshat?” Trevor asks, looking at me.

“Yeah, apparently, it’s a hat you wear on
your ass, and it’s what you call someone when they haven’t earned
full asshole yet,” I say, and the garage erupts in laughter as soon
as I’m done. My cheeks are red, and I’m trying to retrace my words,
when finally Gabe lets me off the hook.

“She’s right. That’s what it is—but goddamn
is it funnier when she says it!” Gabe says.

The laughing round continues for another
minute, then Trevor looks at Cody. “Well,
asshat?
” he asks,
and I hear Gabe’s stifled laugh behind him. Cody looks at me for
confirmation, and I smile. This is what Trevor does, and there
isn’t anyone better—even his own father. And it might just be
Cody’s only shot. Cody seems to understand the look in my eyes, and
he reaches for Trevor’s hand again, giving it a firm shake this
time.

“Okay. What the hell do I have to lose? I’m
in,” he says.

I wait for the awkward to settle in next, but
it never does. Trevor pulls up a chair and starts asking Cody a
million questions about his shop and the business, ripping more
pages from my book to make notes. Cody goes back to work, talking
to him like it’s normal—like things between them have always been
this easy. I catch Gabe’s gaze once or twice and try to gesture to
him, but he just shrugs me off. Finally, when Trevor and Cody are
deep in a conversation, Gabe comes over to stand by me and look
through one of the boxes.