Read Blitzed by the Brit: A Secret Baby Sports Romance Online
Authors: Jessica Ashe
T
his might not have been
a good idea.
I wanted to introduce my new fiancée to the country as quickly as possible. It was a nice day, so Sophia suggested we go to York Castle and look around because “we don’t have all that many castles in America.”
It somehow never occurred to me that walking around a castle when you’ve just been announced as heir to the throne might not be the best idea. I looked like I was getting ready to rule the country, when all I wanted to do was claim my inheritance and run. This was the sort of thing I should have run by Harry first.
“Can I touch it?” Sophia asked.
“We should probably wait until we have some privacy, but sure, you can cop a feel if you like.”
Sophia pursed her lips in a way that made me desperate to lean over and kiss her. I’d only kissed her on the cheek so far today, and it was driving me crazy.
“I meant the rocks,” she replied. “Are we allowed to touch them?”
“Oh, yeah sure. It’s not a museum.”
We had to keep our conversations to a whisper to avoid being overheard. English Heritage had agreed to grant us a private visit, but there was always a member of staff in earshot.
“It just feels weird to touch something so old.” She reached out and placed her hand against what was left of the castle wall. According to the sign we were standing in what would have been a kitchen.
“I guess we take it for granted,” I replied. “I forget you guys don’t have any history.”
“We have plenty of history thank you very much.”
“Like what?”
“Well, there’s the small matter of that little war where we kicked your asses out of the country two hundred and fifty years ago.”
“Two hundred and fifty years? Please, that’s not history. In England, we refer to that as ‘current events.’ History is the dark ages, the crusades, the reformation, kings and… other stuff.”
“You’re going to be in the—”
“Don’t say it,” I interrupted. “I’m not going to be in history books, and I’m not going to be taught in schools. This will all be over in six months, and then everyone will go back to normal.”
“I still don’t understand why you don’t want to be a prince,” Sophia said. “You’d get to wear a crown one day. You’d look good in a crown; assuming you can find one to fit your head.”
“If you like me in a crown, I’ll wear one. But let’s keep the dress up to the bedroom.”
Sophia smiled, and looked away, pretending to read an information sign that I knew she’d already read. I’d spent last night on the sofa, and we were still tip-toeing around the whole ‘sex’ thing. That didn’t stop me getting a stonking great big erection when she came out to get a glass of water wearing only a pair of tight cotton shorts and a strappy top that had me struggling to look at anything other than her pert nipples.
“Do you not like the royal family?” Sophia asked. “They seem nice enough.”
“I don’t know them. Not yet. I’m sure they’re lovely people, but that doesn’t matter. I don’t want their lifestyle. I just want to get my money and run.”
Sophia struggled to control her hair, as a bitter wind blew through the open castle walls. What would it have been like living here hundreds of years ago? Even with fires blazing, it would have been difficult to keep warm during the winter when temperatures dipped below freezing. I suppose it helped when you had someone to snuggle up to.
I wrapped an arm around Sophia’s shoulder, brushed the hair out of her face, and kissed her gently on her cold forehead. She put both arms around me and hugged me tightly. I didn’t look behind me, but I knew some of the staff would be taking pictures of this moment. I didn’t care; it looked good for the cameras. The trustees would be completely convinced.
I know I am.
T
he manager
of the gift shop made a huge fuss over us the second we walked through the door. I hated it. If this was what being a prince was like, then I knew I was making the correct decision.
“If there is anything I can do for you both, anything at all, then just let me know,” the manager said before stepping to the back of the store to give us some semblance of privacy.
“He’s still watching us,” Sophia said. “Maybe he thinks we’re going to steal something.”
“You’re American. He’s probably worried this is the prelude to an invasion.”
“Or maybe he thinks you might want assistance, but you’ll never ask for it because the English are so afraid to speak up.”
“Or he’s waiting for you to start a loud conversation on your phone, or pull out a selfie stick.”
“Hey,” Sophia said loudly. “I do not own a selfie stick. Although they do look useful.”
“Somehow I don’t think we’ll ever need help getting our picture taken.”
“Oh my God,” Sophia exclaimed loudly. She couldn’t have sounded more American if she’d have put her hand on her chest and started singing the national anthem. “They have mugs.”
“Of course they have mugs. It’s a gift shop.”
“No, I mean they have mugs of you. Look.”
Now I just wanted to vomit. It wasn’t even a flattering picture. Weren’t there any photos of me were I wasn’t drunk or hungover? “How did they even get these mugs made so quickly?”
“They aren’t exactly the best quality. I suppose they’ll do some for the royal wedding as well.”
“That’s why we’re going to have a private wedding.”
Sophia put down the mug and grabbed some sweets. “Let’s get this fudge and then go sit outside again.”
“You looked cold,” I remarked, staring at her arms and chest. “Grab a jumper as well.” Probably shouldn’t have said that; why was I encouraging her to cover up?
We stood at the top of the castle with a view overlooking the town and shared the bag of fudge between us. We’d be in range of anyone with a half-decent zoom lens now, but the pictures couldn’t be any worse than the ones they already had of me. At least I wasn’t drunk.
Sophie slipped on the jumper and lifted up the hood to stop her hair blowing everywhere. Had a princess ever been photographed in a hoodie before? Maybe. Had a princess ever been photographed looking so beautiful? Definitely not.
I’d never been so captivated by a woman showing so little skin. All I could see was her hands and face. Both were red with the cold, and she continually had to sweep the hair from her eyes.
“Do you think we’ve accomplished our mission for the day?” Sophia asked.
“Yeah, I think so. Why? Do you want to go home?”
“No, let’s stay here for a bit. The view’s nice.”
“It certainly is,” I agreed.
Sophia rested her head on my shoulder, as she reached her hand into the bag for another piece of fudge. The ring sparkled from the rays of the setting sun. It suited her.
“What do you want to do tomorrow?” Sophia asked.
“We don’t have to spend every day together,” I replied. “Not if you don’t want to.”
“I’m not bored of you yet. We can hang out if you like.”
“I would like that. How about we stay in and watch The Tudors on Netflix? I want you to find out what happens when Queens step out of line.”
“Oh please. You forget there’s been a power shift since the sixteenth century dear.”
“Kings still rule over Queens.”
“Yes, but I’m American, remember? Try to behead me and we’ll kick your ass so hard you’ll be driving on the right hand side of the road, and singing the American national anthem before soccer games.”
“We’ll see about—” I paused as my phone vibrated in my pocket. We hadn’t had any signal in last few hours, so I’d been left alone, but I guess we’d found a few bars of reception. Lucky me.
“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Sophia asked.
“I suppose I need to start telling people to piss off at some point. I really should make that my answerphone message.”
I answered the call, but I did little more than say yes ‘four’ times and then hang up.
“Who was it?”
“Change of plans for tomorrow. You need to go shopping to buy a dress.”
“Oh. Well, if you insist. Where are we going?”
“To the registry office. The wedding’s been booked. We’re getting married.”
“
W
hat the hell
are those things on your face?” Dani asked.
“They’re sunglasses.”
“They’re a little… big,” Ellie added delicately.
“I need them to cover my face so that no one will recognize me,” I explained.
“Well it’s working,” Dani said. “I did not for one minute think you looked like a future princess.”
“Keep your voice down,” I pleaded. “This is an incognito shopping trip. I just need to buy a dress and then we can leave.”
“Sounds fun,” Ellie said dryly. Despite what George seemed to think, I hadn’t quite gotten the hang of English sarcasm yet, so I had no idea whether Ellie was excited or not.
“You can each get a dress too. George’s treat.”
“Oh, now it sounds fun,” Ellie exclaimed.
Okay, she was being sarcastic before then.
“Good. I don’t know where the best shops are, so I’ll need you ladies to lead the way. Got any places in mind?”
“How formal is the event?” Dani asked. “Next and Topshop do decent enough dresses that can pass as formal as well at a push.”
“It’s for a small gathering in town. You’re both invited.”
“And who will be at this small gathering?” Ellie asked.
“Just the three of us and George. And a minister.”
Ellie and Dani looked at each and then back at me. “You’re getting married?” Dani yelled.
“That’s generally what happens after an engagement.”
“Yes, but I didn’t know it would happen so soon.”
“What you’re saying,” Ellie broke in, “is that you need a dress for a wedding.”
“Yep.”
“Your own wedding?”
“Yep.”
“So you need a wedding dress,” Ellie concluded.
“I guess so,” I agreed. “But it doesn’t have to be anything too fancy. I’m not wearing white. I just want a normal dress.”
“I don’t think Topshop is going to cut it,” Dani said. “There’s a little boutique place in the mall that doesn’t have a price tag on anything. Let’s start there.”
I kept my “bitch glasses” on, as Dani called them, while we walked through the mall to a small store at the back which was mercifully quiet. They also sold wedding dresses, but there were no excited brides to be in here yet.
Except me.
The lady running the store measured me, and then went to a back room to bring out some styles for me to try. She didn’t comment on the glasses, but I decided to take them off. I probably looked like a woman who’d been beaten, and that was very much not the vibe I wanted to give off.
“We saw the pictures of you online,” Ellie said.
“Oh God, I haven’t even looked. What are they like?”
“Romantic,” Ellie replied. “There are some of you holding hands while walking around the ruins of a castle, and there’s a great one where he kisses you on the forehead.”
“Don’t forget the one of them snuggling up at the top of the castle and looking out at the view,” Dani added.
“Good,” I said. “We’re supposed to look convincing.”
“Oh you looked convincing all right,” Ellie said. “I know I’m convinced.”
“Me too.”
“Alright, ladies. What’s your point?”
“Our point is,” Dani said, in typically loud fashion, “you like him. And he likes you.”
“Obviously we like each other,” I said. “I wouldn’t do this with someone I hated.”
“You nearly slept together,” Ellie helpfully pointed out.
“
Nearly
being the operative word.”
“So you still haven’t bumped uglies?” Dani asked.
“No, and we’re not going to.”
The manager came back to save me from further grilling, and she hung up three dresses in a fitting room for me. All the dresses looked more expensive than my entire wardrobe put together. George was going to need that inheritance money to pay his credit card bill.
“Can you measure my friends too, please?” I said to the manager. “They are getting a dress each as well.”
“Of course, Ma’am.”
“I’d like one a little more revealing at the front,” Ellie said.
“And just make mine straight up slutty,” Dani said. “The sort of thing you wouldn’t let your daughter leave the house in. Oh, and make sure it’s a dark color. I have this unfortunate habit of getting grass stains on my dresses.”
“I’m sure I can come up with something,” the lady said, before disappearing again.
I ruled the first dress out before even trying it on. Red seemed too erotic for a wedding. The second dress fit perfectly, and was certainly modest enough for a low-key ceremony. It was also boring. I didn’t want to embarrass myself at the altar, but I also had a fiancé to keep interested.
The third dress was light green and trailed down below my knees, but with some ruched styling that revealed plenty of my right thigh. It was sexy; perhaps a little too sexy.
“Can you tie me up?” I yelled, as I stepped out of the fitting room in the third dress, holding the straps that needed to be tied around the back of my neck.
Ellie and Dani stared at me, but made no effort to help.
“What?” I looked down to make sure I didn’t have a nipple showing. “Can I get some help?”
Ellie shook her head and ran over to tie me up. “Sorry, honey. I just can’t believe how perfect you look.”
“If you dare say I look fit for a prince, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”
“She’s right,” Dani said. “You look stunning. George won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”
My heart skipped a beat, as I imagined George reaching behind my neck and undoing the strap, before watching my dress fall to the floor.
“I should try on some more,” I said quickly. “This might not be the right one.”
It might be
too
perfect.
“You’re buying that dress,” Ellie insisted. “And I very much suggest you buy some sexy undies to go with it, because you won’t be sleeping alone once George sees you in that.”
“Screw that, you should go commando,” Dani said. “You can’t beat that feeling.”
“I can’t get married without any panties on.”
George would love it though. He’d be drooling all day. Then the second we were alone, he’d have me up against the wall, devouring me with his lips like he had done a few nights ago. This time he wouldn’t stop at my nipples.
“I guess I could buy this one,” I said with feigned reluctance. “Now you two get your dresses sorted out.”
“Shall we go to Ann Summers after for some panties?” Ellie asked.
“No, I’m good.”
Perhaps I didn’t need underwear after all. I never did like a visible panty line.