Blizzard (The Brotherhood Journals #1) (23 page)

I stumbled off the porch, my foot catching on one of the stairs and resulting in me flying forward and landing on my hands and knees. I wanted to say it hurt like hell, but it didn’t. I didn’t even feel it. My body was numb.

A body pressed against my back and I shuddered as two arms wrapped themselves around my waist and began to pull me back. I tried to push away, but they squeezed me tighter, my fight completely worthless. Sobbing silently, every part of me screamed give up, the darkness fighting to take over again. It begged me to stop fighting and just close my eyes.

I was done.

Dinner wasn’t as awkward as I was expecting.

The malice I had toward my mother had morphed from a raging demon to angry puppy. It was still there, and there was still shit that we needed to discuss, but we’d come to a silent understanding. It wasn’t the most important thing in either of our lives right now.

She was worried about Lane, and I was freaking out about Rose’s safety.

Right now, we all needed to focus on what was in front of us, not what haunted us from behind.

“She seem okay when you left?” Skins asked from across the living room. He was sitting on the floor, leaning up against the wall.

I shuffled, the question making me feel slightly guilty. “Yeah, she was okay. Can’t say I exactly helped the situation, though.”

“What happened?” Mom asked as she walked in, wiping her hands on a dishcloth.

I tightened my grip on the beer in my hands. “Heard her talking on the phone with him. They sounded like old friends. You know? Laughing and shit.” I took a swig of the liquid which had now gone warm. “I brought up some shit I shouldn’t have, and she basically told me to pull my head out of my ass if I thought we were going to make things work.”

Judge chuckled but my mom frowned, her concern for Rose evident.

“We all say shit we don’t mean sometimes. The heat of the moment causes emotions to burn hotter. Don’t think anything of it.” Judges words did little to calm me. I knew I’d hurt her the moment the words had left my mouth, but I’d never been one to not speak my mind, no matter what the consequences.

“Rose is a delicate girl. She portrays a strong image when she needs to, but deep down she’s broken.” Mom leaned against the entranceway to the kitchen, a sad smile on her lips.

I leaned forward, bracing my arms on my knees. “That’s the thing, though. I want her to be her, I don’t want her to act tough or pretend she’s someone she’s not. That’s how we got into this shit in the first place.”

“There’s a difference between faking an image to hurt someone or cause harm, and doing it to empower or protect yourself.”

I nodded, Skins was right. We all at some time faked a laugh or a smile or pretended that we were stronger than we were, but it was never done to hurt others. It wasn’t all about lies and deceit. Sometimes it was about making ourselves believe that we were capable.

I needed to remember that Rose wasn’t out to hurt my family or me anymore. She was just trying to get by the best way she knew how, and sometimes that meant holding her head high when all she wanted to do was crumble to the floor.

“She needs someone strong at her side, so she doesn’t have to feel like she needs to do that. She needs someone willing to be strong for her.” Mom’s eyes met mine and I knew that she had absolute conviction behind her words.

My dad was an asshole. I knew it, she knew it, and every single person who came into contact with him knew it. But when they were together, he had the club at his back. They were his strength and he would always come first before an Old Lady.

Even then, though, I thought the club would have supported her and helped her out. But it was obvious now that they hadn’t done that. They’d supported my father in his choice to keep me from her, even when they saw what he was doing to me.

I would never let that kind of shit fly now, but that didn’t matter. It was done and the reminders were there for life. It was up to us whether we continued to let the wound be reopened or let them heal over and new skin begin to grow.

“Moving on,” Judge cut through my thoughts. “Now we have more information, we need to decide what to do to get our girl back.”

Light, who had spent dinner and our time together silent in the corner was now alert and sitting straight like a steel rod. His tell-tale flicking of the lighter filling the quiet room.

“We need to end this quickly,” I told them. “Rose seemed to think that Lane was okay, but she could tell that this shit was wearing on her. The stress and situation aren’t good for the baby either.”

There was a smash as a beer bottle hit the wooden floor and Light was suddenly on his feet, his eyes wide in shock and anger. “The what?” he yelled.

“Oh, Jesus!” I scrubbed my hand over my face. “Rose told me, I thought you guys knew?”

My mother sobbed loudly and Judge was instantly out of his seat, consoling her quietly.

Light pulled at his short hair, looking up at me and finding my eyes as if he needed to see into my soul to understand what I’d just said. “She’s fucking pregnant?”

“Look, man, she could have just said that. Maybe she thought they would go easy on her or something. All I know is Rose heard her say she was pregnant.” I knew it was quite possible that it couldn’t be true. People would say everything and anything when they were in a situation that could end up with them being hurt. It was a defense mechanism.

“Fuck this,” he growled. Stomping his heavy boots and heading for the front door. Skins was on his feet in a second, grabbing his friend by the shoulders and pulling him back.

Light fought against him. “Let me fucking go. That’s my woman and my fucking baby.”

Judge silenced everything with the loud boom of his voice, “Light, stop!”

Light stilled, but turned to his president, his face completely infuriated. Skins kept his arms around him—a smart decision. “How can you just stand there and act like you don’t care? She’s your family, too. And she’s out there with those assholes, alone and pregnant. We need to get her back
now!
”

“And we will. But the only thing you’re gonna do by storming in there is get yourself and possibly all of us killed,” Judge spoke quietly, but his voice was stern and solid. I admired his ability to keep his head straight. Knowing his daughter was carrying their grandbaby and there was nothing he could do for her right then and there, must have been ripping him up inside.

“Sit down and let’s see if we can figure this out… smartly.”

My mom walked over to Light and placed her hand on his cheek, tears streamed down her face but she held herself tall and confident. “We
will
get her back soon, Light. She’ll come home to us, and so will that little baby inside her.” She seemed so sure of her words, and I wanted to believe them. But the reality was different.

Eventually, Mom persuaded him to sit down, Skins following with a relieved sigh. Skins was tall, but he didn’t have the same kind of muscle that Light carried. I wasn’t sure any of us would have been able to stop him if he’d decided that enough was enough.

We talked about the situation and a possible game plan. But we wouldn’t know anything for sure until Rose came back later that night. Hopefully, with her increased insight we’d be able to know for sure how to approach it.

Eventually we all called it a night. Light already shared a room with Lane, and Skins took the spare bed, feeling like he needed to be close by for Light, given the new developments.

Sleep evaded me as I lay on Mom and Judge’s sofa. They'd offered me a bed but I'd declined.

I’d already given Kev a call, he was watching the house for the night, making sure Rose got back safely. He promised he would give me a call when she was headed home, and I would go around, get on my knees and apologize profusely for what I’d said. I had it all planned out in my head. But it all went out the window when Kev finally called.

My phone buzzed on the table and I jumped off the sofa and grabbed it, not wanting to wake the whole house. “Yo.”

“I’m coming to you, and I’m coming in hot. Is Skins there?” Kev’s voice sounded hurried and I could hear the car in the background accelerating hard.

“What’s going on?” I growled.

“I’ve got Rose. If Skins isn’t there, you need to get him there fast. I’m two minutes out.”

The line went dead.

I raced down the hall, slamming my fist on every door I passed. “Get up! Something’s wrong!” I yelled before running back down the hall and heading for the front door.

I tapped my foot impatiently, searching the dark streets with my eyes.

Footsteps pounded on the floor behind me, Judge, Skins, and Light all appearing looking disheveled and holding guns.

“What’s happening?” Judge asked urgently, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Kev called and said make sure Skins is here waiting because he’s bringing Rose here.” I scrubbed my face, my heart pounding erratically.

Skins ran back into the house and Light groaned, “She got hurt!”

My back straightened like a steel rod. “What?”

Light pulled on the shirt he had tucked into the side of his jeans, hooking his handgun in the waistband.

“Skins has a medical background,” Judge explained.

I wanted to vomit.

What the fuck had happened?

I heard the screech of car tires and headlights heading up the street at full speed. The car bounced as it pulled into the driveway and I ran toward it, leaping down the stairs.

Kev was out of the car, carrying a body in his arms before it had even pulled to a stop.

“What happened?” I roared as he hurried toward me.

“I’ll explain soon. I need to get her inside, Blizzard.” He pushed passed me, Rose hanging limply in his arms. I followed closely behind him as he rushed up into the house.

“Kitchen,” Judge ordered as we passed.

Skins already had a blanket draped over the small kitchen table and a medical kit to the side. Kev placed her down gently, and Skins immediately started checking her over, checking her pulse first. I stepped forward, reaching out to her but a hand gripped my shoulder, stopping me.

“You need to let him do his thing,” Judge said sternly. My first instinct was to tell him to get fucked, but as I looked at her, I knew it wasn’t good, and she needed all the help she could get. I would only get in the way.

“Rose, can you hear me?” Skins gripped her face in his hand, shaking her harshly with his other hand on her arm. When she didn’t respond, I started to panic. He ran his hands down her arms, cursing as he reached the inside of her elbow. “They shot her up with something.”

My blood boiled and fists clenched. “They fucking what?”

“Shit!” he yelled. Rose’s body started shaking. She was jolting and spasms wracked her body. I could only stand and watch as Skins rolled her onto her side and tried to stabilize her as her body bounced and shook. It only lasted less than a minute, but it felt like an eternity, watching her go through the trauma of her life.

“Get a bucket,” Skins ordered. Light instantly digging through the cupboard beneath the sink and pulling out a small bucket, holding it next to her head in case she was sick.

My legs gave way and I slid to the floor, clutching my hands together. She looked so sick, her face pale and her lips slightly tinted gray. She was so vulnerable, so tiny, and broken.

At that moment, I felt broken too.

Kev came to stand beside me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder as we watched Skins continue to check her over.

“Could be an overdose. She’s lucky she managed to make it out of that place before she did, though. She might not have made it through the night otherwise.” He braced his hands on the table and looked up at me. I could see the anger in his eyes, I could feel it filling the room.

This wasn’t just a rescue mission anymore.