Neither of them paid me any attention.
Then Lucas changed too, and the fighting grew more vicious. I heard yelps and teeth gnashing. I didn’t want to get too close, but I had to stop them somehow. Lucas was three hundred years stronger than Derek. If I let this go on, Lucas would kill him. But what could I do? I could try to hit them with the car, but that might seriously injure one or both of them. Or make them turn on me.
“Stop, damn it!” I yelled, actually stamping my foot in frustration.
Lucas got Derek’s throat in a choke hold. Blood gushed beneath his teeth. I gasped, screaming, “STOP!”
Lucas’s metallic eyes met mine, his jaws still clamped to Derek. But that was all I needed. I couldn’t let Lucas kill Derek. I forged the connection, summoning the electric power that hid somewhere in my chest.
Stop
, I spoke to Lucas.
Stop it now, before you kill him.
I felt his resistance. A resounding
no
filled my head, but I brushed it aside.
Yes, Lucas. Let him go.
Lucas’s jaw slackened, and Derek darted away.
Now change
, I spoke to Lucas.
This is too dangerous.
He obeyed, and I released the connection. Lucas crouched on the ground, panting. His eyes tore holes in my heart when he looked up at me. Total betrayal.
He opened his mouth to speak, when Derek came at him out of nowhere. His claws dug deep into Lucas’s smooth flesh and I heard him cry out. A sharp
crack
made my pulse sputter.
Lucas let loose a string of hot curses as he clutched his broken arm. He kicked Derek off of him and stood, grimacing.
But Derek wasn’t through. He charged Lucas again, his slim white body like a spirit in the darkness. I made contact with his eyes, trying to forge the connection, but there was nothing to latch onto. Derek’s mind had a wall built inside it, something I couldn’t cross.
“Stop!” I screamed as Derek tore into Lucas again. His pained cries rang in my ears, too horrible to accept. “
Please!
” I shouted. “Derek, don’t!”
Lucas changed again and fought back, rolling away from Derek’s jaws just in time to avoid a neck wound. Derek came to a stop in front of me, facing Lucas. His lips were churned into a snarl, his body coiled as if he was protecting me from ... what? Lucas?
The two animals stared each other down, hackles raised and vibes clashing. Then, with a low, furious snarl, Lucas turned and ran through the night, limping on his front leg.
I panted as I watched him go, falling to my knees in relief. Though I was upset that he’d left, it was for the best. His arm would heal quickly, and he needed time to calm down. This whole experimentation thing had pushed Lucas past his limits as far as Derek went. Deep down, I knew he hadn’t meant any of the jerky things he’d said to me and that he was just irritated at being beaten by a runt—even if that runt wasn’t the same species as him. He’d be back once he’d calmed down, and we would work everything out.
But Derek—what the hell was his problem?
I stood on shaky knees and rounded on him just in time to see him change back into a human. I averted my eyes from his nakedness and heard him go to the trunk of the car where we kept a duffel bag filled with spare clothes for moments like these. He pulled it open and began rifling around for something that fit him.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I said, watching him step into some jeans.
He cast an indifferent glance at me. “What are you talking about? That guy is a jerk. He needed to be taught a lesson.”
I scoffed loudly. “He’s over three hundred years old, Derek. He would have killed you.”
“Then how come I just kicked his ass?”
I stopped short, debating on whether or not to tell Derek what I had done—that I had, in effect, saved his life by using my power. But Lucas had been adamant that I not tell
anyone
about my power. I’d already gone against that and told Yvette. That was enough. So I said, “He knows how much you mean to me. He does have some self-control when it’s not the full moon.”
“Yeah, right,” he grumbled. “And that’s why he was treating you like shit? Because of all his wonderful self-control?”
“He was just angry because you’re faster than him. He’s not a good loser, I guess.”
Derek seemed to like that. A leer appeared on his face. “Nah, he’s a loser all right.”
“You’d better not do what you just did again, Derek. Next time he might not be so nice.” Or maybe I wouldn’t.
Derek looked skeptical as he began packing up the camera equipment. “Yeah, yeah . . . whatever. Can we just go now? I’m sick of this.”
I’d never seen Derek like this before. He’d been more than ready to start a fight with Lucas,
eager
for it, even. And when Lucas had stopped, he’d kept coming after him, intent on killing him, or so it had seemed. Derek wasn’t like that. Sure, he’d defend someone if it came down to it, but he never started fights if they could be avoided. The supernatural magic had changed him, after all. He now had the ruthlessness of a vampire packed in with the impulsiveness of a werewolf. Question was: Could he make the two sides work together, or would they tear him apart?
Derek hopped into the driver’s seat and beckoned me over. I obeyed on numb legs and went to the front seat. “Where to?” he asked, with a tentative smile.
But I was still mad at him and I turned away, jaw set.
Derek sighed. “Fine. I’m sorry, all right? But I don’t like to hear him treating you like that. You deserve better.”
I rounded on him. “Lucas and my relationship is none of your business, Derek. He treats me just fine.” Not totally true given tonight’s events, but that wasn’t the point. I’d deal with Lucas later.
“Whatever,” Derek said.
“And you need to apologize to Lucas, too. You practically tore his arm off.” I hoped he was okay.
Derek looked as if I’d just told him to lick the car tires.
“Derek,” I warned.
“Fine,” he grumbled. “Now will you get over this?”
I smiled victoriously. “Yes.”
“Excellent.” Derek started the car. “Beach?”
“Perfect.”
10
VIRAN
D
erek drove us to Del Mar beach and parked a little ways from the public parking lot. It was closed at this time of night, so we had to kind of sneak in and walk through the nettles and tall grass toward the ocean. Derek leaped down over the ledge overhanging the sand and held his arms out for me. I let him help me down, mostly because he wanted to. I could certainly get down by myself.
We kicked off our shoes and began shuffling through the grainy sand to the surf. The night was crisp and clear, no clouds to mar the perfection of the sky. It was almost chilly, but when you’re used to withstanding weather in the teens, fifties feels like a sauna. There was nobody around at this late hour, only us and the waves crashing around our ankles. I glanced up at the navy sky and saw the waning half moon looking back at me.
“I’ve been thinking,” Derek said, bending to pick up a shell. “I need a name.”
“You have a name,” I said. “Derek Wendell Turner.”
He gave me a look. He hated his middle name; he thought it was girly. I thought it was adorable.
I kicked sand at his ankles and he said, “Hybrid sounds lame. And I’m sick of the werewolves calling me a mutant. I’ve been playing around with mixing vampire and lycan together. You know, because lycans are werewolves?”
“Uh-huh,” I said, humoring him. This was such a boy thing to do—needing a badass name. “So what’d you come up with?”
“Viran.”
“Viran,” I repeated. “Wouldn’t a cross between vampire and lycan be vican?”
Derek tossed the shell into the ocean and said, “Yeah, but I like viran better. Sounds more threatening.”
I smiled. “I like it, too. From now on I’ll be sure to call you by your proper name. I’ll spread it around.”
Derek looked like he was going to ask something, but stopped himself.
“Spit it out,” I said. “I hate when you hold stuff back, it makes me nervous.”
Derek tossed another shell into the surf and said, “I was just wondering.... Can Lucas only change into a wolf? Like, is that his only form?”
“I guess so. He can change into the regular-looking wolf when it’s not the full moon. Then he changes into the giant half-man, half-wolf thing on the full moon. Why do you ask?”
“Curiosity.”
“I’m curious about something, too.”
“Hmm?” He still looked like he was thinking about something else.
“Do you have any triggers?” My worry was that the rash violence I’d witnessed earlier would manifest in view of the humans, and if so, how he would manage to keep that in check at CSU.
Derek shook his head, seeming to come out of whatever he was pondering. “Not really. I don’t think my, ah . . . trigger is as sensitive as a regular werewolf’s. I really only feel overwhelmed when I get a sudden rush, you know? It makes it difficult when I get angry or sad, because it also . . .” He broke off and cleared his throat. “It also makes me crave blood.”
“What?” I whispered, aghast.
“The trigger doesn’t just make me want to change—it makes me want blood, too. And I don’t
want
to drink blood, but I can’t help what I’m feeling. Sometimes the only way to stop the blood crave from taking over is to change. It’s confusing and annoying to try and figure out which craving to deal with—blood or beast—but, I don’t know, it’s manageable for now. I just hope it doesn’t get worse.”
“Me, too.”
Something in my voice must have tipped him off to the upset roiling within me, because his tone lightened significantly when he said, “Anyway, it’s not all bad. The strength and speed—man, I never thought I could be so powerful.” He stretched his arms out in from of him, twisting his wrists around as if he’d just awoken from a long nap. “If only I could play ball like this.” He smiled over at me. “And the wolf thing is sweet, too, once the transformation is done with. Sometimes after you . . . go back, I change and run along the beach or in the desert. It feels good to just run. It’s like a release.”
I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. It had been so long since I ran, and I suddenly realized how much I’d been missing it. I made a little vow to myself to get back into track during the coming semester.
I’d realized during this trip to California just how much of myself I’d given up since coming into the underworld. All of my old friends with their happy, carefree faces and stories of frat parties and straight-A’s sent a sliver of jealousy through me. I loved Lucas, yes. And I loved Derek—even if it was platonic—but that didn’t mean I had to let them consume my life the way they had since Derek’s infection.
I listened to the waves for a little while and then asked, “Are you scared?”
Derek frowned down at me.
“Of the full moon, I mean.”
“Oh . . . that.” He sighed. “Not really scared, just nervous. I can’t remember what it was like last time, so I don’t know what to expect. I don’t want to lose my mind.... Be all crazy like Lucas talks about.”
“You won’t,” I said surely. More surely than I felt, for certain.
Derek sighed again. “Hope you’re right.” He reached his long arm out and slung it around my shoulders, pulling me close. We walked in synch, and I felt his fingers flicker up and down my arm. “You’re getting tan again,” he said.
I shrugged, hoping he didn’t take it as a betrayal of our friendship that I’d been basking in the sun for the past week.
His fingers continued to stroke my arm in an increasingly sensual manner, and our pace had slowed so much we were barely moving anymore. My heart began to hammer. I worried about his intentions and whether I’d have the strength to hurt him again by refusing his advances. Even though I forgave Derek of his past mistakes—and I truly did forgive him now—that didn’t mean I was willing to let Lucas go for him. I loved Derek. Always would. But our relationship would never be romantic again with Lucas in my life.
Derek stopped walking and turned to face me, looking down at me with a million different emotions playing across his features. He moved to close the distance between us, and whether he was going for a hug or a kiss, I couldn’t tell, but either way, we couldn’t go there. It was wrong and unfair to . . . well, to everyone.
So I pulled away, tucking my hair behind my ear as I averted my gaze. I didn’t want to see the look on his face.
“I wasn’t going to kiss you,” he said.
I glanced up at him, surprised and a little shaken. “I know,” I lied.
“I am capable of being your friend, Faith. I’ve been doing it for years.”
“Yeah, but now . . .”
“What? What makes now so different that you can’t even hug me?”
Now there was Lucas. I had a boyfriend. One who was, okay, a smidge possessive and probably wouldn’t appreciate smelling Derek all over me when I went back to him.