Authors: Kallysten
As soon as they returned, she’d
ask questions, so she wouldn’t feel so wildly out of her depth on that topic,
too. There was so much she didn’t know about the Quickening, the court, and
Foh’Ran; she wanted to have one thing she understood completely. If that thing
was related to her boyfriend…
Well, she was supposed to be in
charge, wasn’t she? She could decide her priorities. And since not
understanding distracted her to the point that she couldn’t focus on a simple
channeling task for more than five minutes, it definitely was a priority.
With an annoyed grunt, she let the
tangled ribbons of color dissipate. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and
tried to calm her thoughts before she started again, but before she felt ready,
a quick knock on the door caused her to open her eyes again. Her heart did a
little dance in her chest as she watched Aedan walk in, followed by Brad.
Aedan came to a stop a couple of
yards in front of her chair and gave her that small bow that was so familiar by
now.
“Dame Vivien. You have my
apologies for the abruptness of my words and actions before we left the room.”
“I don’t need an apology,” she
said, her gaze flicking back and forth between Aedan and Brad, now standing
next to each other. “But an explanation would be nice. What do I need to know
about Brad being a vampire? That’s what it was about, wasn’t it?”
They exchanged a long look before
turning to her again.
“Vampires feed on blood,” Aedan
started, sounding hesitant.
Vivien would have rolled her eyes
and said she knew that much if she hadn’t realized he was giving himself time
to pick his words. She waited, although she glanced at Brad, wondering why he
was letting Aedan explain. Until now, Brad had been the one who taught her most
of what she needed to know to live on Foh’Ran. Only for matters that touched
the court had Brad let Aedan take over, clearly because Aedan knew more about
the subject. Was this the same thing? Aedan had been a vampire longer, but Brad
was one now, too.
“Our instinct is to feed from
humans,” Aedan continued. “It is not forbidden to us as such, but it can only
happen with the consent of the human being bitten, and even so it is dangerous
enough that most vampires don’t care to risk it. However, knowing we shouldn’t
do something doesn’t always stop us when the hunger becomes too powerful. For a
newly-made vampire, that hunger is near constant. Bradan needs to learn
control, and until he does I cannot allow him to be alone with you, or even to
be anywhere near you when he is hungry.”
For a few seconds, Vivien let
herself absorb the words. They sounded awfully convenient, given how Aedan had
disapproved of Brad and Vivien becoming close. It seemed that he now had what
he considered a good reason to object. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t, and
had never been, up to him to object to whom Vivien chose to love.
“I understand what you’re saying,”
she said calmly. “But you need to understand it’s not your role to allow me to
do anything. Besides, Brad would never hurt me.”
Aedan’s face was already twisting
into disapproval. Having no interest in being lectured, Vivien turned her
attention to Brad, who’d been both silent and still until now. She couldn’t
help but smile as their eyes met.
“Tell him,” she said. “Tell him
you won’t hurt me.”
After a quick glance at his
brother, Brad looked at Vivien again.
“I wish I could,” he said softly.
“I don’t
want
to hurt you. But it’s not even been a full day yet, and
I’m starting to understand that hunger. We have to trust that Aedan knows best
for this.” After a brief pause, he added, quieter still, “And while he can’t
make you do anything, the same is not true where I am concerned.”
Aedan flinched at those last
words, compounding Vivien’s confusion. Aedan was all but unflappable. Why would
he react in such a manner at Brad’s words?
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“It means,” Aedan said after
clearing his throat, “that vampires are inclined to obey their Maker, the same
way we’re inclined to seek human blood. We can resist that urge, but like
resisting the hunger, it is very hard to do for newly-turned vampires.”
Vivien found herself with a dozen
more questions, but before she could voice any of them, Brad sat in the chair
across her, leaning forward with his arms resting on his thighs so that he
bridged a little the distance between them.
“Listen,” he said intently. “I’m
sure you have tons of questions, but can they wait? We only have days to get
you ready for the duel, and understanding vampires isn’t going to do you much
good when you face Rhuinn. There’ll be time for that later, all right?”
She knew he was right, but it was
still a challenge to nod. It wasn’t vampires she wanted to understand; it was
him, and how much becoming one had changed him. One thing, at least, was still
the same: the same love as ever was shining in his eyes, whether they were blue
or silver.
“All right,” she said, pushing the
words past her tight throat and holding her hand out to him. “Teach me.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Moving Forward
Before Bradan allowed himself to
reach for Vivien’s proffered hand, he looked at Aedan, seeking his approval. It
felt odd; earlier, he’d been upset with his brother, jealous in a way he’d
never experienced before, and now he needed his approval about something that
concerned Vivien, which was also a first.
After a pause just long enough for
Bradan to notice it, Aedan offered him the barest of nods.
As Bradan took Vivien’s hand, he
could tell that she, too, had noticed the byplay, but whatever she thought of
it, she didn’t say. He tried to put the matter out of his mind and not let
himself dwell on how warm her hand felt inside his, how fast her heartbeat
seemed, echoing in his ears as well as pulsing against his fingertips on her
wrist. He had to focus on the matter at hand, which was to keep her safe.
The first duel would not threaten
her well-being, but losing it would mean risking her life in the long run.
They’d never talked about her challenging Rhuinn to a duel, and if they had,
Bradan would have argued against the idea, but now that she’d made that choice,
all he could do was help her make it a good one.
“Do you have any questions about
the duel?” he asked first. “Or do you understand how it’s all going to work?”
Her fingers tightened briefly over
his hand.
“I understand how it’s supposed to
work,” she said, “but what I don’t quite get is how the winner is chosen if we
can’t hurt each other.”
Through the bond, a grim sense of
foreboding drifted toward Bradan. He glanced at Aedan, who stood to the side,
his arms crossed and his eyes focused on Bradan’s and Vivien’s linked hands. He
lifted his gaze to meet Bradan’s, although no recognizable emotion pierced
through them.
“That’s the thing,” Bradan said,
looking back at Vivien. “You two
can
hurt each other. And there’s no
doubt that he will hurt you. But you can’t shed blood, can’t leave a mark on
each other’s body, and can’t inflict any damage that might cause death. If
either of you died after the duel from injuries sustained during your fight,
the survivor would lose the duel.”
Vivien nodded, her lips twisting
into a wry grin.
“Yeah, I remember reading that. I
don’t think I want to try that road to win. But then how do I win?”
“By being smart. By trapping him,
and making him forget that anything you channel with the Quickening, he can
unravel with enough strength of will. And by remembering that you can unravel
anything he weaves.”
Bradan kept his voice smooth and
confident, but the tiny hint of worry he felt didn’t solely come from the bond.
He wouldn’t dream of mentioning it aloud, and it was unneeded anyway because
Vivien was well aware of it, but the fact remained that Rhuinn had used the
Quickening all of his life while she was new to channeling. She’d made great
progress in very little time, but there was no denying that Rhuinn had the
advantage. And maybe they could use that against him.
“He’ll think he’s already won,” he
said, wrapping his other hand over hers. “He’ll think you’re a novice, and
don’t know what you’re doing. He’ll be overconfident. And you’ll use that to
beat him.”
The moment he saw the gleam of
relief in her eyes, he realized how much she’d needed to hear those very words.
But whether needed or not, they were only words, and what Vivien needed most
was practice. He started to say so but trailed off when he realized, yet again,
the truth of his new condition: he couldn’t channel. He couldn’t train Vivien,
at least not by practicing dueling with her.
“Something wrong?” Vivien asked
when he’d been silent too long.
Her expression conveyed her worry
and matched the concern filtering through the bond. Very careful not to glance
at Aedan, Bradan forced a smile to his lips and stood, squeezing Vivien’s hand
once before he released it.
“Nothing,” he said. “Everything’s
fine. I’m trying to think of what would be the best way for you to train. I
think…” He licked his lips. “Maybe we could start by having you practice
channeling even when you’re being distracted.”
A tiny smile brightened her face
as she looked up at him.
“And how do you suggest
distracting me?” she asked in a low, teasing voice.
Bradan would have given anything
at that moment for them to be alone—for Aedan’s presence not to be necessary.
But even moments after feeding, he could recognize the already-familiar
stirrings of hunger inside him.
They weren’t so strong that he
couldn’t ignore them, and with any luck Aedan wouldn’t even pick up on them
through the bond. But the truth was there, whether Bradan liked it or not: he
craved blood. And not just any blood, either, but the hot blood he could hear
pumping through Vivien’s veins. He wasn’t even sure if it was her blood he
wanted or simply her; in his mind, the distinction seemed to have become
tenuous.
He didn’t intend to do anything
about it, of course, but Aedan’s warning hovered in his mind, coloring
everything. Better that he was there and kept a close eye on Bradan. Better
that neither of them trusted Bradan completely, especially since Vivien did.
In the end, he couldn’t think of a
better distraction than talking to her while she channeled, asking her
questions about the classes they’d followed back in the Otherworld and
demanding that she answer without ever stopping what she was doing. It was
training; at this point, anything that forced her to channel and keep her focus
despite distractions was good training. Still, Bradan couldn’t help but regret
that he couldn’t channel alongside her anymore.
Since bringing her back to
Foh’Ran, it seemed as though he’d done little else, teaching her to use the
Quickening by showing her how he did it. Teaching her now, when he could
neither channel himself nor see what she was doing unless she specifically
channeled so that he could see it, was different. The loss was an ache in his
chest that he was sure echoed through the bond, though Aedan never asked about
it as he watched them train.
They practiced all morning,
stopping when Doril came to tell Vivien her lunch was served. After lunch,
Aedan suggested some reading and pulled books from the shelves in the library
that recounted past duels, to give Vivien some idea about the kinds of
strategies Rhuinn might employ—or that she might adopt herself.
She read, and they discussed
tactics until mid-afternoon, at which point she stood and stretched her arms
over her head.
“I need a break,” she said then
with a quiet groan. “And to clear my head. I think I’ll go for a run.”
Bradan started to say he’d go with
her, and then it struck him yet again. He couldn’t, not now, in the middle of
the day, when the sun shone brightly over the castle. He was still struggling
with that realization when Aedan cleared his throat and said, “You would be
safe on the grounds by yourself as long as you remain within the shields, but
as your guard I would ask you to please wait until one of us can accompany
you.”
Vivien’s fleeting expression of
confusion, quickly replaced by understanding, showed that, she, like Bradan,
had forgotten. She took Aedan’s words in stride and nodded.
“All right. After the sun sets,
then.”
It was rare that she agreed so
easily with Aedan’s suggestions, and Bradan could see it for what it was: she
wasn’t so much agreeing with him as choosing the solution that meant Bradan
would be able to go with her. He felt a surge of affection for her and wished,
more than ever, that he could have taken her in his arms. He had to settle for
a smile.
* * * *
Aedan still didn’t understand this
running thing.
He could do it, of course, and was
doing exactly that at the moment, running at what felt like a terribly slow
pace a couple of feet behind Dame Vivien and Bradan. What was the point if one
didn’t run to their full potential, as Dame Vivien’s regular but unstrained heartbeat
told him was the case? For that matter, what was the point of running in
circles around the castle?
Aedan enjoyed running when it was
part of the hunt or even part of an attack necessary for his duty as a
bodyguard. But this… No, this was not enjoyable, or at least not to him. He
supposed Bradan had taken up this kind of running—jogging, he called it—as a
way to remain close to their dame, but what was Dame Vivien’s reasoning behind
it? Could she possibly enjoy this? How very odd.
Regardless of what he felt about
this strange pastime or his lack of interest in it, he kept pace with them,
remaining two strides behind them.
Part of him refused to believe
Bradan would do anything to hurt their dame, but that was the brother in him
talking, the boy who had grown up with Bradan and sworn his first blood oath
alongside him. Another part of him, the vampire part, knew how strong the need
for blood could be and remembered how hard it had been, right after being
turned, not to yield to his instincts every time the hunger twisted his
insides, clamoring for a bite, for hot, strong, human blood.
On their second pass by the woods,
Bradan and Dame Vivien slowed down then started walking together toward the
lake, their hands reaching for and finding each other in a gesture that seemed
almost instinctual. Now walking behind them, Aedan clenched his teeth and
refrained from saying anything; he knew his opinion on this particular subject
was unwanted.
He continued to observe his
brother closely, however, ready to intervene, and couldn’t fail to notice
Bradan’s gaze darting toward the woods a few times. Those looks matched the
quiet but growing hunger that filtered through the bond.
“Go, brother,” he told Bradan.
“I’ll see our dame back to the castle.”
Dame Vivien startled at the sound
of his voice and whirled back toward him, as though she had forgotten he was
there. The realization was bittersweet. Bodyguards were supposed to remain
unobtrusive as they kept watch over their charges, but it wasn’t his stealth
that had kept him out of his dame’s mind, he was well aware of it.
Bradan, on the other hand, froze
and did not look back. The bond vibrated with irritation.
“I’m fine,” he said, still not
looking at Aedan.
“Of course you’re fine,” Aedan
said dryly. “If you weren’t—”
He stopped himself before pointing
out what, he hoped, was obvious: if Bradan hadn’t been in control of his
hunger, Aedan would have long since taken their dame away from him.
“The point is for you to remain
fine. Go. Hunt. Feed. And that’s not a suggestion.”
Now Bradan looked at him. His eyes
flashed silver in the near darkness. Aedan held his gaze, pushing his
determination—and his increasing annoyance—through the bond like a warning. At
Bradan’s side, Dame Vivien looked back and forth between them a few times
before saying in a quiet voice, “You can go if you need to. I don’t mind. I’ll
wait.”
Bradan’s gaze turned to her, and a
visible shudder shook her body when their eyes met. How long would it take her
to grow used to the new color of Bradan’s eyes? To Aedan, those flashes of
silver were like knives flying to his heart every single time.
“I won’t be long,” Bradan said in
a low, deep voice.
When he leaned toward her, it was
all Aedan could do not to leap forward and push Bradan away. Controlling
himself, he did nothing more than watch as his brother pressed a chaste kiss to
their dame’s cheek before pulling away and running toward the woods, looking
back at them twice. For a few seconds after he’d disappeared she continued to
watch the woods, only tearing her eyes away when Aedan spoke.
“Dame Vivien? Do you wish to
return to the castle?”
She shivered as though a jolt had
passed through her and glanced at him before striding resolutely toward the
lake.
“No. I’ll wait for him, like I
said.”
She advanced to the very edge of
the lake, sitting down on a flat rock from which, as children, they used to
jump into the water. The sight of her proud, stiff back sent a pang of longing
through Aedan. Things had been easier back then. And she’d smiled a lot more.
Keeping an eye on her, he
approached the edge of the woods. Bushes inside the woods yielded bigger,
sweeter roseberries, but he didn’t dare step out of sight so he contented
himself with picking a handful of the smaller berries, gathering them inside a
large tree leaf. When, moments later, he went to sit near Dame Vivien and
offered her the berries, he received what he’d hoped for: a smile.
* * * *
As Vivien sat on the edge of the
lake, with the cool rock under her and the familiar burbling noises of the
water in the background, she wished this could have been just another outing to
the lake with Brad, another chance to practice channeling in the place where
she’d first learned.
While they’d been running, she’d
all but forgotten that Aedan had accompanied them. Now, she couldn’t ignore his
presence at her side, a silent, unmoving form guarding her from less than a
yard away. Every time she turned her head to guide the flowing ribbons of
Quickening over the water and caught sight of him from the corner of her eye, she
had to remind herself that it wasn’t Brad. And every time, her focus wavered,
and she had to push herself to concentrate again on her channeling.
The taste of the berries lingering
on her tongue, at least, sweetened Brad’s absence.
Aedan was the one who had
suggested this unplanned practice while she waited for Brad to return. The idea
had not thrilled her, far from it, but at least it kept her mind occupied—and
maybe, if she was lucky, following Aedan’s advice would garner her some good
will from him once she worked up the courage to ask—no, not ask. She had no
desire or need to ask for Aedan’s permission, let alone his blessing. She would
tell him, and that was all there was to it.