Bloodmark (24 page)

I clung to Baran. He was the father I never had. He was everything to me that my father never could be. And I loved him for that and so much more. He chose to love me. He chose to protect me. He didn’t have to, and yet here he was, wasting his time on a lost cause like me.

“I thought you were dying,” he said.

“Adomnan found me in my dreams, and he killed everyone to get to me,” I whispered. “Everyone.”

“That will never happen,” he said. I looked up into his chiseled face; his dark eyes were strong and true.

I looked out the window. My shadow had returned to his original post. I almost couldn’t see him, but he was there. Was it Adomnan, was he finding a way into my head? If I could feel Grey’s physical pain, it could be possible that Adomnan was sitting outside my window, eating away at my sanity. Maybe that was his plan, to destroy me from the inside.

Whether the shadow was Adomnan or not, the dream had to be a sign. He was close. I hadn’t dreamed of him since before Grey and I were together. Was he actually the reason I had been safe, and without Grey in my life I was left unprotected? But Grey wasn’t mine anymore. I had a greater purpose—to protect Nia and my pack. Maybe I didn’t have a werewolf love. Because Grey wasn’t a wolf. Maybe he was supposed to be, but Brenna made the wrong choice. Maybe the fate Calista wrote of was interrupted by Brenna’s choice to mate with Robert, and all of fate stood differently now.

My fate wasn’t tied to some old prophecy; it was tied to my soul. And my soul was free—I had to believe that. I had to fight. I wouldn’t let Adomnan hurt my family or break Old Mother’s heart. He wouldn’t spill our sacred blood anymore. I decided I would make my own fate.

“Baran?”

“Yes?” he replied.

“Why . . .” I paused, gathering my strength, “why are you here with me? Why are you still protecting me? I’m not a member of your pack.”

I couldn’t look at him to ask the question. I didn’t want to know the answer, and yet I had to know. I snuck a peek at his face through my shield of hair. The lines and age of his face showed plainly as he considered my question.

“Old Mother created three who were the wisest of us all. They had been around for centuries before the others. The power of the three together was meant to bring unity to the earth and create one pack led by your maternal grandmother, Rhea Vanir; Uaid Dvergar; and your paternal great-grandfather, Donal Boru. Mother Rhea, Uaid, and Donal were three sides of the Triquetra; mind, body, and soul. Mother Rhea was the nurturer. Many legends speak of Donal’s wisdom, and Uaid brought strength to the packs. Together, they united our kind, and we all benefited from the Elder Gods standing together. Old Mother had intended them to protect the balance of life and protect her most glorious creation, the humans.

“But out of their formation, a hierarchy of the packs was created. The Elder Gods, the royal packs, the noble packs, the servant packs, the nomadic packs, and the forsaken packs. In that order of importance.”

“We aren’t broken into groups like that.”

“We are, Ashling. You have just never been allowed to see the others before. You were surrounded by what they wanted you to see. Who they wanted you to meet. You, Ashling, are of the royal pack. Not only are you royal, but you descend from both Vanir and Boru Elder Gods, making you and your siblings an even higher-elevated status in the pack hierarchy. I am of Killian. Killians were once royal, but we are nothing more than nomads now. We lost our lands, and with it, our humans to protect and our status.”

“I don’t understand,” I said.

Baran was still as night. “Before my father’s royal lands were taken, he swore our lives to the aid and protection of Rhea Vanir and all her offspring. When only my sister and I remained, we had no choice but to serve your father in exchange for his protection. But I still serve Mother Rhea, and I belong to your mother, and so I protect you. As you are of their blood.”

“So you protect me because you have to?” I said. I knew it was childish, but I wanted his approval and his love rather than to be his burden.

“Yes. I protect you because it’s in my blood. I could never deny the duty of my blood. But I care about you because I choose to, just as I have always loved your mother and I love you as though you were my own child. Because I choose to. You are as much of me as I am of you. Though I am no longer of your station and should not cross this boundary, I can’t stop myself from caring for you. You have wiggled your way into my heart.”

“How can there be a boundary for caring?”

“You
are supposed to only interact, marry, and befriend wolves within your royal status, with the possibility of royal or noble mates upon your father’s discretion. But you aren’t even to speak directly to lower packs. It’s lowering yourself to our level.”

“And you believe that?”

“I choose to play their games.”

“Well, I choose to be your friend,” I replied. The indignation poured from my lips.

Baran tried to hide his smile. “Ashling, you should know and understand your place. You need to understand the ramifications of the things you defiantly
choose
to do. Even if Grey were truly a wolf and one of us—which he is not—you couldn’t love him. Killian is no longer of royal blood. You wouldn’t be permitted to even speak to him. And he would be stoned to death for even daring to look you in the eye. It’s best it ended now, before your father and the counsel learned of it. They would kill him for the offense.”

That my own family would kill Grey was more than I could bear. “What is wrong with these people?” I said. “You’re my friend and my only protection, and you aren’t supposed to be allowed to talk to me? Why would they send me with you if we aren’t even supposed to speak?”

“Your father asked me to protect you because I’m hard to track and even harder to kill.”

“Why?”

“I’m a dire wolf, Ashling,” he said. “The Killian pack was created to protect, so I’m nearly twice the size of your father and twice as strong.”

“Then why didn’t you protect your family?” I asked.

A sad smile crossed his face. “I was just a boy then, not nearly full grown.” He sighed. “I lost everything that day, my brothers, my parents, my pack, and my lands. When we lost our status, I even lost my betrothed.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“And so am I,” he said. “If it weren’t for your father, Brenna and I would be lost too.”

“I hate my father.”

“Don’t hate him. I don’t agree with the laws, Ashling, but you can’t change the whole world in a day.”

“Well, I don’t agree with any of it,” I said.

“Ash, you shouldn’t say such things,” Mund said, entering the room. “You endanger Baran’s life when you do.”

“But these laws are ludicrous,” I said.

“I agree. Baran is a trusted friend to me and Mother, and he can be your friend. But just remember where you are and whom you are with so you don’t endanger his life. I’m sorry you have to learn all these lessons now. Father decided you had to be hidden from everything in order to keep you safe until you were sold in marriage. I am sorry I failed you. I should have taught you more. There was never enough time.”

“Mund, I don’t want to be sheltered anymore. I want to know everything. I want to find my place among these ashes of life. I want to make a difference.”

“Good,” he said. He messed up my hair, then walked toward the door. “I always knew you would change our world—but you have to be smart, Ash. Learn Father’s rules, so you can break them. I’ll be glad to be by your side when you do it.” And with that, he was gone again.

The whole world was against me, but I would overcome this. I would make them all see they had been wrong. There wasn’t anything wrong with me. If I fell now, it was because I let myself fall. I wasn’t going to let Father and his stupid rules drown me. I knew what I wanted and I knew who I was, even if I had to fight the whole world. I felt empowered.

“Do you think you can get some more rest?” Baran asked.

“I can. Sweet dreams, Baran.”

“You too, my little
ylva
,” he said with a smile, and walked out the door.

My only remaining guest was in the shadows outside. The energy that flowed through my veins made me want to jump out my window, march right up to that shadow, and tell it to bloody shove off. Who did it think it was, standing out there, waiting every bloody night? Was it actually Adomnan, or some other wolf he sent to watch me? Adomnan had a twisted soul, but he was patient. But what was he waiting for? Was he waiting for me to make the first move? Maybe that was part of the trap. Well, he could just keep on waiting.

I could just surrender myself and let this all be over, but I wouldn’t do that. I would never surrender. I would never be Adomnan’s pet, I could never endure it. I had to flee before he attacked my family; I would have to run away to free everyone from me.

Did Grey actually think he could live without me forever? We were bonded to each other. There was no way to live apart now. We were meant to be, and there was nothing his father could do to change it . . . or my father, for that matter.

The sun was on the horizon, and my shadow was gone with the night. Figuring I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, I decided to get up and get ready for school. It was the last school day before the winter break . . . I could do one more day. I quickly got ready, straightening my hair, and grabbed my black leather jacket on my way downstairs. No one was up yet. I walked as quietly as I could to the kitchen, tossed a bagel into the toaster, and opened the fridge.

“Looking for something?” Mund asked.

I spun around to see him sitting at the table. Had he been there the whole time? He was already ready for school as he studied my appearance. I had to admit, it was very dark for something I would normally wear.

“So . . . you look different,” he said as he tossed a tub of cream cheese to me.

I turned away, busying myself with my bagel. “Yeah, I feel different today,” I said as I shoved my bagel into my mouth.

“How has it been going with Grey?” he asked.

“He won’t speak to me,” I said.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to rough him up a little?” he said with a smile.

“I can handle it myself, thank you,” I said. “I’m off to school.”

“Me too,” he said, standing up and following me to the door. “I’ll see you there.”

“Yep.”

I arrived at the school, and grounds were dead silent. I was forty-five minutes early for school, and not a single other car was in the parking lot. Mund didn’t follow me directly—he stayed to kiss his family goodbye. He seemed to trust me more now. I finally had a moment to myself where no one was hiding in the shadows, waiting to eat me alive. Just then, I heard the rumble of a motorcycle approaching and watched Grey pull up next to my car.

17

Eyes of the Night

I couldn’t believe he was still riding his motorcycle
. It was so cold, but there he sat in all his masculine glory. His messy hair was even wilder. His brilliant green eyes were greener. His lips were more inviting. The longer we were apart, the stronger I felt the pull toward him. My desire was written plainly across my face.

He dropped the kickstand but stayed seated on his bike. His eyes probed into my soul, as though he had asked me to dance. I got out, walked over, and stood next to him; I couldn’t walk away. He was intoxicating to me. I needed him, but I couldn’t get any closer either. I would be in his arms again. Everything about him made my skin tingle. If only he could see what he really was.

“Grey?” I asked.

“I just had to see you,” he said.

The pain in his green eyes was clear. I knew he missed being mine. We hadn’t been alone together since our last kiss. Either Mund or the teachers had their eyes on us at all times. We had gotten in a lot of trouble for that stunt, but I didn’t mind. Our classmates began to fill the parking lot around us. No one seemed to notice the odd stillness between Grey and me.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I am now that I’m with you,” he said, half-smiling at me.

Mund’s scent drifted through the air. He wouldn’t be happy I was standing here with Grey. I heard him approaching, every step calculated and planned. He was casual in appearance, but the stiffness of his back and the tension in the air were heavy.

“What is this half-breed doing here?” Mund asked.

“Mund, don’t,” I said.

Grey and I were frozen in the center of a lie, unable to do anything but stare at one another. Mund seemed cold as steel to me, while I could feel the heat rolling off Grey’s skin. When I was away from him, I swore I was going to avoid him and let him live. Then when he was here, I could hardly keep my wits about me. His presence filled my mind, clouding out any rational thought and leaving the overwhelming desire to be near him.

Emma and Beth walked over, breaking my concentration. Emma was upset, but Beth looked as if she were going to burst with anger and smack Grey right in the face. I loved her spitfire attitude. None of us moved and no one said anything. It was eerie and unnatural, but everyone around us pulsed with energy.

Suddenly, the charge in the air was thick with the threat of danger . . . something bad was coming. Grey jumped off his motorcycle and pushed me toward Mund and the girls, putting himself in front of me. I was sandwiched between Grey and Mund. What could possibly make Grey turn his back to Mund? He had to sense the rage inside Mund and have some sense of self-preservation. What could possibly make him endanger himself? I searched the crowds of students and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. How did Grey sense what was coming before Mund or I did? I intertwined my fingers with Beth and Emma’s, giving them a quick squeeze of reassurance. I didn’t know what was coming, but I knew it wasn’t good.

The crowd parted, and out walked Adomnan, flanked by Eamon and Bento. My heart sank to the ground at the sight of them. They looked completely out of place here. Dressed in fine velvet jackets, dark jeans, and collared shirts. They looked decadent and dangerous at the same time. It was a beautiful juxtaposition, worthy of a painting by a master.