Blooms of Consequence (Dusk Gate Chronicles Book 4) (12 page)

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know what I’m saying. I don’t know enough about it yet, but I think we should talk to him, and not assume that we know for sure whose side he’s on. I think we could give him the benefit of the doubt.”

Nathaniel frowned, studying her closely. “What else aren’t you telling us, Quinn?”

“I told him who I really am.”

The room was completely silent for several moments as the impact of her statement sank in.

“So you’ve made a decision, then,” Nathaniel said.

She closed her eyes, nodding slowly. “I also told my mother last night that I don’t intend to go home again – at least not to stay.”

William sank down onto the bed beside her, shock in his expression. “You really did that?”

“I really did.”

“Are you sure, Quinn? Because you don’t have to be.”

Staring down at her lap for a minute, knotting and unknotting her fingers, she considered her answer carefully. Alvin’s words from the dream she’d had yesterday morning in the tent came, unbidden, into her head.

“Beloved, perhaps I’ll be able to stop asking such questions when you stop doing the things you don’t mean to be doing, and start doing the things you mean to.”

Finally, she looked back up at Nathaniel. “I know I don’t
have
to. I could spend the rest of my life not
having to
. Nobody here is going to make me, are they? Everyone keeps telling me to just think about it, to wait until I’ve been home, to take my time. I could probably get away with
never
making a decision.

“But what would that accomplish? I could do what my father did – run away, and pretend I don’t have to face this, but that won’t really fix anything, will it? And it’s all a show, anyway, isn’t it? That I don’t have to make a decision right now? Not deciding is a choice, too. Not deciding is making things worse, because nobody can
do
anything. I think I’ve known for a while now. I think I knew when I decided to join the Friends of Philip.”

Nathaniel opened his mouth and then closed it again. Slowly, he nodded.

She took another deep breath before speaking again, looking at each of them in turn. “You two are the most protective of me – always ready to jump in and not make me do anything I don’t want to do. And I appreciate that, and I love you both.” She blushed, because she’d never told Nathaniel that before, but she realized that it was true.

“But right now – with this, I need you to
not
try to protect me from it. I need your support – need you to take my decision seriously, and stand behind me – not in my way.”

Nathaniel stared at her for a long moment, but finally he nodded again. “Okay. Would you like me to go and speak with Stephen – set up a meeting with him?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Nathaniel finished re-taping her bandage, and packing some supplies back into the drawer on her nightstand. He took a couple of steps toward the door, and then hesitated, turning around and walking back to her.

“I loved you from the first moment your father handed you to me, Quinn – that’s never changed, and it’s never going to. I’m proud of you, baby girl, and I know, somewhere, he is, too.”

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, and she could see that his cheeks were flushed red, too. He straightened back up, looking a little embarrassed, which only softened her heart more, and then he left the room.

*          *          *

Once the door had closed behind Nathaniel, she turned to see William watching her intently.

“Can I just ask one thing?” He asked, as he took her hand in his.

She raised an eyebrow.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with what I said yesterday, does it?”

“What? When you asked me to marry you?”

“Yeah.” He was staring down at their intertwined hands.

She reached toward him, putting her finger under his chin, and tipping his face up so that he was looking at her. Her heart thumped in an erratic rhythm, but she took a deep breath. “No, it doesn’t. I think I’ve been coming close to this decision for a long time – and yesterday morning, I realized that I’d already made it. I knew before I even said anything to Jonathan.”

“Okay ... so long as it’s really your decision. I just wanted to make sure that you knew I’m not going anywhere whatever you decide.” The last words were almost a whisper, and she studied him for a long moment before she spoke.

“Are we going to talk about that now?”

Now
he
was blushing. It was awfully early in the day for this amount of awkwardness. “I’m sorry,” he said, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “My timing is awful, I know. I should have planned this – there should have been flowers... You’d probably even like a ring, the way people do it in your world.”

“So ... you
were
serious, then.” Her stomach should have been twisting into knots, but it wasn’t. There were a few butterflies, yes, but they were a completely different kind.

“Yes.” His eyes met hers, and the depth of the emotion she saw there took her breath away. “Look – I know it’s not good timing, that you’re dealing with your mom coming here, that you’re already making a huge decision...”

“That I’m only seventeen...”

“Yeah... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be doing this.”

He was right – everything he was saying was true. It wasn’t the right time, she was too young, she had too many other decisions to make ... but she knew, somehow, that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter when he asked, or where or how, or how old she was, or what was going on around them. None of it mattered, because whenever he asked, she would only ever have one answer to his question.

“Will...”

He looked up again, and she’d never seen him so nervous or embarrassed. His hand, inside hers, was sweating.

“Yes.”

His eyes widened just a fraction. “What?”

“Yes, I am saying yes. I will marry you.”

He looked confused for a couple of seconds, and then his mouth split open into the biggest grin she had ever seen. His sudden joy was so complete that it was contagious, and she couldn’t help grinning too.

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly before his mouth found hers, gently at first, but quickly turning more intense...

One sharp knock was all the warning they had before her bedroom door opened wide, and Thomas and Linnea walked right in, followed by Quinn’s mother.

*          *          *

William stood up so fast it was almost comical. “Your leg is looking a lot better today.”

She nodded, attempting to compose herself and failing miserably. She knew it was obvious to everyone – especially to her mom – what they’d been doing. Linnea, pretending not to notice, picked up the robe from the bench at the end of her bed and walked toward her with it.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, as Linnea helped her hang it over her shoulders and put her free arm into the sleeve.

“You look like you’re feeling better this morning,” her mom said, and Quinn didn’t think her face had
ever
felt this hot. Linnea moved behind her and started brushing out her disheveled hair.

The look on her mother’s face made Quinn’s heart sink into her stomach. She remembered her mother’s accusation from yesterday, and she realized that the idea of her and William getting married was not going to fly with her mother at all. Suddenly, she felt nauseous again.

“How’s your leg?” Megan asked.

“It’s okay.” Grateful for the distraction, she almost stood up to demonstrate, but truthfully, it was hurting, and just the thought of putting weight on it made her nervous. “Sort of, anyway,” she admitted.

“You never even told me what happened,” Megan said. “How bad did you hurt it?”

“She cut it pretty badly,” William said, the dark anger coming in again at the edges of his voice as Quinn lifted the edge of her nightgown to reveal the white bandage and the blossoming purple and red that covered her upper leg. “Twelve stitches.”

“Oh, honey.” Megan’s whole demeanor changed, softening into concern. She sank down onto the bed, careful not to jostle anything. “Your first stitches... I’m so sorry.”

From behind Megan, Thomas raised an eyebrow.

Quinn stomach tightened into a knot – yes, she was definitely nauseous again. “It wasn’t the first time,” she mumbled. “I’m okay, Mom.”

Megan’s eyes widened. “You’ve been hurt here before, and you never even bothered to tell me.” It wasn’t a question. “You get hurt while I’m here, and I’m not even allowed to be there for you. You just run away and hide from me – get everyone here to guard you. From
me.”
Her eyes flitted from Thomas to Linnea and William, both still hovering over Quinn.
“
I... I can’t do this right now. Excuse me.”

And with that, Megan stalked toward the door, slamming it behind her without ever looking back.

All of the blood in Quinn’s body drained into her toes, and she was suddenly cold, even as tears pooled at the bottom of her eyes. What had she done? She didn’t want to be fighting with her mom. Especially now – when she’d made a decision that meant that soon there would be a more permanent separation from her.
Holy crap
– was that actually what she had decided?

The room started spinning, and she felt an overpowering need to lie back down, though by the time she actually thought about it, her head was already on the pillow, and William was climbing onto the bed beside her.

“You look a little green,” he said softly, easing her head onto his chest. “Did I take that thing out too soon? Are you going to throw up?”

She shook her head – she was pretty sure she wasn’t. The tears weren’t nearly as cooperative as her stomach, though, and despite her best efforts to hold them in, she could feel William’s shirt getting damp underneath her cheeks.

“I’ll get Mia to have some breakfast brought up in a little while,” Thomas said. His voice came from over by the door. “We’ll give you two some time, though.”

She was relieved when the door clicked shut, and she was alone again with William.

“I’m s – orry,” she choked, as the tears came in a flood now.

“Shh ... love.” He held her tighter. “I’m right here.”

They lay there like that for several minutes, until Quinn’s tears finally subsided, and she pulled herself back up again, yanking a handkerchief out of the drawer of her bedside table and wiping furiously at her eyes with it.

William sat up beside her, rubbing her back as he waited silently for her to finish. She took a couple of deep, shaky breaths, and then turned to look at him.

“I can’t keep doing this,” she finally said.

“What?” He wrinkled his brow, looking concerned.

“Freaking out. Crying over everything. It’s stupid. I’m the one who made this decision. I have to figure out how to deal with it.”

“Love, it’s been a really challenging couple of days. You’re allowed the occasional freak-out, you know.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it makes me look like a real heir to the throne – crying because I had a fight with my mom.”

He chuckled quietly, which for some odd reason calmed her a bit, rather than piquing her even more. “You’re still human, Quinn. Kings and queens cry too, you know. My father one night when Thomas first came home after... You were just kidnapped and injured, and now your family has shown up unexpectedly, and they could have been hurt, too – I think a little upset is allowed. It’s not like you were fighting with your mom over not getting home on time.”

She closed her eyes and sighed. “No... I’m fighting with her over not going home at all.” The lump was back in her throat, but she was
not
going to lose it again. She just wasn’t.

William’s arms closed around hers, and he pulled her closer so that her forehead was resting against his. “Yes, you are. And that isn’t easy. Be patient with yourself, love. Let’s take this one step at a time, okay?”

After a long pause, she nodded, pulling back a little to brace herself for his reaction to her next sentence. “We can’t tell my mom about us yet, okay? I’m not ready for that.”

His answering smile was gentler than she’d feared. “Well, I think she knows we’re courting. But as for the rest of it – I think maybe we need to take some time for the two of us to get used to it ourselves before we bring the rest of the world in. Especially while you’re fighting with your mom. I would like for our betrothal to be a happy thing.”

“I’m not sure my mom will
ever
be happy about it, Will.”

“Someday she will. Today’s not that day, though. And that’s okay.”

“So you’re really going to keep this a secret, and not tell anyone?” she asked.

“Well...” pink flooded his cheeks.

“You already said something to Thomas, didn’t you?”

“I might have let it slip that I asked you. He won’t tell anyone, though.”

She sighed. “You know that means I’ll have to tell Linnea.”

He kissed her on the nose. “She would have gotten it out of you anyway.”