Blown Away (Rogues Shifter Series Book 4) (25 page)

I had to tap into t
he lines to see the vamped-up action. Sasha struck first with a blow to the stomach which Garrett was able to avoid by twisting to the left and then countered with a blow that only grazed Sash’s shoulder. Sasha smiled and responded by quickly rocking forward to slam the staff into Garrett’s upper thigh. Garrett hissed in pain as he moved back to switch his stance, then jabbed forward faster than I could see to hit Sasha in the center of his chest.

Sasha grunted and then jumped up and twisted in the air like a master martial artist to whack Garrett across the back, making a sound that carried across the yard and bringing Garrett to his knees. He was only there for a split second before he was springing up and out of the way of Sasha’s next swipe with the staff. Garrett countered with a strong whack across Sasha’s knees whic
h had him grimacing.

In another amazing move where both of them jumped and turned effortlessly in the air, their staffs cl
anged together as they landed on the ground then pushed against the other’s incredible strength. However, neither of them were able to force the other one down or even back. They broke apart laughing at their efforts and losing some of their ferocity in the process.

The fight continued for another fifteen minutes, both of them getting in a few good hits and taking a few as well. Sasha was definitely the more experienced fighter, but Garrett never let down his guard and was able to come up
with a few unexpected attacks.

Sasha wiped his chin, which was bleeding from the latest hit Garrett had managed to score and laughed. “I think we should call it a draw. Garrett nodded and winced when he looked at his oddly angled wrist. I watched him give it a short pull to realign the bones so it would heal correctly.
Eww
.  Sasha added, “If you were using the lines I wouldn’t have lasted two minutes.”

“You were holding back.” Sasha shook his head but Garrett arched an eyebrow
, a gesture to say he knew the truth. Sash just shrugged.

“You’re going to be a dad, old man. I can’t knock the shi
t out of you.” Sasha had been teasing, but I couldn't look into Garrett's eyes, afraid of what I'd see.

When Bridgett called,
Will gave me the phone so I could tell her the news myself.

“I already heard. Everyone’s talking about it here.” There was a moment of silence on the line before she asked, “How are you feeling? Ha
ve you decided what you’re gonna do? It’s gotta really suck that its Kennet’s, but maybe you shouldn't hold that against the little guy. Kennet’s niece seems cool. She stopped by to say hello to me today. In fact everyone’s been coming by to introduce themselves. I’m kind of a celebrity.”

As usual, she annoyed me and made me smile at the same time. “I’m doing ok
ay, Bridgett. Garrett and I need to talk. We haven’t really had a chance to sit down alone. I’ll let you know as soon as we figure something out.”

“Lady D sa
id that you can call me anytime—since you’ll need sisterly advice—and we both know how good I am at that stuff.” We laughed and I managed to choke out a goodnight and hand the phone over to William again.

That night, when Garrett and I lay together in our bed, I took his slender hand and moved it under my shirt to rest on my bare belly, which actually did seem a little bit rounder. He pulled away with a sudden jerk, so I sat up quickly,
terrified that he didn’t want to touch me with Kennet’s child inside of me.

He shook his
head. “I can’t. I can’t bond with the child, if you’re going to decide to…”

“To h
ave an abortion? Would that be a mistake?” I was confused and afraid and I almost wanted someone just to tell me what to do. Only...I’d regret it later on if it hadn't been my decision.  "Are you angry with me?"

When he saw my expression, he pulled
me closer. “I’m so sorry, you know I don’t mean it that way.” He kissed my head then reached for my hand. “You’ll do what you have to do and I’ll love you forever no matter what. Try to understand. If I formed an attachment, the loss would be too painful.”

I noticed something in his eyes for the first time and practically slapped myself for being so thickheaded and selfish. Through all of this, I’d never asked him what he wanted. “Please tell me ho
nestly what you want me to do.”

His face became a blank slate so he wouldn’t give away his feelings, which I realized he'd managed to mask expertly since we'd found out about the baby. “I won’t. You have to decide…”

Our emotional connection kicked in and I found myself trembling from the intensity of his deep yearning. “Garrett,” I interrupted, “You want this child don’t you? You want to be a father.” I remembered seeing him look at other children with great fondness. I’d seen him standing often in front of his family portrait, looking at it with longing, not just because of his great loss, but also because he’d never have a family like the one he’d been a part of. All these years and he’d never raised his own family. Eleanor had stolen his chance to have children.

“Why haven’t you ever had children? I mean
, when you were a shifter, before Eleanor turned you. You were a cheetah for over a hundred years.”

He looked at me sadly, his eyes dark with emotions long hidden. “I should have told you earlier, but it always seems like we’re in the middle of some crisis and I never get around to telling you all the things I want to say. I had a lover, her name was C
aroline, and I had two daughters with her.”

I bit my lip, then looked down at our hands clasped together. “I thought you said you never had another mate.” I wasn’t jealous, he just never lied to me ab
out anything, so I was curious.

When I looked up again he was staring out the window, thinking back to long ago. “Caroline already had a mate when we became involved. It was an arranged marriage and she was miserable. She begged me to run off with her, but I wouldn’t leave my parents and my sister. Our world was dangerous and I felt it was my responsibility to help protect my family.
I failed miserably in the end.”

“That was Eleanor’s doing. It was never you
r fault. Tell me about Caroline, please.”

“I was wrong to be with her but I was foolish.” He turned to me, unsure as to what he should say. True to his nature,
he was honest. “I loved her and if she’d been unmated I would have claimed her and gone through the ritual. The pregnancies were accidents. Birth control was rather primitive in those days.

“We were
discreet. Her mate thought that the children were his and she—" he took a deep breath, "—she didn’t tell him that they weren’t. She never allowed me anywhere near them because she was afraid he'd find out the truth. They looked just like her. I used to stand behind the trees and watch them play.” He looked devastated. “They died tragically in a fire: Caroline, her mate, and our two young children. After that, I never wanted a permanent bond with another woman. I felt I couldn’t survive another loss like that. Aaron was the only one in my family who knew about Caroline and my children.”

He drew me into his arms to kiss me deeply, putting all of his love into the delicious meeting of our mouths. When we pulled apart he said, “My love, you must know that I never felt toward Caroline what I feel toward you. I loved her and I would have gone through the ritual with her because of the children, but she would never have been my true life mate as you are.”

I stroked his cheek gently and smiled at him, relieved that I’d finally made a definite decision. “I’m glad that you told me about Caroline and your daughters. I’m so sorry that you lost them in such a horrible way. You would have been a wonderful father if she’d allowed it.”

He turned away so I wouldn’t see his face.
“Jackie, the decision is yours. If anyone pressures you, you may have regrets later on. I only want you to be happy.”

“Hey,” I wrenched his face around so he had to look at me. “You make me happier than I deserve to be. I figured that if I chose to raise him, you’d
make the sacrifice for me. I couldn’t imagine that you could ever love Kennet’s child. But you already do, don’t you?”  My voice was barely a whisper.

“He’s yours. Being a father to your child would be a
great joy, not a sacrifice." He kissed my palm and then squeezed my hand. "Jacqueline, you can’t do it just for me. You have to be able to love him, unconditionally. He’s an innocent child and he doesn’t deserve less. He isn’t responsible for what his father did.”

His eyes were wide with longing. Oh my god, what had I been thinking? Preoccupied with my pain and my anger, I’d almost destroyed one of his dreams. All the shit he’d been through for me and I almost…

He was watching my face, not allowing himself to hope, even a little bit, but looking into his glorious eyes, I saw directly into his heart. I reached out again for his hand and placed it on my belly. This time he didn’t move it away. His face was an open book, full of yearning and tenderness. “You can start bonding now, Daddy, because I plan to raise him with you. He’s not growing up with Aedus or Liam as his father. Little Garrett, Jr. is going to be raised by an amazing vampire and a sometimes boneheaded cheetah demon, heaven help the poor kid. We’ll both love him unconditionally, and we’ll be a real family together.”

He stared at his hand as it rested
above my womb and then quickly up at my face, feeling out my emotions with real hope glittering in his incredible eyes. “Tu es sûr, mon amour ?
Are you sure, my love
?”

“Oui, je suis sûr.”

He grinned as widely as he could stretch his mouth without breaking his jaw, suddenly leaning in and kissing me hard, managing to leave his hand exactly where it was, fingers splayed across my belly, as if he were afraid to break contact. When we came up for air I had to giggle at the unrestrained joy in his expression. “You are my world. But please, not Garrett, Jr.” He hesitated. “There is someone…”

I knew instantly what he wanted. “Your father, we’ll name him after your father. What was his name?”

“Charles.” (He pronounced it the French way, an ‘Sh’, instead of a ‘Ch’, like Charlemagne, the ancient emperor.)

I grinned at him. “Charlie.” (Pronounced with the American ‘Ch’, of course.)

“When he’s a boy, but as a man, Charles I think is more appropriate.”

I arched an eyebrow. “His mother can call him whatever she wants.” I was twisting my fingers through his and he lifte
d my hand to kiss each knuckle.

“She c
an,” he nodded, and then broke my heart with his joyful expression. His eyes were sparkling with a rare happiness that made him appear once more as my eternally nineteen year old mate, full of life energy, carefree and in love. I wished with all my heart that I could fill his long life with moments like this one. A tiny tear trickled down my cheek.

He kissed it away. “What did I say?”

“I just want you to be happy like this all the time.”

“Bu
t I am, whenever we’re together, don’t you know?”

“When
I'm not doing something to worry you, or we're not fighting other supes." I had an idea."Could we go away somewhere for just a few days? We’d be like a real couple on vacation.”

“A
real couple. What are we now?" He looked a tiny bit sad.

“Most of the time I feel like I’m playing the part of some superhero
. Everyone has such high expectations, including me. But underneath, is this ordinary woman who just wants to be part of an ordinary mated pair once in a while.”

“Do y
ou feel that way right now? Like an unwilling superhero?” Garrett moved his hands down my bare arms, taking my hands gently in his.

I shook my head and smiled. “No. Tonight I’m that very happy ordinary woman in love with her incredible man, apparently soon to have his son.”

He lowered his eyes and lifted the hem of my shirt so that he could brush his hand over my belly where Charlie was currently making himself at home. Garrett smiled as he gently pushed me down on the bed, leaned over to kiss my mouth and then moved down to kiss my belly and whisper to the baby in French. “Votre père et mère vous aiment, Charles.
Your mother and father love you, Charles
.” We laughed when we felt the baby move, positive now that the churning hadn’t been indigestion after all. I giggled as Garrett blazed a trail of kisses up my body to linger at my mouth.

I pushed him away and cupped his face in my two hands. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything.” He was glowing with unrestrained happiness and I could have asked him for the moon and he would have defied gravity to get it for me.

I tried to look stern, but he only laughed. “Swear that you will always tell me how you honestly feel. Don’t try to protect my feelings, especially when the decision is such an important one. You blocked me out. This was a decision to make together. I know that you do it out of love, but think about how I would have felt if I found out later when it was too late. You know better than anyone that you can’t pressure me into doing something I don’t want to do."

“I promise, my angel. Je vous demande pardon.
I beg your forgiveness
.” He held my hand over his long silent heart and I smiled, understanding that although it no longer beat, it was still full of love.