Blown Away (Rogues Shifter Series Book 4) (6 page)

I must have looked s
tricken, because Isaiah huffed in irritation. "What did you expect? We are creatures of chaos and have long been enemies of the seelie fae. The archdemon is not tolerant. If you fail to live up to your agreement, the consequences will be grim."

He touched my shoulder so I'd look at him. Surprisingly, Samson didn't object.

"When I'm finished with Kennet, I will come to you. There is much you can learn that will protect you, even from her. Use the lines to go home." He was gone, leaving me feeling shaken and more confused than ever. I hugged Samson and then took us home.

When I materialized on the patio I was faced with two extremely angry males. Samson wagged his tail and ran over to Liam, but Garrett and I had locked eyes and minds and it wasn't pretty.

"What-were-you-thinking—or was your brain involved at all?"

"I wasn't in any danger."

"You should have woken me. Or gotten Liam. You acted irrationally."
He started to pace, our gazes still linked.

"They told me I couldn't even leave a note."
The note they'd sent me had dissolved after I'd read it.
"I only had five minutes to decide. How do you even know where I went?"

"There was a distinctive odor i
n the kitchen and on the patio."
He ran his hand roughly through his hair. "
What could have possibly urged you, against all common sense, to go to the DEMON REALM—ALONE?"
Somehow, he'd managed to yell using only mind speech.

"To speak to my grandmother and learn about my parents."
Now I knew my mother's name and where she was buried, and that my father was alive...

Liam spoke out loud, his tone concerne
d. "Jacqueline, I have to ask. What did they want? What did you tell them?"

"My grandmother asked me what spell I used to enter Faerie and I told her that I would never give her any information about the fae. She told me she'd see me again so
on, but I won't be going back, that's for sure." He looked relieved. "You know I would never..."

"Of course. I just needed to ask officially." I nodded. We both looked at Garrett's tightly drawn face and I felt myself wince. "I'll leave you two to sort this out." Liam beamed into the lines.

" C
oward,"
I sent after him
.

Garrett took hold of my upper arms so I'd have to look him in the eye. I'd never seen him so upset. "I don't understand. Why d
id you put yourself in danger—
again
?"

"She told me about my mother
and father. He's still alive. I can..."

He interrupted loudly, wrapped up in his own anger.
"How could you disappear like this? Do this to me—after what I went through the last time? This was reckless. I thought you'd matured..." Ice cold fingers tightened on my arms as silver popped in his eyes.

"I've been searching for information about them. You know I have. Please don't be upset."

"I'm not
upset
. I'm furious that you'd throw away your life and everything we have together for information about people you've never even met." He let go of me roughly and stalked back into the kitchen. I followed him, trembling just a little, not from fear that he'd hurt me, but from my own anger, which was rearing its ugly head.

"Garrett, I'm
sorry that you're so angry, but it never occurred to me that you wouldn't be supportive in my efforts to find out as much as I can about my parents. You've known all along how important this is to me."

"Jackie, it's one thing to do research on the internet or contact a private detective
, but you went to the fucking—Demon—Realm. You were completely vulnerable. It was a hundred times more dangerous for you there than with Kennet."

Garrett practically never cursed: another sure sign that he was livid. "Isaiah swore in the note that I'd be safe for the hour I was there."

"Demons lie."

"I took Samson."

"The one
intelligent
thing you did."

Now I was just as pissed as he was. The
volume of my voice rose. Samson flattened his ears against his head and whined. "I-can-handle-myself."

"Like you did with Kennet?" I could see that he regretted his comment the moment it left his mouth, but it was too late. It hurt.

"Nice one, Garrett." I glowered at him. "In case it slipped your mind, I did handle Kennet. His ass is burning in the Demon Realm right now." As we glared at each other, I tried to get him to see reason. "Look, I just fought beside you at Nathaniel's and you had no problem with that."

"Beside
you. Two key words."

"Oh, so I need a constant babysitter, now? Are you going to stop me when I go alone to meet my father, the sorcerer."

He looked at me straight on. "I'll be going with you when you decide to meet with your father."

"I see. You don't trust my judgment or my abilities. We had a full partnership and now it's become a half-assed dictatorship." We were both breathing hard in anger." I think maybe you should go out to feed from one of your sweet little obedient donors." I turned away from him. "I can't fight with you now. I'm afraid of what I might say. We both need a break."

He barely whispered his reply. "I agree, but this conversation is not over." He left at vamp speed through the open sliding glass doors.

I sat down at the kitchen table, still trembling with anger and frustration. Why is he insisting on treating me like a child? I'm his lifemate. I've killed a master vampire in a duel. I've escaped the prison of a fae lord. I've even helped rescue Garrett from werewolves and a blood witch.  Why does he think I'm incapable of looking out for myself?

My anger turned to tears of frustration, so I got up and ran to my room. I locked my door and took a long soak in the bath tub, hoping to melt away my surface tension so I could see past my anger to the root of the fight.

My mind tried to puzzle it all out. Garrett has always been protective of me; from the day he first gave me blood to save my life after a brutal attack by thugs,
to this afternoon's argument. He's been the life preserver that keeps me safely afloat as well as the anchor that prevents me from actually drifting away into the chaos. Logically, I should expect a strong reaction, but he'd never been this angry with me before, so what was different about today?

I thought about his expression and the strong emotions rolling off of him when I'd first gotten back. I saw fear, then relief, then anger. The Demon Realm is a dimension where he can't follow, unlike Faerie or the woods where Kennet had kept me hidden. Garrett was a male used to
feeling in control. My little excursion had left him frustrated and feeling powerless to help me if anything went wrong. Not an ideal situation when his master-vampire adrenaline kicked in. Even so, I was gone for less than an hour. I wiped another tear off of my cheek with the back of my hand.

I
dried off, dressed and then sat at my computer trying to get my mind off of the argument, which was still making me achy and depressed.

There was a knock on the door, followed by a sweet cherry scent. "What do you want, Sasha?"

"I've brought you a sandwich."

"Garrett's orders?"

"Suggestion." I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Come in, but I'm not really hungry." He set the plate and the coke on my desk next to my laptop. "Where is he? Is he back?"

"He's back, but he's giving you the privacy you desire, letting you stew and sulk for awhile." My eyes widened. "My words not his."

I twisted my mouth into a frown, sure that he wasn't only here to give me food. "I suppose you heard the argument."

"The out-loud part."

"And I'm sure you agree with Garrett."

"It's none of my business." He shrugged but didn't take his eyes off of mine. I felt suddenly self-conscious because it was easy to see that I'd been crying.

"You're right. It's none of your business." I crossed my arms stubbornly, pretending to exude an air of confidence that wasn't genuine.

His mouth twitched as he held back a smile. "Could I explain something to you about your mate?"

"
I know Garrett as well as you."

"I've known him for over a hundred years. I saw his family die. I was there when he was made,
when he was tortured. I was..."

"Fine, go ahead." I scowled and indicated that he should sit. T
his was going to suck and I was probably going to end up feeling really guilty.

"Now,
you
are his family, his entire world. By going to a dangerous place where he couldn't take any action to help you if you needed him, you put him back in his cage at Eleanor's, helpless to save his father, mother or sister. I know that this was never your intention, and I don't tell you this to make you feel guilty." He smiled at me. "Well, not terribly guilty." I frowned back.

"A small part of Garrett still lives in that cage. It's much less
obvious since he's met you. He tells us he's happier now with you than he's ever been before, and we can see it for ourselves. I just don't want to see him back in that dungeon, reliving those moments all over again. When you were taken by Kennet, he held himself together with an enormous effort. It helped that he could be out actively searching for you. Today, he could do nothing but wait and hope."

He wanted to say more, probably that if my grandmother had decided to keep me there, my careless, impulsive act could have broken Garrett. I sighed as another tear ran down my face. "Where is he?"

"His office." He turned to leave.

"Thanks, Sash."

"Mistress." He closed the door behind him. I couldn't get him to stop calling me that no matter how hard I tried.

I thought about changing out of my pajamas, but what was the point? He was angry and he needed to get it out, so the sooner that happened the better. I left my bedroom and knocked on his office door. He opened the door himself almost instantly and stared at
me, looking only concerned and not angry at all. I really didn't deserve him.

I nudged him back inside the room, closed the door behind me with a kick and then led him over to his chair, pushing him down. I could tell he was surprised when I curled my body into his lap, but I also felt him relax in relief. As he wrapped his arms around me, putting his chin on the top of my head, I sighed and said, "Ok
ay, go ahead and yell at me. I deserve it. Just get it all out."

H
e didn't yell. He spoke so softly, and with such deep feeling, that it practically broke my heart. "I trust your judgment, my love, but I can't let you walk into such a dangerous situation without me at your side. I'm not capable of allowing you that freedom. That will never change between us. You'll somehow need to accept this quirk of mine that angers you so."

I sat quietly for a few moments just breathing him in. "I want you beside me every moment of every night and day. I just need you to think of me as an equal partner. I treasure those moments when I feel your respect as well as your love."

He kissed the top of my head. "But that's every day. You must know that I value your opinion by the number of times I defer to your judgment. And I don't do it simply to humor you, love." He squeezed me a little tighter. "It's only in these extreme circumstances that I can't compromise."

I looked into those gorgeous sapp
hire blue eyes and apologized. "I'm sorry that I frightened you. I won't willingly go back to the Demon Realm. And by not discussing the invitation with you, I didn't treat you as a partner either."

"You're my equal in all things, mais Je suis
désol
é
aussi.
But I'm also sorry
. I should never have made that comment about Kennet. I hurt you. Please forgive me."

I blew out an aggravated breath. "This was our first real argument." I ran my hand back and forth across his chest, as much to comfort myself as him. "I feel like an ugly black hole just took up residence in my heart."

"This is normal between mates. My parents fought often, but they always ended the evening in each other's arms." He gently kissed my forehead.

"What did they argue about?"

"The usual things, but mostly their differing parenting philosophies. My mother felt that my father was raising us too wild. He taught Marie and me to fight and to use weapons, always aware of the dangers that a shifter faced, even in our remote part of Quebec and later, Louisiana. My mother wanted us to study medicine to help the shifters and even the humans who suffered in our rural communities.

"
I was determined to become a soldier as a younger adult. Later, I studied medicine and science for a time to appease her, but I was never a healer. Eventually I found I had more interest in history, particularly relating to war. I guess I never quite gave up my idea of becoming a soldier."

"You're the team's general." I saluted and we laughed softly together.