Blue Christmas (The Moody Blue Trilogy | Book One) (23 page)

She was grateful he was sitting behind her. He couldn’t see the tears
streaming down her cheeks. When the breeze blew, she thought her tears would
freeze before they fell from her face. She pressed her eyes shut.

“And that’s why I know there’s something very special about us—you and me—together.
I know it’s only been a few short days and I know you’re gonna think I’m crazy,
but—”

She turned around to face him, reaching her fingers to press against his
lips. Her chin trembled as she looked into his eyes, searching for meaning.
“Jason, don’t. Please don’t.”

He took her face in his hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. “I
have to say this, Hannah. I have to say it now. Today.”

She shook her head. “No, Jason.
Please.
” She tore her eyes away
from him, looking down instead at the silver cross that hung on a chain against
his sweatshirt. She fingered it, her thoughts pricking her mind like so many
icicles.

“Hannah, you’re making this really difficult for me,” he said, a hint of
irritation in his tone. “Why won’t you let me say what I want to say to you?”

“Because I’m so scared! Don’t you see?” She looked into his eyes, needing
to make him understand. “Every single moment I’ve had with you has been a gift
to me. I never dreamed—
never dreamed
anything could be so wonderful. And
from the moment I realized that
you
were the son of this kind woman who
invited me to her home on Christmas Eve, well, I’ve never known such complete
happiness and joy in my entire life.” She looked back down at his cross.
God,
give me the words. Help me.

“But over and over and over I’ve told myself—that’s all this is. It’s
just a dream. A fairy tale come true. And just like Cinderella, there’s going
to come a time when the clock strikes midnight and I have to wake up from this . . .
amazing
dream.”

She laughed, her lips trembling. “And it
has
been an amazing dream
for me. You’ve been incredible. I never imagined I could know you like
this—like a regular person. I mean, there are actually times I have to remind
myself who you are. Because the one I’ve fallen in love with isn’t a celebrity.
He’s just Jason. I’ve never known anything like this. I’ve never felt so . . .”
Her voiced failed her. Only a whisper. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I—”

“Then why won’t you let me finish saying what I have to say? Why won’t
you hear me out?”

A sob escaped from her throat and she turned her back against him.
“Because I know that you’re caught up in the emotion of this week and that
you’re not thinking clearly. I mean, how could you? With what’s happened with Jackson
and—”

“Shhhh . . . stop, Hannah. You can’t tell me what I’m
thinking. You don’t
know
what I’m thinking. You can’t know what I’m
feeling right now. This isn’t some irrational idea that popped into my head
while we drove through the Krispy Kreme! Give me a little credit, okay? I’ve
thought about it a lot.”

He turned her around with such force she was afraid she would fall off
the table. “Hannah, look at me. This is
real.
It’s the real thing. I
know
it is. It’s right for me and it’s right for you. You know it too, don’t you?
Tell me because I
know
you do.”

She squeezed her eyes, fighting the grip of fear inside her. “I can’t,
Jason. I can’t. It’s too soon! This is all too fast for me.”

“You know you love me, Hannah. You
know
this is right. I have to
hear you say it.”

She blinked her eyes, wiping them with her hands. She tried to speak and
couldn’t. She tried again. “Jason, I—”

“JASON!”

They jumped at the intrusion of George’s urgent beckoning. They both
looked across the grounds at him standing outside the car, then back at each
other. “What is it, George?” Jason shouted.

“Your dad just called. He said to get back to the hospital as fast as you
can.”

In less than thirty seconds, they slammed the door to the limo as George floored
the gas. Gravel spattered against the underside of the long vehicle as it turned
a hundred and eighty degree circle and tore out of the city park.

Ten minutes later, as the limousine flew into the hospital complex, they
were shocked by the size of the crowds huddled everywhere. “George, what are we
gonna do?” Jason asked, their secret entrance blocked by too many people.

“I can try to find another alley but we’ll lose time. I think your best
shot is to bust through at the main entrance. Looks like plenty of cops—they’ll
get you through. Your dad said they’re expecting you.”

“Let’s do it,” he yelled, throwing open the door as the limo slowed under
the porte-cochere at the main entrance. He grabbed her hand and looked her
straight in the eye. “Stay right with me, Hannah. No matter what happens, don’t
leave my side. I won’t let go of your hand but the crowds can get pretty rough.
Hold on tight, okay? Are you ready?”

The roar of the screaming crowd obliterated her answer as he pulled her
swiftly from the car. Hundreds of voices screamed his name until she thought
her eardrums would burst. True to his word, his hand gripped hers like a vise.
Thankfully, the police formed a barricade that allowed them to slip through the
mass without bodily harm. An occasional hand reached for them but the police
did their job well.

They ran into the building, an entourage of policemen surrounding them.
Still, they were surprised to find themselves blinded by the flashing cameras
of the press who had somehow eluded security and snuck into the building.

“Jason! I can’t see!”

She heard his voice answer her. “Don’t look up! Keep your face down and
hold onto my hand!”

As the press yelled one question after another and pressed in closer and
closer, the policemen fought back. Hannah wondered how in the world Jason and
the other guys survived living with this day in and day out. Finally, they were
out of the fray as the elevator doors shut, wiping out the voices and the
flashing lights.

“Are you okay?” Jason asked, pulling her against him. She looked up at
him, his face wild with fear at what they might be about to discover.

“Yeah, I’m all right.”

The doors opened to another pandemonium, this time with more familiar
faces. Their agents, their families, their close friends, members of the
band—they were all there at once. Laura appeared out of nowhere. The expression
on her face frightened both of them.

“Mom! What is it? What’s happened?”

She pulled them away from the elevator, hoping for some privacy. Everyone
seemed to be talking at once, trying to get close to them. “Mom! Answer me! Is Jackson
okay? Is he . . .?”

She drew them into a huddle, shutting out the others surrounding them.
“He’s okay, Jason. He’s okay. He’s still in a coma, but he’s still alive. But
we almost lost him, honey. He stopped breathing—it was horrible. Just
horrible,” Laura continued, her eyes filling. “Poor Alli was there all alone
with him when it happened. The trauma team practically trampled her trying to
save him—”

“Is Alli all right?” Hannah interrupted.

“Yes, honey, she’s fine. She fainted in the middle of it all. Who
wouldn’t, for heaven’s sake? But she came around and she’s resting now. She
insisted on seeing for herself that he was all right, then they sedated her a
little bit. The poor thing hasn’t slept since all this started.”

Laura turned abruptly to look Jason straight in the eye. “But son,
there’s something else. I need to tell you—
both
of you. Hannah, this is
going to be a little awkward for you, but—”

“JASON! Oh Jason!”

And just like one of those strange movie scenes, Hannah’s world slipped
into slow motion. She turned her head toward the urgent voice calling out to
Jason. She was tall and blonde and beyond description. The perfect cover girl.

“Jennifer! What are you—”

And then she was there, her arms around his neck, hugging him and crying
out his name. Hannah felt Laura’s arm on her shoulder. Hannah could see Laura’s
lips moving, speaking to her, but her voice sounded far away, tunneled somehow.

Hannah looked back toward Jason and Jennifer. Pieces of their
conversation drifted in and out of her hearing. “I came as soon as I heard . . .
I tried to reach you . . . oh, Jason, I’ve missed you so much . . .”

Hannah tasted the bile in her throat. This couldn’t be happening. Not
now. Not after everything else. Not
Jennifer.
Hannah tried to tear her
eyes away, to avoid the pain. But she couldn’t help it. Jennifer was stunning. Flawless.
And far more gorgeous than any of the pictures Hannah had seen in the magazines
years ago. As she clung to Jason, they looked so natural, so perfect together.

The cobwebs . . . circling around and around her,
obstructing her view. Choking her just like in the horrible nightmare.

Hannah couldn’t breathe.

Jennifer’s voice drifted toward her again. “I knew I had to come. I had
to be with you right now. I couldn’t bear watching the reports on television
and not being here for you.”

People pressed all around them. Everyone knew Jennifer. Of course they
would want to speak to her—Gevin, Marissa, JT, Tracey, Sergio. Others wanted to
tell Jason what had happened to Jackson. The bodies pressed in on them,
separating Hannah from Jason, inadvertently pushing her farther and farther
away. Even Laura had been pulled away from her.

She looked up trying to see his face, hoping to find him looking for her.
She stood on her toes. She could just make out the back of his head. And then
he turned around. He was looking for her!

Jason?” she called out. Her voice was useless. She cried out again.
“Jason . . .”

He heard her voice, so frightened. So far from him. He craned his neck
looking for her. How had they gotten separated? He couldn’t imagine what she
must be feeling. Not after the park. Not after the words they’d shared. The
words he’d
tried
to share.

And then their eyes met. She looked at him with so much pain and
confusion, he couldn’t bear it. She mouthed his name and he could almost feel
the ache of her heart.

A tall and bulky bodyguard stepped in front of him, breaking their view
of each other. Jason looked around him, straining to see her. Suddenly the man
moved out of the way.

She was gone.

Chapter 17

“
T
hat’ll be $64.93, ma’am. You can
run your card through the slot there when you’re ready.”

Hannah went through the motions. Customers in. Customers out. She
couldn’t remember a single face of any of them after working for three straight
hours. She finished bagging the groceries and turned off the light over her
register, already twenty minutes late for her break.

“Well, look
what the cat dragged in!”

Kylie.

“Although I’m too mad to even speak to you, let alone
care
where
you’ve been for the last week.”

As Hannah walked into the tiny break room, the sound of her best friend’s
voice chilled her. She didn’t blame her for being mad. Hannah had never
returned any of her calls or text messages. It wasn’t intentional. It was all
just too complicated.

“Kylie, I’m so sorry. I meant to call—”

“Yeah, like I said. Save it for someone who cares.” Still, despite the
sarcasm, Kylie quirked one of her forgiving smiles and gave her a long, hard
hug. She pulled back to look into Hannah’s face. “What’s going on? Why the
mysterious disappearing act, huh?”

Hannah avoided her friend’s intense stare. She could never hide anything
from Kylie. Ever. But right now, she couldn’t bear to talk about the last ten
days.

Since slipping out of the hospital after the spectacle with Jennifer’s
sudden arrival, Hannah had begged George to take her home. She felt like a robot
going through the motions, nothing more. She took a long hot shower, letting
the scalding water wash over her for almost thirty minutes until it began to
run cold. Hoping the water had rinsed away her tears at last, she crawled into
bed only to be overwhelmed by a new, fresh wave of emotion.