Blue Clouds (36 page)

Pippa sighed and finally turned her face up so their eyes met. The tears glistening against dark lashes seared through him, but the desire he saw there scorched him to his soul.

“Then I want him locked up for the rest of his damned life. He could have killed you.”

The bomb could have killed her, but she didn't even take note of that fact. Her concern for him wormed another little hole in his shell. He took care of others, not the other way around. He didn't like her worrying about him. But he couldn't resist her concern either.

Cautiously, Seth brushed his mouth across Pippa's. He thought he might die and go to hell if she refused him. Pippa's was the one rejection he didn't think he could live with. He didn't know why her kiss was so important to him, and he didn't want to analyze it. He just held his breath until her hands slid around his shoulders.

She opened for him eagerly, capturing him with the hot moisture of her welcome, and joy shot through him. He sank deeper, drowning in sensations he had only dreamed about, could only summon in his imagination.

He hauled her closer, pushing deeper, seeking taste and touch, absorbing the mint and coffee of her breath with the rough tactile brush of tongue against teeth, striving for something just beyond these physical experiences, something he'd never had and had always wanted, something she could offer and he didn't know if he deserved, but he wanted anyway. Needed. Desperately.

“Not like this again,” he murmured in a moment of self- realization, nibbling at her ear because he couldn't let her go, but escaping the whirlpool of her kiss before they both drowned. “Not like this. I didn't come prepared. And I want you all night. I want you in my bed come morning. I don't want any more mistakes or recriminations or guilty morning afters. I want to do it right this time.”

She tensed against him, and Seth reached down to brush her breast, to stroke it, to force her to acknowledge what was happening between them. Despite his words, he knew it was a mistake, but she muddied his thinking. He couldn't remember why it was a mistake. He just knew it felt right and that it had to be.

“Just sex,” she responded breathlessly, really shocking the hell out of him this time. “Just sex. No commitments. No ties that bind. No tags and labels.”

“Yeah, just sex,” he said roughly, capturing her mouth and sealing the agreement, even as he realized he'd just been cheated. He didn't know of what or even how, but he could feel it deep inside of him as she circled his neck with her arms and pulled his head down to hers. He could sense the emptiness of the gesture, the despair behind it, but he was too far gone to examine anything more than the soft woman's body molding into his.

He'd think about it in the morning. For right now, she was his. He'd put an end to his terminal case of lust and think more clearly when it was over.

Silently, he swept her up in his arms and carried her out of the room. He needed to be close to Chad in case he cried out in the night.

Pippa curled up against his chest without a protest.

Why did he feel as if he were carrying a wounded child?

Seth set her on her feet the instant they crossed the threshold to his suite. The long graceful fingers Pippa had admired racing across a keyboard and stroking a child's forehead fastened on the buttons of her dress and opened them without fumbling. She couldn't believe this was real, that she hadn't fallen into a dreamlike state and imagined this was happening. The snap of her bra released that fantasy. Seth's heated palms pushed gently against her, and his lips brushed hers, reawakening sensations he'd aroused earlier.

That first time, he'd taken her roughly, hastily, with the insane lust of relief and alcohol and starvation that had swept them both away. It had been revelatory, magnificent, beyond anything she could have dreamed of, and purely temporary, she was certain.

She wasn't so certain now. The kiss he held her with this time was gentle, seeking, inspiring cravings she'd locked away long ago. Lust, she understood. Men liked sex. In exchange for satiating their hungers, they occasionally gave her the affectionate hugs and kisses she wanted. But this was different. Seth was different. He was turning the whole scenario upside down. He sought her kisses, not the other way around. He touched and stroked instead of grabbing. In his own complicated way, he was offering her the chance to take what she wanted instead of vice versa. Offering, not demanding.

Shaken, she didn't know how to react. She didn't know how to tell him what she wanted. She'd never talked about it before, had never had the opportunity to explore. She just wanted to cling and let him do as he would. But he wasn't. He was waiting, adding fuel to the flames, but waiting.

Pippa caught Seth's hands and pressed them to her breasts, looking up at him pleadingly. He smiled, that devastating dark smile that swirled around in her insides and drove spikes of need through her middle.

“You have the most beautiful breasts,” he whispered. “As soft and touchable as a child's toy. Do I hurt you when I do this?”

He squeezed gently, then brushed his thumbs across the crests, driving her into a frenzy.

“No,” she breathed. “It doesn't hurt. Please...”

She couldn't express the need in words, but he understood anyway. He bent his head and took one nipple into his mouth.

She was his after that. He could have patted her between his palms and molded her into any shape he liked. Instead, he stripped her of dress and bra and ran his hands up and down her sides, finally catching his fingers in the elastic of her panties and pulling them loose to puddle at her feet. He stood back to admire her nakedness, touched the aroused peak of her breast reverently, then abruptly jerked his shirt over his head.

He had a magnificent chest, but then, she already knew that. Broad, muscled, with a light mat of dark hairs curling into the valley spearing down to his belt buckle. His nipples were as aroused as hers, and thrilled, she stroked them. Empowered by his quick intake of breath, she leaned over and kissed him there.

“Pippa,” he said warningly, but she didn't heed him. She licked the tautened crest, then nipped lightly.

He grabbed her waist and crushed her against him, nibbling her neck until she shivered, before claiming her mouth again. She hadn't even known her neck was an erogenous zone, but her body hummed like strummed harp strings.

“The bedroom,” he muttered against her mouth. “I bought condoms.”

She should have felt hideous shame at such prosaic words. But the knowledge that he'd gone out and sought protection just for her mixed with the terrifying realization that they hadn't considered it before. They must have been very drunk that night.

They weren't drunk tonight. They had no excuses for what they were about to do now. She'd never had sex without considering it part of the commitment process. She knew this was no such thing. This was just a release of tensions, a rush of hormones, a result of the ozone in California air. A fantasy fling, as Meg called it. A fantasy fling to end all flings. She knew she would never experience the like again.

So she threw herself into it wildly.

They fell across his bed, flesh against flesh, Seth's greater weight crushing her into the well-sprung mattress. His trousered hips rode between her bare legs, and she could feel the steel of him even through the twill.

Seth caught her nipple between his teeth again, and Pippa quit thinking about anything at all. She let sensation swamp her and swirl her fears away. He returned his mouth to hers again, thrusting inside, taking and asking at the same time.

She wasn't ready yet. The tide of desire sucked her under, whirling her around faster until she would do almost anything he asked, but some tiny rebellious spark inside wasn't ready to go down for the count. She didn't feel any of the warm soft fuzzies she'd sought with prior encounters. In some unconscious part of her mind, she knew what was happening now had nothing to do with warm soft fuzzies. But she wanted
something.

Pippa pushed at Seth's shoulders until he fell back, watching her questioningly. She didn't know how to say it. She didn't have to. Seth's eyes lit with devilment, and he rolled over, pulling her on top of him.

“Your turn,” he said roughly. “Get these damned pants off me before they cut off my circulation.”

Pippa laughed with the sheer joy of it. It didn't have to be a silent rough-and-tumble. She could have what she wanted without asking, without embarrassment, with the natural companionship that had somehow developed between them. She wouldn't question how. She would think about it later. Instead, she jerked open his belt buckle.

Together, they got his clothing off, then he pulled her up against him again, smothering her with kisses as their bare bodies adjusted to this new flood of sensation.

“All night,” he warned, nipping at her lips. “Don't you dare leave this bed until I'm ready.”

“Bossy,” she sneered, licking his lips until he caught her tongue and drank it in.

His hand slid down between them, parting her, stroking, driving her insane.

“Let me pretend anyway,” he agreed. “Just for a little while, let me pretend you're in my thrall.”

She laughed and gasped as his fingers dipped inside her. No one had ever...

She didn't finish the thought. Seth caught her hips, positioned her where he wanted her, and thrust upward.

She exploded, right there and then, without waiting, without patient stroking, without any of the artifices it had taken in the past. She exploded around him, and still shuddering, took him deeper, faster, demanding even more.

He obliged, flinging her over and driving into her until she screamed his name and his release drove them both over the precipice.

He didn't stop there. He suckled her breast until she caught his hair and dragged him upward. He kissed her senseless. He used her for every fantasy either of them might ever have had. And she let him. Couldn't have stopped him if she'd tried. Didn't want to.

They slept the sleep of the exhausted, then woke and languorously returned to favored places, making certain they had it right before exploring in new directions.

Pippa woke at dawn to the sound of Chad's Nintendo shooting through the infant monitor. Recognizing the noise for what it was, she stretched, and her foot brushed Seth's muscular leg. Naked muscular leg.

My dear lord, she whispered to herself, what had she done this time?

She didn't know, but it felt frighteningly right, like all the dreams she'd ever had of waking up at a man's side, sharing his days and nights, his hopes and dreams, as he would hers. Sheer panic tore through her as she turned her head and observed Seth's harsh features in repose. This man couldn't be that man of her dreams.

In sleep, she saw none of the grim cynicism, the knowing in his eyes or in the lines of his mouth. She just saw a relaxed man, a contented one, as he damned well ought to be after last night. He'd finally gotten everything he'd wanted out of her. Now what?

As if he could feel her stare, Seth opened his eyes cautiously. His wariness did the trick. He was as scared as she was. Pippa giggled at the thought.

A smile tugged briefly at the corner of his mouth. “What? Do I have a feather on my nose?”

“No, you just look as if you'd woken up in bed with Cruella DeVille. Your son is awake. I'd better go prepare myself for the day.” Self-conscious of her nudity now that they'd reverted to employer/employee status, she pulled the sheet around her. That didn't disguise the heat of their bodies brushing beneath the covers. Without touching him, she knew he was aroused.

“I'm sure it must be your day off,” he said with a straight face. “Let Nana handle him.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and eased her back against the pillows. “Maybe we both need a day off.”

“This probably isn't a good idea,” she whispered as Seth brushed his bristly jaw against her cheek and sought her mouth.

“Probably isn't. I've got a deadline and two tons of work.”

He kissed her anyway, a deep, soul-satisfying kiss that reduced her to putty again. No spine at all, she thought resentfully; she had no spine at all.

The sound of a wheelchair rolling across the floor from the monitor jerked them both apart.

“Shit,” Seth said mildly, pulling back the covers. “He's not supposed to be out of bed yet.”

Pippa grinned. “I don't think parents get days off. But I'm not his parent. Can I stay here?”

He shot her one of his usual dark looks, and she felt right at home again. She scrambled for the edge of the bed. “Okay, you heave him back into bed, I'll go get dressed. You'd just better be glad you didn't have twins.”

Seth caught her before she could flee across the room, nuzzling her nape with his bristly beard. Naked, she should feel cold, but flames danced along her skin.

“That's what I have you for. I'll expect you on the job in half an hour.” He tweaked her breast for good measure.

“Pig,” she muttered, shoving him away. “Greedy, greedy pig. I'll be there when I get there.”