Blue Colla Make Ya Holla (84 page)

Bianca waited for a few seconds and then under her breath mumbled,
fucking typical,
before yanking the door open and heading up the steps that he’d fixed with Tyler when he’d first come to live with her. She got to the top and realized that he still had the keys in the car. “Great.” She ran her hands through her hair as she boosted herself up on the railing to get the spare they had hidden inside the gutter.

As she climbed down, she saw that he still sat in the car. “Sleep down there for all I care,” she yelled down, not caring who could hear her. She was completely over this, and all she wanted to do was get away from him for a little while. Unlocking the door, she glanced back at him one more time. The need to flip him the finger was there—but again, that wasn’t how they did things. Instead she gave him a fake smile and a little wave.

With a satisfying slam, she shut the door to the apartment and marched to the shower. She needed to think, and the shower was the best place to do it.

‡

B
ianca stayed in
the shower until her fingers pruned and the water ran cold. Considering the water heater that fed their apartment was old, it probably wasn’t as long as it could have been, but it was long enough to give her a clearer head. As she turned the faucet off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her body, she listened for sounds that Jagger had come into the apartment and wasn’t still sitting outside in her car. Never before had they had an argument where she sent him away, but the feelings coursing through her weren’t good. The way he made her feel wasn’t good. That was a revelation, because no matter how much they hadn’t seen eye-to-eye in the past, he’d always made her feel like she was the most important thing in the world to him. That feeling was no longer in the pit of her stomach.

She opened the bathroom door slowly, looking around for the man who’d become such a fixture in her home and in her life over the past couple of years. When she didn’t see him, her heart dropped. She hadn’t expected him to take her seriously. It was stupid, she knew, but she expected him to understand she was doing this for the attention. Just like children at school who acted out—bad attention was better than none at all.

Crocodile tears fell again, and she had to hold her arms across her stomach to hold in sobs as she made her way into the bedroom.

“Please stop crying. I can’t take it.”

Her scream could probably be heard across the street, but she hadn’t expected him to be sitting on the bed. He’d scared her to death, especially when she’d been successfully wallowing in her misery. He had laid his cut on the dresser and taken off his motorcycle boots. If they weren’t in conflict with one another, it struck her just how normal this scene would be on any other given night.

“You’re the reason I’m crying,” she argued.

He took a deep breath, mentally counting to try not to lose his cool with her. As sick as she was of everything, he was just as sick of it. Only a few weeks, was that how long it took to unravel everything they’d worked so hard for? It all seemed so tenuous, and that scared the shit out of him. “What’s wrong with us?”

“You.” She pointed her finger at him. “You don’t touch me anymore, you don’t even act interested. Do I disgust you?”

“Goddamnit Bianca,” he roared, leaping up from the bed and stalking the few steps it took to stand in front of her. “Not everything is always about you. The reasons for my actions don’t always concern you.” Except this time they did, and he didn’t want to be honest, especially if she were having second thoughts about them. His plan would be shot to hell.

“At one time I was your top priority,” she yelled right back at him.

“You wanna be my top priority? Then you can be my top priority.” He advanced on her, turning her so that he was pushing her towards the bed. It had been weeks, and his body hummed with the knowledge of what he was about to do.

“Jagger,” Bianca breathed as he got all up in her space, holding her neck with his hands. She fisted his shirt into hers and pulled him closer to her. “I want this.” She closed her eyes so she didn’t have to see the anger in his. “However you wanna give it to me, I want this.” She swallowed roughly against the lump in her throat.

He would hate himself in the morning, he knew this. Hell, he would probably hate himself in a few hours, but he needed her, anyway he could get her. Gone were all the reasons he needed to keep her at arm’s length for the next few days, gone were the secrets that he couldn’t wait to tell her. In this moment, he was a man in need of his woman.

Usually he asked for permission; this time he didn’t as he reached up and untucked the towel she had secured at her chest. Her skin, still wet from the shower, glistened in the soft glow of the bedroom. Because it was almost summer and in the early evening, the sun had yet to set, and it cast an ethereal look around the room. Letting the towel drop, his eyes feasted on her body.

She stood before him unashamed, not bothering to cover her body. They had been together long enough that there was no reason for her to be embarrassed; she knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid to take it. In the bedroom, the two of them were equals. It didn’t matter what was going on outside of this room. Sliding her hands down his shirt, she gripped the waistband of his jeans, only stopping when her fingers met each other at the buckle of his belt.

“It’s yours, babe. Take it if you want it,” he told her, kissing her on the forehead before moving his hands to cup the back of her neck, pushing her head back so that he could bury his lips in the curve of her neck. Lightly, he nipped with his teeth, appreciating her deep inhale of breath every time he did so.

*

This was the
Jagger she knew and loved. Even angry he was going to give her what she asked of him. She was sick and tired of wondering if he wanted her or not. It wasn’t in her to lie back and wonder, and that’s what she had been doing for far too long.

“What are you waiting on? Come and get me.”

“This time, baby doll, you come and get me.”

‡

T
here was no
mistaking the challenge in Jagger’s voice. She knew she’d set herself up for this, making demands and telling him that she felt rejected and neglected. With shaking hands she reached down and grasped the hem of his shirt, lifting it over ab muscles that had grown tighter and more defined in the past couple of weeks. Again, it made her question what he was doing at night, without her. Shaking her head, she told herself that those thoughts had no home here. They had no business being in these special moments with one another.

“I’m here,” he told her, grasping her chin and pulling her back to him.

Her mind had wandered too long, and she realized if this night was like any of the previous ones of the past few weeks, she didn’t have much time with him. Grasping him around the waist, she pulled him to her with enough force that he stumbled. “And I’m here.” She stood on tiptoe to connect their lips. “I don’t know where you’re going at night, but you better remember who you have at home.”

The words were spoken a breath above a whisper before she attacked him. Removing her hands from his waist, she burrowed them into his hair, grasping the ends and manipulating his mouth how she wanted it, taking control against the strong pull that he normally had over her.

Putting her hands back at his waistband, she yanked the edges of the belt apart and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down past his hips. With more force than she meant to use, she pushed him back against the bed. Refusing to be pushed to his back, he sat on the edge, motioning for her to come closer to him.

“I’m in charge here, remember?” she whispered as she straddled his hips.

“You might be in charge, but I can give you what you want and need,” he whispered right back as he claimed her lips and without preamble ran his fingers along her core, coating them with the moisture that had already gathered. Both of them moaned as he shoved those fingers deep inside her body. “Fuck, you’re tight.” He breathed heavily, smearing his lips down her neck.

Bianca tried unsuccessfully not to rock her hips against him, not to pant as he curled his fingers inside her. None of it worked; her hips were rocking and her breath was coming in huge gasps. “It’s because my boyfriend refuses to fuck me.” She grinned at him, throwing her head back as he sped up and let his mouth take the peak of her breast.

If he were honest with himself, Jagger had missed this more than anything. This was the most intimate relationship he had ever had, and he missed being with Bianca, he missed the way he felt close to her after she gave her body and pleasure over to him. It was more than anything he’d ever hoped for in his life, and she did it without question. He felt like an ass that he seemed to be pissing it away.

“Hey.” She grabbed his head. “Don’t let any crazy thoughts in this moment.”

He nodded; she was right. They couldn’t let anything come into these moments together. If they did, then they really were on the verge of ending. Grasping her hips, he pulled her down onto his length, shivering as he felt her body tighten against his. Being inside her was like coming home; it made him want to shout out to the world and cry at the same time. Nothing in his life had ever made him feel like this. He felt her nails score his shoulders as she picked up her pace. He wondered if it would always be like this, and as he felt his body speeding towards the finish line, he knew that it always would.

Grabbing her around the waist, he directed her over top of him, pushing her down harder on him.

“Jagger,” she breathed out his name in time with the way he thrust into her body. “I’m so close.” She twined her arms around his neck. “I’ve missed you so much. I love you.” It felt like a lifetime since the two of them had exchanged those words. It tore something apart in both of them.

He opened his mouth to tell her that he loved her, and he’d missed her too, but an inaudible scream left his body as he felt his warmth spill into her, triggering her release. As they rode out the waves that washed through their bodies, Jagger realized this was what had been missing. This closeness, this need to be everything she needed him to be.

Only a few more days—and then he knew that he could have her for life.

*