Blue Horizons (A Horizons Novel Book 1) (21 page)

The phone turns off, fading to black, and I stare at it as if it holds all the secrets of the world.

I’m so confused.

Dropping my head to my hands, I fight back the blur of tears trying to form, and I suck in as much cold air as I can. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but the little boy did have brown hair and olive skin just like him. Granted his eyes were brown and not blue . . . oh, I don’t know.

He wouldn’t lie to me, would he? Then again, I haven’t been completely honest, but it was his idea to leave out our personal details. Mistrust swirls through my mind, and I hate that, because as far as I know, he hasn’t done anything to break it. He’s only earned it, just like I said.

I hate how five minutes ago, visions of happily ever after were skipping across my heart, and now I’m beginning to think all of this is more likely to be one moment in time.

What happens at the lake, stays at the lake, right?

Disappointment consumes me.

SHE LEAVES TODAY.

Waking up this morning, instead of an instant grin hitting my face at the thought of seeing her, I’m stuck on the fact that this will be the last time I see her until who knows when. I don’t like this, at all, and I need to figure out how I can spend more time with her.

I’m bewitched by her, and that kiss . . . it was better than all the kisses I’ve ever had combined. I could get lost for days in that little dip in the middle of her bottom lip, and just thinking about how it felt when her tongue danced with mine and the way she tasted, I’m addicted. I don’t think it will ever be enough.

When I got back from getting our drinks, she was sitting in her chair. Yeah, I was disappointed, I wanted to lie on the blanket with her some more, but the high of that kiss overrode any negative thoughts I had. I could feel her trying to put some distance between us, but given she just told me it’d been seven years, I gave her the space I assumed she needed to process.

How am I going to do this? How am I going to let her go? Maybe I should just lay all my cards on the table and see what she says. I hate the ambiguity that’s developed between us. I want to know her, and I want her to know me. No more secrets . . . but if she’s not ready yet, or I push too hard, things might not go in my favor.

Shit, this sucks.

Climbing out of bed, the reflection of the lake flickering on the wall calls to me. I don’t want to be tense or locked into myself today; I need to burn some of this off so I can enjoy our last few hours together. Throwing on some clothes, I wander out to the kitchen to find her leaning against the counter, staring out the window, already drinking a cup of coffee.

“Morning,” I say to her. She turns to look at me and smiles. She looks so good here in my house that my insides squeeze. I grab a cup and pour myself some coffee as both of the dogs tear by and out the door. She giggles and my heart soars at the sound.

“Sleep okay?” I ask.

She shrugs her shoulders.

“How’s your wrist feel?” She’s got the sling off and has the cast lying on top of the counter.

“All right. I took some more medicine. As long as I don’t move it too much it’s fine.” She looks away from me and back out the window.

She’s still distant and I hate this. How do I get us back to where we were? I want her smiling, laughing, and talking to me.

“I have an idea—how about you come out on the lake with me this morning?” She brings the cup to her lips and takes a sip of her coffee.

“But my arm?” She looks over the cup at me.

“We can wrap it up, but you'll be fine. I have a canoe out back that I use for fishing, so unless you stand up and move around, there's no reason for you to go over or get wet.” I prop my hip against the counter and try to look as relaxed as possible. If I’m relaxed, maybe she’ll relax.

She lowers the cup. “So, you’ll paddle me around,
Notebook
style?” Her eyes spark and she smiles at me. I think it’s working—this smile is a little more friendly and open. I like this smile.

“
Notebook
style?” I’m confused.

“Yeah, like the movie,” she says very matter-of-fact with her big blue eyes blinking at me.

“I haven’t seen that movie in over ten years!” And even then, once was enough.

“Well, are there swans?” she smirks. Spunky Ava is back, so freaking sexy, and I can’t help but laugh.

“No swans, but there
is
something I’d like to show you. You’ll need to add a few layers; it’s gonna be chilly.” I look her over from head to toe. She’s wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt, stretchy pink pants, and striped socks. Her hair is down and all over the place. She looks amazing.

“Okay.” She smiles at me, and my heart rate picks up.

“I’m gonna go pull the canoe. Meet you down by the lake?” I ask, just to make sure she’s really coming.

“Okay,” she says again. Her eyes follow me as I move past her to put my cup in the sink. I like her eyes on me. I like it a lot.

Whiskey follows me out as I head down the back steps and under the house. The house is built on the side of the mountain, so underneath the deck, I left it open and it acts more as covered storage.

Grabbing the canoe, I drag it down to the water’s edge. I’ve only used this canoe twice. Once to fish, and once to take Bryce out on the lake. Thinking of Bryce causes my heart to hurt. I’m way past due to see him, and if I’m feeling like this, I can only imagine how I’ve made him feel. Guilt consumes me.

“Whatcha looking at?” Ava asks. I didn’t know she had made her way down here, and I wonder how long I’ve been standing here.

Turning to face her, I find her watching me. My skin heats at the sight of her. She’s fully bundled now in warmer clothes and I have to ignore the way they hug her body. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and there’s no makeup on her face.
Shit
. She’s just so beautiful.

“Nothing really, just thinking.” I pull the beanie off my head, run my hand through my hair, and let out a deep sigh.

“About what?” she tilts her head to the side—studying me—and puts her good hand on her hip.

“Stuff I have to take care of when I get back to town.” That’s really the best answer I can give her without divulging my whole life.

“When’s that going to be?”

“Probably tomorrow morning,” I let out another deep sigh and look across the lake. Damn, I’m going to miss it here.

“Have you been here for a while?” she crosses her good arm over the hurt one, closing herself off.

“Longer than I should have. Come on, I’ll help you in.” The ground next to the lake’s edge is muddy, and I don’t want her feet to stick and throw her off balance. I walk toward her and hold out my hand. She takes it, and as she steps into the canoe, my hand slides up her arm and my fingers wrap around her elbow to steady her.

She turns to smile at me in thanks, but I still catch the distance in her eyes.

Shit
. Insecurity sweeps over me, and I’m never insecure about anything. Maybe she has regrets about last night, maybe she’s wishing she knew a little more about who I am, or maybe she’s just worried about being on the lake, who knows? I just wish I could get a better read on what she’s thinking, or better yet, I wish we were in a place where I could ask her.

Stupid rules. Why did I offer that as an option?

“You’re sure you want to go with me, right?” I ask, wanting her to be open with me.

“I’m sure.” She smiles up at me again as she settles onto her seat and Tank jumps in. She giggles and pets the dog. Can’t say I’ve ever had a dog on the lake before.

“All right then, hold on.” Carefully, I push the canoe into the water. Stepping in, it wobbles a little and she grips the edge. Using my paddle, I push us out away from the shore.

The lake is quiet this morning. There are a few birds up singing, but mostly everything is still. Quiet.

Taking my time, I slice the calm waters with the paddle and push us further onto the lake. The colors of the leaves have turned even more over the last couple of days and its vividness is extraordinary.

By the time we reach the middle of the lake, all of the stiffness Ava has been carrying is gone. I lay the paddle across my lap, and the boat comes to a stop.

“I completely understand what you were saying now about looking from the inside out. At the house, we enjoy the beauty of the lake, but here it’s like we are the lake,” she whispers.

She’s right. In the middle, there’s a three-sixty view of the mountains surrounding us. Homes are littered across the mountain side, mostly camouflaged by the trees, but from here it’s like nothing else exists. Just the lake and the mountains, and it’s magnificent.

“My grandfather used to joke that we were fishing in a fish bowl, but I never saw it that way. Even though I grew up in the mountains, there’s just something about this place that felt more magical, more mine, and I always knew I’d have a place here.”

“You talk about him a lot.” She frowns at me.

“I guess.” I shrug my shoulders. “It’s been a long time, but I do miss him. Anyway, I just wanted to show you this part of me. Why I love it here in Horizons Valley so much.”

“This is a good spot.” Her eyes and head turn as she fully takes in the view.

“Do you see the ski clearing over there?” she points toward the northeastern side of the lake.

“Yeah.”

“That’s where I learned to ski.” She smiles proudly at me.

“I’ve never been skiing.”

“What?! How’s that possible?” she sits up a little straighter, her eyes widening.

“I just haven’t. As a kid, my grandfather wasn’t a fan of it, then I moved in with Clay’s family, and by the time I was a teenager, it was easier to say no, than explain I didn’t know how.”

She giggles at my answer.

“Maybe I should teach you,” she offers up.

“If it means more time with you, count me in.”

Her cheeks shade pink, but the smile she gives me looks almost hopeful.

“So, what about you?” I ask.

“What do you mean?” she bends over and pets Tank.

“It’s called sharing.” I grin at her. “I tell you something and then you tell me. Come on . . . who are you? Tell me something I don’t know.” I feel like I’m starving for any tidbit she’ll throw my way.

She glances over my shoulder at something behind me and her face relaxes as she thinks about her answer. Why is it so hard for her to tell me who she is? That feeling that she might be hiding something comes crawling back to the edges of my thoughts.

“I’m just a girl who’s trying to be.” Her eyes are thoughtful and her good hand starts rubbing the cast over her wrist.

Be?
What kind of answer is that?

“Be what?” I’m confused.

“Be everything. I want to be brave. Be fearless. Be kind. Be strong. Be beautiful. Be badass.” A chuckle escapes me and she laughs softly. “And at the end of the day, I just want to be me.” Her eyes are clear. She’s happy with this explanation, even though I really don’t understand it.

“Why do I feel like after four days, I still know nothing about you?” Time is running out and I’m disappointed. This shouldn’t be so hard.

“I seem to remember the other night you being very detailed about who I am and what you see.” She smirks at me, trying to lighten up the moment.

“I guess so.”

Her eyes match the sky, the tiny diamond stud in her nose keeps reflecting the sun, and her lips are glossy. She’s breathtaking and I want to reach over and pull her onto my lap.

“I just want to know everything about you,” I tell her, placing the paddle back into the water, breaking eye contact. “One more thing to show you and then we’ll head in.”

“Thank you for bringing me out here, it’s beautiful.” She grips the edge of the canoe as we turn toward the southeastern end.

“You’re beautiful.” My eyes connect with hers and hold. She blushes and then looks out across the water as a comfortable silence falls between us.

Pulling around the last curve of the lake, I paddle to the edge so we don’t get pushed back by the runoff.

“Look, do you see it?” I point off to the right.

“I do.”

Tucked in and barely noticeable to the average passing person is a small rocky river, and about a quarter of a mile down, there is a waterfall. The water from the river feeds into the lake, so between the current and the rocks, it’s a little more challenging than flatwater paddling.