Blue Horizons (A Horizons Novel Book 1) (22 page)

“Do you ever go down there?” she asks.

I look down the river and notice the fog has lifted in a way that canopies over the top of the trees. Memories of Clay and I flash before my eyes.

Right after we were hired to be the summer band at Smokey’s, we found a small house for rent just outside the edge of town. We were young, naïve in so many ways, and so excited to be following our dreams. We kayaked the lake, found this river, and spent hours talking about how life was going to be once we made it big. It’s on those rocks down by the falls, five years later, we agreed to change the name of our band and move to Nashville.

“Yeah, in the summer, Clay and I kayak down and go swimming.” To my knowledge, he’s never brought anyone, and Ava’s a first for me. It’s one of those places you just don’t share with everyone.

“It’s so pretty. I wish I had a camera. Are there any trails leading down to it?” She leans to the side of the canoe, hoping for a better view, and I counterbalance her weight.

“Not that we’ve seen, so unless you travel up the river, you aren’t getting any closer. It’s pretty secluded.”

“Maybe next summer we can go.” She looks back to me.

My eyes dart to hers. It’s the first time she’s really mentioned anything about us and the future. My heart swells with hope.

“I’d love to take you down there. It’s a great place to swim if you can handle the cold water.” Thoughts of skinny dipping with her come to mind, but I keep that to myself.

“I’ll manage,” she smiles.

“Good. It’s a date,” I declare.

“Pretty sure of yourself, huh?” Her eyes light up.

I smile back. “When it comes to you, I’m very sure. You may be leaving today, but this,” my finger moves back and forth between the two of us, “isn’t over. It’s just beginning.”

DRIVING TO THE airport, both of us sit in complete silence. With each mile that passes, I feel the distance between us growing even more, and I hate it.

I don't want to say goodbye to him, but what would be the point in saying otherwise? I know he wants to see me again, but I fear if I do, I’ll lose myself to him completely, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for the repercussions if it were to end badly, because that’s what it would be for me . . . bad.

Sensing the tension growing between us, he reaches over and lays his hand on top of mine. My fingers were tapping on my leg and I didn’t even know it. Flipping my hand over, he laces his fingers through mine and brings it up to his lips for a kiss.

I watch as his kiss sears and brands the back of my hand.

Ash completely surprised me this morning by offering to take me on the lake. He didn’t have to do that—he could have gone off on his own, but he didn’t. He wanted me to see why he loves it here so much, and in return, it made me fall for him even more.

Most summers, the girls and I rent a boat and go tubing on the lake. We pack a lunch, speed around, and laugh at each other as we fly off the tube. But I can honestly say, not once have I truly taken in the view around me. Maybe because it was morning and it was calm, or maybe because it’s fall and the colors are so vibrant, or maybe it’s because I was with him, but I felt like I was seeing the lake, the valley, and the mountains for the first time. And I loved it.

I’d be lying if I said Ash and the lake didn’t steal a piece of my heart today, because they did; and when he asked me who I was, I really did want to answer him, and I hope one day he’ll understand why I didn’t. Despite my broken wrist and his mysterious call last night, this was the best weekend I’ve had in a really long time. I know it’s selfish, but I wasn’t ready to give that up by having to explain all the details of my life. It would have changed things, without a doubt.

“Ava,” his voice pulls me from the lake and back to the truck. As if reading my mind he says, “Thank you for the best birthday weekend I've ever had.”

I sigh contentedly and squeeze his fingers between mine. “I’m not sure what I did, other than cause you trouble, but you’re welcome.”

“You’d be surprised actually. You were exactly what I needed.” He looks away from me and out the front windshield of the truck, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand.

I want to ask him what he means, but there’s that gray area again where we really don’t talk about life and reality.

“Well, I’m glad I was able to do something for you, other than eat all your food and spend your money.” I try to lighten the mood, but his eyes are troubled when he looks back at me.

“I truly am sorry about your wrist. Never in a million years would I ever wish pain upon you, but . . . I wouldn’t trade these last couple of days for anything. I meant it when I said I don’t want this to be over. I want to see you again soon. And any time you want to come to Horizons Valley, the house is open for you. Just shoot me a text, let me know, and leave some of those apple strudel cupcakes on the counter.” He gives me a small smile.

“I appreciate that, thank you.” I think back to my reaction last night to that call, and suddenly I feel stupid. He has a life. He’s surrounded by people, just like I am. It was wrong of me to just assume the worst. After all, he wouldn’t knowingly open his home up to me if he was with someone else, would he?

He brings my hand back to his mouth, kisses it again, and then places it on his leg. I wish there wasn’t a console in between us; I’d unbuckle and slide over just to be close to him again.

Pulling into the airport, Ash parks the truck at the Delta curb, and neither one of us moves. There’s an electrical current running between us, and with each second it seems to be getting stronger. It isn’t a sexual one, granted after his kiss from last night I’m thinking I wouldn’t be opposed to it, but it’s more like an electrical connection where we’re drawn to each other in an inexplicable way.

Letting out a sigh, he opens his door, and sneezes as the sun hits his skin.

“Bless you,” I say smiling at him. As rugged and manly as he is, it really is adorable every single time.

“Thanks,” he says, flashing me one of those dimples, opening the door to the back seat. He grabs my suitcase and Tank, then slams it shut. As he walks around the back of the truck, I watch as he takes in a big breath of air before he lifts his head to face me.

Neither one of us says anything, but both of us are searching for answers to the questions we agreed not to ask. And even though he says he wants to see me again, my eyes burn with the knowledge that I might not—he may change his mind—and I have to fight to hold back the tears.

Setting Tank’s travel bag down, Ash steps closer, tucks a few pieces of hair behind my ear, and runs his thumb down my cheek to my jaw.

“Don’t do that,” he says.

“Do what?” I bite on my bottom lip to try and stop the tears, and he reaches over and pulls it out. My lip burns at his touch.

“Look so sad. I can’t take it. Keep it up and there’s a good possibility I get on that plane with you.” My hand finds his hip and holds on tight.

“Would you, if I asked you to?” I study his face to see if his eyes stay clear with the truth.

“Yes.” He lets out a sigh, and they do. This makes my heart leap with hope. “Give me a couple of weeks to take care of some work things. I’m behind and people aren’t happy with me. Once the dust settles, I’d like to see you again, maybe over the holidays?” His eyebrows lift in question.

Over the holidays!

He just made the hope I’ve been holding on to tangible, and I’ll take it.

“I think I’d like that.” I’m so happy I could burst.

“I think I like you. I think I more than like you.” His cheeks tinge pink and I find it charming that this man just got nervous.

My breath catches as he leans down and just barely brushes his lips against mine. Standing on the curb, neither one of us is moving, just our breaths as warmth mixes with the cold air slipping between us.

Willing him to move closer, just one last time, my hand moves up from his hip and my fingers graze the shirt covering his stomach. He feels the faint touch and his muscles contract underneath.

He groans against my lips, moving one of his hands around to my lower back, pulling me to him; and he moves his other into my hair, holding my head.

Heat from his body surrounds me, along with the fresh scent of sandalwood, clean laundry, and musk. It’s a smell that is so distinctly him, it’s comforting and intoxicating at the same time.

His fingertips tilt my head backwards, and my lips fall open and invite him in.

Ash doesn’t kiss me like he did at the concert, instead, he holds more restraint and kisses me tenderly. His lips savor mine, his tongue gently caressing mine, and I find myself getting lost in the moment.

Yes, we are standing in plain sight for anyone to see, and I just don’t care.

I take what this man is offering and give back just what he wants.

Changing the angle of my head, his hand slides down to the back of my neck and tightens. One by one, his fingers imprint me and my world goes black. No longer is he intimately holding me, he’s clamped on to me . . . no, he’s squeezing me . . . no, he’s pinching me . . . no, he’s digging his fingers in, bruising me. How did he find me? Fear consumes me, and I start shaking all over.

“Ava,” I hear in the background.

It’s such a calming voice, behind closed eyes I search past the pounding of my heart to hear it again.

“Ava, open your eyes,” says the voice and I do.

Blinking through the tears, Ash is down at eye level looking at me.

“Focus on me.” He waves two fingers between us, and I see he’s not touching me. “And breathe with me.”

He’s placed my hand on his chest, just like he did before, and his heart is beating against it in a soothing rhythm.

Keeping my eyes on his, shame and embarrassment wash over me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to him, and his eyebrows furrow.

“Hey, I told you before, you don’t have to apologize for anything. Just tell me what I did.” There are worry lines around his eyes.

Swallowing, I push down the lump that’s formed in the back of my throat. “Neck.”

He runs his hand over his face and lets out a breath. “Okay, now I know,” he says slowly, smiling at me, understanding.

“Ash.” My chin quivers and eyes again fill with tears. I’m terrified this is going to ruin us. Ruin what we’ve started.

One hand reaches up for mine, takes it off his chest, and he links our fingers together. “Ava, it’s okay. I told you, we’ll figure it out as we go.” His other hand comes up and his thumb wipes away my tears.

Pulling me closer, my hips lean against him and I arch my back to look up at him. “You need to get moving,” he says, while leaning down and brushing his lips against mine one more time.

“Okay,” I murmur once he releases me, and I let out a deep sigh.

“I’ll text you soon.” He gives me one of his signature smiles, dimples and all.

“Can’t wait,” I say, smiling.

His eyes hold mine as he takes another step back and toward the truck. My hand drops, but I don’t move. I can’t move. I’m about to watch the one person I’ve allowed myself to feel anything for in seven years drive away.

I hate how final this feels, but I’m going to have faith in him that it’s not.