Authors: MJ Fields
“
Okay now the truth, how did you get to camp?” he asked.
“
Jade dropped me off,” she said.
“
Why didn’t you drive?” he asked with anger in his voice.
“
I wasn’t feeling well?” Tessa said answering with a question in her voice.
“
Why Tessa?” he snapped.
She looked at him and yelled,
“Because I can’t sleep, because you’re trying to push me off on anyone you can, because life fucking sucks Luke, because I can!” she stood up and went to walk away, he grabbed her and pushed her on the couch.
“
What else you got Tessa?” Luke yelled back at her.
“
Fuck you!” she said and stood up he grabbed her and she tried to get away, “Let me go!” she screamed, “Let me go, damn it!” She stopped fighting and started crying “Just let me go.”
She turned her back to him and his arm was around her waist. He sat down and pulle
d her on his lap and she sobbed, “I can’t do this anymore you have to let me get through this Luke I love you and it hurts, I can’t do this anymore.”
Luke held her as she cried and hugged her and kissed her head.
“I need you to be okay,” he said softly.
“
Well that’s not going to happen, it’s going to get ugly Luke, I promise you that,” Tessa said through breaths.
“
Tessa I need you to be safe,” Luke said.
“
Oh I will be,” she said laughing.
“
I am sorry,” he said.
“
Stop saying that,” Tessa yelled, “I am pretty sure this wasn’t part of some evil plan, it’s my life and right now it fucking sucks!”
Tessa walked into the bathroom and showered. She walked out in a towel and walked past him up the stairs; she grabbed tight jeans and a button up shirt and put it on. She kept it low enough so that her bra showed. She walked down the stairs and he was pacing back and forth. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge and walked past him into the bathroom and he grabbed the can out of her hand
, it was empty. She laughed. He followed her into the bathroom, she put on makeup and did her hair.
Tessa looked at him and smiled,
“Does it look okay? Am I showing enough skin? You know like the bathing suit last night, hey at the bar tonight maybe you could pick out the lucky guy I fuck tonight,” Tessa said and laughed. His eyes were hurt and she looked away, “unless of course you want to fuck me now,” she said as she took her shirt off and unsnapped her bra. He turned around to walk out and she reached around him and grabbed him and squeezed gently, “Come on Luke, don’t turn your back on me, shit in a few months, maybe less I will catch up to your dozen, then will you want me?” she asked. He pushed her hand away and walked out closing the door behind him. “It certainly won’t take four fucking years!”
She walked out to the kitchen and grabbed the keys. He grabbed them out of her hands.
“I need to go to work Lucas. I get to sing tonight,” Tessa said smiling.
Luke took her hand and led her to his SUV
, she got in. He jumped in and buckled her seat belt and then his and he pulled out the driveway and started down the road.
“
Wrong way baby,” she laughed. “Look at that we have an hour to kill before we have to be there, maybe you could drop me off at the pizza shop and I can go fuck Pizza Boy. Someone will want me Luke, I have thrown myself at you and you sure don’t want me. But you go and FUCK her. Sorry I can’t live up to idea of fuckable bitches, but I am going to work on that,” she screamed.
“
Luke where are we going?” she yelled.
“
To see your mother,” he said calmly.
“
Fuck you, I will jump out,” she said unbuckling her seat belt, he quickly pulled over and she tried to open the door.
Luke slammed it shut and she spit in his face. He wiped his face, she froze. He grabbed her phone and called her mother. She was there in ten minutes. Tessa said nothing to Luke and he said nothing to her.
“I’m sorry about this Mrs. Ross; I know this is because of me,” Luke said fighting the urge to cry.
“
You and me both Luke,” Maggie said and smiled, “Thank you,” she said and hugged him.
Maggie got in the car and drove to her place, no words were spoken. Tessa
’s grandmother was there with the kids and she looked at Tessa “Have you slept with that boy?” she asked.
“
No Grandma, but I sure did try,” Tessa said and laughed.
“
Shame on you,” she said and slapped her across the face.
Tessa walked into the extra bedroom and shut the door
, she laid down and texted Luke
-I fucking hate you!...Tessa
- I know…L
-No you don
’t but you will…Tessa
-That
’s the plan…L
-Who the fuck do you think you are?...Tessa.
He did not reply and she passed out.
~
Luke went to work. Alex came out back, “Where is Tessa?”
“
She is at your Mom’s,” Luke said.
“
Why?” he asked.
“
Not sure?” Luke said looking down.
“
Luke, what’s going on?” Alex asked.
“
Alex she was drunk and acting crazy. I know it’s because of the shit I have brought into her life; I didn’t know what else to do. So I tried to take her there, she threatened and tried to jump out of the car. I pulled over and called Maggie. Your Aunt thinks Tessa is sick. You decide whether or not to tell your Dad. I am taking off for a couple days, going to stay with my Dad, and then I need to talk to the Judge and convince him I can stay home. I can’t do this shit to her anymore Alex, I love her and it’s fucking shattering her,” Luke was about ready to break down and Ben walked in.
“
Hey where is Tess?” Ben asked.
“
She didn’t feel well so Luke took her to Mom’s,” Alex said, “I will be out in a minute okay? You sure you can miss school man?”
“
I have only missed two and a half days, if you would text me the assignments, we are in most of the same classes, if you don’t mind,” Luke asked politely.
“
No not at all,” Alex said, “You know this isn’t your fault Luke right?”
Luke smiled,
“Then whose is it?” he asked, “I will be fine, just make sure Tessa is please.”
~
Tessa went home with Jade after church, “You okay Tessa?”
“
Nope, but I will be,” Tessa said, she ran upstairs and Luke’s bed had not been slept in, some of his stuff was gone. She ran downstairs and looked at Jade, “He’s not here.”
“
Tessa he went to visit his father, he is going to stay there for a couple of days. Luke is going to try to talk to the Judge and see if he can go home, he is hurting and more than anything that’s going on he is hurting because he has hurt you.”
“
How do you know this?” Tessa cried.
“
Tommy talked to him last night,” Jade said. “Tessa you need to walk away, this is breaking you,” she said.
“
If he leaves I will fall apart Jade I love him,” she cried.
“
No Tessa you won’t, you’ll be fine,” Jade said soothing her.
Tessa grabbed her phone and called Luke.
“Hello,” he answered immediately.
She hung up.
“Tessa you do know about caller ID right?” Jade smiled.
Tessa
’s phone rang
“
Hello,” Tessa answered.
“
What’s up Tessa?” Luke asked in a clipped tone.
She began to cry,
“I’m sorry Luke, I am so sorry.”
“
It’s all good Tessa,” Luke said, his voice sounded cold.
“
When will you be back,” she asked.
“
In a couple days,” Luke said using the same tone.
“
I want to see you now,” Tessa said as her voice cracked.
“
Sorry Tessa,” he said quickly.
“
You hate me?” she asked.
“
No, but you told me you hated me, or no fucking hated me, not too long after you spit in my face,” he said and she could tell he was livid.
“
You took me to my mother drunk,” she snapped.
“
You were acting like my mother on a bad night,” he laughed “What did you want me to do? Oh that’s right drop you off to the Pizza Boy so he could fuck you.”
“
You’re being mean,” Tessa said softly.
“
Yep,” Luke said.
“
You’re trying to make me hate you,” she whispered.
“
It’ll happen anyways,” he said.
“
You know I wish I recorded the stuff you said to me when I finally talked to you after two fucking weeks that started this shit again, I was doing fine,” Tessa yelled.
“
I wish you recorded it Tessa because you’re certainly not living up to your end of that conversation, actually you’re acting like a crazy X,” Luke hissed.
“
And you just shattered my already broken heart,” Tessa said trying to keep her voice from cracking.
He didn
’t answer, he was trying to breathe through this, “Anything else Tessa?”
“
Drive safe when you come home… asshole,” she whispered softly.
He smiled,
“Will do, is that it?”
“
No,” she said.
“
Then let’s have it, come on TT let me have it,” Luke breathed out.
“
I Love you,” she said and cried.
“
Damn it Tessa,” Luke said, she heard him take a deep breath and his voice cracked, “Goodbye.”
“
Jade I can’t do this,” she cried handing the phone to Jade. Jade hung up the phone.
~
Luke walked into the bathroom and knelt down and breathed deeply, this is what it feels like he thought, what he had done to so many different girls, this tearing pain that would not go away. This is what it felt like sober and it sucked.
~
Tessa fell asleep before the guys came home. She woke up screaming at 2:30 and Ben came in. “Tessa wake up sweetheart,” he picked her up and rocked her, she hugged him and kissed him, “I’m sorry,” she repeated over and over again. He started to sing to her and she relaxed. He put her down and she began to cry. “Please don’t go she need’s you,” Kendall said, he sat her up and laid her head on his chest and he played with her hair and sang to her until he fell asleep.
Ben woke up in the morning and looked at her and smiled.
“Hey Tessa” he said, “Good morning.”
She jumped up,
“Hello,” she said, “I’m sorry.”
“
From what I understand it comes with the territory,” Ben smiled.
“
Did I, I mean can you tell me what happened?” she asked.
He told her what she did and said, and that he had sang to her.
“What did you sing?” she asked curious.
“
Small Town, a Pearl Jam song,” Ben said and laughed a cute confused laugh.
“
I love that song,” Tessa smiled.
“
Well maybe we need to try music at night,” Ben suggested, “Maybe we you could start that when I leave, I kind of like kissing you,” he said and smiled.
“
Kind of?” Tessa asked.
“
By the end of the week I hope to know what it’s like when you’re awake,” Ben said.
“
You know you’re hot right?” Tessa said and covered her mouth quickly.
He blushed;
“I guess if you say so.”
“
You know I am a train wreck right?” she asked.
“
So you keep telling me,” Ben smiled “We can fix that. What time do you have to go to school?” he asked.
“
Eight why?” she asked.
“
It’s seven fifteen,” Ben said and laughed.
“
Where is Alex?” she said as she ran out the door and he followed her down the stairs.
“
I assume in the woods, get ready I will take you there,” Ben laughed.
Tessa showered and got dressed, she quickly put on some make up and brushed her teeth. Tessa was drying her hair when Ben walked in. She smiled and flipped her hair over to dry the back. Ben sat on the floor and fed her fruit, she laughed.
When she was done drying her hair she flipped her hair and went to put it in a ponytail. “Are you crazy,” he said looking at her “Leave it down Tess, it’s gorgeous,” he said and ran his hand through it. Ben took her hand and grabbed the bagel and water bottle off the counter, “Let’s get you to school.”