Blue Sacrifice (Blue Davison) (11 page)

“That doesn’t mean you love me,” I muttered,
uneasy with his feelings like I was with those of Tyson and the rest of the Zandis.

They wanted me to live, yet someone needed to die
to protect them. Hating the added responsibility of Flynn’s declaration, I
searched for an explanation as to why he said he loved me.

“Did you hope if you said that, I’d stop being
sad?”

Frowning darkly, Flynn pushed back into his chair.
“No. Especially not after seeing the look on your face right now.”

“I’m sorry, but how can you love me?”

“I don’t know. I met you on the bridge and I was
curious as hell and then I was just… I need you, Blue. I need to see you and
hear your voice and I need you to be mine. I’ve never felt that way before and
it’s not unbelievable to think my feelings are love.”

“Is this about me going to the opera?”

Flynn exhaled hard as his jaw twitched with
irritation. “I’m not tricking you. I’m not playing a game. I don’t want you to
be with me because you think you have to. I don’t want you to do anything because
you think you have to. I want you to choose. If you are friends with this guy, then
be friends with him. It doesn’t change how I feel,” he said, crossing his arms.
“Hell, don’t you feel anything for me?”

“Of course, but…”

“But what?” he asked when I didn’t finish.

“I don’t expect anything from guys,” I said,
avoiding his gaze. “Or anyone really. I like you a lot and I want to like you
more than I let myself, but I’m afraid to want anything too much.”

“Because you think people will leave or disappoint
you?” he asked as his anger faded.

“Like my mom left me. Like Aunt Penny and Aunt
Rory left. I accept what I can get and I don’t expect more because then I can
be happy and I do want to be happy. I don’t want to give into my terminal
tumor. I want to embrace life so I don’t ask for anything. With you, I just enjoyed
every little thing you gave me without thinking about it lasting.”

“Do you think with time you could love me? If you
let yourself, I mean.”

“I just don’t know how to let someone that close.
Even Lacey and I keep the barriers up because…”

While I couldn’t explain the sacrifice when he already
thought I was mentally ill, I still hoped to be honest with him.

“I care about you. I really do, but it’s only been
a few days and I’ve spent years accepting how I can only have a little
closeness with people. It’s difficult to just stop thinking that way.”

Flynn reached out and took my hand. “I didn’t tell
you how I felt because I wanted to pressure you. I just want you to know you’re
special to me and you have worth. I see the way it is in this place and at
school. People just pass by without connecting. Everything feels temporary. For
me, you aren’t temporary. I really would stay in Lily Falls for you. I’d stay
and I wouldn’t regret staying because I’ve seen the world and you’re not out
there.”

Glancing out of the nearby windows, I saw demons doing
their bloody shtick. Then I looked at Flynn. The world was so ugly lately and
he was so beautiful. He offered me a reprieve, but I was scared.

Flynn might mean everything he said, but for how
long? Maybe he meant none of it though and simply wanted to woo the girl who
didn’t want to be wooed? I’d seen boys like that before. They had chased after
Alyssa until she finally gave them a shot. Once she was hooked, they patted themselves
on the backs and walked away.

“I’m sorry,” I said because I couldn’t think of
anything else to say.

“Because you want to end things or because you’re
not at the spot in our relationship where I need you to be? I can tolerate the
latter, not the former.”

“I don’t want to end things.”

“Then nothing else matters.”

“You know that’s not true. You want me to say the
right things like you said to me.”

Flynn studied my face then sighed. “No, I want you
to stay with me. The rest is just details and I don’t get hung up on the
details in life.”

“I do want to stay with you.”

Flynn smiled and the heaviness in his expression
faded. Left behind was naughty Flynn with big plans for our evening. Sharing
his smile, I returned to enjoying the wonderful meal this gorgeous man cooked
for me. Soon we finished dinner, only to have him appear with a chocolate pie I
could barely take two bites of before I was officially stuffed. A cup of coffee
later, I helped him clean up in the kitchen.

Bending down to pick up a fork, I felt Flynn’s
gaze on me even before his fingers tickled at my smiley face tramp stamp.

“Don’t worry. Be happy,” he said with a grin.

Sharing his smile, I stood up. “My motto in life.
Despite all of the drama, I’m actually a very laidback low drama girl.”

Flynn kissed me gently as his fingers revisited my
tattoo. Soon the last glass was in the dishwasher and I hurried to a quick bathroom
break while Flynn said something about removing the delicious mushroom flavor
from his mouth.

When I returned from the bathroom after a quick
makeup, breath, and hair check, I found Flynn lying on the couch while staring
at the roaring fire. The light hit his face so perfectly and I shuddered at the
beauty of him. He was almost otherworldly then he looked at me and I saw normal
horny boy.

“What is this music?” I asked, standing at the
doorway.

“Sinead O’Connor.”

Frowning, I found his taste in music odd. “The
bald chick?”

“I think she might have hair now,” he said, his
hands behind his head as I swayed to the music. “It’s warmer over here.”

“And you want to do it in here because it’s cold
in your room, huh? Or are there hidden cameras in here?”

Flynn rolled his eyes. “You are the ultimate
romantic.”

“A girl can’t be too careful.”

“Then why would you believe me if I said no?”

“Because I can read you pretty well and you
weren’t the least bit shock for me to have guessed your evil plan. No one is
that cold. Anyway having a sex tape will allow me to be remembered for
something besides…”

Flynn held my gaze, waiting for me to finish. Instead
I changed the subject.

“Are you sure your dad won’t show up and find us
in here?”

“He knows me well enough to understand how showing
up unannounced could be awkward.”

“You’re such a playboy.”

“And you’re a girl who teases too much.”

“Screw you,” I said, grinning. “I never teased.
That dumpster offer was solid.”

Flynn ran his tongue over his bottom lip. “If I
had taken you into that alley, would we be here right now?”

Swaying my hips to the music, I paused my lame
dancing for only a moment as I considered his question.

“No, probably not. You confused me when you said
no.”

“Not nearly as much as you confused me when you
asked to go behind the dumpsters,” he said, wiggling his dark brows. “I had my
whole seduction planned out and then you just threw me for a loop. Bad, Blue.”

“Those other girls believed your sweet lies, but I
can’t. Too liberated and all,” I whispered, giving him a wink.

“Come closer.”

Shaking my head, I tugged off my gray sweater and
tossed it on a chair. Next I removed my jeans then turned away from him.

“I didn’t just inherit my red hair and freckles
from my mom. I was also blessed with these,” I said, tossing my bra on the
chair before glancing back at him over my shoulder.

“A very bad Blue,” he murmured.

Biting my lower lip, I shimmied out of my panties
and gave him a nice view of my smiley face. Finally I twisted around and waited
for a comment about how I was a real redhead. Guys always said something, even
though I clearly wasn’t faking my hair color.

When Flynn’s gaze washed over me before finding my
face, his expression wasn’t lustful, but serene.

“Before I met you, I thought nothing interesting
would happen to me here. I dismissed this Podunk town and everyone who lived in
it. Then I met my sad redheaded girl and I haven’t been able to think straight
since. I guess I’ve learned my lesson.”

Walking to where he laid on the couch, I eased
into his embrace and smiled.

“You’re special,” I whispered, feeling dumb, yet
needing to say the words. “When we met at the donut shop and I offered to go in
the alley, you weren’t special. You were beautiful, but you’re so much more
than beautiful, Flynn. Thank you for finding me that day on the bridge.”

As his arms wrapped around me, one hand teased my
smiley face while his free hand stroked my bare shoulder.

“What we have, you and me, isn’t the ordinary boy
meets girl thing. Maybe you can’t believe I love you, but you must see what we
share is special. From the moment we met, I never once thought to put the
brakes on my feelings. It always felt right and I can’t imagine those feelings
ever changing. Together we have a chance to be truly happy, no matter what’s
come before.”

A little overwhelmed by his words, I kissed Flynn tenderly
as a way to show my thanks. Licking at his lips, the kiss quickly deepened and
his embrace tightened. Soon his tee was off and I explored his smooth skin with
my tongue, making him squirm.

As difficult as it was to believe someone like
Flynn loved me, I had to accept he felt something amazing. His moves might have
been used a million times, but the look in his eyes as we spent the night
getting to know each other was too raw to be faked.

Flynn wasn‘t kidding about his room being cold.
Naked when we reached the rather barren bedroom, I actually thought only a
jacket would keep my teeth from chattering. Flynn took our piles of clothes,
threw them on a lonely corner chair, then lifted the thick white comforter on
his bed and I dove underneath. He soon joined me and we found a way to recharge
our body heat.

Having never spent the night with a guy before, I
expected all kinds of awkwardness. Yet soon I was sound asleep next to Flynn. I
dreamed of something happy initially, but eventually the demons hounded me, unhappy
about my fun weekend. As they chased me out of the dream, I felt their sharp
little nails digging into my flesh.

“Blue,” Flynn said, turning on a light and pulling
me to him. “What the hell kind of nightmare was that?”

“The Lily Falls kind,” I said, gripping hold of
him and hiding my face against his strong chest. “Can you turn off the light?”

Flynn switched off his lamp and the room fell
dark, hiding the faces I knew were waiting for me. Lifting my head, I could see
Flynn frowning.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“For what?”

“Waking you up.”

Flynn’s frown hardened. “Doesn’t anyone take care
of you at all?”

“I don’t understand.”

“You apologize for crap no one needs to apologize
for. You had a nightmare. Why would you act like you did something wrong?”

“I don’t know. I was just being polite.”

“No, you say you’re sorry to everything so you
don’t have to say anything else. You like to hide and I think you’re used to no
one making you come out from your hiding place.”

Feeling awkward under his gaze, I whispered, “I
really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do,” he said, lifting my chin up so I
would look at him. “You said last night at dinner how you don’t expect
anything. That’s not really true. You expect people to fail or abandon you, so
you give them the outs you think they want.”

Staring at him in the darkness, I said the only
thing I could think to say. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want an out, Blue.”

“Okay.”

Exhaling hard, Flynn wrapped me tighter in his
arms. “You frustrate me.”

“I know.”

A hint of a smile touched his lips. “But I like
how you frustrate me.”

“Then I’ll keep doing it,” I said, smiling
slightly.

Flynn must have seen my grin because he ran his
hand down my back and kept going.

“I really don’t want an out,” he said, cupping my
butt and tugging me against him, “so you need to learn to stop trying to give
me one. I know it’s something you’ve done for a long time with everyone else,
but you need to train yourself to stop doing it with me.”

“I can’t promise anything.”

Flynn teased my tattoo then rolled me onto my
back. “You had a very bad dream, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” I said, wondering where he was going with this
line of questioning. Really hoping he didn’t push for details, I soon felt
Flynn’s fingers exploring and I realized he had something else in mind besides
talking.

“I know a very sweaty way to distract you from the
bad dream,” he murmured while kissing my throat. “Rumor has it this technique
will also give you happy dreams when we finally fall asleep from exhaustion.”