Blue Sacrifice (Blue Davison) (3 page)

Fortunately Hans was great at handling Gretchen.
He loved her so much he just accepted how she would never love him back. I
always felt bad for him to live a life so unfulfilled, but I was planning to
die before I got to do anything cool. Hans at least had a choice and he’d made
it.

After a shower, I worked my way through my closet
to find something suitable for a hookup with a guy of Flynn’s beauty. Most of
my clothes were earth tones and designed by Gretchen’s last girlfriend, Toni.
Even after Toni left Lily Falls, she sent me clothes because she knew I didn’t
wear black (anything even resembling Goth was not a look a Davison should embrace),
red (blood didn’t inspire happy memories for me), or blue. I also didn’t wear
white because I tended to be messy and we had a crapload of cats. Toni designed
me pretty clothes in oranges, beiges, greens, and dark yellows. I was forever
dressed for autumn even at Easter festivities.

I chose a dark brown skirt, a dark green sweater,
and black boots for my meeting with Flynn. While it was really too cold for a
skirt, I was thinking easy access. Then I made quick work of my homework, even
though I wasn’t sure if I would be alive to hand it in the next day. Restless,
I locked up the house and walked towards Harper Avenue where Gretchen’s food
truck was parked.

As I approached, Hans spotted me and shook his
head. Apparently Gretchen was having a bad day and I was to be protected from
it. Yet I was hungry and food from the truck was free. Even though Gretchen gave
me a weekly allowance, I’d blown my money on a feast for dinner the night before,
thinking I was eating my last meal.

Turning right, I headed to the corner where I said
I would meet Flynn. Twenty minutes early and standing next to a donut store, I
rifled through my pockets looking for money. I found three dollars in my jacket
pocket and ordered a little bag of donut holes and a small coffee. Not two
bites in, I looked up to find Flynn.

“You’re going to spoil your dinner,” he said in
that happy accented voice of his.

“Where are you from?” I asked, biting into another
donut hole. “No offense, but you sound like a leprechaun.”

A grinning Flynn sat across from me. “Ireland, but I haven’t lived there in a long while. Can’t seem to shake the accent though.
Have you always lived here?”

“Yes. Do you want a donut hole?”

Shrugging, Flynn took one and popped it into his
mouth. I handed him a second one then finished the bag. Soon my coffee was gone
too.

“I wasn’t kidding about the spot between the
dumpsters,” I said, wiping the stickiness from my fingers. “It’s impossible to
see from the street.”

Flynn glanced at the street as if considering my
offer then smiled. “Where’s a good place for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

Flynn’s smile faded. “I’m not taking you into an
alley.”

“Do you have a car?” I offered, thinking of how
soft his hair looked. “I can’t take you to my house. My cats are feminazis
and attack
men.”

Flynn smiled for a moment then nodded. “I want to
have dinner.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m hungry and it’s dinner time.”

Sighing, I leaned back into the chair and
considered my options. A free meal was always a good thing. Rubbing against
Flynn after dinner sure sounded like a pleasant way to end the day too. Yet I
got the impression he was messing with me and if I said yes, he would embarrass
me. I wasn’t sure why I distrusted him except that he clearly wanted sex and I
was offering and he said no. What was the con?

“I’m not going to kill myself,” I said, cleaning
up my mess at the table. “I don’t need a white knight to save me.”

“Then why were you on the bridge today?”

“I was goofing around. My friend dared me to do it
and I wanted to mess with her. I wouldn’t have jumped. Even if I did, I would
have freaked out once I hit the cold water.”

“Your friend?” Flynn said in a softer voice. “The
beautiful dark haired girl you were with at lunch.”

Just like that, Flynn sucked all of the confidence
out of me. Despite my protests, I wanted to think he really was special and he
really did like me for more than sex or to save me. Yet he was just a guy.

“Her name is Lacey and she’s not dating anyone. I
could introduce you two tomorrow if you want?”

Flynn tapped his long fingers on the table then
glanced out of the window again.

“I saw a steakhouse up the street. Do you eat
meat?”

Studying Flynn, I felt depressed. Tomorrow I would
be dead and Lacey would be dating Flynn. Their relationship wouldn’t last since
neither one was looking for a commitment, but at least Lacey would have something
to take her mind off finding a new friend.

The reality of my death suddenly hit me in a way I
hadn’t let it the last week. I’d kept the finality of it at bay, but soon I
would be dead and no one would really care. The town would have its sacrifice
and people would shake their heads at another suicidal Davison woman. Then they
would just move on with their lives like I never existed.

“Are you crying about the murdered cows?” Flynn
asked, reaching out to touch my wet cheek. “Or about your terminal tumor?”

“I want to go to the alley with you,” I whispered,
needing to feel close to someone.

Flynn sat back and shook his head. “I’m not doing
that. It’s cold out.”

“Then your car.”

“Too uncomfortable.”

“Then my house. A hotel. I don’t care.”

Flynn leaned forward and sighed. “I want dinner
first. A growing girl like you needs more than a few donut holes for dinner.
Come with me then we’ll find a place.”

When he stood up and held out a hand, I thought to
blow him off. Did I really want to spend the evening thinking about what I
couldn’t have? Or pretending like I wasn’t going to kill myself the next day? Or
have a stranger tell me life was worth living even though I knew that more than
anyone? I just wanted to feel his hands on me and let his kisses distract from
what I had to do the next day.

Instead of doing what would be easier, I took his
hand and let him pull me up. Flynn gave me a warm smile like the kind he would
smile for Lacey after I was dead. The reality of life was that no one truly
mattered in the long run, but I mattered less than most.

Flynn said nothing as we walked down the street to
the steakhouse. He held my hand and I let him, even though I wished we could
have just gone somewhere for a meaningless, yet happy romp. Now I would have to
listen to him be nice and know it didn’t mean anything.

Waiting to be seated, Flynn leaned down and
pressed his lips softly against my cheek. Unable to stop myself, I shuddered
from the feel of him. His kiss wasn’t passionate, yet it was no peck on the
cheek either. The kiss held warmth and the promise of what would come later. I
glanced at him and forced a smile. His hypnotic eyes studied me and a smile
slowly spread.

“You look lovely, Blue,” he said in a rich rolling
voice, making me shudder again.

“Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” he asked innocently, but his grin
wasn’t fooling anyone.

“I don’t have money for dinner. I’ll need to pay
you back tomorrow.”

Flynn laughed as the waitress showed us to a
table. “It’s a date.”

“Not really. Besides I’m a liberated woman who
pays for her meals.”

Flynn looked at me like I was full of shit and he
was right. I once went on a date with Lacey’s older brother Tyson and we shared
a luxurious dinner. Not only did I not pay, I didn’t even put out. Of course I
would have, but Tyson wouldn’t even admit it was a date. We were just going out
as friends for my birthday. Then he gave me an amazing goodnight kiss which
left me reeling.

“I’ll pay you back tomorrow,” I told Flynn when he
just smiled and looked over the menu.

“Whatever you wish, but this is a date.”

Studying the menu, I wasn’t sure how I would pay
him back when I didn’t get my allowance until Monday. I might be able to find cash
in my drawers and leave an envelope for him. So focused on how to repay a meal
I hadn’t eaten, I didn’t notice the waitress appear or Flynn smiling at me.

“She’ll need more time,” Flynn told the waitress.

“I’m sorry. I’m not really hungry.”

“Please don’t order a salad,” Flynn said, looking
at the menu again. “I know there are girls who really love salads, but most
don’t and just pretend so they can look good for their dates. I’m not sure how
eating like a rabbit makes a girl sexier, but it’s the common practice on most
first dates.”

“But this isn’t a date.”

Flynn gave me an odd look then set aside his menu.
“I’m ready to order. Did you find a salad which tickles your fancy?”

“I’ll have steak actually,” I said, challenging
his little male attitude. “Lobster too.”

Grinning, Flynn waved over the waitress. While I
did order a steak, I skipped the lobster. I had pigged out the night before and
there was no way I’d find enough money in my sock drawer to repay Flynn for lobster.

“Where did you live before Lily Falls?” I asked, planning to keep the conversation off of me.

“Jacksonville. Before that, we lived in Seattle. Portland was before that. Spent a year in Malibu. My father is an architect and
is always chasing his next project.”

“Do you like moving around?”

“It has its perks. Have you traveled much?”

“No.”

“Would you like to?”

“Sure. So if you live with your dad, what about
your mom?”

“She’s in India, running a call center. Haven’t
seen her in person for a few years, but we use Skype.”

Flynn didn’t seem upset about his mother so I
moved on. “How long do you think you’ll be in Lily Falls?”

“Could be just until the summer, maybe much
longer. My father is working on something with the Afflecks.”

The other wealthy family in Lily Falls, the Afflecks consisted of three redheaded sisters who lived in a giant Victorian mansion
in the woods. I had only seen one sister before, but I heard they were very
rich and didn’t like the locals.

“Tell me about your family, Blue.”

“My mother died years ago. I live with a woman
named Gretchen who adopted me. I don’t know who my father is and I have no
siblings. That’s my family in a nutshell.”

“Does your terminal tumor have anything to do with
your mother’s passing?”

“No and I don’t want to talk about either of those
things.”

Flynn nodded, his fingers tapping on the table
again. “What’s your favorite thing in the world?”

Shrugging, I didn’t intend to share this
information with him. I suspected the correct answer should be something my
mother left me. Instead it was something that was none of his business and he
wouldn’t understand anyway.

“What’s yours?” I asked.

“This ring,” he said, pulling it off his middle
finger. “Reminds me of when I was a boy.”

When he handed me the ring, I held it in my palm.
Tracing the emerald centerpiece, I realized the ring wasn’t only heavy, but expensive.

“It’s beautiful,” I said, returning it to him.

“Given to me at my birth, it was a sign of great
things ahead for me.”

I shared Flynn’s smile, but talking quietly like
this unsettled me. Tomorrow I would dive into the cold water and let myself go
under. My body would be found by a disinterested local. My death would be a one
day story. I’d be cremated and my ashes spread in the same river where I died.
Then it’d be like I never existed. Just like when my mother died.

With Flynn though, I felt warm and safe. Like
tomorrow was just another day and he might ask me out for Friday night. I would
keep living like I wasn’t a Davison who had to die so the town could live.

“When I was boy,” Flynn said quietly, “I thought
it was my job to make my parents stay together. I was sure when I got in
trouble that my parents fought more so I was very careful to behave. It was so
much work to worry over everything I said and did. Every night, I would lay in
bed going over everything to make sure I hadn’t caused my parents to be
unhappy. I felt this heavy burden to keep them together, but they divorced
anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” I said and he nodded.

“Now I work to make myself happy. In life, you
need to accept how you can only save yourself. You can’t be responsible for anyone
else, but if you use all of your effort to make yourself happy, tomorrow can be
better.”

“Then why waste your time trying to save me?”

“Saving you will make me happy. Since my happiness
is very important to me, I very much want to save you.”

Sipping my drink, I then sighed. “I don’t want to
die.”

“Then don’t,” he said in nearly a whisper.

“Life is complicated.”

“No, it’s not really. All most people want to do
is survive. They might think they want to be happy or wealthy or loved. In the
end though, they just want to have a tomorrow. If you want a tomorrow, reach
for it and don’t let anything stand in your way.”