Blue Velvet (13 page)

Heat without, heat within. Silence except for
the sound of Beau’s harsh uneven breathing and her own occasional gasp and murmur of satisfaction and delight, the scent of soap, musk, and the earth beneath them. Heat without, burning within. Beau’s golden eyes narrowed intently on her face, his hips moving with smooth explosive power, the patches of sky through the trees, not midnight but sapphire velvet now. Burning without, burning within. Beau’s hands lifting, her own cry, almost a sob, the deepening, the power, the burning. Oh, dear heaven, the sweet heady burning! Within, without, surrounding, consuming. The burning!

Beau was collapsed upon her, his chest laboring as if he were starved for oxygen. His hands on her hips were still sealing her to him as if unwilling to relinquish possession as he had passion. She found her hands on his shoulders grasping him with that same desperation. Not yet. Let it go on. Beauty always faded so swiftly. Just this time, let it go on.

“I’m too heavy for you.” He was shifting and rolling off her, his breathing coming in gasps. “Lord, I’m sorry, Kate. I must have nearly crushed you.”

“If you did, I didn’t notice,” Kate said lightly. She nestled closer, her fingers curling in the springy thatch of hair on his chest. Her lashes demurely veiled the sudden mischief in her eyes. “But then, I was otherwise occupied.”

He chuckled. “But not productively, I trust.” His grin gradually faded. That unthinking remark had struck too close to home to be considered amusing. He’d been indulging in light sophisticated badinage as if she were just any woman. But she wasn’t just any woman, this was Kate and must be protected and cared for. A task he hadn’t been doing with any degree of success lately, he thought grimly. He sat up and then slipped from the bank into the icy water. “I think I feel the need for a cold swim,” he said tersely. “It would have probably been a better idea if I’d taken it first.” He struck out with brisk strokes toward the center of the pool.

Kate sat up, gazing after him in bewilderment. It was clear that Beau was upset, but the change from laughter to grimness had been so abrupt that it was difficult to comprehend. What had upset him so much? Then she experienced an icy chill that was worse than Beau had felt when
he’d slipped into the pool. Pregnancy. Beau was afraid she might become pregnant and hold him responsible. It was the only explanation for his sudden withdrawal and then almost harsh rejection.

She slipped off the bank, scarcely noticing the coldness of the water on her sun-warmed skin. She hadn’t even considered the consequences of their lovemaking before, but it wouldn’t have upset her unduly if she had. Illegitimacy didn’t necessarily mean being unloved as she had been. If she did become pregnant she would be sure her child was nurtured and surrounded by love. She mustn’t feel hurt at Beau’s reaction to the idea of her having his child. Perhaps he didn’t know her well enough to realize that she wouldn’t expect any support or help from him if that came to pass. Still, the soul-chilling depression remained and she suddenly didn’t want to face Beau until the memory of that curt rejection faded a little.

She levered herself onto the bank and dried off briskly and put on the white caftan. She didn’t look back as she walked swiftly down the path toward the tree house.

She was already dressed in her customary blue
jeans and was buttoning up a soft white cotton shirt when Beau strode through the door. He’d slipped on his cutoff blue jeans that were still wet and obviously freshly laundered. He was frowning moodily as he shut the door. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were leaving? I looked away for a minute and when I looked back you were gone.”

“I didn’t see any reason in staying around,” she said quietly, rolling up the long sleeves of the shirt to elbow length. “It was time I got dressed anyway and there wasn’t any need to disturb you.” She ran her fingers carelessly through her damp curls. “I won’t be gone long. I’m afraid there’s nothing much to do here. All my books are in the other chest if you’d like to glance through them. If you’re hungry, there’s a tin of canned ham and some bottled orange juice in there as well.”

“Gone,” he echoed blankly, his eyes darkening stormily. “And may I ask where you think you’re going without me?”

“I have to go check the plane. There’s no use both of us going. The glade is only a short distance from here and I should be back in less than an hour.”

The cool logic of her argument appeared not to faze him at all. “We should be back in an hour,” he said grimly. “I thought I made it clear that we were a team now.”

She avoided his eyes as she thrust her feet into tennis shoes and then knelt to tie them. “There’s nothing really clear between us, is there? And you certainly shouldn’t feel any responsibility for me.” She stood up and her eyes met his steadily. “I can take care of myself. I have for a number of years and there’s no reason for me to stop now.” She paused meaningfully. “No reason at all.” Her eyes widened in surprise as he muttered a curse. Now what was he upset about? She’d thought he’d be relieved to know she wouldn’t be a problem to him. Perhaps he still didn’t understand. “We had a bargain. Whatever happens I’ll accept it as part of it.”

“For God’s sake, shut up!” he bit out. “That idiotic bargain has nothing to do with us. Not anymore. What kind of man do you think I am? The woman I made that bargain with never really existed. You’ve been a damn victim all your life and if you think I’m going to continue the trend you’re out of your mind.” He ran his fingers
distractedly through his hair and a sun-streaked lock fell carelessly over his forehead. “And now you’re hinting that if you were to have my child, I should just turn and walk away and forget you. Quite the little martyr. Too bad your rain forest doesn’t have a lion or two I could throw you to.”

“There’s no reason for you to get so upset. I just wanted you to know how I felt.”

“I’m damn well aware how you feel. You’re so used to coming last and letting everyone impose on you that you expect me to do the same.” His lips tightened. “Well, I’m not about to satisfy any masochistic tendencies you might be harboring. I’m going to take care of you whether you like it or not.” He drew a deep breath. “I know it may be too late to prevent you from becoming pregnant, but I’ll do my damnedest to keep my hands off you from now on.”

She felt a pain so fierce it made her a little ill. “That’s not necessary,” she said numbly. “We made a bar—”

“Screw the bargain,” he said roughly. “Will you listen to me? There isn’t any bargain and last night and this morning didn’t exist. When I get you off this island, I’m going to take you back to
the States and establish you in Connecticut with two friends of mine. Dany and Anthony will take good care of you.” He frowned thoughtfully. “I’ll hire a tutor for you until you’re ready to enter college and then we’ll choose one close enough so that you can come home weekends. You’ll like Briarcliff and Dany will make you very welcome.”

“Dany?” Kate asked bewilderedly.

“Dany Malik, an old friend. I coached her for six years before she won the gold medal for figure skating at the Calgary Olympics two years ago.”

“That’s the old friend you mentioned being in bondage to,” Kate said slowly, feeling a twinge of jealousy. “You must have cared for her very much.”

“She and Anthony are my best friends,” he said simply. “And they’ll take excellent care of you. Dany and Anthony are on tour with the ice show only a few months out of every year and the rest of the time they stay at Briarcliff. It’s just the kind of stable lifestyle that you need.”

“Wait a minute.” She held up her hand. “I can’t take all this in. Where are you going to be in this grand scheme of things?”

“I’ll be around,” he said evasively. “At least until we make sure you’re—”

“Not pregnant,” she supplied crisply. “How very kind of you.” She folded her arms across her chest to still their trembling. “I suppose I should be grateful for your generosity. I hope you’ll forgive me if I’m not. I don’t need either your kindness or your generosity. I don’t need anything from you.” She crossed the room and tried to pass by him on her way to the door. “Now that we understand each other I’d like to—”

He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “We
don’t
understand each other and you’re not leaving here until we do. I’ve seen too much of that kind of insanity in relationships to let it happen to me.” His eyes were blazing into hers. “Okay, I’m not going to stick around once I set you up at Briarcliff. Do you have any idea of how much I want you? I want to touch, fondle, enter—and not necessarily in that order, as I proved down at the pool. I told you I wasn’t a boy, but I’ve been acting like one. How long do you think I’d be able to restrain myself from dragging you to the nearest motel every weekend if I stayed within reaching distance?” He dragged
her closer and jutted his hips forward so that she could feel his bold arousal. “For Pete’s sake, look at me now! I’ve just told you I wouldn’t touch you and it wouldn’t take more than a nod of your head to make me throw you down on that mattress and take up where we left off forty-five minutes ago. I want you too damn much to act the platonic friend and it’s not fair to you to be anything else.”

“No? It appears much fairer than the arrangement you’re suggesting,” she said, meeting his eyes directly. “And the only one I’m likely to accept. At least I wouldn’t be a charity child nibbling at the crumbs from your table. I’d be giving you something you want for your money.” Her smile was bittersweet. “Another bargain, not so unlike the first one, except that you’ve already sampled the merchandise.”

His hands tightened on her shoulders. “Will you be quiet?” he grated out through clenched teeth. “You make yourself sound like some kind of prostitute. I’m not setting you up as my weekend mistress because you’re too independent to accept help any other way.”

“You’re quite right you’re not,” she said
clearly. “But only because I choose not to be. The disposition of my life is my affair and not yours.” She pulled away from him. “You have it all planned down to the last detail. College, your stable lifestyle, your very helpful friends. Did it ever occur to you to consult me? I would
love
going to school. Learning new things is exciting and it would be heaven to be surrounded by all those lovely books.” She lifted her chin proudly. “But I’m not as ignorant as you seem to think. I may not have had a formal education, but I’ve worked and studied just the same.”

“I know that,” he said gruffly. Oh, Lord, now he’d hurt her. Why wouldn’t the words come out right? “You’re probably better informed than ninety-five percent of the college graduates I’ve met. But that’s not all there is to the educational process. There are dances and football games and lectures and—” He stopped helplessly. How could he convince her when he’d never given a damn about all that stuff himself? But maybe she would. She deserved at least the chance to sample the social side of life. It was his duty to supply that sample. Duty. Lord, he hadn’t thought about responsibility and duty since he’d left
Dany and Anthony two years ago. Strange, it wasn’t as unpleasant as he’d thought it would be. Not when that duty involved Kate. In time he might even come to enjoy it.

She was gazing at him uncomprehendingly. Dances, football games? It was as if he were speaking a foreign language. What did those things have to do with her? She wasn’t a child to be offered amusements such as those. Well, it was evident that Beau thought of her in those terms. She obviously hadn’t been far off the mark when she’d described herself as a charity child. Lust may have been an element in Beau’s feeling for her but pity was obviously paramount. She felt a slow-burning resentment not unmixed with hurt. She could have tolerated any attitude more easily than that.

“No, thank you,” she said dully, her voice as precise as a polite little girl’s. “I’m sure that sort of life wouldn’t appeal to me.”

“How do you know until you’ve tried it?” he asked roughly. “There’s a whole world of experiences out there just waiting for you. You’re like a blank blackboard that’s never been written upon.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but this particular blackboard
has
been written on before. I haven’t lived in a convent, you know. In some ways I may have been limited but in others I’ll match you experience for experience.” She was opening the door and turning to look at him over her shoulder, her eyes bright with tears. “No deal, Beau. You’ll just have to find some other charity to patronize.” Then she was out the door and climbing lithely down the ladder.

She heard him on the platform above her but she didn’t stop at his bellowed, “Kate!”

She’d had enough to contend with for the moment, perhaps forever. She would
not
cry in front of him. It would only substantiate the image he had of her as being some sort of waif to be rescued from a life of crime. She was neither a victim nor an object of pity, damn it.

He was starting down the ladder after her, but she’d almost reached the ground. By the time he reached the bottom of the ladder she’d already faded into the forest.

T
HE
C
ESSNA WAS
safe. She hadn’t really thought Despard’s men would discover it. Tucked under a green-and-beige camouflage tarpaulin at the edge of the glade, it would have blended perfectly into the landscape from the air. The only way it could have been found was a ground search through the rain forest and Despard’s city-bred men weren’t equipped for that type of physical undertaking. Still, it was a relief to be sure. She gauged the tires to be certain they hadn’t lost any air and was just straightening the tarpaulin back over the wings when she heard a cheerful voice behind her.

“We both had the same idea. Is it ready to go?”

She whirled to face him. “Julio! What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you until at least late this afternoon.”

He shrugged. “Consuello wanted to go into Mariba last night instead of this morning to taste the delights of the sinful city.” His dark eyes twinkled. “I tried to convince her that tasting the delights of my gorgeous body would do as well but she insisted she wanted both. A very greedy señora.” He moved forward to help her with the tarpaulin. “So we stayed at a hotel near the waterfront and I drifted around to a few bars and kept my ears open. I borrowed her brother’s motorcycle to get here after I left Consuello back at her cottage.”