Blue Velvet (20 page)

“What do you think about me?” she said, closing her eyes as his hand lazily caressed her back before resuming the pressure against her bottom. “I can’t stand this!”

“Yes, you can.” His lips switched to her other breast to give it equal homage. “We’re almost home, Kate.” He suddenly pushed hard and strong and was filling her completely. She gave a low guttural moan of infinite satisfaction. “What a lovely sound.” His breathing was becoming labored. “Let’s hear it again.” He jerked her up and forward and this time her gasp was a keening cry of need.

He lifted his head from her breasts and wrapped his arms around her. His lips were buried in the curls at her temple. “Oh, Lord, this is wonderful. I never knew anything could be so fantastic. And it couldn’t with anyone else.” His hands were caressing her naked back with loving gentleness. His lips covered hers and his tongue thrust deep and probing. He raised his head and drew in a deep breath as if his lungs were starved of oxygen. “Only you, Kate. Only with you.”

He didn’t wait for her to answer. His hands were on her hips, moving her, thrusting, penetrating so deeply it made her gasp. It was so wild and sweet and hot that she moved from peak to peak with scarcely a breath in between. It was unbelievable that any sensation this exquisite
could be sustained for so long but somehow Beau accomplished the impossible. It seemed an eon later that the final peak was reached and they collapsed back on the bed in a state of euphorically languid exhaustion.

Sleep followed as inevitably as a rainbow after a sunlit storm. Gentle sleep, held securely within strong possessive arms. So wonderful to be held so lovingly with her ear pressed to Beau’s heart, hearing the steady vital cadence and knowing she could make that metronome erupt into rapid explosiveness at a single touch. But not now. Now it was enough to know they had all the time in the world to enjoy that magical intimacy. Beau had looked so tired and strained up on deck. He needed to rest. Her arms unconsciously tightened around him. Rest, love, while I guard you from the world. Lay down your arms. Sleep, and I will shelter you from all loneliness and …

“Kate, wake up.”

She
was
awake. She was just enjoying being stroked with such affectionate tenderness. She opened her eyes drowsily. He was sitting on the
side of the bed completely dressed, no longer vulnerable but still every bit as beloved. Still, she felt a little ripple of disappointment. “I wanted to take care of you.”

“What?” He frowned. “I think you’re still half asleep. We’ll be docking in Santa Isabella soon and we need to talk.”

He handed her a white toweling robe that looked vaguely familiar. Oh yes, she’d worn it that first night on the
Searcher
. It seemed such a long time ago. Docking so soon? They must have slept for longer than she’d thought. The rays streaming through the porthole of the cabin were much longer and weaker now. It must be quite late in the afternoon.

“You said you wanted to talk before,” she said, giving him an impish grin as she slipped her arms into the sleeves of the terry robe and tied the sash about her waist. “We never appear to get around to it, do we? Something always seems to interfere. First, the Guardia, then my wound, then—”

“We’ve run out of time,” he interrupted with a soberness that made her vaguely uneasy. “We
have no choice now.” His smile was mirthless. “I wish to heaven we did.”

She moistened her lips nervously. “So talk. I’m listening.”

He stared at her helplessly as if wondering where to begin before letting his breath out in an explosive sigh. “Oh hell, there’s no use beating around the bush. As soon as I get the preliminary immigration red tape out of the way, I’m sending you to Briarcliff to Anthony and Dany.”

“Sending—” Her eyes were wide and shocked in her suddenly pale face.

“You’ll be much better off with them. There are things they can give you, things you deserve to have.” He was speaking rapidly, his gaze fastened somewhere over her left shoulder. “They’re great people and you’ll learn to love it there.”

She shook her head dazedly. “We’ve talked about this before. I told you there’s no possibility I’d go to Connecticut. I thought you understood that.”

“I understand that you don’t know what’s good for you,” he said gruffly. “You’d rather wander around the world as my mistress because
of that blasted streak of independence. Well, you’re my wife now. You have a claim on me. There’s no reason for you not to take advantage of a few of the fringe benefits.”

“Isn’t there?” she asked dully. The shock was ebbing, leaving only pain. “I thought you said the marriage was for your benefit. Does that mean you’re going to go sailing off on your merry way as soon as you put me on a plane for Briarcliff?”

“No!” The denial was swift and immediate. “I told you the situation had changed. I’ll be around. Do you think I could just let you go now that I know how trouble seems to follow you?”

He’d be around. Of course he would. He couldn’t let his little waif wander around without his protection. He’d promised to give her his strength, knowledge, and experience. But she mustn’t think of those gravely beautiful words. They hurt too much. After all, he hadn’t promised her love. She hadn’t dared wish for that and he’d been very careful not to promise her anything he couldn’t deliver. He was too honest for that. But not too honest to use a little subterfuge to get his own way. Her gaze slipped
away from his face. “You lied to me.” Her eyes were stinging with tears she refused to let fall. “You weren’t honest with me, Beau.”

“I know it,” he said harshly. “Do you think I don’t? It was necessary. It was for your own good, damn it.”

“Who gave you the right to decide what was good or bad for me?” Her voice was shaking. “Who the hell gave you that right, Beau?”

“No one gave it to me. I took it.” His gaze at last returned to her face. “And I’d do it again, Kate. If it meant keeping you safe, you can bet there’d be absolutely no question about it.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Now, for God’s sake, be sensible.”

“Sensible!” Oh, Lord, her voice was close to breaking.
She
was so close to breaking. She had to get rid of him. Pity was already the paramount emotion he felt for her and she’d be damned if she’d add fuel to that pity by dissolving into tears. She carefully steadied her voice. “I’ll try to be sensible, Beau.” Her smile was shaky. “I’ll have to think about it. You’ll have to give me a little time.”

“Kate.” His hand reached out impulsively as if
to touch her hair but paused in midair. “Oh, hell!” he said with soft violence. He stood up. “You’d better get dressed. We should be docking any time now.” He was striding swiftly toward the door. “I’ll see you up on deck.”

The door slammed behind him and her pent-up breath released in a rush. She had a little while now to let the pain flow over her and come to grips with it. She mustn’t cry though. Her eyes mustn’t be red when she joined him on deck. She’d just sit here and soon she’d be strong enough to face him again. See, she was better already. Her throat wasn’t nearly as tight and if she kept her mind perfectly blank she’d be able to keep it that way.

Unfortunately for her excellent intentions, her gaze fell on the strange and beautiful ring still on her finger. The rose and the sword. Pure magic, Daniel had called it. But the magic hadn’t lasted very long, had it? Her hand cradled the ring lovingly, not even aware of the slow desolate tears that began to rain down her cheeks.

“I
FORGOT TO
give this back to you,” Kate said quietly, extending the ring to Daniel. “It was very kind of you to lend it to us.”

Daniel’s large hand closed on the ring and thrust it carelessly on his finger. “I thought so.” He grinned. “I’ve never been a best man before. Actually, the entire business was less embarrassing than I thought it would be.” He leaned back and stretched his bare powerful legs as far as was possible in the confines of the backseat of a taxi. “Toward the end of the ceremony I was beginning to feel so solemn and upright it was positively nauseating. I wouldn’t want to do it too
often, however, or I’d probably become just as boringly responsible as Beau’s getting.”

Kate was staring blindly out the window of the taxi. Responsible. The word cut with the sharpness of a scimitar. Not love or even desire, responsibility. “No, you wouldn’t want to do that,” she said drearily. “Beau has enough of that particular virtue for all of us.” She could feel Daniel’s gaze on her profile sharpen and tried to rouse herself. “Where are we going? I’m afraid I didn’t pay any attention to what you told the driver when we got into the cab.”

“The village. It’s a very exclusive resort on the other side of the island. According to Carruthers, besides the central hotel it has a number of private bungalows situated on the beach. Beau told me to take you there and get you settled while he went to see your friend Brenden and tried to get a line on your birth records. He said to tell you he’d make arrangements for you to see Brenden and Rodriguez tomorrow. In the meantime he thought you might want to replenish your wardrobe at the shops in the main hotel. He made a call and arranged for them to
bill the Lantry conglomerate for anything you decided you wanted.”

“How very generous of him,” Kate said ironically. But then she’d known he’d be generous, at least monetarily. She only wished that generosity could have been more emotional than financial. No, she wasn’t being fair. He’d shown her tenderness, laughter, passion, everything but love. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t have that to give her. Just as it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t accept the pity he offered in its place. “I won’t need very much. Just a few changes of clothes.”

She must be careful not to buy too much. Those shops would probably be exorbitantly expensive and it would take forever to pay Beau back after she left him. That she
would
leave him wasn’t even in question. It was inevitable, and it must be soon. Very soon. She had to escape so she could begin to heal.

“Don’t be too modest in your demands.” Daniel’s eyes were twinkling. “You’re a married woman now. There’s such a thing as community property, you know.”

“If you mean to imply Beau owes me something just because of that ceremony we went
through, that’s utterly ridiculous,” Kate said tautly. “Beau said that too. Nothing’s changed just because of a few words that were spoken over us. I’m still me, with my own obligations and duties. And Beau”—her voice was becoming maddeningly husky—“Beau is still Beau.” Golden-eyed recklessness, strength, and tenderness. Beau.

There was a moment of silence. “I think I detect a note of discord in honeymoon heaven,” Daniel said slowly. “I noticed Beau was a little uptight but I thought it was because he was impatient with all that red tape he’s having to unwind. Dealing with bureaucratic types isn’t his favorite pastime.” He paused. “But it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

She kept her eyes firmly fixed on the window. “Yes, it’s more than that.” She tried to smile. “I’m afraid your ordeal was all for nothing, Daniel. This is one marriage that was over before it started.”

“Uh-uh.” The negative was so firm it brought her startled gaze back to his face. “I detest wasted effort. It’s a little idiosyncrasy of mine. After I compromised my image so drastically
there’s no way I’m going to let you untie the knot without good reason.” His voice softened. “I saw your face after Beau had put my ring on your finger. You were glowing like a Sedikhan sunrise.”

“That has nothing to do with it,” she said shakily. “You heard Beau. It was only a convenience to get me past Immigration.”

“A marriage of convenience?” Daniel scoffed. “Not likely, Kate. They went out with jousts and suits of armor. Beau wouldn’t be involved with an idiocy like that.”

“You obviously don’t know him as well as you think you do.” Her smile was sadly sweet. “That’s exactly the kind of idiocy that Beau would become involved with. He’s out to save the poor little orphan at any cost. He married me because he thought that was the only way I’d let him take care of me.” She blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay. “Well, he was wrong. He should have known that blasted ceremony wouldn’t make any difference.”

“Oh, Lord!” Daniel groaned, closing his eyes. “Maybe Beau’s an idiot after all. He certainly seems to be guilty of a remarkable lack of
communication.…” His lids flicked open and there was a glint of determination in their depths. “Okay, it’s obviously up to old parson Daniel to clear the decks.”

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips at the outrageously inept comparison. “I appreciate your wanting to help, but it’s not your concern, Daniel.” Those blasted tears were welling again. “There’s nothing anyone can do.”

“You’re going to cry,” Daniel accused with exasperation. “Now I’m going to have a wishy-washy prima donna on my hands.”

“I’m
not
going to cry,” she said indignantly. “And I’m not wishy-washy.”

“I didn’t think you were, but I’m beginning to change my mind. Whatever happened to the girl who broke me out of the Black Dragon Inn? I might have criticized your impulsiveness but not your lack of determination.” He shook his head in disgust. “You and Beau are quite a pair.”

“What do you want me to do?” she asked fiercely. “I can’t make Beau love me and I don’t want his damn pity.”

“Pity!” He shook his head. “Muddle-headed as well as wishy-washy. Look, Kate, men don’t
marry because they feel sorry for a woman. Hell, I never thought I’d see the day when Beau would marry at all. Didn’t it occur to you it would take something pretty monumental to make Beau give up his freedom after all these years?”

“I told you why he did it. He felt sorry—”

“Bull,” Daniel interrupted. “He’s crazy about you. I’ve never seen a man so besotted in my life.”

“He wants me,” she corrected huskily. “I would have settled for that. I know it’s more difficult for men to love than it is for women.” She lifted her chin. “But I won’t accept any relationship where I can’t at least stand upon equal terms.”

“Equal terms,” Daniel repeated. “Yet you clearly don’t have any conception of equality in the man-woman relationship itself. Where the devil did you get the idea men were shortchanged in the emotional department?”