Blue with Black Dots (The Caprice Trilogy Book 2) (2 page)

              “Appreciate it,” said Patrick.

              “Then we take a vote, if we would live by the quote or not,” said Bryan, “We got eight people, which means seven people will vote on your quote.  You can’t vote on your own shit for obvious reasons.  If you would live by the quote, raise your hand.  If not, don’t.  Seven people works because we’ll have a majority always.”

              “Ok,” said Patrick, “We just say any ol’ shit we want.”

              “It can be deep philosophy,” said Bryan, “It can be some cock-and-bull answer just because you wanna take the shot.  But keep one thing in mind.  With these fools, a cock-and-bull answer will probably fly.”

              “Like a bird,” said Tanis.  Georgia smiled.

              “Wait,” said Yvette, “Do we take the shot if everyone votes for our quote or if they don’t?”

              “If your quote fails to impress,” said Bryan, “You take the shot.  So if it’s three-to-four then you drink.  If it’s four-to-three, you don’t.

              “Georgia,” said Patrick, “If you say anything at all, I’m not voting for it.”

              “You just wanna get her drunk,” said Diane.

              “I won’t confirm or deny that,” said Patrick. 

              “See,” said Tanis, “Saying that kinda shit is what’ll give you away as a government agent.”

              “You mean you don’t know I’m government,” said Patrick, “You’ve been smoking that good stuff for the last forty-one weeks.”

              “I have,” said Tanis, “Thanks for all the samples for the piss tests.”  Diane and Yvette laughed.  Georgia just smiled, listening.

              “Hagan,” said Bryan.

              “Just a sec,” said Hagan.  His voice was muffled.  Hagan came out of the bathroom with shots poured into paper cups, two shots in each hand. 

              “Ladies first,” said Hagan.  Hagan walked to the far side of the room where the four girls were huddled around the twin bed.  Each took one of the shots from Hagan, who retreated to the bathroom to return with four more shots.

              “Gents,” said Hagan.

              “What is it?” said Patrick.

              “The best vodka made outside the Eastern Bloc,” said Hagan.

              “What?” said Alan, “It can’t be
Stolis
or
Smirnoff
.  What? 
Absolut
?”

              “Bingo,” said Hagan, “Tha Swedes work hard, most of the wheat in Sweden is used to make
Absolut
.”

              “Really?” said Bryan.

              “I don’t know,” said Hagan, “But it would probably taste better if you guys thought that.” 

              “Taste?” said Diane, “You mean aftertaste.”

              “Ok, we need an order,” said Bryan, “Let’s start the game.”

              “Why don’t you go first Big Man?” said Alan.

              “Ok,” said Bryan.

              “Let’s hear it,” said Tanis.

              “OK,” said Bryan, “My grandfather used to say
to know a man, don’t look at him.  Look at where he casts his gaze
.”

              “Don’t look at him but look at where he casts his gaze,” said Patrick, “Are those really words to live by?  I don’t know.  Me thinks not.”

              “Yeah,” said Alan raising his hand, “If your guy’s ambitious, he’ll probably set his sights high so you’ll notice that right away.”

              “I agree,” said Tanis, “He’s probably casting his gaze at Gigi’s boobs so you know immediately what he’s after.”

              “Oh shit,” said Diane, “Just spell it out for us.  I agree with Tanis.”

              “What?” said Yvette, “About Gigi’s boobs or the quote?”

              “In either case my hand’s up,” said Diane.

              “Mine too,” said Yvette.

              “Mine three,” said Georgia.

              “Hagan?” said Bryan.

              “You’ve got a majority already,” said Hagan, “For the game’s sake you’re good.  Only question is who’s next.”

              “Me next,” said Tanis, “The Queen of Clubs will join her King.  Ok, Grandpa Regel wasn’t as deep as Grandpa Lawrence so I’m going with a personal quote. 
Don’t treat the future like a friend because you don’t know that bitch
.”

              “Tha fuck?” said Alan, “Don’t treat the future like a friend?”

              “What the fuck is that supposed to be about?” said Bryan.

              “The future is always unknowable,” said Tanis, “So don’t go trusting the future like a friend or thinking things are gonna workout like you planned because you don’t know the future.”

              “That’s good,” said Georgia raising her hand.  Yvette also raised her hand.  Diane and Yvette were almost simultaneous.  Alan’s hand went up, along with Bryan and Patrick.  Hagan counted the hands and realize there was a super majority so he didn’t raise his hand.

              “This cat’s shady,” said Tanis, “That’s two rounds and you haven’t raise a hand.”

              “I don’t need to,” said Hagan, “Six people raised their hands.  What’s my vote gonna do?”

              “If he doesn’t like raising his hand,” said Yvette, “Then he should go next.  That way he can play but doesn’t have to vote.  Like he’s voting anyway.”

              “Yeah Hagan,” said Patrick, “Step up to the plate, my man.”

              “Let’s go King of Diamonds,” said Diane, “Show them what we’re made of.”

              “Ok,” said Hagan, “This quote got me through high school and Dartmouth. 
Go for the easy A
.”

              “What?” said Diane.

              “That’s not a quote,” said Patrick, “That’s common sense, man.”

              “Maybe,” said Hagan, “But not to a hick like you.”

              “Hagan,” said Diane, “I was expecting you to hit us with some bitchen quote and you come with that mess?  Now I’m sorry that we’re in the same suit.”

              “It is bitchen,” said Hagan, “It’s like go for the clear winner.  Like short-term gains.  Biology may be a better course and you’ll learn more but the pay off is gonna be down the road like Med School or something.  But if you take P.E. and make it across the monkey bars, there’s your A right there.”

              “If that’s a bitchen quote,” said Tanis, “Then your mom’s the bitch cuz she’s the only one that would raise a hand for you on that shit.”  Georgia laid her hand out flat, which Tanis replied with a five.

              “That’s pretty fuckin’ harsh,” said Hagan.

              “All part of your training amigo,” said Tanis, “Now shoot it, cuz ain’t no one’s hand going up for that shit.”  She was right.  Not a single hand was raised for Hagan’s quote so his shot went down. 

              “Way to take it like a man, Hoss,” said Patrick.  The girls clapped.

              “Our first victim,” said Bryan, “Who’s next?”

              “I’m next,” said Diane, “In keeping with Queen of Clubs following the King of Clubs let the Queen of Diamonds follow the King of Diamonds.”

              “Is he still a king after that weak quote?” asked Tanis.

              “I’m not sure he’s king of anything after that crap,” said Diane.

              “He’s been demoted to jester,” said Alan.  Diane laughed.

              “The Jester of Diamonds,” said Diane, “That works on so many levels.  Ok, shut everyone let me think.”

              “How do you tell everyone to shut up when you’re the only one laughing?” said Bryan.

              “Well you’re still talking,” said Diane, “So I’m gonna need a shut up from ya.”

              “Let’s have a quote, you diamond-studded laugh track,” said Bryan.

              “Ok,” said Diane, “Here it goes.  The Queen of Diamonds—Her Royal Highness.  HRH comes before my name.  And my quote is from my dad.  He used to say
in life all your true friends are dead and they were all presidents
.”

              “Your dad sounds like a greedy bastard,” said Hagan.

              “Shut up, Hagan,” said Diane.

              “Hey don’t fuck with me,” said Hagan, “I’ve been drinkin’.”

              “Maybe her dad didn’t have many friends,” said Bryan.

              “He just didn’t trust any jokers,” said Patrick.

              “Probably means he wouldn’t like any of us,” said Yvette.

              “Hands up,” said Bryan.  Bryan’s hand didn’t go up.  Hagan showed support for the queen of his suit.  Georgia’s hand went up but she was the only girl.  Alan’s hand also went up but that was it—three out of seven.

              “Three is all you can muster,” said Bryan.

              “That’s it?” said Diane.

              “No, that’s not it my queen,” said Hagan, “Drink.”  Diane had no choice.  She took the shot.

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” said Bryan, “Four down, then we still got four to go.  Who’s next?”

              “Just call out a suit,” said Patrick, “Then we do the king and the queen after.  Or queen then king, it’s doesn’t really matter.”

              “Ok, eager beaver,” said Bryan, “Spades.”

              “Let’s go King of Spades,” said Tanis.

              “Y’all’ll be calling me Ace of Spades when you hear this righteous quote of mine,” said Patrick.  Patrick’s confidence gave the crowd the usual oohs and aahs.

              “Let’s hear it then,” said Tanis.

              “
Dodge the stupid
,” said Patrick.

              “Are you talking about me?” said Tanis.

              “Wait,” said Alan, “Is that your quote?”  Patrick’s smile gave it away.

              “That’s your quote?” said Bryan.

              “Yeah,” said Patrick, “Think about guys like Einstein, Charles Dickens and JFK.  They all get their propers because they’re considered to be extraordinary or exceedingly intelligent.  Most of us shouldn’t hope to have that kind of success.  So we shouldn’t try to rely on doing brilliant stuff.  Just try to dodge the stupid stuff.  You can be successful in life by just dodging the stupid mistakes that most people generally make.  You don’t have to be successful by a stroke of genius, like Edison or somebody.  Just dodge the stupid.”

              “Ok,” said Tanis, “I’ll dodge the stupid but I won’t vote for that.  Maybe you should take your own advice.”

              “Oohhh,” said Diane, “That was good.”  Tanis bent her arm back over her right shoulder and held out her hand.  Diane slapped her hand as Tanis smiled wolfishly toward Patrick.  Georgia, still sitting on the floor next to Tanis with Yvette’s head resting on her lap, raised her hand in support of the male member of her suit.