Authors: Mercedes Keyes
Bart & Gert McPherson (mom & dad)
Derrick & Meribel McPherson (brother sibling 1 & wife)
Jake McPherson & Doris (brother sibling 2)
Kathy Ann [McPherson] & Dwight Dearborn (sister sibling 1 & hubby)
Shanna [McPherson] & John Sykes (sister sibling 2 & hubby)
Sylvia sat staring at the names, wondering who to call. "Do I call your mom and dad? They'll be worried…what if there's nothing to worry about? No…I won't call them, maybe I should call one of your brothers? Derrick or Jake, Jake or Derrick? Or maybe I should call a sister? Damn you Shawn McPherson, you are wrecking my peaceful life!" She sat worrying over who to call, wishing the phone would ring. Then realized if she called one of them, she'd be tying up the line at the very moment he might be trying to call her.
"Oh, hell no...this ain't right - this is not right! I am not suppose to be going through this. I knew your ass was trouble the first moment I looked at you. I
knew
it! Dammit!" She looked at the clock, it was 12:15am.
She turned to look out of her window at his house, the living room and kitchen lit up as the house and her waited for him to return. "Come on Shawn, pull up. Pull into the driveway, please...pull in," she pleaded, and all of sudden, she burst into tears. Shocked at herself, she covered her mouth trying to stifle her crying, but a sob burst through until she was crying full-blown with her chest burning. She rose from the sofa and went to her room, throwing herself across her bed where her shoulders shook while she cried. She could feel it in her gut, something was wrong. She laid thinking about the time it would take him to get there, going into the airport, getting his daughter, and driving back. He should be there now. She wiped her eyes, went into her bathroom to blow her nose. Then she dared it, she looked at the calendar. She walked over to it, stared at the date that meant the most to her. Fifteen days ago, Shawn had taken her three times, no condom. "No condom...oh Shawn. You goddamn, pushy, controlling white man, I'm freaking late...I am soooo late! Oh please...come on. Please, my friend, come down,
please!
" She was ten days late now. Then she thought about it as she wiped her nose. "You're being ridiculous, what's ten days? You've been ten days late before a few times," she spoke out loud, trying to bring herself up out of her slump of depression, then after deeper thought, slipped in more. "But I wasn't having sex then when I was late!" she wailed, turning away, wiping at her nose distracted, the back of her hand clearing the tears streaming from her eyes.
"What am I going to do? I'm thirty-eight years old...please, don't let me be...please, don't let me be." She couldn't even bring herself to say the word. By not saying it, that would make it not so, so she would dismiss it from her mind and just let nature take its course. She was overreacting. She would just not think about it and one day, she would wake to flooded sheets and a stained bed or underwear. Walking to the big picture window, she stood staring across the street. She turned looking at the clock. It was 12:40 in the morning.
"Okay... you should be here now, pull up Shawn."
The phone rang, she rushed to it. "Hello!"
"Sylvia..."
"Shawn, oh, Shawn! I've been waiting for you to drive up or call, where are you?"
He was quiet, then finally he spoke, "I need you to come and get me, I'm in jail."
"What? In jail!"
"Yeah...will you come and get me?"
Sylvia couldn't believe what she was hearing, "I'm on my way!"
Sylvia sat with her eyes burning, her ears ringing, and her head spinning. She wondered if she were possibly having a nightmare.
This cannot be happening...this cannot be happening,
she kept repeating in her mind, then shook the thoughts. She could not hear what the officer was saying while thinking,
this cannot be happening!
"Are you okay, ma'am?" the officer asked, noticing her reticence to respond.
"I'm just tired. Stunned...I can't believe this is happening," she muttered her thoughts.
"Well, I can assure you that I understand how difficult this is. If you sign here and here, we can release him through the bond you paid. Then you can sign these papers to gain temporary custody of his daughter."
"And if she doesn't wish to come with me? Then what?" Sylvia asked.
"We've talked to Mr. McPherson, and we've spoken with her as well. She knows that if she doesn't agree to be in your temporary custody, she must remain here until morning, and then Social Services will pick her up until her mother arrives to get her."
"She ran from her father, she may very well run from me. She's never met me, doesn't know me from Adam," Sylvia explained, weary with dread.
"We're aware of that, so if you don't sign for her, she will have to stay here until Social Services comes for her. Give it some thought. I'll go and release your fiancé now," the officer informed her as Sylvia finished signing for Shawn. He stood and left the small cold office of the Dane County Courthouse, leaving Sylvia to sit, shiver and think herself crazy once again for the wrong turn she made in deciding to bring him into her life. While she waited for him to be brought out, her mind went back over what had taken place as explained by the officer.
Shawn had been driving back with his daughter, she grew upset with him, jumped from his vehicle in the middle of traffic, he damaged two other vehicles trying to get over to run after her. Those whose cars he damaged, pulled over and called the police. The police arrived, searching the area for him and found him on a side street arguing with his daughter, tugging her by the arm to get her back to his vehicle. The police got out of the car and approached them, when his hysterical and out of control daughter used their presence to get free from her father by refusing to return with him, and then blurting out,
"He touches me!"
Shawn was then arrested and his daughter taken under custody of the court.
Sylvia leaned her face into her palms, her eyes closed with her elbows on her thighs, the accusation running through her mind.
He touches me…He touches me!
"Oh no, god...oh no, please don't let that be true. Please…" she moaned to herself as she heard the door open, Shawn and the officer were talking as they entered the room. She sat up and looked towards the door. The look of him broke her heart. He was so weary and devastated. His eyes were ringed, dark and tired, with fine lines showing at the sides. The shadow of beard growth outside of that which was trimmed made him look rough, but his eyes, without hesitation, went straight to hers and clear to her heart. She was doomed. All she could do was pray as she stood when he walked towards her. Not a word was spoken between them, his arms went around her desperate, tight, squeezing.
"It's not true, Sylvia. It's not true! I've never...not ever—"
"Shhh…I'm here—"
"I can't! I have to say this now!" He pulled away, grabbing her upper arms in a tight grip. "I need you to know this...what she said, that I touch her...God almighty, I would never do such a thing! I would never! I need you to look at me, look me in the eyes and please believe me that it's not true...I would never, Sylvie! I would never do such a thing! God as my witness, I would never!" His eyes filled with tears, Sylvia's did the same and pulled him to her. On her tiptoes, she reached up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I believe you...I do…I believe you!" He had her lifted up off of the floor, hugging her to him.
"Echm...I, ummm, think we need to reach a decision concerning your daughter," the officer interrupted.
The two pulled away from each other, maintaining eye contact another moment before turning back to the officer and taking a seat before his desk. Sylvia was the first to speak up. "This is all wrong, I know he didn't do what she's claimed," she tried to defend.
"Ma'am, as I explained to Mr. McPherson, it doesn't matter that she's recanted her claim. Once such an accusation has been raised before witnesses, especially the police, we cannot release her back into the custody of the accused. Until the matter is proven to be an impulsive lie, we have to take it seriously and see to the protection of the victim, in this case, your daughter."
"My daughter is not a victim!"
"Well, sir, my hands are tied. She cannot be turned over—"
"Wait a minute here, slow down. Did you say she recanted?" Sylvia asked for clarification.
"Yes, I did. She did admit to us that she was upset and angry with her father, and only said it because she wanted him to let her go, that she meant to hurt him. She didn't realize that it would get him arrested and into the trouble that's taken place thus far."
"Well, what does that tell you?" Sylvia asked.
"Ma'am, look. We cannot be certain of the reasons for her taking it back. Maybe it was the shock of seeing her father handcuffed, and to see him as upset as he was. You'd be surprised at how many cases come through, where what the child finally told was true but tried to take back, because having the courts take over is so upsetting to all involved. We, however, have no choice but to follow through, file a report and set up the necessary procedures to get the Child Welfare Department in on this, and Social Services."
Shawn sat back saying not another word. He was still feeling body slammed. To hear his daughter say those words, to see the look in her eyes, he stared at her in abject disbelief, feeling as though someone had kicked him in the stomach. Having the police pull their weapons on him, shouting for him to release her, yelling for him to get down on the ground, had been the thing that brought him out of his stunned stare, had brought her out of her hysteria, making her suddenly realize what she'd done. The damage had been done, no matter that she began crying and yelling at the officers, pulling on their arms and crying out, "It's not true! It's not true! Don't do that to my dad! It's not true!" They hadn't listened, they could only hear her first claim. She was pulled away by an officer and shoved into a back seat, while Shawn lay getting handcuffed.
"So, I can sign for her?"
"I don't want you to, let's go," Shawn said suddenly, surprising Sylvia and the officer. They both looked at him. "Shawn?" Sylvia called his name, surprised. "I mean it, let's go. We'll give Deidre a call, let her know what's going on, and she will pick her up when she arrives."
"But—" Sylvia couldn't believe he was willing to do that.
"Mr. McPherson, are you sure about that?"
"Yes...I am. I...I don't know her anymore. I don't know what she'll do. If she could say what she said about me, knowing that I have never,
ever
done anything of the sort…to my own chi—" he stopped, clenching his jaw as his eyes pooled, his chest hurt. It hurt. His heart felt broken. He sat rubbing his chest, trying not to cry. Sylvia wiped her own eyes, reaching over to rub his shoulders, offering whatever support she could. Shawn cleared his throat and sniffed. The officer passed them both the Kleenex box, they grabbed two to wipe their eyes and dry their noses. Sitting up straight, Shawn stiffened his resolve, he looked up at the officer. "I love my daughter. I have always loved her, as any normal father would love his daughter. I have never put my hands on her in any inappropriate manner. Not ever. I come from a normal, hardworking family background. With a normal loving father, and a normal loving mother. I nor any of my siblings were sexually abused by our parents. Just as it was not within them to do such a thing, it is not within me," he swore before them both. Watching him, seeing the effects this was having on him, made Sylvia love him more.
God help me if I am wrong about him, but he's not guilty of this. No…not this man. I could not love a man guilty of something so vile and evil.
As if he heard her thoughts, Shawn turned and looked at her. "You believe me, don't you?"
"Yes, I do...I believe you."
"Mr. McPherson, you may be telling the truth. However, until we are assured that you are, she stays with us, or goes into the care of your fiancée."
"She stays with you. If she takes off again, something worse could happen."
"Oh, Shawn," Sylvia groaned, now thinking of how this was going to hurt Angela.
"I completely understand your decision."
"Am I allowed to see her before we leave?"
"For all intents and purposes, maybe it would be wise if you just left."
"I'd rather not. I don't care who is present, I just don't want to walk off and leave her, without her hearing from me why I'm leaving her here."
"She's in the very next room, follow me," the officer informed them. All three stood and walked across the office to a connecting room where she sat nodding on a black leather couch. She became alert and looked up as all three adults entered the room. Her eyes went straight to Sylvia, held a moment, then to her father. Her eyes watered. "Daddy, can we go now?"
Shawn inhaled deep and long, and blew it out walking toward her, but would not touch her or reach out. He knelt before her. "Look, umm—" Before he could start off good, she launched herself at him, knocking him back a bit. He had to throw one hand behind him to brace himself from falling to the floor as his other hand tried to push her off of him, back to the sofa.