"It’s all right, Jane," I said. "I understand. Trust me; if I
didn’t have to do this, I wouldn’t be doing it either." I looked at Molly. "You
don’t have to do this, Molly. My family probably doesn’t even know you’re
involved. You could still walk away. I’d understand."
"Hell with that," Molly said cheerfully. "I’ve been dreaming of
sticking it to the Droods where they live for years. Besides, you wouldn’t last
ten minutes without me to back you up, and you know it."
"Thank you, Molly," I said. "That means a lot to me."
"Just promise me one thing," she said. She held my gaze with
hers, fierce and demanding. "Promise me that we’re going back to tear the place
down. Promise me you won’t go soft and beg them to take you back."
"Not a chance in hell," I said, meeting her gaze. "This isn’t
about what my family did to me anymore. It’s about what they’ve done to
everyone."
"You’ve come a long way, Eddie," said Molly. "I wish…I could do
something to help you. To save you from what’s inside you. All those years I
spent trying to kill you, and now something else is beating me to it…I would
save you if I could, Eddie. You do know that?"
"I know," I said. "But…I’ve lived more these last few days with
you than in all those years on my own."
"Oh, get a room, you two," said Janissary Jane. "I’m out of here
before you start comparing favourite poems."
"We are not an item!" said Molly.
"Definitely not," I said solemnly.
"Yeah, right," said Janissary Jane. "I’ll take the black car,
and visit my local union branch. See if I can organise some direct action
against Manifest Destiny for allowing Archie Leech to use me as a weapon in
their fight. The mercenaries’ guild looks after its own. And we’ve always come
down very hard on unfair competition from amateurs. If secret societies want to
build up their own private armies, they should come to us. And pay the going
rate. So…Eddie, Molly. This is good-bye. Good luck, guys. You’re going to need
it. And Eddie…thank you. For saving me from Leech. You could have just destroyed
my body and got rid of him that way. It’s what most people would have done."
"I’m not most people," I said.
"Got that right," said Molly.
We all laughed a little, and then Janissary Jane turned and
walked away without looking back. She’s always been a sentimental sort, for a
mercenary. Molly and I watched her drive away in the big black car, and then we
stood together on the pavement outside the liquor store and looked at each
other. I really didn’t know what to say to her. Were we an item? Were we…a
couple? This was all new to me. Unfamiliar territory. I admired Molly. Liked
her, respected her, enjoyed her company…and I risked my life to save hers
without even thinking about it. Could this be love, come to me late in life, and
unexpected? The family allows its agents to have friends, even lovers, but never
loves. Marriages are decided by the family. It’s just another way of controlling
us. Love is something that comes afterwards, if you’re lucky. Duty and family
must always come first.
Because we protect the world. I’d kill them all, for that lie.
And because I of all people know my family aren’t fit to rule
the world. They had to be stopped, brought down, and humbled. While I was still
strong enough to do it. I might not be able to save myself, but I could still
save the world. One last time.
"I know what you’re thinking," said Molly.
"Rather doubt that," I said.
"Let’s just say I’m as much in the dark as you are," said Molly,
her hand resting gently on my right arm. "You’re a good man, Eddie. I think I
could become very fond of you…in time. But we don’t have much time, do we? So
let’s just do what we have to and worry about other things afterwards. If there
is an afterwards." She smiled suddenly. "Hell, your family will probably kill us
both anyway. So let’s just concentrate on what we’re going to do next."
"Yes," I said. "Let’s do that."
"Starting with that thing on your lapel," said Molly, leaning in
close for a better look at the badge. "The Confusulum. Any idea how you work
it?"
I frowned, peering down at the badge. "The Blue Fairy didn’t
say. And there wasn’t exactly an opportunity to ask for an instruction manual."
I tapped the badge with a fingertip. "Hello? Is there anyone in there?"
And just like that, I made contact with something. Not with my
mind; more like with my soul. I could feel something inside my head and inside
my heart; not human, not in any way human, but large and laughing, playful and
curious. The Confusulum found everything marvellously funny, from this
fascinating new world it was in to its own form and nature. It was alive and not
alive, more than alive…As much a force and a purpose as a person. This new
world, and all the people in it, were just a fascinating novelty to the
Confusulum, to be enjoyed and played with for a while. Until it got bored. The
Confusulum would serve me for as long as it remained amused, and then it would
go somewhere else and do something else. It tried to show me what, but I
couldn’t understand or appreciate any of it. The Confusulum laughed again, like
a child playing with a brand-new toy, and broke the contact. I looked at Molly.
"Well?" she said.
"I think it’ll do whatever we want," I said cautiously.
"It’s…very strange. I don’t know if it’ll confuse our enemies, but it baffles
the hell out of me."
Molly sniffed. "Should have given it to me. I’d soon teach it to
sit up and beg. I’m used to dealing with magical items with minds of their own.
You have to show them who’s boss."
"Oh, I’m pretty sure it knows who’s boss," I said.
"Look, can it help us with our most urgent problem? Namely, how
we’re supposed to get to the Hall? All the usual and unusual ways out of London
are bound to be closely monitored now, either by your family or Manifest
Destiny, and I don’t have nearly enough energy left in me to summon a spatial
portal. If only I hadn’t had to smash the Manx Cat to save your life. I could
have drawn a lot of power from that statue."
"So this is all my fault, then?"
"Everything is your fault, Drood, until proven otherwise."
"All right," I said patiently. "Let’s start with that.
Confusulum, can you help Molly get her power back?"
Oh, sure! said a happy voice in my ear. Easy peasy!
The badge on my lapel pulsed with an otherworldly light, and all
around us the world became uncertain. The Confusulum exerted its unique nature
and confused the issue so much that the universe itself wasn’t sure whether
Molly had her power or not. It was as though someone had nudged the universe in
the ribs so that it skipped a beat, and just like that…the world was subtly
different. Magic spat and crackled on the air all around Molly as power surged
through her, and she laughed aloud with sheer exhilaration. She swept her hands
back and forth, and shimmering trails of energy followed her hands. Molly’s face
was flushed with an almost sexual excitement, and she looked incredibly alive,
full to bursting with all the energies of the wild woods.
I thought she’d never looked more beautiful.
(There were side effects to the change. Posters in the shop
windows were suddenly different colours, or had different names. Red roses
bloomed in the gutters. And a sheep walked solemnly backwards down the street.)
"Damn!" Molly said, grinning from ear to ear. "This is…amazing!
I feel like I could take on the whole damned world and make it cry like a baby!
You want a spatial portal, Eddie? I feel like I could transport this whole
damned street from one end of the country to the other!"
"Actually, I think that might be a bit conspicuous," I said in
what I hoped was a calm, reasonable, and very soothing voice. "And anyway, we
can’t risk using a spatial portal to get us to the Hall. My family’s defences
would detect that. No, our only chance is to sneak in and take my family by
surprise."
"You said you wanted to bring your family down!"
"I do, I do! But even with you back at your best, there’s still
no way we can hope to go head-to-head with my family and survive. You know that,
Molly."
She scowled. "All right, maybe I do. So, how are we going to get
to the Hall?"
"We use the Confusulum," I said. "If it can confuse the whole
universe about whether you have magic, it can confuse the world about where we
really are. Right, badge?"
Oh, sure! No problem! I just live to confuse the issue! You
know, you think very clearly for a three-dimensional entity!
So the Confusulum exerted itself, the world threw up its hands
and said, Oh, have it your way then, and Molly and I appeared just inside the
Hall’s grounds. Vast grassy lawns stretched away before us, with the house
looming up ahead on the horizon. It was early evening now, the light already
going out of the day. The sky was full of lowering clouds, and the air was hot
and heavy. I looked quickly around, but there didn’t seem to be anyone about. I
was half crouching, tense with anticipation for alarms going off and defences
activating, but everything seemed calm and quiet, the peace of the evening
undisturbed except by the singing of a few drowsy birds and the whickering of
the unicorns in their stables. The peace didn’t fool me. The Hall and its
grounds were seriously protected at all times by quite appallingly vicious
scientific and magical means. All of which, it seemed, were currently utterly
bewildered by the Confusulum. I straightened up and nodded slowly.
I’d come home.
"Stick close to me," I said to Molly. "The family can’t view me
remotely while I wear the torc, and as long as you’re right beside me it should
protect you too."
"I can protect myself," Molly said automatically. She was
staring about her with wide eyes and a disbelieving smile. "Oh, Eddie, you
should have told me…This place is fabulous! I mean, the size of these
grounds…You could land an airplane on lawns this size! And you’ve got fountains,
and your own lake…and swans! Oooh…I just love swans!"
"Me too," I said. "Delicious."
"Barbarian! Are those peacocks over there?"
"Yes. Try not to set them off. They can make more noise than the
alarms."
"I always figured you guys lived well, but this is incredible. I
know some landed gentry who don’t have it as good as this!"
"Welcome to my home," I said. "One day, absolutely none of this
will be mine."
Molly looked at me. "Why drop us off here, so far from the Hall?
Why not arrive somewhere useful, inside the house?"
"Because that would have set off alarms," I said. "Even the
Confusulum couldn’t handle the kind of security my family has set up throughout
the Hall. The kind of alarms primed to go off if they’re even suspicious or just
have a bad dream. The defences out here are more straightforward: on/off,
kill/don’t kill, that sort of thing. Child’s play for the Confusulum."
Molly grinned cheerfully. "If I’d known burgling the Hall was
this easy, I’d have done it years ago."
We moved cautiously forward across the lawns, towards the house.
We stayed off the gravel path, far too noisy, and we gave the peacocks plenty of
room. A few sounded off, but no one in the house would give their plaintive
cries any attention. Molly and I actually covered quite a distance before half a
dozen robot guns rose suddenly out of the ground from their hidden silos. Big,
ugly, brutal weapons, they swivelled back and forth as their fire computers
struggled to target the intruders whose proximity had set them off. Molly and I
stood very still while I rested one hand on the badge at my lapel. The
Confusulum did its thing, and the guns swivelled jerkily back and forth,
increasingly confused and upset by conflicting impulses. So in the end the
stupid things decided that since they were the only things moving, they must be
the intruders. And they shot the hell out of each other. Muzzles roared, bullets
flew, and one by one the robot guns exploded messily in bursts of fire and
smoke. None of the bullets came anywhere near Molly or me.
"So much for sneaking in," said Molly as the last echoes of
gunfire died away.
"Shut up and run," I said.
We sprinted forward across the lawns. Lights were coming on
inside the Hall. I had no doubt people would be crowding around their security
monitors, trying to figure out what was happening. Hopefully the Confusulum
would keep them guessing for a while. The robot guns had been known to
malfunction before; they were one of Alistair’s ideas.
"Up ahead," said Molly. "What are those ugly-looking things?"
"Oh, shit," I said.
"I really hate it when you say that."
"Just stick really close to me, okay?"
Two of the gryphons came lumbering across the grass towards us,
great lumpy things with gray scaly bodies and long, morose faces. They were the
only ones who looked forward to intruders, because they got to eat them. The
Confusulum had to be having some effect on them, or they would have foreseen our
coming and warned the house. But this close, the simple creatures believed what
their senses were telling them, no matter how confused they might feel. I waited
till they were almost upon us, and then sank down onto my haunches and spoke
easily to them, calm and friendly, letting them remember my voice as they got my
scent. They approached me slowly, gave me a good sniff all over, and then
nuzzled my hands with their soft mouths. They blinked suspiciously at Molly, but
I just kept talking soothingly to them, keeping their attention on me. They sat
down and leaned their great weight against me, making happy snuffling sounds.
"Those things smell really horrible," said Molly.
"Hush," I said. "You’ll hurt their feelings. They’re gryphons.
Better than guard dogs because they can actually see the near future. Usually.
But because they never met a piece of carrion they didn’t want to roll in,
they’re never allowed inside the house. I always felt sorry for them when I was
just a kid; left out here alone, in all weathers. So I used to sneak out at
night and feed them bits of offal and stuff from the kitchens. It seems they
remember me…"