(Book 2)What Remains (19 page)

Rest and food cleared my head; I felt better
than I had in days. We enjoyed the time in our attic hideaway
together. The improvised living space was more comfortable in this
moment than it had ever been in the time before. There was an
unmistakable dread over what was to happen past that night. Yet, I
didn’t let it stop me from enjoying the moment. If the road ahead
was a storm on the horizon, then my loving family was an umbrella
that would shelter me from the worst of it.

Sarah tucked Maddox into his heap of blankets
while I helped Calise nestle into hers. “Sleep well, babies,” she
said in her soothing voice. “We have a busy morning tomorrow.” They
didn’t argue over being put to bed for probably the first time in
their lives. I followed Sarah to our side to give the kids some
space.

“Did the world have to end for them to go to bed
without a fight?” I whispered.

Sarah smiled while she wrapped her arms around
me. We stayed that way for a while; perfectly content holding each
other in the relative silence. A few minutes passed before Sarah
broke away to check if the kids were asleep. Then she sat so close
in front of me that our knees connected. The smile on her face was
forced and I knew it. “So…?”

I raised an eyebrow. “So what?”

“Tell me what happened.” Her eyes went into a
justifiable roll.

“I’m home. That’s what happened.” I tried to
move away to lie down. Her claws sank into my knee and forcefully
refocused my priorities in a way that only a wife could.

“Cut the bullshit, Nathan.” We both were caught
off guard by the increase in her volume. Sarah looked back over to
make sure she hadn’t bothered the kids. “You’re home and you got
exactly what we needed, yes. I know there’s more. From the moment
you came up here I knew something was wrong. I can see it on your
face. Tell me what happened so we can worry about what is coming
instead of dwelling on what’s happened.”

A long sigh deflated my chest. “You’re right,
baby.” I hesitated again before the words came out. “I had to kill
again. Another person that was desperate, exactly like me, died so
that
we
could live.”

Her expression was reminiscent of the one she
had after I confessed to killing Phil on my journey home. “I’m sure
you did what you had to do.”

“Of course I did.” Tears streamed from my tired
face. “I’d do it again and again. If the only way I could guarantee
our safety was to build a castle of bodies, then I’d already be
laying the fucking cornerstones. What bothers me the most is
wondering how many times I’ll have to resort to that. I mean, if we
ever get to safety what will remain of my soul after the things
I’ve done?”

Maddox snorted in his sleep. We both shrank
slightly from the worry of being too loud again.

“I don’t feel a damn thing when I kill the
infected anymore. Now I slice apart these walking memorials of the
people that lost this battle and I don’t feel a damn thing.
Shouldn’t I feel something?”

“There isn’t really an answer to that. They
don’t have any more worries –we do.”

“Don’t patronize me, Sarah.”

“Nathan,” she said calmly, “calm down. This
isn’t about the infected ones so don’t distract yourself from the
root of it. We need to get this out now. After you told me about
what happened on your way home from work, you went about everything
with a clearer head. We need that now. I need you to have a clearer
head because I can’t do this alone. Did you find out his name?”

“McAllister. His name was Ian McAllister.”

We whispered for at least another hour. I told
her every detail. She learned about everything from the zombie that
was mangled by a cactus all the way to the horrible shock that went
through my arm as the crowbar pieced Ian’s skull. Occasionally
Sarah squeezed my hand or gave me a peck on the cheek as she
listened. Every minute that passed I felt the weight ease from my
shoulders. This amazing woman supported me, and the burden of my
sins, until I could breathe once again.

It was all a comforting testament to the fact
that when all this was over, what remained of my tattered soul
would be held in place by the unconditional love that flowed from
my three reasons for being. We drifted off to sleep in a warm
embrace.

Deep inside the many layers of blankets a steady
beep emanated from my watch alarm that was loud enough to yank me
out of the blissful fog of a sound sleep. It was surprising how
long the alarm went off before I finally reacted. Sleep in the
attic was rarely as deep as it was the night before we left.
Anxiety either unnerves or tranquilizes; I was thankful it was the
latter.

The kids began to rise before Sarah moved. There
was a hint of excited anticipation on their faces, like we were on
the cusp of some grand adventure. Our escape to the farm had all of
the components to be a storybook tale: a princess, a prince, a king
and a queen, monsters and heroes, a land so unlike the ordinary it
must be something extraordinary. They had the liberty to look at
this ordeal without a single thought pertaining to our chances for
survival. If not for the constant threat of our bodies and souls
being consumed by evil then maybe we could be a fucking Disney
movie.

The three of us quietly munched on dry cereal
while Sarah rolled up the sleeping bags into their tight pouches.
The only light came from two candles beside us and from an L.E.D.
lantern near the beds where Sarah worked. Sunrise was half an hour
away at this point. Breakfast by candlelight was a strange activity
that we had grown accustomed to. Any warming light of a newly risen
sun was obscured by our sound-dampening defenses. Lighting in the
attic went up during the day depending on how we moved the boxes
blocking the side vents. In the time after the jungle incident the
vents had remained closed. Our stockpile of candles and flashlights
with batteries could have never brought the brightness that should
have accompanied the first meal of the day.

That day felt different because we all knew it
would be our last breakfast, or meal period, in the fractured
haven. Most of the packing had been completed the previous day.
Before bed the previous night we had told the kids that the plan
was to eat, then load the car in the first minutes after
sunrise.

It seemed that when the dead came back they also
gnawed away at the daylight hours on both ends of the spectrum.
Their nocturnal advantage was a factor twenty minutes before, and
after, the sun was supposed to be visible. On that morning it
didn’t matter how much attention we garnered from the trespassers
on the front side of the house. What mattered was that we were able
to do what we needed on the backside then get the hell out.

Outside, a random roar of a fetid beast reduced
my appetite. The kids finished up so I helped Sarah with the final
touches. Packing was an odd conundrum. It was so easy to imagine
taking it all with us, however, doing so would have made things too
cramped in the back of the LLV. We had to be ready for anything. If
the need should arise, we had to be able to stay inside that truck
for days at a time.

The last major thing we prepared was the mess of
blankets we’d used in the attic. Blankets could be pinned to the
truck sidewalls for heat and noise insulation. I was worried about
the kids getting bored. That worry lessened when my better half
held up our old eBook reader along with the solar charger I got for
Christmas years ago. That thing was stocked with all manner of
books and games since it had changed hands through everyone except
Calise.

When it was time, I went down first to check the
house. This was undoubtedly the coldest I’d experienced the house
since our captivity began. Misty breath billowed from my nostrils
as I went from room to room. It reminded me how happy I was to be
leaving that place. Even the thought of looking through the
peephole turned my stomach; I had no desire to see the front of the
house ever again after what I witnessed on Thanksgiving. I placed
my ear against the front door to listen. The thin coating of metal
that reinforced the door by design was so cold that I imagined my
face sticking to it like a tongue to a flagpole.

My heart pounded so wildly that I couldn’t hear
anything else at first. Trying to calm my nerves, I took a deep
breath through my nose then released it through my mouth. A rush of
hot breath fogged the space before me like a raging teakettle. It
took a few breaths before I could focus on the noise from beyond
the door.

I could hear them milling around the yard. There
was a brief vibration of a body hitting the side of the house then
the sound immediately followed. The creature grunted with
frustration then moved on. Their random chokes, gurgles and growls
filled me with more rage than fear. I had to pull away before my
temper forced action.

I returned to the ladder opening to signal the
all clear. Maddox passed me the remaining bags, then handed me the
rifle and shotgun. We were all bundled enough for a day in the
snow. Out of habit my hand kept patting my side to ensure that the
Kukri was in its proper place. Hand signals or whispers
communicated orders to the kids. Everything was moved into the
bedroom then we closed the door.

“I’ll check the yard then help Daddy down,”
Sarah said quietly. “You both need to stay in here and
stay
quiet
. We’ll come get you when it’s time to go over the
fence.”

A few minutes later I was out in the yard
hauling the larger of the bags to the fence. I scaled the ladder to
begin loading. The neighbors’ yard still looked empty and all of my
security measures were in place just as I had left them. Sarah
started to climb until I stopped her; which caused her to look at
me with a quizzical, almost irritated, glare.

“Just in case. One of us has to be near them.”
At that, she didn’t protest. As badly as I wanted the help so we
could get it all over with, we truly couldn’t take the chance.

My Tetris skills were called upon then. I
couldn’t wait to tell my mom that she was wrong about the time
wasted twenty years ago on a Game Boy. Sarah disappeared for a
minute to do something in the yard; time was too tight to stop to
find out what she was up to. Half an hour passed before everything
was loaded on 522. Anxious bile again churned inside my stomach so
horribly that I didn’t dwell on the extra time spent beyond what I
had planned.

The distribution of our supplies was a troubling
exercise. I could have worked on it for days and still would have
questioned if I got it right. In the end I attempted to have enough
food, activity and otherwise for a day, maybe two, inside of the
truck. The bulk of our water containers and everything else had to
go on the roof, whether I liked it or not. A tarp with silver on
one side and hunter green on the other was roped over everything
but the jugs of gasoline using Para-cord.

Sarah and I prepared to switch places in order
to prepare the back of the truck. My packing got the supplies ready
to move, however, the area where she and the kids would be was
hardly ready for long-term occupants. She stood at the top of the
ladder with all of the solar accent lights from the yard tucked in
her jacket, which was apparently what she had been doing in the
yard. It was a smart idea to bring the solar lights to save on
batteries when we only needed ambient lighting.

She was scanning the yard when suddenly she
flipped the rifle to her front and aimed it down the other
direction. The sudden change of posture startled me.

“What are you doing?!” I growled.

She motioned with the rifle towards the opposite
side of the neighbor’s yard. I held my hand up as a signal for her
to wait then slid the Kukri from its scabbard smoothly into my
eager grip. The blade brought a welcomed sense of comfort and
security whenever I wielded it. I took a few steps away from 522
then looked back at my wife who still pointed the gun in the same
direction I headed.

My brain tried to replay the check I had done of
the yard thirty minutes before. I wondered if in my anxious haste I
could have missed something. A scraping sound nearby froze my
footsteps. I continued towards the ancient-looking pickup truck
that had remained parked by the shed for as long as I could
remember. The truck sat atop a concrete slab that had enough dirt
covering it could have grown grass in spots. I advanced towards
along the driver’s side seeking the source of the movement that had
Sarah on guard. Another scrape caused me to swing around expecting
to be face to face with the monster that needed to be silenced.
However, nothing was there.

I turned to shrug at Sarah and immediately
noticed her panicked face. I leaped forward to clear whatever
danger she had seen, and then spun to take it apart. The Kukri
sliced through the air and nothing else because the threat I sought
was no higher than my knee. The neighbor boy, or what was left of
him, swatted at me from the ground. Instinctually I took another
step backwards trying to align an attack.

For the life of me I couldn’t remember his name.
We had lived in our house for close to a decade and their colorful
family lived behind us throughout. Yet in all that time I only
heard the kid’s name shouted by his mother and siblings. There were
a few times over the years when he and I came face to face during
the retrieval of a wayward ball. Much like those random meetings,
there we were facing off in awkward silence. He might have been
fourteen or fifteen when he died, probably succumbing during those
terrible days when the infection turned people on each other. Now
he was caked in filth under a dilapidated truck guarding it like a
wild animal protecting its den.

He swatted towards me again without getting any
closer. Sarah made a ‘
psst
’ sound to get my attention. She
still aimed the rifle my way, urging me to the side so she could
take the shot. I flashed the steel of my blade towards her to
indicate my intention to keep things quiet. Upon closer inspection
I saw what held the little bastard at bay; a rope was tied around
his neck and right arm. A coating of dirty muck stained the rope
enough to camouflage it.